The Art of We

In episode 57 of the "Art of We" podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer discuss the epidemic of loneliness and isolation, particularly during the darker and colder days of the year. They emphasize the importance of normalizing these feelings and acknowledge that even individuals in strong partnerships or with supportive communities often experience a version of loneliness. Dr. Will speculates on the biological and societal factors contributing to seasonal loneliness. Krista shares statistics from the US Surgeon General of 2023, highlighting the significant health risks associated with social isolation.The hosts explore various strategies to cope with loneliness, including sharing their common go-tos. Dr. Will discusses the benefits of bright light therapy for seasonal affective disorder and the potential role of vitamin D supplementation in addressing depression. They conclude by encouraging listeners to also share their experiences and coping strategies around loneliness.Main Topics Covered:Loneliness and isolation are discussed as an epidemic, especially during the darker days of the year.Biological and societal factors contribute to seasonal loneliness.Statistics from the US Surgeon General highlight the health risks associated with social isolation.Normalizing everyone feels flavors of this from time to time and ways to help soothe the Bright light therapy and vitamin D supplementation are suggested as potential interventions for seasonal affective disorder.Reflecting on negative historical experiences during this time of year that can color the present day experienceListen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Resources Mentioned: US Surgeon's 2023 Report “Our Epidemic On Isolation + Loneliness”Northern Light TechnologiesThe Kiffness - YouTubeGet in Touch: The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In episode 56 of the "Art of We" podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer delve into the intricate relationship between personal and professional growth and what can be possible inside professional relationships that have varying hierarchical structures or power dynamics. They revisit Stan Taktin’s concept of "secure functioning" and introduce their We Operating System (WeOS), a framework influenced by neuroscience, The Collaborative Way, and growth mindsets. The hosts unpack three crucial elements for fostering optimal relationships in hierarchical settings, emphasizing the integration of personal and professional development, establishing collaborative agreements, and embracing a progress-over-perfection mindset.Main Topics Covered:The “WeOS” Framework:Introduction to the neuroscience-inspired concept of "secure functioning"Overview of their We Operating System (WeOS), incorporating three key components: Secure Functioning, Growth-Oriented Mindset, and the Collaborative Way.Three Essential Elements for Optimal Professional Relationships:Committing to personal growth together within hierarchical relationships.Establishing agreements and practices to promote a more secure, strong and healthy working relationship.Embracing progress over perfection, focusing on excellence and continuous learning.Leadership Responsibility and Team Dynamics:The role of leaders in practicing collaborative agreements and remaining open to feedback.Reflections on the collaborative nature of successful team dynamics and the impact of these principles on overall team performance.Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Resources Mentioned: The Art of We Episode 52: Why You Want A Secure Functioning Business PartnershipThe Collaborative WayStan Tatkin PACT The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In this episode of "The Art of We," Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer delve into the fascinating journey of transitioning from a "me-first" mindset to a "we-focused" perspective in both personal and professional leadership. Dr. Will shares his evolution from a solo psychiatrist to a leader in a large organization, highlighting the challenges and insights gained along the way.Episode Highlights:Introduction (0:00 - 0:57)Interviewing Dr. Will and the episode's focus on his journey from a solo practitioner to a leader in a large organization.Evolution from Solo Practitioner (0:57 - 6:27)Dr. Will's background as a solo psychiatrist and the initial one-man show in his private practice.The significance of the success being primarily about him, his reputation, and word-of-mouth referrals.The gradual shift towards hiring staff members but still maintaining an "all about me" mindset.Leadership Development (6:27 - 13:25)Krista reflects on the transformation from "me" to "we" perspective and the importance of thinking about what's best for the company.The challenges of transitioning and the need for collaboration and vulnerability.The journey of learning to rely on others and the shift from "I can do it better" to "we can do more."The Importance of Collaboration (13:25 - 19:19)Dr. Will's struggle with social anxiety and delegating tasks, and the fear of relinquishing control.The significance of transforming into a leader who trusts others' abilities and harnesses collective intelligence.The analogy of a silverback gorilla as an example of leading from a "we" perspective for the greater good.Leadership and Growth (19:19 - 22:11)Emphasizing the importance of mentoring and coaching others and sharing credit and responsibility.The benefits of creating a culture of collaboration and collective intelligence within an organization.The evolution of leadership from "I can do it better" to "we can do more."Challenges and Vulnerability (22:11 - 25:01)Dr. Will's fear of becoming irrelevant in the shift towards a "we" perspective.The relief and challenges of sharing success, responsibility, and blame with others.The importance of facing psychological limitations and embracing growth.Support and Personal Growth (25:01 - 26:34)The role of psychotherapy and support systems in personal and professional development.Acknowledging the importance of seeking psychological support when needed.Conclusion (26:34)Encouraging listeners to explore the benefits of adopting a "we" perspective in various aspects of their lives.The realization that a "we" perspective is essential for a bigger impact and requires personal growth and support.Tune in to gain valuable insights on the journey from a "me" to a "we" mindset in leadership and discover the transformative power of collaboration and collective success in personal and professional growth.Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Resources Mentioned: The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

