back from the borderline

Weak or nonexistent personal boundaries can leave us feeling drained, manipulated, and even resentful. In this episode, we’ll explore how to recognize if you’re struggling with boundary issues and the impact this can have on your sense of self-worth, emotional stability, and relationships. Many of us learn unhealthy boundary patterns early on, often tied to codependency and the need to please others, which can ultimately lead to feelings of worthlessness and passivity. If you want to skip straight to the boundaries discussion, jump to minute 16 after the listener Q&A. We’ll cover what personal boundaries truly are, why they matter, and how a lack of boundaries can affect your interactions with friends, family, and partners. We’ll also debunk common myths about setting boundaries and highlight the positive changes you can expect when you start asserting your needs.In the premium version of this episode, available for subscribers, we take an even deeper dive into boundary-setting:Understanding that you have the right to set boundaries and define your needsHow to uncover your boundaries by exploring your personal needsStrategies for confidently saying “no” and recognizing when someone has oversteppedHow to stop overcommitting and reclaim your time and energySample conversation frameworks to help you set clear boundaries with loved ones and protect your emotional well-beingThis episode offers practical insights and tools to help you reclaim control over your life, develop a healthier sense of self, and foster more fulfilling relationships. Join us as we unpack the essentials of boundary-setting and create a path toward genuine self-respect and stability.Craving the full episode? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is it possible that what we often call “mental illness” might actually be a form of spiritual starvation? In this episode, we explore the limitations of traditional psychiatric diagnoses and question the narratives that define certain behaviors as “disorders” or “dysfunctions.” Diving into the complexities of the medical model in mental health, we discuss why diagnoses like “personality disorder” are often controversial, considering how they can overlook social context and carry heavy stigmas.We also touch on how trauma-informed care and holistic approaches can offer a more compassionate, empowering framework for healing. From alchemical thought and symbolism to spirituality and myth, I’ll share how these elements have played a transformative role in my own recovery, helping me reconnect with a deeper sense of self beyond diagnostic labels. My journey has been guided by the motto “solve et coagula”—to break down and rebuild—a concept that embodies the heart of this episode.Join me as we question the over-pathologizing of human emotion, explore the powerful role spirituality can play in recovery, and consider how a more integrated approach can help us live beyond the limits of labels. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this mini bonus episode, I answer a voicemail question from listener Kelly, who asks how to move forward to the next phase of her recovery journey. Together, we explore what it means to deepen your healing, letting go of old patterns and stepping into new growth. To wrap up, I’m also giving you a sneak peek of a premium episode where I dive into the nuanced topic of using sex as a form of self-harm—a powerful exploration of how unhealed wounds can shape our relationship with intimacy.Craving the full version of this episode? Become a Premium Submarine to join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content, including ALL full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more. For the cost of a couple of coffees a month, you can start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast explores the connection between trauma and hyper-sexuality, discussing topics such as compulsive sexual behavior, the link between personality disorders and sexual addiction, the dangers of sex work, and the role of trauma in sexual masochism. It also delves into the experiences of survival sex, the pressures and risks associated with it, and the importance of trauma-informed therapy in coping with distress and discovering authentic desires.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert on love, intimacy, and relationships, to discuss what it truly means to reconnect with our erotic selves and find grounding in genuine pleasure—whether we’re partnered or not. Together, we explore how cultural expectations, societal pressures, and internalized “scripts” can disconnect us from our own desires, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and even resentful toward intimacy. If you’ve ever felt a sense of “sexual blockage” or wondered if you were somehow disconnected from your erotic nature, this conversation is for you. Dr. Solomon and I discuss the experience of performing sexuality instead of enjoying it, the frustration of feeling like intimacy is something we do for others rather than for ourselves, and the harmful impact of constantly putting our own needs last.We also touch on topics that reveal just how pervasive these struggles are:Dissociating during sex and the emotional distance it createsThe pressure to “perform” sexually as a means of attracting or keeping a partnerDr. Solomon’s perspective on “the OnlyFans phenomenon” and the idea of “sex as self-harm”The impact of hardcore pornography on sites like PornHub, reinforcing damaging gendered expectations in intimate relationshipsWhether you’ve felt disconnected from your body, struggled with resentment toward intimacy, or been wary of “divine feminine” programs that promise to heal you for a steep price, this episode offers a refreshing, honest exploration of what it means to reclaim pleasure and embrace your own erotic journey on your own terms. Join us for a candid conversation that challenges the scripts and empowers you to reconnect with yourself.RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Book | Reclaiming Pleasure by Holly RichmondBook | Come As You Are by Emily NagoskiPodcast | Pleasure MechanicsCONNECT WITH ALEXANDRA:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we’re confronting the often-overlooked sexist and misogynistic roots of psychiatry, guided by insights from Dr. Jessica Taylor, author of Sexy But Psycho. Dr. Taylor reveals that, even today, simply being female is correlated with nearly every mental disorder listed in the DSM-V. Women are statistically more likely to receive diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, BPD, and eating disorders, which raises crucial questions about gender bias in psychiatric practices. We’ll examine the historical context of “hysteria” and how early psychiatric labels were used to control and marginalize women. The discussion also covers the disproportionately high rates of BPD diagnoses among women and how feminist critics view this diagnosis as a reflection of societal