How To Be Sad with Helen Russell

Dr Xand van Tulleken is a much-loved medic, broadcaster and someone with first hand experience of the impact of covid 19. In spring 2020 Xand contracted Covid while preparing to film a documentary about the virus with his twin, Dr Chris van Tulleken. Xand isolated at home for two weeks but continued to experience strange symptoms, including heart palpitations. When these worsened he rushed to University College Hospital, where his twin was working on a Covid ward, and had to have his heart ‘shocked’ back into a normal rhythm with an electric current. Xand talks about his experience of going so publicly from presenter to patient.   He’s also someone who has witnessed more than his fair share of sadness on a global scale, having worked during the genocide in Darfur and in various humanitarian crises all over the world. So here, we talk about all he’s learned to date and how he copes now. Xand and Helen discus: Sadness and the medical profession Watching your heart stop on national TV The isolation and loneliness of covid Working in disaster zones Getting teary and talking about feelings when it’s not your MO How understanding our body helps (and how, some days, it doesn’t) The vagus nerve and why ‘what happens in vagus doesn’t stay in vagus’ How to sneeze paint out of your nose (you’re welcome) Missing someone so hard it hurts Why we all need ‘an emotional support dog’ Love, loss and why heartache isn’t the worst thing in the world Follow Xand @xandvt on Twitter or @avantulleken on Instagram Follow Helen on social media @MsHelenRussell How To Be Sad, the book, is out now. Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.

Rosie Green is an award winning journalist and columnist who’s spent 20 writing about beauty, fashion, spas and health - as well as interviewing and styling countless celebrities.  But she was blindsided when her marriage of 26 years broke down. Nothing prepared her for hitting what Rosie calls ‘rock bottom’  - nor for the response she got when she wrote about her breakup, and the devastation and heartache it left in it’s wake. She talks honestly and openly about how she managed to move forward - about the experts, books and advice that can help anyone who’s experienced a split to feel better and less alone. Her mission now, she says, is to share: “everything you need to create a truly arse-kicking plan b.” Here, Rosie and Helen talk about: ‘Missing a pride chip’ Losing our gut instinct and how to get it back Gaslighting, abandonment, and history repeating itself Antidepressants and rebuilding a life How as journalists we get to ask the burning questions Tackling the ‘jobs laced with hurt’ post heartbreak Being brave (and how we’re all braver with a good ‘team’) How calm seas do not a good sailor make In praise of having a wild time in our 20s You can find Rosie on Instagram @lifesrosie or on Twitter @RosieGreenBQ and her book, How To Heal a Broken Heart is out now. Follow Helen on social media @MsHelenRussell How To Be Sad, the book, is out now. Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.  

This week, we have our first mother daughter guests on the show. I’m honoured to be joined by Mungi Ngomane, human rights activist, the granddaughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and author of Everyday Ubuntu - the book inspired by the African philosophy and way of life that counts Meghan Markle and Prince Harry among its fans. And with Mungi today is….her mum! Reverend Nontombi Naomi Tutu is a priest and social justice activist.  Growing up ‘the daughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu’ offered her opportunities as well as challenges. Not least, the call to ministry – something she resisted until she was finally ordained in her 50s.  Now works tirelessly both in her own community and for the advancement of women and girls globally. Both women are shining examples of what can happen when we live by the principles of Ubuntu – the South African philosophy of ‘I am because you are’. Here, Naomi, Mungi and Helen talk about: -       Naomi’s experience of growing up in South Africa during apartheid -       Growing up an activist and having a sense of duty -       Getting all of us to have difficult conversations -       Telling the story as part of the healing process -       Why ‘boundaries’ are the ultimate in self-care -       How community is everything -       Faith (spoiler alert: mother and daughter have very different views) -       Why Midsomer Murders and red wine can both help us to be sad, well Find out more about Mungi on Instagram @mungi.ngomane or on Twitter @EverydayUbuntu and you can read more about Everyday Ubuntu here. Follow Helen on social media @MsHelenRussell How To Be Sad, the book, is out now. Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.

Holly Tucker MBE is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, and UK Ambassador for Creative Small Businesses. She’s the founder of notonthehighstreet.com and Holly & Co, a small business advice and inspiration platform and she’s also a podcaster and co-author of two best-selling business books as well as the brand new Do What You Love. Holly is a famously positive, colourful, fabulous force of nature, but life wasn’t always so sunny - and a future in business was far from a shoo-in. She got an E in business studies at school, was divorced aged 23, battled a brain tumour, endured a near break down, and has found herself on the brink financially more than once. But now, Holly says: ‘these moments have taught me everything - and I’m sure that my future is built on the scaffolding of these failures.’ In this episode, Holly and Helen talk about: ‘Hurricaine Holly’ and the highs and lows of living at full pelt Divorce and a brain tumour diagnosis in her 20s Building a different relationship the next time around How a vegetable wreath saved her life Parenting and guilt Burnout versus the philosophy of Francis Bacon Pulling on the handbrake Trying to smell the roses (and go to Ibiza) Scars, vulnerability and the upside of imposter syndrome Why financial education is a feminist issue   Follow Holly on Instagram @hollytucker, on Twitter @notonthehighst or Facebook @hollytuckerandco and find out more about Do What You Love Follow Helen on social media @MsHelenRussell How To Be Sad, the book, is out now. Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.

