How Not To Suck At Divorce 73. Enforcing Boundaries with a "Narcissist"
Can you have boundaries with your narcissitic ex??? The million dollar question, right??
The answer is that boudaries live within YOU. You don't need someone else's cooperation or approval- you just need to enforce the boundaries you set (which is the hard part)
So today we are chatting with Katherine McNichol, a Ontario based therapist who's here to teach us about setting and enforcing boundaries. You might know Katherine from her hilarious IG account (http://www.instagram.com/katherinemcnichol.com) ! If you haven't checked out her account yet- GO! Her memes are so damn funny.
So what's the process for setting boundaries with a narc??
1) Set the boundary by telling them "This conversation is to discuss _______________"
2) When they attempt to change the subject (even if it's by throwing a jab at your expense) you can say, "I hear the you want to discuss ________________ and we can do that at another time, but right now we are talking about ___________.
3) Set the boundary. "This conversation is to talk about ______________. If you keep bringing up ___________,I'm going to need to end this conversation."
4) When that boundary that you just set is crossed- END THE CONVERSATION.
The boundary does not exisit unless you enforce it.
If you're interested with working with Katherine, please visit: http://www.kiruwellness.com and remember to check out her IG page for daily tips!!
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