How Not To Suck At Divorce: Divorce Advice and Relatable Humor

The first 30 days of divorce can feel like a tornado: unpredictable, emotional, and expensive if you’re not careful. In this episode, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian + marketing guru) and Morgan L. Stogsdill (family law powerhouse) share the top three mistakes people make in the early days of divorce, and how to avoid them.From texting your ex when you’re angry, to oversharing on social media, to thinking you can “speed through” the legal process. This episode breaks down the emotional, financial, and legal landmines that derail people again and again. You’ll laugh, cringe, and probably see yourself in a few of these moments (we’ve all been there).If you’re newly separated or about to file, this episode is your permission slip to pause, breathe, and get smart.🧾 In This Episode:1️⃣ Mistake #1: Expecting it to get easier right awayWhy things actually feel worse before they get betterHow to ask your attorney for a 30-day roadmapThe importance of managing adrenaline and expectations2️⃣ Mistake #2: Venting online (and via text)Why your DMs, TikToks, and “inspirational quotes” can backfire legallyThe true cost of an emotional text (yes, every angry email = more billable hours)How to protect your privacy and your kids’ peace during divorce3️⃣ Mistake #3: Rushing through paperwork to “get it over with”Why going too fast leads to expensive mistakesHow to give yourself grace — and time — in the processWhy “slow and steady” really does win this race💬 Key Quotes“Don’t pop the popcorn and let everybody watch the show. Go to the real people in your world who are there to lift you up.” – Andrea Rappaport“Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes it’s day by day, other times hour by hour — and that’s okay.” – Morgan StogsdillThe early days of divorce are all about emotional control, clarity, and smart strategy. Expect the chaos, plan for it, and don’t react from pain. Whether you’re tempted to overshare online, over-email your lawyer, or overthink your ex ... stop, take a breath, and remember: you’ve got this. And we’ve got you.🔗 Resources Mentioned💌 Join Our Private Community: For support, laughter, and real talk✉️ Truly Engaging Cards: Connect with your people this holiday season ([link + promo code in show notes])We are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.comOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When divorce gets messy, who gets the details, your best friend or your lawyer? Comedian Andrea Rappaport and family-law powerhouse Morgan L. Stogsdill break down exactly what belongs in your attorney’s inbox (strategy, facts, timelines, negotiations) and what belongs at brunch (feelings, venting, support). You’ll learn how to communicate efficiently to save money, protect leverage, and avoid sabotaging your case, plus how to choose the right friends to lean on without getting “keyed up and liquored up” and firing off expensive emails. Practical scripts, pattern-tracking tips, and a reminder that attorney-client conversations are confidential.Negotiating without lawyers? Tell your attorney first.What to report: “We’ve been negotiating directly,” plus the round-by-round back-and-forth (Offer → Counter → Counter). This preserves leverage and prevents your lawyer from being blindsided by opposing counsel’s “but the parties already agreed…” (≈ 11:00–12:31).Use cost-effective communications.Prefer a short bullet-point email or a 15-minute call to recap facts; end with a clear question (“Is this relevant / do you need more?”) so your lawyer can triage quickly (≈ 12:06–12:41, 16:45–17:45).Medical issues can change your financial outcome.Tell your lawyer the bottom line (e.g., “Follow-up testing showed I had a stroke; next steps include X”). This can impact maintenance/alimony, health-insurance planning, and future medical costs—don’t hold back due to privacy; it’s confidential (≈ 6:01–8:54).Kids & custody: document patterns, not one-offs.Track behaviors over time (timeline with dates) and escalate only when a pattern emerges. Use a co-parenting app (e.g., OurFamilyWizard) so records are centralized and tamper-resistant (≈ 18:59–20:29, 36:13–36:49).Do not crowd-source legal strategy or finances to friends.Don’t pass around your financial affidavit/balance sheet or share strategy; non-experts amp anxiety and can trigger costly re-work by your legal team (≈ 24:07–26:45).Avoid “keyed up + liquored up” emails.Late-night venting to your lawyer = billable time and often requires follow-up to unwind, costing hundreds for nothing actionable (≈ 24:49–25:48).Attorney-client privilege & scope.Your lawyer needs high-level facts and actionable timelines; save feelings for friends/therapist unless they reveal patterns relevant to the case (≈ 4:47–5:37, 18:59–19:46).00:00 Why lawyers need the facts; negotiating w/o attorneys03:38 Attorney vs. friend: who gets what06:01 Medical issues that change financial outcomes09:35 Private negotiations: how to report rounds + counters12:06 Bullets vs. calls; add a question to every email16:45 Kids’ issues: patterns, timelines, apps21:16 Choosing the right friend (avoid “Sally Big Mouth” & hidden agendas)24:07 Don’t show friends your balance sheet; cost traps32:56 Community + handwritten cards (sponsor segment)41:19 Marathon mindset + resources/community“Your attorney protects your case; your friend protects your heart—don’t confuse the two.”