Steph Douglas is a businesswoman, mother of three, wife of Doug, and founder of the thoughtful gift company she started after realising that sometimes - when we’re in need of a pick me up - we might not want another thing we have to look after.   Steph has a dedicated Instagram following thanks to hilarious and occasionally heart-breaking posts about family life, her husband’s cancer treatment and the strains of running a business.  She’s a fellow firm believer that being more honest and vulnerable makes things better for everyone and says: ‘As hard and lonely as it has been at times, I’ve slowly realised there’s nothing unique about my experience. It only takes a few random conversations … and you quickly find that most of us feel the same.’   In this episode, Steph and Helen talk about: Cancer diagnosis and treatment So called body positivity movement and eating disorders The three day cycle Cancer diagnosis and treatment Parenthood Work stress and burnout The struggle to look after our mental health Redirecting our wasted capacity   Trigger: eating disorders, cancer Find out more about Steph on her blog Sisterhood (And All That) at Don’t Buy Her Flowers or follow Steph on Instagram @steph_dontbuyherflowers Follow Helen on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook @MsHelenRussell Read more about Helen’s new book, How To Be Sad at Waterstones, Amazon or Apple. Get in touch with the show at howtobesadpodcast@gmail.com Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.  

Yomi Adegoke is an award-winning journalist; columnist for Vogue and The Guardian; and bestselling author of Slay In Your Lane: The Black Girl Bible - written with her best friend, Elizabeth Uviebinené, based on interviews with 39 successful Black British women, packed full of data, advice and inspiration. In 2020 Yomi and Elizabeth published Loud Black Girls - an anthology of Black British writing. As someone who has consistently written about race and racism, Yomi is a guiding voice for many young Black women. She’s also a source of inspiration, clarity and integrity for everyone else. In this episode, Yomi talks to Helen about: Painting, hobbies and culture as cure How being sad and expressing grief can be political Racism, injustice and why diversity within diversity matters The perils of performing our emotions online Homesickness, class and family ties Experiencing depression and advice to her younger self   Find out more about Slay In Your Lane at www.slayinyourlane.com and follow Yomi on Twitter @yomiadegoke, on Instagram @yomi.adegoke or on Facebook @YomiAdegokeWriter  Follow Helen on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook @MsHelenRussell Read more about Helen’s new book, How To Be Sad at Waterstones, Amazon or Apple. Get in touch with the show at howtobesadpodcast@gmail.com Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.

Helen Thorn is an award winning stand-up comedian, writer and podcaster – one-half of comedy double act Scummy Mummies and co-host of the UK’s number one parenting podcast as well as the body positivity podcast, Fat Lot Of Good.   Here, Helen talks about her marriage ending in lockdown, the shock of the loss, the fallout and its impact on her family. This is a surprisingly upbeat episode and I promise you, it’s impossible not to feel better after talking to Helen.   In this episode, the Helens chat about: Going through a divorce Reimagining your future What helps …what doesn’t How to be sad, when you’re usually ‘the happy person’ In defence of humour as a defence mechanism Why Helen would much rather make 10 lasagnes than receive one The power of Tina Arena’s “Chains” as a sad-soundtrack …and the wisdom of Unikitty   (Sidebar: Helen R misquotes Nora Ephron at one point – for which she apologises profusely. OF COURSE, Queen Nora ACTUALLY wrote ‘everything is copy’ not ‘content’. Helen R has clearly been on social media too much this week…)   Follow Helen Thorn on Instagram @helenwearsasize18. Find out more about the Scummy Mummies at www.scummymummies.com and follow them on Twitter and Instagram @scummymummies or Facebook @scummymummiespodcast Follow Helen on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook @MsHelenRussell Read more about Helen’s new book, How To Be Sad at Waterstones, Amazon or Apple. Get in touch with the show at howtobesadpodcast@gmail.com Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.

Cathy Rentzenbrink is a bestselling author, former editor at The Bookseller magazine and head of Quick Reads – short books to encourage adults who may not be readers. Because as Cathy believes: ‘After the wheel, the book must be one of the great inventions' since books are ‘a life raft’ - something Cathy has needed, more than once.   When she was 17, her younger brother was hit by a car. After the accident, he was in a so-called permanent vegetative state and the family had to endure eight years before they could have a funeral and fully grieve.   In this episode, Cathy talks to Helen about: Growing up with grief Sibling survivors The experience of panic attacks, anxiety and depression How therapy and EMDR can help Divorce and doing things differently in relationships Parenting and how to do it (neither of us have quite figured this out yet) Keeping going Practical advice for sad times …and ways to make life meaningful.   Trigger: bereavement, assisted dying   Find out more about Cathy’s work at https://cathyreadsbooks.com/ and follow Cathy on Twitter and Instagram @CatRentzenbrink or Facebook. Cathy’s debut novel, Everyone Is Still Alive, is out in July. Follow Helen on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook @MsHelenRussell Read more about Helen’s new book, How To Be Sad at Waterstones, Amazon or Apple. Get in touch with the show at howtobesadpodcast@gmail.com Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.

Tech entrepreneur Mo Gawdat discusses his algorithm for happiness, the difference between sadness and unhappiness, and the connection between technology and unhappiness. He explores the usefulness of fear and loneliness, and the lessons other cultures can teach us about sadness. Mo also talks about the power of unconditional love and shares his belief that 'life is a game - we just have to play it'.

Helen Russell, author of How to be Sad, discusses the importance of recognizing and embracing sadness. She explores the benefits of sadness, the impact of the pandemic on mental health, and the significance of accepting negative emotions. The podcast also covers topics such as midlife crisis, personal growth through sadness, and the impact of illness and loss on children.