Reimagining Love

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.Relevant links:Access this episode's companion worksheet hereReimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?"Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or DeceitBrené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to ShameBuilding Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph BurgoOrder Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Ten years after "conscious uncoupling" first entered the public lexicon, Katherine Woodward Thomas joins Reimagining Love to discuss her powerful rebrand of what's possible after a breakup or divorce. Through sharing her story and dissecting the cultural myths that cause us to view divorce as a failure, Katherine encourages us to bring a sense of generosity and intentionality to the process so that we can transform our relationships with our former partner, ourselves, and our futures.Relevant links:Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward ThomasCalling in the One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life (Revised) by Katherine Woodward ThomasConnect with Katherine online and on InstagramMarriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie CoontzThe Good Divorce by Constance AhronsUncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships by Diane VaughanOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Esther Boykin joins Dr. Alexandra for an expansive conversation around the intersection of mental health and our careers. Esther highlights the difference between self-care and self-compassion, and points us towards using self-compassion as an essential tool for improving both our personal and work lives. When we bring self-compassion to our careers, we prevent burnout by opening up a deeper connection to our common humanity. Together, Esther and Dr. Alexandra then respond to a listener who thinks her relationship is being held back by her partner's ambition.Relevant links:Connect with Esther online and on InstagramLearn more about Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word and the Compassion CollectiveWho Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork by Dan SullivanReimagining Love episode: "Talking about the Future: Navigating a Pace Discrepancy"Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

What does it feel like to be in a securely attached relationship? Renowned relationship expert and therapist Julie Menanno joins Reimagining Love to illuminate what we can learn from examining secure attachments. Together with Dr. Alexandra, Julie help anxious and avoidant partners understand each other by guiding us through how different attachment styles show up in tender moments. Ultimately, Julie reminds us that the purpose of attachment work is to help us heal from our past unmet needs so that we can form secure attachments today.Relevant links:Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Julie MenannoConnect with Julie online and on InstagramOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Deceit, infidelity, and betrayal profoundly shake our inner worlds. If you're struggling to heal from relational harm, you may be endlessly ruminating on the past and wondering why you can't just let it go. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra breaks down the process of forgiveness and provides seven reasons why you can’t get over it. Relevant links:Access this episode's companion worksheet hereDr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or DeceitReimagining Love episode: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want by Dr. Alexandra SolomonSubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question 

What are trauma bonds and how can we heal from them? Dr. Laura Copley joins the podcast to dive into the sticky dynamics of unhealthy, trauma-bonded relationships. Drawing from personal experiences and her work as a relationship trauma expert, Dr. Laura gives us insight into what she calls "the hero's journey" — a transformative path towards recognizing our origin stories, attachment wounds, and current relationship dynamics so that we can transcend our trauma and form authentic connections.Relevant links: Loving You Is Hurting Me: A New Approach to Healing Trauma Bonds and Creating Authentic Connection by Dr. Laura Copley Learn more about Dr. Laura's work online and on Instagram Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question 

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh discusses the six key ingredients for successful relationships, focusing on reciprocity and intentionality over perfection. She emphasizes the importance of mutual attraction, trust, respect, loving behaviors, compassion, and shared vision in building thriving relationships. Dr. Sara encourages moving beyond the myth of finding a perfect mate and instead creating something special together.

Thinking about re-entering the dating scene after a breakup or loss? How can you tell if you're truly ready to get back out there? In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra provides five Relational Self-Awareness-informed indicators that you can use to help you discern whether you’re ready to date again.Relevant links:Access this episode's companion worksheet hereListen to Reimagining Love's "Guidance for the Newly Single" episodeLearn more about Relational Self-Awareness with Dr. Alexandra's books, Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy BackOrder Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

In this in-depth solo episode, Dr. Alexandra explains the six common roles we played in our original family systems. Way before we ever were involved in a romantic relationship, we were part of a family system, and that system, for better or for worse, shaped our ideas about who we can and cannot be. Through understanding our past, we can see how these roles continue to show up in our relationships today and use that knowledge as a powerful Relational Self-Awareness tool.Relevant links:Take the Family of Origin Roles QuizReimagining Love: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"Dr. Alexandra's Psychotherapy Networker ArticleOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Emily Nagoski joins Reimagining Love for a vulnerable and expansive conversation about nurturing lasting sexual connections in long-term partnerships. As an award-winning sex educator and author, Emily combines groundbreaking research, sex education, and stress education to expand our ideas about women's sexuality. In her new book, Come Together, Emily explores how long-term couples maintain sexual connection over time. Together, Emily and Dr. Alexandra uncover the importance of moving away from the "shoulds" in our sex lives and towards discovering more confidence and joy with our partners.Relevant links:Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections by Emily NagoskiDates for Emily's upcoming book tourLearn more about Emily's work online and on InstagramOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question