“If you’re negotiating directly, tell us—and give the round-by-round offers.”“Report like a newscaster: facts, dates, sequence. Feelings go to friends.”“Keyed up + liquored up = very expensive emails.”Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseWe are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.comOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Money talk can make anyone want to hide under a blanket (or a naked sweater 👀), but dividing assets during divorce doesn’t have to send you into a panic spiral. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse attorney Morgan Stogsdill break down the financial side of divorce into three simple letters: A, B, and CYou’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, and you’ll definitely take notes as Andrea and Morgan make sense of the mess — from Target runs and Amazon receipts to Botox budgets and business-minded thinking.Here’s what you’ll learn:A — Ask for Help: How to stop avoiding financial paperwork, and who you should lean on (yes, paralegals and lawyers are your new BFFs).B — Think Like a Business Person: Why emotions can tank smart decisions — and how to negotiate like you’re closing a deal, not fighting a war.C — Calculate, Don’t Catastrophize: The mindset shift that keeps you out of the panic zone and focused on strategy, not drama.Morgan’s expert tips on financial affidavits, balance sheets, and why honesty about your spending (yes, even the Botox) pays off in the long run.Andrea’s real-life story about getting zero in her settlement — and how she turned it into a comeback.Wild (and hilarious) real-world examples of divorce gone petty — from stolen cabinet knobs to donation revenge schemes 💡 Whether you’re splitting assets worth millions or dividing a Target cart, this episode gives you the knowledge, humor, and empowerment to handle your money like a pro — without losing your sanity.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseIf you have a concern about alcohol use during coparenting time, you need Soberlink. Head to www.soberlink.com/notsuck to see how Soberlink can be used in your case and claim your $100 Visa gift card.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Do you feel like your life is on pause until your divorce is finalized? You’re not alone, but you don’t have to wait for papers, court dates, or signatures to start moving forward.In this candid (and hilarious) episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, comedian Andrea Rappaport and top family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill share the real truth about life “in limbo” during divorce and how to reclaim your sense of control today.What You'll Learn:Why waiting for “someday” is the biggest trap people fall into during divorce.The difference between what’s legally on hold vs. what’s emotionally self-imposed Practical ways to feel progress when everything seems stuck: routines, and community support.Andrea’s relatable (and ridiculous) humor about skincare, salmon sperm masks, and why she hates the word healing.Morgan’s legal tips on dating, parenting schedules, and even buying a house before your divorce is final.A game called “I Give You Permission” where the hosts hand out real-life permission slips to help you breathe easier and take action now 💡 Whether you’re stuck living with your ex, confused about dating during divorce, or simply tired of waiting, this episode gives you both the laughs and the strategies you need to feel less like you’re treading water and more like you’re steering the ship.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill get into the often-overlooked connection between divorce and grief. Divorce can intensify feelings of loss, loneliness, and emotional pain, making it crucial to find healthy coping mechanisms, community support, and tools for personal growth.The hosts explore why grief isn’t just about the death of a loved one—it’s also a natural and valid response to the end of a marriage or relationship. They break down common misconceptions about grief, the importance of mental health support, and how to create grief-informed workplaces that help employees heal. You’ll also hear actionable strategies for emotional healing, including creative outlets and building supportive communities.If you’re navigating the complex emotions of divorce and grief this conversation offers both compassion and practical guidance.What you'll learn:Divorce is grief: Ending a marriage is a major life loss that requires emotional healing.Holidays amplify emotions: Loneliness and sadness often increase during seasonal gatherings.Grief is not linear: It may show up as anger, sadness, guilt, or even relief.Misconceptions hurt healing: Ignoring or minimizing grief can slow down recovery.Community matters: Leaning on support groups, friends, and family can ease the burden.No set timeline: Everyone’s grieving process looks different.Workplace awareness: Grief-informed policies benefit both employees and employers.Creative outlets help: Journaling, art, and other self-expressive activities can be powerful coping tools.Validation is healing: Recognizing all forms of grief encourages healthier mental health.You’re not alone: Many people share similar struggles and experiences.Rebecca Feinglos (pronounced fine-gloss) is a certified grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave. Rebecca founded Grieve Leave in 2021 as a way to document her experience on a year-long grief sabbatical, as a way to process her own grief and loss— she lost her mother in her teens, her father in 2020, and her marriage in a drawn-out divorce. Grieve Leave has grown into a community of 25,000 that provides tangible takeaways, resources, and a healthy dose of humor, creating an entire movement around taking intentional time to grieve. Rebecca has been featured in LA Times, Fortune, TIME, HuffPost, Slate, and ELLE for her raw and revolutionary voice, inspiring a more grief-informed world.Resouces:Grieve Leave: check them out here: www.greiveleave.comSoberlink: Save $$ off your alcohol monitoring device by visiting Soberlink here: www.soberlink.com/notsuckOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckHow Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1EdbV4Yr79/Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.TikTok: @divorcepodcastInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When you’re in the middle of a divorce, one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make is hiring the right attorney. In this powerhouse episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian) and Morgan Stogsdill (head of family law at the largest firm in the U.S.) sit down in Los Angeles with celebrity divorce attorneys and judges to uncover what really matters when it comes to navigating high-stakes cases.From avoiding the “shark attorney” trap to protecting your kids and learning how to negotiate like a pro, this episode is full of real talk and insider advice. Oh, and yes—we spill some behind-the-scenes tea from our LA adventure, hotel fiascos included.What You’ll Learn in This Episode 🎧Why hiring the wrong lawyer can ruin your case(and why “sharks” only guarantee that lawyers win—not clients).What judges look for when deciding if an attorney is a good fit for your case.The “beauty pageant” of divorce attorneys — and how to shop smart without rushing.Communication mistakes that cost thousands, like adding one little jab (“jerk”) to an otherwise harmless text.How to protect your kids from being dragged into custody disputes or used as messengers.Negotiation secrets: why making the first offer usually leads to a better deal.The role of forensic accountants and when you really need one.Celebrity divorce lessons: what everyday people can learn from the way stars protect their privacy and brand.Expert Voices in This EpisodeYou’ll hear from some of the most respected celebrity divorce attorneys and judges in Los Angeles, including:Chris Melcher – High-profile family law attorney known for representing celebrities.Celebrity lawyer Christopher C. Melcher is ranked as a best family law attorney in California 2023 (Band 1 Chambers High Net Worth) and is a partner of top family law firm Walzer Melcher YodaCommissioner Gretchen Taylor – Hon. Judge bringing empathy and sharp insights from the bench.Prior to her tenure on the Los Angeles Superior Court and the Riverside Superior Court, Hon. Gretchen W. Taylor, a Certified Family Law Specialist since 1991, was a successful Beverly Hills Family Law attorney for 18 years. Judge Dianna Gold-Saltman – Family law judge offering candid advice on communication and expectations.Hon. Dianna Gould-Saltman (Ret.) is a well-respected family law attorney and was a Los Angeles Superior Court judge. In her first year as a private neutral, Judge Gould-Saltman was named one of 24 leading family law private judges in the State of California by Doyle’s Guide.Steve Mindel – Renowned attorney breaking down negotiation, financial pitfalls, and the psychology of divorce.With over 30 years of experience in family law, Steven A. Mindel is the Managing and Founding Partner of FMBK and a Certified Family Law Specialist*, dividing his time between leading one of Southern California’s premier family law firms and representing clients in complex matters. Why This Episode MattersMost people panic-hire the first lawyer they meet. But the right attorney won’t just tell you what you want to hear—they’ll push back, set realistic expectations, and protect your long-term stability. This episode arms you with the questions to ask, the red flags to spot, and the strategies that save time, money, and your sanity.Resources & Links MentionedDivorce Crash Course → A step-by-step guide on hiring the right attorney and avoiding costly mistakes. www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com "You Got This and We Got You" Hats! https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/giftsSoberlink → Alcohol monitoring to keep kids safe during parenting time. soberlink.com/notsuckLevitt Quinn- The services that they offer in LA county help so many who otherwise would not have access to legal representation  https://levittquinn.org/ Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20And last, but not least, please go check out the FABULOUS SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills, tell them How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast sent you! They'll be extra nice!SLS Beverly Hills👉 Listen now to hear what celebrity judges and attorneys want you to know about divorce—and how to avoid the biggest mistakes.Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.TikTok: @divorcepodcastInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Do you want your lawyer to actually call you back, explain the plan, and move your case forward? It’s not magic...it’s how you communicate and collaborate.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan break down what puts you on your divorce attorney’s priority list (and what lands you on the “not today” pile). You’ll hear real stories, simple scripts, and clear next steps to get faster responses, clearer strategy, and better service...without spending more than you need to.What You'll Learn:How to make your divorce case a priorityHow long it should take for your attorney to respond to youHow to get clear action steps from your divorce attorneyKnowing when is it time to get a second opinion or switch divorce attorneys and how to do itHow to not annoy your divorce attorney so they won't hate you and not prioritze your case!Listen in for the exact do’s and don’ts, respectful scripts that work, and a refreshingly honest take on getting the support you deserve during divorce.Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:Need a thoughtful way to connect? Shop our curated greeting cards here.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major (and expensive) mistakes. Learn more here.Our Family Wizard is a fantastic resource for anyone navigating co-parenting. Check out our partnership here.Friends, slide into our DMs—we love hearing from you. We’re always here to listen and help in any way we can. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.Instagram: @hownottosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When an affair is part of your divorce story, it can feel like there’s no justice...especially in a no-fault state. In this candid, funny-but-serious conversation, Andrea and Morgan break down what you can control: your money, your mindset, and your parenting decisions. They explain how dissipation (spending marital funds on a third party) might matter, when it’s worth digging into records, what to ask your lawyer, and why protecting your mental health (and your kids) is the real win. You’ll also hear how new partners or messy situations (hello, “au pair drama”) can affect parenting time and how to keep your own behavior from hurting your case.What You’ll Learn:What a no-fault divorce actually means for affairsHow spending money on someone else can affect your caseA simple way to ask your lawyer about looking into dissipation without overspendingWhy protecting your mental health matters more than “justice”How new partners or messy situations can impact parenting timeOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When you’re stuck wondering if you should stay married or finally move forward with a divorce, the decision feels impossible. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan get real about how to weigh your options—emotionally and practically—so you can stop spinning in circles and start finding clarity.They share a powerful acronym to help you evaluate your marriage, plus the exact logistical steps you should take if divorce might be on your horizon. From emotional check-ins to financial prep, you’ll walk away knowing what questions to ask and what to do next.Questions answered in this episode:How do you know if it’s really your marriage—or just outside stress—making you unhappy?What is the TALK acronym and how can it help you evaluate your relationship?Why is therapy (with a professional, not a friend) a critical first step?What does “attunement” actually mean in a marriage, and why does it matter?How can laughter and levity show you the health of your relationship?Why do you need to understand the divorce process before making a decision?What financial steps should you take if you’re not sure whether to divorce?How does timing (holidays, business cycles, even illness) affect the right moment to file?What should you know about custody laws in your state before deciding?How do you know if you’re mentally strong enough to start the divorce process?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Let’s face it—back to school hits different when you’re divorced… and especially when you’re the one stuck writing 40 thank-you notes from a six-year-old who can barely write his name.In this episode, Andrea and Morgan are tackling two of the most unhinged yet relatable parenting hurdles:🎁 Kid birthday party etiquette (aka the gift spiral from hell)📚 Back-to-school survival when you’re divorced or divorcingFrom the emotional whiplash of a toddler’s party gift pile to awkwardly dodging your ex at curriculum night, these two don’t hold back. Expect brutal honesty, hysterical hypotheticals (yes, hiring someone to write thank-you notes is discussed), and practical survival tips to help you navigate the school year without screaming “NOT WELL, B*TCH!” at the PTA meeting.What You’ll Learn (and Laugh About):Why Lego gifts are basically a hate crimeHow to communicate with teachers without throwing your ex under the school busWhat to do when your kids feel caught between two parents on the first day of schoolWhy sitting with your ex at a band concert might not be best (even if Celine Dion is involved)The right (and wrong) way to set expectations with schools and teachersTips for socializing as a newly single parent (yes, we see you hiding in your car after drop-off)Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago