How Not To Suck At Divorce
Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support—not drama, shame, or sugarcoating.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Aug 17, 2023 • 49min
76. Your Burning Divorce Questions: Answered!
You've got questions and we've (err, Morgan) has answers! We're covering supervised visits, attorneys not prioizing your case, nesting, mediation, and how to talk to your kids, and feeling like an a$$hole for wanting to leave an unhappy marriage but not neccassrily a "bad" marriage... To recap one of the most common questions, which has to do with wanting a clear game plan from your attorney, follow these steps: 1) Ask your attorney for a face to face or at least a phone call to discuss the PLAN 2) At the end of the meeting, ask for a recap with next steps3) Ask for a realistic timeline and the areas where waiting for a court date/hearing back from opposing counsel could play a role into said timeline 4)Ask when you should follow up So if you've wondered "am I terrible person for wanting a divorce?" or "how can I make sure my ex doesn't get unsupervised visits with my kids?" Or if you've googled, "How can I get my divorce attorney to care about my case?" or "Should I try nesting?" then you want to listen to this episode. And remember this, whereas it's not criminal to be unhappy in your marriage, it IS criminal to REMAIN unhappy in your marriage. Look at your feelings. Look at your thoughts. Explore those. Talk to your partner, go to therapy and WORK towards happiness, whether that's getting a divorce or not. And now, a word from our sponsors: Soberlink is here to help coparents who are struggling with an alcohol dependence. It's a discreet device that can ensure that you are parenting safely. Vist:soberlink.com/notsuck And Our Family Wizard is a revolutionary coparenting app that's dedicated to making coparenting easier, no matter how hard your ex SUCKS. Visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com And join our private communites! http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com to listen to our episodes without it being downloaded to your device and http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity for support and laughs! You've got this and we've got YOU.
Aug 10, 2023 • 1h 6min
75. How Not to Suck at Refinancing Your Home with Sam Sharp
It's our freaking 75th episode!!! So let's talk about mortgages, baby! We've got Sam Sharp, celebrity mortgage broker, here to give you insider information on interest rates, credit scores..and everything you need to know regarding refinancing or getting a brand new mortgage. So if you're wondering why interest are so damn high right now, this episode is for YOU! How important is your credit score?? Well, no shocker that it's VERY important. Make sure you listen to this episode to learn what you can do to improve your score. (and did you know that a credit score for a mortgage is different from a regular credit score??) Listen to the experts, don't DIY this stuff! All of our US listeners are welcome to reach out Sam, you can find him here: http://www.samsharp.com http://www.instagram.com/samsharp_guaranteedrate Meanwhile, Andrea is OVER her fatass, her words!! But what's with our butts growing with age??? Jeez, like we don't have enough problems!! And now, a word from our sponsor: Our Family Wizard is here to help you STOP TEXTING YOUR EX. No more more fighting on the phone over money issues or parenting time problems!! Go check our Our Family Wizard! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com Join our private communites! To listen to our episodes without having them downloaded to your device, head over to patreon! http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com And come hang out with us in our free Facebook community! Get more knowledge, more insight and more laughs http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity
Aug 4, 2023 • 48min
74. The 5 Worst Mistakes I Made in my Divorce with Andrea Rappaport
Well, here the F we go. The 5 biggest mistakes I (Andrea) made during my divorce. Mistake #1: Marrying the wrong person. Ignoring ALL of the red flags. Ignoring my gut. HUGE mistake. Mistake #2: Not having the right tools to think LOGICALLY, therefore functioning from a sheer emotional place Mistake #3: Hiring the wrong attorney for my case Mistake #4: Signing a parenting agreement without consulting a child therapist Mistake #5: Not having realistic expectations This is a big episode. As uncomfortable as it is to be this vulnerable, it's more important that everyone know the mistakes that are SO easy to make that can cost you money, time with your kids, and a lot of mental sanity. One mistake that I DIDN'T make was recogizing that my mental health was suffering towards the end of the divorce and that the "juice wasn't with the squeeze" on several issues...walking away and being done CAN be right decision for many in the divorce process. However, you ALWAYS want to follow the guidance of your attorney. Which is why ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO HIRING THE RIGHT ATTORNEY FOR YOUR CASE! Don't forget, the first person to DM us from this episode gets a homemade chocolate chip banana bread (Morgan's fav) shipped right to their door!! (US and Canada listeners only!...sorry to our 1 listener in Honduras, but we still love you) Lean on us. We're here to get you through this mess. And so are our sponsors. Need help with alcohol monitoring during parenting time? Soberlink has your back. http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Want to make coparenting a whole lot easier? Check out Our Family Wizard. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com Join our private communites. If you need to listen to our episodes WITHOUT them being uploaded to your familes' icloud, join our Patreon community for private listening AND bonus episodes. http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com And please join our free support group! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity We love you guys! See you next week.