Welcome to Episode 54 of "The Art of We" podcast. In this episode, we explore two essential aspects why agreements are vital for the success of relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Too often, we only focus on what we need to “do” to accomplish our goals, rather than understanding the security of our relationships is an essential part to accomplishing our goals. Relationship agreements help build this security and create a very strong competitive advantage. Picture a treacherous, winding mountain road without guardrails. A relationship without agreements can be similar. It's a journey with many unknowns, where tensions and conflicts can arise unexpectedly. Without agreements, we risk falling off the metaphorical cliff. The steeper the mountain (ambitious goals), the harder the fall, making it challenging to climb back up together. Explicit relationship agreements act as guardrails, helping us navigate safely, resolve issues, and stay on course.Krista shares her experience of adopting explicit relationship agreements with Will. These agreements prevent catastrophic ruptures and quickly resolve nagging issues, allowing them to focus on their shared vision rather than getting lost in the weeds. They also promote self-awareness, enabling them to address disagreements and challenges constructively. Explicit relationship agreements act as the foundation for productive, satisfying relationships.Integrating agreements into one's personal and professional life can be transformative. It brings intentionality and focus, replacing a passive, meandering approach. We share the challenge of navigating relationships when individuals have diverse backgrounds, cultures, and experiences. For example, mismatched understandings of commitment and conflict resolution can hinder progress. Agreement-making clarifies expectations, aligns communication, and allows groups to work cohesively. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Topics Covered:The importance of agreements as guardrails in relationships.How explicit relationship agreements can prevent catastrophic ruptures and resolve nagging issues.The role of agreements in aligning communication and fostering collaboration in diverse groups.The transformative power of accountability and intentionality.Resources Mentioned: The Collaborative WayThe Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In episode 53, Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer dive deep into the complexities of selecting the right business partner. They embark on a journey through the early stages of forming a business partnership or co-founder relationship, offering valuable insights and wisdom that go beyond conventional advice found online.The episode begins by likening the initial partnership discussions to a dating experience. Dr. Will and Krista share essential questions to ask potential partners, such as inquiring about past partnership experiences, conflict resolution methods, and the reasons behind not being in previous partnerships. They underscore the importance of assessing a person's subjective interpretation of their past experiences, as this can reveal much about their mindset and readiness for collaboration.As the conversation unfolds, the hosts shed light on practical considerations for prospective business partners. They emphasize the significance of finding complementary skill sets and strengths within a partnership. Drawing parallels between successful business partnerships and various forms of teamwork, they highlight the need for well-defined roles and areas of expertise.The episode delves into the delicate matter of commitment and motivation. Listeners are encouraged to evaluate their potential partners' commitment levels and motivations. You’ll hear a distinction between ego-driven motives and deep, impactful purposes, and an exploration of maintaining a growth-oriented mindset, especially in the face of entrepreneurial challenges.Tune in to this episode for an in-depth exploration of the early stages of choosing the right business partner and building a strong foundation for a successful partnership.Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Topics Covered:Advice on how to choose the right business partner and what questions to askEssential skill sets and strengths for successful partnerships, ensuring that partners can work harmoniously and move the company mission forwardThe importance of a growth-oriented mindset for overcoming entrepreneurial challengesBeing comfortable with discomfort, addressing challenges, and providing and receiving feedback effectivelyCreating clear agreements for the business relationship to ensure a successful partnership and successful companyResources Mentioned: The Art of We Episode 52: Why You Want A Secure Functioning Business PartnershipThe Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In Episode 52 of "The Art of We Podcast," Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer delve into the vital concept of secure functioning within the realm of business partnerships. Listen in to explore how secure functioning applies not only to personal relationships but also to the world of business. The key assertion is that the health, security and success of the business partnership is directly correlated with the health, security and success of the business. Secure functioning comprises three crucial phases in any relationship: feeling connected, navigating ruptures or disconnections, and actively repairing these disconnections. Krista and Will emphasize the importance of fostering trust in these three phases, which significantly reduces anxiety about the inevitable ruptures in any partnership. By actively addressing and repairing these disconnections, business partners can pave the way creating an extraordinary partnership that becomes a real competitive advantage.The episode underscores the significance of addressing personal issues and working towards personal growth within the partnership, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling, creative, and generative business partnership that has the capacity to fulfill the mission and vision for the business.. Secure functioning isn't limited to intimate relationships; it's equally essential for business partnerships aspiring to create something extraordinary.Tune in for an engaging discussion that sheds light on the principles of secure functioning and its transformative impact on business partnerships.Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Topics Covered:Why business partners and co-founders want a secure functioning relationshipHow the success of a business is intricately linked to the success of the partnershipCo-founders’ power to set the culture and maximize their contributions to the organizationHow avoiding difficult conversations can lead to diverting attention from creative tasks to mundane onesThe importance of open communication and clearing the air to reinvigorate creativity and possibilities within the businessResources Mentioned: The Art of We Episode 51: Secure Attachement Vs Secure Functioning In Adult Relationships The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

Welcome to The Art of We podcast, Episode 51, where we delve into the intricacies of adult relationships, exploring the concept of attachment styles and adult functioning. Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer, your hosts, embark on a journey to clarify these terms and provide valuable insights to help you navigate your relationships.Attachment styles, often linked to our early childhood experiences with caregivers, can shape how we relate to others as adults. There are two primary categories: secure and insecure attachment patterns. Secure functioning, on the other hand, pertains to how adults interact with each other, emphasizing mutual exchange and collaboration.The hosts stress the importance of distinguishing between attachment and functioning, considering the unique dynamics of adult partnerships. They aim to cultivate secure functioning in their relationships, focusing on their ability to handle ruptures and challenges.For those coming from families with insecure attachment styles, the path to secure functioning requires work. It's a continuous journey of self-improvement, akin to building and maintaining a strong, healthy body.Krista and Will invite listeners to assess how they function in their relationships, whether they compromise their integrity for connection or remain isolated in their quest to stay true to themselves. They challenge the idea that connection and authenticity are mutually exclusive, urging individuals to explore the possibility of fostering both simultaneously. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Topics Covered:Krista and Will’s definition of attachment vs adult functioningHow attachment patterns become a template for future relationships(In)secure functioning in adult relationships vs. (In)secure attachment infant-caregiver relationships How our vows support our level of secure functioning How to become stronger at secure functioning with your partnerExamples of the secure functioning process Resources Mentioned: More information about Stan TatkinThe Art of We Episode 34: Attachment Styles: A Path To Wholeness In Relationship - Part 1 (Island) The Art of We Episode 35: Attachment Styles: A Path To Wholeness In Relationship - Part 2 (Wave) The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

Welcome to episode 50! In line with Krista turning 50 next year, we are exploring divergent perspectives around big life experiences, such as aging, and the importance of these conversations in order to stay deeply connected and aligned as a couple.  Using Peter Attia’s work to guide our exploration of health, we share the conscious and subconscious perspectives that we hold onto as we age. Krista illustrates how being inspired by Will’s commitment to health has revealed potential discrepancies about how we hold aging and what that can indicate for the future of our “We.” Unaddressed divergent perspectives can create undesired misalignments in relationships. Whether it’s about aging, health, growth, or other significant life topics, if we are not proactively talking about how our views differ, we risk waking up one day realizing how far apart we are without knowing it.  We explore what happens when values shift for partners over time and how to respond, and how explicit agreements can help keep us attuned and aligned over time. Plus, we share steps to help initiate a caring conversation with a partner around important areas of life where you recognize there might be differing perspectives. Our invitation for you this week is to discover how you and your partner relate to aging and entering the second half of your lives. Do you see it as a slow decline, or do you view aging as a process that brings more possibility and generativity? We want to hear from you. Reach out and let us know your thoughts on kristavanderveer.com Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Topics Covered:Addressing divergent perspectives when it comes to aging Peter Attia’s optimization of healthKrista and Will’s views around actions that impact future health and thus their WeHow 2 of our vows bring us from “divergent” in our views to alignedThe psychological toggle between playing offense vs. defense in life   Will shares an example of how values changed with a previous partner Examples for how partners can approach difficult conversations Resources Mentioned: The Drive podcast by Peter AttiaOutlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter AttiaPeter Attia’s website Dan Go on TwitterThe Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship AgreementsGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. 

