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Relating to Self

Latest episodes

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Jun 24, 2021 • 51min

Relating to Self - Matteo

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives. For Matteo, relating to self brings a sense that there is something other than himself that he is relating to, or rather, different parts of him that relate to each other in different ways. There's him and then there's the judgement or assessment of him. Our guest goes on to talk about the concept of shadow work - there are parts of ourselves that because of being denied expression in a natural way, find a way to manifest themselves in a destructive manner. People mistakenly think that they can get rid of these parts that they don't like. Our guest points out that this is more likely to be possible if we first accept them and bring them to light. For Matteo, martial arts and track and field have been a way to bring out his aggression in a healthy and controlled way. He suspects that our unwillingness to change the parts of us that don't serve us is connected to a fear of ego death. Or losing the story that we have about ourselves. "I think some sense of physical strength and power can support a little bit more safety even in adventuring in a space when it feels unsafe psychologically." "You will change, your relationship will change as a result. And not everybody will stay. You have to be ready for that if you're gonna learn how to do this well." Matteo is a coach who trains others to be coaches. He says that the skillset of a coach helps people have a more in-depth understanding of the underlying dynamics between people. You can connect with our guest on LinkedIn at https://uk.linkedin.com/in/matteo-trevisan-coach?trk=people-guest_people_search-card You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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Jun 17, 2021 • 48min

Relating to Self - Laura

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives. Laura sees a practice of relating to self as essential. She wishes more space was dedicated to it. Not just physical but also through people who are modeling it and creating a space for others to engage in that as well. Our guest has an avid inner critic in two aspects. One is about how she thinks about productivity. The other is concerned with how people perceive her when she is prioritizing herself. Her way of dealing with this is to step back and name the stories that the critic tells her. Vocalize them in order for them to make sense to her. She steps back from what she has created and tries to see it through the ambiguous eyes of a stranger. Through this she often sees things that she subconsciously put in the work. Laura shares her inner world through images and poetic words at @lauracincera_ on Instagram and @lauracincera on Twitter. And you can also find her on Medium at https://medium.com/@lauracincera You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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Jun 10, 2021 • 52min

Relating to Self - Nissa

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives. For Nissa, relating to self is on a deeper level than self-love. It is the ability to see and recognize who you are and where you are and to fully bring compassion and love to that. Self-love can overlook the reality. But relating to self pushes you to accept it and then love yourself. Joachim adds that relating to self happens even when you don't love yourself. Our guest used to have a very rigid understanding of meditation, where you sit down with your legs crossed and that would be the only way. But over time she got to a point where she sees life itself as a meditation. She believes that any moment offers an opportunity to begin again. Both discuss how when making a frequent small mistake, some people label themselves as a certain thing that makes that mistake. But that only gets them to identify as that thing and perpetuates the pattern. There is maybe this idea that "If I say it first, then they can't say it", that they will know we're aware of it and possibly working on it. But in labeling ourselves a certain way is accepting that this is how we are and that we can't be changed. Nissa is working on a project called Sōsai, which is the Japanese word for counterbalance. The handle on Instagram is @sosaiorg and they are also on substack.com under the same name. You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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Jun 3, 2021 • 40min

Relating to Self - Leah

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.    "Life is a journey of deepening your relationship to self. We can go through tough times or good times, or easy times... but things become so much easier to navigate when you have a solid relationship with yourself." This is how Leah defines relating to self. She believes that everything we go through in life deepens our relationship to ourselves. Tough times present us with opportunities to strengthen the bond we have with ourselves and understand it better.    Leah believes that trust and love are core values that help us alleviate tension we might have within ourselves. It is important to trust ourselves so that we know whatever life throws at us, we can handle it. Maybe it won't turn out for the best, but we will be able to endure it.   We don't have much control over things, Leah believes. But what we do have control over is how we choose to react. Realizing things are your of your control is scary but freeing as well. When things do happen, the bigger our reaction to them, the more important they are to us.   For Leah unconditional love for yourself means being there through good and bad times. Joachim ads that for himself this love is one that doesn't ask for anything. A simple desire that somebody lives a wonderful life. And how you relate to other people is determined by how you relate yourself.    You can find Leah on a number of social media with the handle @leahebae. She is most active on Instagram.   You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx  If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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May 27, 2021 • 47min