Jul 27, 2023 • 48min
73. Enforcing Boundaries with a "Narcissist"
Can you have boundaries with your narcissitic ex??? The million dollar question, right?? The answer is that boudaries live within YOU. You don't need someone else's cooperation or approval- you just need to enforce the boundaries you set (which is the hard part) So today we are chatting with Katherine McNichol, a Ontario based therapist who's here to teach us about setting and enforcing boundaries. You might know Katherine from her hilarious IG account (http://www.instagram.com/katherinemcnichol.com) ! If you haven't checked out her account yet- GO! Her memes are so damn funny. So what's the process for setting boundaries with a narc?? 1) Set the boundary by telling them "This conversation is to discuss _______________" 2) When they attempt to change the subject (even if it's by throwing a jab at your expense) you can say, "I hear the you want to discuss ________________ and we can do that at another time, but right now we are talking about ___________. 3) Set the boundary. "This conversation is to talk about ______________. If you keep bringing up ___________,I'm going to need to end this conversation." 4) When that boundary that you just set is crossed- END THE CONVERSATION. The boundary does not exisit unless you enforce it. If you're interested with working with Katherine, please visit: http://www.kiruwellness.com and remember to check out her IG page for daily tips!! And now, a word from our sponsor: If you are in need of coparenting support you NEED to check out Our Family Wizard. They are here to make even the most high conflict situations a lot easier. Visit them at: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com And remember, we have private communites for you to join! If you need to listen to our episodes privately, please check out: http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com and don't forget about our private FB community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity
Jul 20, 2023 • 57min
72. What Do You Do If Your Coparent SUCKS?!? (Expert Tips!)
Hard fact: some coparents suck. Hard truth: there IS something you can do about it. The coparenting app, Our Family Wizard, is a favorite tool for both parents and divorce professionals. Why? Becuase it offers a PLETHORA of options to help you NOT SUCK at coparenting with someone who...sucks. Now, you may be familiar with Our Family Wizard as a tool to have court monitored conversations with your high conflict coparent BUT DID YOU KNOW that: 1) Our Family Wizard is not JUST for high conflict coparents 2) There are a TON of additional features on Our Family Wizard (beyond the messaging) that will actually help you MORE than the court monitored messaging. (hint: the more you use these other features, the less you'll rely on the messaging feature!) You NEED to listen to this episode if you're stuggling with coparenting. Trust. It WILL help you. And also, if Our Family Wizard is good enough for celebrites to use (Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Kelly Clarkson, Lala Kent, Jeff Lewis...just to name a few...) then it's good enough for YOU. You're welcome. Also, don't be the a$$hole who eats onion sandwiches on a train. Especially not around Morgan. And send snacks for Andrea's son, Oliver...he's still hungry and hiding all of this food under his bed. And now, a word from our sponsor: Soberlink is here is assist families who are struggling with alcohol addicition that can be a danger during parenting time. To get help, please visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck And don't forget to join our private communites! To listen to Bonus Episodes and listen to all of shows without a record of you downloading them, go to: http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com And you're looking for a community, we've got a GREAT one for you to join! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity Coparents might not, but you don't have to suck at dealing with them. You've got this...and we've got you. -Andrea and Morgan
Jul 13, 2023 • 52min
71. How to Switch Divorce Attorneys
Not only did your marriage not work out, but now your divorce attorney isn't working out!! aaahhh!! What now?!? Well, on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce we are going to talk you through how to switch divorce attorneys, so listen up! If you're googling: I hate my divorce attorney How to not lose all of my money in my divorce? Can you switch attorneys mid divorce? How to switch divorce attorneys? You want to listen to what we have to say!! There's a checklist we are going to take you through to ensure that you know EXACTLY where you stand with your current counsel, what you SHOULD be getting from them, when to know if it's time to switch things up, and finally, HOW to do it!! To get your hands on our "Before You Swtich Attorneys" PDF, head to our IG page and visit our bio line! www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce Meanwhile, Morgan is stil being tormented by people using speaker phone in public and Andrea is losing her mind over group text messages!! And if you're stuggling with coparenting ON TOP of dealing with the headache of attorneys, take a second and visit Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard was created to help make coparenting easier- even in the most difficult cases. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com And remember, support is just a click away! Join our private groups below! http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity
Jul 6, 2023 • 1h 3min
70. Well, Sh$t, my Spouse is Gay, Now What?!? With Jessica Frew
It's the season FOUR premiere!!! We are SO excited to bring you an AMAZING season of advice, divorce tips, and of course, a lot of LAUGHS. AND...we have a brand new segment! Forget "OBSESSED", and welcome to "OVER IT", our time to share what's driving us NUTS...it's sure to bring you some much needed humor! Starting with Morgan's strong aversion to people using their speaker phone setting in public places...meanwhile, Andrea says, "bring in ON!", (just make sure your friend of family member enunciates). Today's episode highlights the story of Jessica Frew's marriage, divorce, and her BEAUTIFUL life (and relationship with her ex), post divorce. If you don't yet know her, do yourself a favor and go follow her : www.instagram.com/heyjessicafrew . Jessica is the host of the popular, Husband in Law, podcast where she, her current husband, and her ex husband tell their story. We don't want to "spill the tea" here in the shownotes, so you're going to have to listen to this episode to hear all about Jessica's experience and how she so gracefully navigated the major changes in her life AND how she helps other women do the same. Check Jessica's coaching groups out here: http://www.theboldlogic.com And, here are some shoutouts to our season 4 sponsors!! If you or your ex spouse is struggling with alcohol and you have concerns about being sober during parenting time, please visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck for $50 off a device And please, if you are navigating a high conflict divorce and need a safe and effective way to communicate with your coparent, please visit http://www.ourfamilywizard.com As always, take deep breaths. Move your body, and find a way to laugh EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY. You've got this, and we've got you. Join our FREE community : http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And to listen to our episodes PRIVATELY and get access to BONUS interviews, join us here: http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com
Jun 15, 2023 • 54min
69. Picking The RIGHT Divorce Attorney *Special Re Air*
This episode is HUGE and a MUST LISTEN if you are in the process of picking an attorney. The joke is, why do so many spend more time debating on whether they're going to swipe right of left on someone on Tinder then they do picking their divorce attorney?!?!? On this special RE AIR episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we cover what you should be asking your prospective divorce attorney and what answers give you the GREEN light to move forward and what answers are a HUGE RED FLAG!! To break it all down, we have Max Leinoff on the pod. Max is a family law attorney in Miami, Florida with Leinoff and Lemos, P.A. His firm was voted one of the Best Law Firms by U.S. News and World Report for 2021 and 2022. Max answers: What three things you must hear from your divorce attorney What should you do if your divorce lawyer disagrees with you? The importance of expressing your goals honestly with your divorce lawyer Who will you be working for when you hire an attorney? Is it a bad sign if they have other associates helping you? What questions should you ask divorce lawyers before deciding who to hire? These may surprise you. What is a no fault state when it comes to divorce? How can you work with your divorce attorney to move things along swiftly and smoothly? "When you're looking for an attorney, you don't want a yes man or a yes woman." - Max Leinoff If you're in Florida, here is where you can find Max Leinoff: Max@LLPA.com www.llpa.com (305) 661-1556 - office Also, Max shouts out his lovely wife, Katy, who is an incredibly talented, professional artist who has worked with Vans and was recenly featured on the Ralph Lauren website. You can see Katy's work on instagram @katyilana. We checked her out and now we're obsessed with her, too! To join our private community, please visit http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity or http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com And please, follow us on Instagram for more tips and divorce entertainment!! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce
Jun 8, 2023 • 43min
68. Is It My Marriage That's Making Me Miserable? *Special Re-Air* With Dr Randy Heller
You have a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, but where is it coming from? Is it work? Friends? Kids? or is it your marriage?? DON'T BLAME YOURSELF!! Listen to this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce if you're feeling miserable or just unhappy in your daily life to learn where it could be possibly be coming from. Listener fave Dr. Randy Heller is back with us today to discuss one of the most common questions we get: Is it my marriage that's making me miserable? Dr. Heller shares what people should do if they're feeling depressed, stressed and overwhelmed and an easy exercise to do to determine if it's the marriage that is the root of the problem. We also talk about how to start to feel better, regardless of the decision we make in our marriage. You can find Dr. Randy Heller here: thefamilynetwk@aol.com 646-717-6718 mycollaborativeteam.com No matter what you decide, you got this and we got you. We love hearing from you so don't be shy. Message us on IG and join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity
Jun 1, 2023 • 49min
67. FML: Will I Ever be Happy Again? With Author, Gabrielle Stone (Season 3 Finale)
You know her, you follow her, you love her, it's Gabrielle Stone joining us today on the season three finale of How Not Suck at Divorce. Gabielle has been THROUGH it when it comes to heartbreak and divorce. After discovering that her husband was having an affair with a 19 year old, she quickly filed for a divorce...but that's just where her story BEGINS. Gabrielle has experienced a lot of LIFE over the last decade. And guess what? She's HAPPY. She crawled her way through and on a life changing trip to Europe, she discovered herself. It was really important to us to offer some light at the end of the tunnel for our Season Three Finale! We really hope you enjoy this conversation with two time best selling author, and podcaster, Gabrielle Stone. To get your hands on her book, Eat, Pray #FML, head here: Eat, Pray, #FML To get your hands on her new journal, F*ck off, I'm Healing, head here: F*ck off, I'm Healing To listen to Gabielle's podcast, #FML Talk, head here: FML Talk We love you all and we want you all to know that there IS light at the end of the tunnel for you. You WILL get through this. This pain will NOT last forever. Stick with us, we'll get you through it. For more support, join our private communities: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com