Something that we continue to learn about trips spent away from the other partner is how to stay connected and improve transitions. In line with this episode, Krista is hosting solo (while Will is traveling) and explores what she and Will are learning about each other when time is spent apart, and how to really care for each other when they come back together to avoid potential rupture. Krista shares three agreements she and Will have created for comings & goings (shorter travel) and longer forms of separation to help them stay connected, secure, and present in both their relationship and individual lives. Forming specific agreements is in effort to keep everyone feeling safe and secure — for Krista and Will, this looks like contact at the beginning and end of the day, communication about anything that could impact the relationship, and calling each other when one person is in extra need. Krista also illustrates an example of a potential rupture she and Will had when coming back together, and how assumptions and expectations can take a conversation’s place. Finding ways to care more deeply and carefully for each other is a massive developmental path, but there are so many opportunities through the process to grow individually and together. Our invitation for you this week is to reflect to see what works really well for your relationship, and what doesn’t. Do you feel secure in the relationship when one partner leaves, or do insecurities and concerns come up? Reach out and let us know, we’d love to hear from you. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Topics Covered:Krista shares a communication tool can help couples stay connected How to stay connected for both presence in the moment and consideration for the other Agreement #1: Contact at the beginning and end of the dayAgreement #2: Communication about anything that could impact the relationshipAgreement #3: Calling the other if someone is highly dysregulated or potentially unsafeAn example of potential rupture when coming back togetherKrista unveils what the shadow at her door was Resources Mentioned: VoxerThe Art Of We Weekly NewsletterGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of death at 5:41–8:09This is a special edition podcast episode: Eight years ago — on the exact day we recorded this episode — Krista’s previous partner to Will suddenly died. While we tend to think about loss and grief as negative experiences, we don’t always think about the richness or gifts that can be relieved through the process. In this episode, we explore Krista’s loss and lessons from eight years of distance, but also, how grief can serve as an unexpected doorway to our next greatest calling. Krista shares how a deep loss and her dark night of the soul triggered years of healing and processing, but also gave her profound insight to stand for something she really wanted, and an uncanny commitment to co-create it in this lifetime: her extraordinary marriage with Will.Our vulnerable share comes from the belief that when we have the right support to process and to heal, our losses can ultimately lead us to important life lessons that we potentially otherwise wouldn't learn. However in order to find the “gold” we have to move through the hard feelings to get to the gold. Our invitation for you this week is to reflect deeply and hold your losses. Are there places where you can learn and grow from the hardest moments that you've been through? Please share any findings with us, we’d love to hear from you.Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. Topics Covered:Krista reflects on the eight-year journey around grief, loss, and the challenge of being human Krista shares context around her past relationship and her former partner’s deathThe complexity of questioning our actions and finding a reframe for overtaking responsibility Krista shares a lingering conversation and how it allowed her to examine moments How Krista’s loss helped create a shift around relationship from the “we” perspectiveThe gift of trusting loss and the value of things not always working out the way we wantWhy standing up for something you want is a daily, committed experienceResources Mentioned: The Art Of We Weekly NewsletterGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.