Helen Russell, author of How to be Sad, discusses the importance of recognizing and embracing sadness. She explores the benefits of sadness, the impact of the pandemic on mental health, and the significance of accepting negative emotions. The podcast also covers topics such as midlife crisis, personal growth through sadness, and the impact of illness and loss on children.
Suppressing sadness can lead to anxiety, depressive thoughts, and long-term mental health issues.
By embracing sadness, we open ourselves up to the potential for growth and self-discovery.
Deep dives
The Importance of Allowing Sadness
Sadness is a natural and necessary emotional response to loss, pain, and disappointment. Many people in today's happiness-obsessed culture are often phobic about feeling sad and try to avoid it. However, suppressing negative emotions only leads to more difficulties. It is crucial to recognize and accept sadness as a normal part of life. Sadness serves a purpose by signaling that something is wrong and requiring our attention. Research shows that allowing temporary sadness can enhance attention to detail, increase perseverance, promote generosity, and foster gratitude. By learning to embrace sadness, we can have a healthier and more balanced emotional experience.
The Consequences of Avoiding Sadness
Society's current approach to so-called negative emotions, including sadness, is not effective. Many people confuse sadness with depression, seeking constant happiness while dismissing any signs of sadness. This avoidance of sadness can backfire, leading to anxiety, depressive thoughts, and symptoms. Suppressing sad thoughts and feelings only intensifies the sadness. Studies have shown that accepting and processing sadness is crucial for emotional well-being. By refusing to acknowledge and experience sadness, we limit our capacity for growth and put ourselves at risk of long-term mental health issues.
The Role of Sadness in Personal Growth
Sadness serves as a catalyst for personal growth and change. Scholars, like philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, argue that sadness and despair are necessary for personal development. By allowing ourselves to experience sadness, grief, and melancholy, we are better able to navigate life's challenges and reflect on our choices and values. Sadness compels us to pause, reconsider, and make necessary changes. Ignoring or suppressing sadness can leave us feeling stuck or disconnected, preventing us from fully engaging in life. By embracing sadness, we open ourselves up to the potential for growth and self-discovery.
The Need for Society to Acknowledge Sadness
In today's fast-paced and achievement-oriented society, there is a need to normalize and openly talk about sadness. Many cultures, particularly in the West, tend to prioritize happiness and avoid discussing negative emotions. However, recognizing and accepting sadness as a valid and valuable emotion is crucial for individual and collective well-being. Suppressing sadness leads to physical and psychological repercussions. By fostering a culture that acknowledges and supports sadness, we can create a space for healing, empathy, and meaningful connections. It is time for society to embrace sadness and provide the necessary tools to navigate and process this universal human experience.
Today is publication day for Helen’s new book How to be Sad. As a special thank you to listeners of the podcast we are delighted to share this exclusive extract from the audiobook. We will be back with a new episode of How to Be Sad with Helen Russell next week.
We live in an age when reality TV shows climax in a tearful finale. But feeling sad – genuinely sad – is still taboo. Yet, sadness happens to us all, sometimes in heartbreakingly awful ways. If we don’t know how to be sad, it can be isolating for those experiencing it and baffling for those trying to help others through dark times.
Today, most of us know intellectually that ‘sad’ is normal. But we’re not always brilliant at allowing for it, in practice. Sadness is going to happen, so we might as well know how to ‘do it’ right. And it’s time to start facing our problems and talking about them. Positive psychology may have become more accepted in mainstream culture, but rates of depression have continued to rise.
We’re trying so hard to be happy. But studies show that we could all benefit from learning the art of sadness and how to handle it, well.
We cannot avoid sadness so we might as well learn to handle it. Helen Russell, while researching two previous books on happiness, found that today most of us are terrified of sadness. Many of us are so phobic to averse to negative emotions that we don’t recognise them.
Follow Helen on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook @MsHelenRussell
Read more about Helen’s new book, How To Be Sad at Waterstones,Amazon or Apple.
Get in touch with the show at howtobesadpodcast@gmail.com
Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.
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