Relating to Self - Rebecca

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.    "I see relating to self as being very grounded in understanding the self." At first, Rebecca's relationship with herself was about understanding, then fixing herself. It has now evolved to also be about acceptance. She carefully picks when to support herself and when to challenge herself to become better. "The choices that I see as worthwhile are the ones that require me to grow and that will challenge me and force me to step into my higher self and overcome challenges." she adds. We have a choice when we notice something about us that is in our way. We can either work on it or we can accept it as it is.   Rebecca and Joachim also discuss triggers. And how we have options there as well. They agree that when we are triggered we can either remove ourselves from the situation, maybe even avoid it in the first place, or we can choose to endure it so that we grow through the challenge. Rebecca keeps a trigger journal in which she details what triggered her. After a triggering situation has fully passed, she thinks about how she would like things to be.   The two discuss trust and how we need to trust ourselves in order to be trustworthy. We can learn to trust ourselves by being consistent with our practices. If we make plans about practices we do and then we blow them, we won't trust ourselves and that will result in negative feelings towards ourselves.   Rebecca is on Instagram where she will be posting updates on a book she is writing: https://www.instagram.com/therelationshipdesigner/?hl=bg You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx  If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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May 20, 2021 • 38min

Relating to Self - Songya

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.    "In order for me to really know who I am, there's an element of myself that needs to relate to others." Songya began her journey of relating by thinking about how kind and compassionate she is toward others. This then turned into an exploration of how kind and compassionate she is toward herself.    For Songya, relating to herself is intertwined with how she is perceived by those around her. She lets their perception of her guide her own. In all her connections, she strives to be a person one can be fully themselves with. And much like the kindness and compassion, she turned this back to herself, asking how much she allows herself to be authentic.  Both Songya and Joachim agree that we cannot focus solely on self-love as this neglects parts of ourselves that still require some work.  Being authentic means acknowledging your shortcomings and, Songya points out, if we try to suppress and hide them, they find a way to express themselves in negative ways.   Our guest has a website where you can learn more about leadership and executive coaching: http://songyakesler.com/  Songya would like to leave us with the following sentiment: Learning to express our emotions (good, bad, and ugly) in a healthy way is a giant leap towards cultivating self-love because it requires us to accept how we are feeling and to trust ourselves enough to let it out. Trust and acceptance (of self and others) are paths to love. You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx  If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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May 13, 2021 • 45min

Relating to Self - Galy

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.    "For me, relating to self is attending to the needs of the whole body" says Galy. In this talk we learn of the many ways she relates to herself. She goes through what she does in order to feel comfortable in her own skin. That might sometimes takes a toll on her. But not because she does it. Sometimes her reasoning is not aligned with self-love.     Galy has a busy schedule of relating to self. She would like to share some of her methods with you. She recommends Kyle's website for yearly reflection deep dive: https://whichritual.com/2020-2021-ultimate-reflection-integration-guide and Michael Pollan's book: https://michaelpollan.com/books/how-to-change-your-mind/ Then she points to a Gratitude journal she uses and tips us that it also has a nice newsletter on self-care: https://www.intelligentchange.com/products/the-five-minute-journal Galy's field of work leads her to be a proponent of psychedelics as a means to aid mental health, especially in terminally ill cancer patients. She points us to the most prominent non-profit for psychedelics - MAPS: https://maps.org/ As well as the company she works for: https://www.atai.life/ Finally she wishes to bring light again to Haneen's Sex Homework Society and recommends the handbook, as well as the course itself: https://sexhomeworksociety.com/ You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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May 6, 2021 • 50min

Relating to Self - Joshua

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.    Joshua does some things in a different and peculiar way. When he craves change, he focuses on changing his environment instead of his mindset. He acts chaotically when the world is stable. Then he settles down when everything is chaotic. Complement this talk with Joshua's essays at bit.ly/jkessays  You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx  If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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Apr 29, 2021 • 54min

Relating to Self - Asya

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.   "How do I relate to myself in this moment?" asks Asya in the beginning of this colorful talk. She then goes on to describe relating to self as not linear - something we keep coming back to. Together with Joachim they explore the practices each needs in order to access their inner voice.   The conversation is steered a lot toward dancing. From a way to unearth tensions in your body to accessing new things within your mind. For Asya, even the self is not still. It changes, much like the movements of a dance, when we imagine, create and build.   Our guest has an advice to offer - any time there's a question in your mind, know that you already have the answer within yourself, just tune in and listen.   Design your own local or international solo journey with Asya! Program begins late May: Asyaazar.com/solojourney And follow her on Insta: @asyaazar You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx  If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
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Apr 22, 2021 • 44min

Relating to Self - Eagan

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.    "Maybe the conversation starts for me: who is that voice, is there value there, should I take that seriously?" begins Eagan in a talk about our inner critics and where they come from. How do we know weather we can trust ourselves? And which parts of ourselves can we trust? "I think if you're living perfectly rationally but you're out of alignment with your gut, you're not on a good path and I think that will catch up with you."   Eagan leaves us with an advice in support of morning routines: Don't wake up and go right into whatever your duties are. Spend some time to think and get yourself right and then go into that world of duties.   Another thing Eagan recommends is this productivity course: https://ebenpagantraining.com/product/wake-up-productive/    You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

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