attitudes toward women’s responses to trauma and oppression, rather than as an inherent disorder. Through this conversation, we aim to expose and challenge the ways gender discrimination continues to shape mental health diagnoses and explore alternative perspectives that validate women’s experiences and resilience.Recommended resources: Please Stop Using My Mental Illness to Fulfill Your Fantasy (Healthline article by Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro)Sexy But Psycho: How the Patriarchy Uses Women’s Trauma Against Them (book by Dr. Jessica Taylor) Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we explore the topic of existential dread, death anxiety, spirituality, and religious trauma, and offer strategies for coping with these challenging experiences. You'll join my dog Cody and me for a walk as we discuss insights on how to find meaning and purpose in life despite the inevitability of death, and how spirituality can provide a source of comfort and solace in times of crisis. We also delve into the topic of religious trauma, discussing how to navigate the pain and confusion that can arise from experiences of spiritual abuse or trauma. Join us as we offer practical tips and tools for managing existential dread, death anxiety, and religious trauma, and discover how to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life.Recommended resources:Movie: “A Ghost Story” (2017)Book on the tarot that jump-started my spirituality journey: “Fearless Tarot” by Elliot AdamEpisode of the podcast where I interview Elliot AdamInspiring talk on the 13th century poet & Sufi mystic RumiTalk on St. Teresa of Avila’s Life & Teaching on SurrenderUnderstanding the Dark Night of the Soul & Spiritual Desolation of St. John of the CrossTalk on The Centering Prayer Meditation from the Festival of FaithsThe Noble Journey from Fear to Fearlessness with Pema ChödrönHo'oponopono Mantra for Healing Everything with Dr. Kim D'eramoCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, you’ll join my dog Cody and me for a walk in the witchy woods while I break in my new Dr. Marten boots. On our walk, I’ll explain why a book about self-compassion made me incredibly furious this week. After that, I’ll tell you why my spirit mother archetype is a mixture of RuPaul and Grandmother Willow from the 1995 Pocahontas movie. Recommended resources:■ Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristen Neff■ The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo■ We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you experience intense mood swings, anxiety, or depression around your period, you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the effects of PMS, PMDD, and hormonal birth control on our mental and emotional health, exploring how these cycles shape our mood and well-being. Recently, I discovered the practice of Menstrual Cycle Awareness (MCA) through the work of Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, founders of RedSchool. This framework, which sees the menstrual cycle as a series of inner “seasons,” has been a game-changer in helping me navigate emotional waves and manage severe premenstrual symptoms—including those intense enough to qualify for PMDD.Together, we’ll unpack how period stigma has shaped our understanding of menstrual health, often leaving out crucial insights that can help us reclaim a sense of control. You’ll learn about the four distinct phases of the menstrual cycle and how becoming attuned to these natural rhythms can support emotional regulation. We’ll also explore the impact of hormonal birth control on mood, examining how it can sometimes exacerbate symptoms of emotional dysregulation.Additional topics include:The difference between PMS and PMDD, and whether premenstrual symptoms should be considered a mental disorderCultural attitudes and rites around menstruation from around the worldPractical steps to begin practicing MCA for improved mental health and well-beingThe potential benefits of seed cycling for managing mood swings tied to the menstrual cycleThis episode is a guide to understanding the power of the menstrual cycle—a power many of our mothers and grandmothers didn’t have the chance to share with us. Whether you’re struggling with intense symptoms or simply curious about a new approach to emotional regulation, this conversation offers valuable insights for reconnecting with your body and finding greater balance.Recommended resources:■ Flo Period Tracking app (I use the free version)■ Think Dirty Shop Clean App■ Wild Power (book that explains MCA and the inner seasons)■ Blog article by Rising Woman that breaks down the inner seasons one by oneCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alessia Camoirano Bruges is an Italian-Colombian artist based in London. Her unique “fluid art” is inspired by its ever-changing nature – just like humans and our emotions. She combines her passion for color psychology, color therapy, fluidity, and her emotional intensity into her artwork. She sees each piece as a cathartic experience in which she can connect to her inner child and relaxed into fully embodied presence & mindfulness. In this episode, we discuss Alessia's battle with her eating disorder and her struggle with emotional dysregulation & chronic pain that led her to her personal rock bottom moment where she realized *she* was the common denominator in her chaotic life. We also discuss how she bravely decided reach out for help and found healing through DBT and EMDR and how this allowed her to begin channeling her big emotions into creative projects, which resulted in her artwork being published in massive publications and getting hired as a documentary filmmaker for Vice.Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Alessia’s experience growing up as an “emotionally intense” child (often being told she was “too much”)■ How to learn to embrace your emotional intensity as an inherent strength and creative tool■ Mollie & Alessia discuss their shared struggled with oversharing■ Getting “the ick” (the sudden desire to rid ourselves of romantic partners or friendships)■ Alessia’s experience trying to repress her eating disorder/depression with extreme fandom■ Suffering in silence with “high-functioning” mental health issues (eating disorders, depression, BPD)■ Alessia’s personal battle with chronic pain■ How Alessia finally found a therapist that was a good match for her who took a holistic approach to treatment (treated her as person, not a disorder)■ Alessia’s struggles with emotional flashbacks (and how EMDR therapy helped her with this)■ How painting has become her most effective therapeutic method■ Alessia’s early childhood intuitive relationship with color that grew into a passion for color psychology■ Alessia’s struggle with imposter syndrome even after the critical acclaim and success of her artwork■ Her experience getting hired to work for Vice and creating documentariesCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.