Tech entrepreneur Mo Gawdat discusses his algorithm for happiness, the difference between sadness and unhappiness, and the connection between technology and unhappiness. He explores the usefulness of fear and loneliness, and the lessons other cultures can teach us about sadness. Mo also talks about the power of unconditional love and shares his belief that 'life is a game - we just have to play it'.
Loss is an integral part of life, constantly present and intertwined with our experiences.
Sadness and unhappiness are distinct emotional experiences.
Committed acceptance allows us to channel our emotions into positive energy and purpose.
Deep dives
Loss as a Part of Life
Loss is an integral part of life, constantly present and intertwined with our experiences. We often forget that gaining something requires the loss of something else. Loss is not limited to major events like death; it occurs in every moment as we let go of certain things while gaining others. By acknowledging the transient nature of life and embracing the concept of loss, we can develop a different perspective and learn to navigate through it.
Differentiating Sadness and Unhappiness
Sadness and unhappiness are distinct emotional experiences. Sadness is triggered by external events or circumstances and can encompass various negative emotions such as grief, shame, and regret. Unhappiness, on the other hand, stems from prolonged negative feelings and the repetition of unhappiness. While sadness is a natural response to certain events, unhappiness is a choice that stems from dwelling on negative thoughts and experiences. Understanding this distinction enables us to accept and experience emotions fully while actively choosing how to react and navigate through them.
Committed Acceptance and Finding Purpose
Committed acceptance is a mindset that acknowledges the reality of challenging and irreversible events, such as the loss of a loved one. When faced with such experiences, we have two choices: to allow ourselves to remain stuck in perpetual sadness or to accept the new baseline of our lives and seek ways to make it better. While the pain and sadness may never fully disappear, committed acceptance allows us to channel our emotions into positive energy and purpose. By finding meaning in our experiences and embracing the emotions that come with them, we can transform grief into a catalyst for personal growth and positive change.
The Concept of Time and Object-Subject Relationship
The podcast explores the concept of time as a four-dimensional structure called spacetime, where all of space and time exist. The speaker uses the analogy of a loaf of bread, with each slice representing an instant of time. They discuss the idea that to observe something, we need to be separate from it, and relate this to how we perceive the passage of time. The part of us that experiences the passage of time is said to be outside the physical universe, where the laws of time exist.
Happiness and Expectations
The podcast delves into the idea that happiness is not determined by what life gives us, but by how our perceptions of events compare to our expectations. The speaker explains that happiness is the result of the comparison between what life gives us and what we want life to be. They emphasize the importance of setting realistic expectations and embracing the idea that life is unpredictable. Unhappiness is viewed as a survival mechanism, an alarm that alerts us to evaluate and take action in challenging situations. The speaker suggests that accepting and reacting to unhappiness can lead to personal growth.
Mo Gawdat of Solve For Happy is a tech entrepreneur, engineer, and former chief business officer for Google X - the “moonshot” factory tackling the world’s toughest problems in innovative ways.
Mo reached a place early in life where he was extremely successful, yet deeply unhappy. He set about solving this, developing an equation for happiness. But this was put to the ultimate test in 2014 when Mo’s beloved son Ali died unexpectedly. During the grief that followed, Mo channelled his heartbreak in an unlikely way – by writing about his happy-algorithm.
Here, Mo talks to Helen about:
How an algorithm for happiness helped him handle his sadness
Why being happy doesn’t mean never experiencing pain – and loss is part of life
Differentiating between ‘sadness’ and ‘unhappiness’
The usefulness of fear and loneliness
How everything is good and bad
What other cultures can teach us about sadness
The link between technology and unhappiness
The power of unconditional love
…and why ‘life is a game – we just have to play it’.
Trigger: bereavement
(Sidebar: if it sounds as though Helen’s choking up at one point, that’s because she is. Speaking to Mo can do that, in a good way. Goal for 2021: make it through a chat with Mo without welling up…)
