How Not To Suck At Divorce: Divorce Advice You Need To Hear

If you’ve ever fired off an angry text, regretted it immediately, or found yourself stuck in never-ending drama with your ex—this episode is for you. Andrea and Morgan sit down with the legendary Bill Eddy (lawyer, therapist, mediator, and creator of the BIFF method) to unpack exactly how to communicate with high-conflict people—without losing your mind (or your case).You’ll learn why your responses might be feeding the fire, what judges actually notice in emails, and the two acronyms that can completely transform how you co-parent with a difficult ex. Whether you’re in the thick of divorce or trying to rebuild your peace afterward—this is a must-listen.What you’ll learn:What the BIFF method is (and why every lawyer uses it)How to end hostile conversations without fueling the fireWhat judges think when they read your emailsHow to save major money by communicating smarterThe difference between reacting and respondingWhy empathy is a power move (not a weakness)How to stop playing the blame game and move forwardThe biggest legal risk of oversharing via text or emailHow to draft a response that makes your ex pause, not pounceWhat “emotional mirroring” is—and how to avoid itBurning questions answered in this episode:What do I actually say when my ex sends a nasty email?How can I communicate effectively if my ex is a narcissist?Should I respond to everything my co-parent says?Why does tone matter if we’re already in court?How do I keep conflict from costing me a fortune?Connect with Bill Eddy:Website: www.highconflictinstitute.comBooks: BIFF for Co-Parent Communication, Ear Statements, and moreInstagram: @highconflictinstituteOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Is it your ex… or your estrogen? In this honest, hilarious, and eye-opening episode, Andrea and Morgan sit down with Joanna Strober, founder and CEO of MIDI, to uncover how midlife hormone shifts can sabotage your divorce (and your sanity). They discuss why so many women feel like they’re losing their minds during divorce, how to actually get helpful care without expensive concierge clinics, and what might be missing from your divorce team. Spoiler: it might be estrogen and semaglutide.What you’ll learn:What MIDI is—and why it might be your new secret weaponThe signs you’re not “just emotional”… your hormones might be offHow perimenopause symptoms overlap with divorce stressWhy good healthcare now can help you make better divorce decisionsWhat hormones like estrogen and testosterone can (and can’t) fixThe juicy good truth about weight loss meds like semaglutide (aka Ozempic/Wegovy)How MIDI makes care accessible and insurance-friendlyThe long-term risks of ignoring hormonal healthWhy your second act deserves a thriving body and brainHow to stop using your lawyer as your therapistBurning questions answered in this episode:What the hell is happening to my body during divorce?Can hormones really impact mood, memory, libido, and weight?Is telehealth legit—or should I be worried?What’s the real deal with GLP-1s (like semaglutide)?Is testosterone safe for women?How do I know if I’m in perimenopause?What if my insurance doesn’t cover this?Could taking care of my hormones have saved my marriage?How do I get started with MIDI?Why is feeling better the key to not sucking at divorce?Check out MIDI: https://www.joinmidi.com/Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In today's episode, Andrea and Morgan break down the divorce dream team—who you need, who you don’t, and where to invest your VERY hard-earned dollars. From therapists to forensic accountants and parenting coordinators, they give you the inside scoop on which players actually move the needle in your case. Plus, they get real (and a little savage) about online divorce coaches and overpriced fluff. If you're building your team or just starting out, this episode is your ultimate roadmap to not sucking at divorce.What you’ll learn:What a “divorce team” actually is and why you need oneWhen hiring a therapist makes sense (spoiler: probably now)Why most divorce coaches aren’t worth your moneyWhat a parenting coordinator does—and if you need oneThe truth about forensic accountants, child therapists, and financial advisorsWhich services save money vs. waste itThe one product they do endorse: The Divorce Crash CourseHow to use Our Family Wizard for smoother co-parentingWhat red flags to avoid when building your teamBurning questions answered in this episode:Do I really need a lawyer or can I DIY my divorce?Who should be on my divorce “dream team”?What kind of therapist is helpful during divorce (for me or my kids)?What’s the real deal with divorce coaches on social media?What does a forensic accountant actually do?Is it okay to start therapy for my kids without telling my ex?Can tools like Our Family Wizard actually save me money?How do I handle team members when my attorney is from a big firm?Are financial advisors helpful during divorce—or after?How can I protect my mental and physical health during this process?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Think saving money during divorce is impossible? Think again. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan serve up the real (and hilarious) talk on how to actually cut your legal costs without sacrificing your sanity—or your settlement. From bulletproof email tips to why paralegals are your secret weapon, they’re spilling the strategies that your wallet will thank you for. Bonus: Andrea might just be learning all the words to American Pie, so there’s that too.What you'll learn:How bullet-point emails can save you hundreds (yes, hundreds) of dollarsWhy scheduling quick, focused calls can be smarter (and cheaper) than endless emailsThe right way to ask your attorney for help without skyrocketing your billWhy working with an associate or paralegal can be a total financial game-changerThe exact language to use when your legal bill makes you want to faintBurning questions answered in this episode:How do you ask for cost-saving options without insulting your attorney?When should you insist on a phone call instead of an email?What should you do if you’re feeling totally overwhelmed by the documents you need to gather?How can you tell if your case really needs a big-name partner or if an associate will do just fine?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseIn this episode on How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome Renee Swanson, host of the Covert Narcissism podcast, for a powerful conversation about planning your way out of an emotionally abusive marriage. Renee shares how she reclaimed her identity, protected her children, and gathered strength before initiating divorce — all while still living under the same roof as her husband. It's an episode full of actionable guidance, healing truths, and hope for anyone feeling stuck, exhausted, and unsure of their next move.What you’ll learn:How to emotionally prepare before leaving a toxic relationshipThe power of “baby steps” and small daily actions that build long-term momentumWays to gather legal and emotional information to reduce overwhelmHow to communicate safely and reclaim your dignity while still in the marriageTools and strategies for coexisting with a high-conflict partner during separationWhy there’s never a perfect time to divorce — and why that’s okayQuestions answered in this episode:Can you begin healing while still in an emotionally abusive marriage?What does a practical, step-by-step divorce exit plan look like?How do you manage sharing a home with someone who triggers or controls you?How do you know when it’s really time to leave?What legal steps should you take while you’re still deciding?How do you stop reacting and start protecting your peace?Our Family Wizard is another fantastic resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our DMs, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Connect with our guest, Renee: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/podcastInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan tackle the often-overlooked topic of how perimenopause and menopause can impact relationships and yep, that's right- divorce. They are joined by Dr. Heather Cushing, an MD who specializes in hormonal health, to discuss the effects of hormonal changes on women's moods, behavior, and marital dynamics. The conversation covers the confusion and frustration many women feel as they experience shifts in their bodies and emotions, which can often be mistaken for relationship problems. Dr. Cushing explains the difference between perimenopause and menopause, the importance of hormone therapy (HRT), and how addressing hormonal imbalances can help women make clearer, more rational decisions during the divorce process.Questions Answered in this Episode:What is the difference between perimenopause and menopause?What symptoms are commonly experienced during perimenopause and menopause?How do hormonal changes affect mood and relationships?How can hormonal changes lead to feelings of irritability and emotional distance in marriages?What should women do if they feel like they are not themselves during perimenopause or menopause?How do hormone imbalances impact decision-making, especially regarding marriage and divorce?What steps can women take to address hormonal issues before making life-changing decisions like divorce?Is hormone therapy a safe and effective treatment for women experiencing perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms?How can men navigate the challenges of supporting a spouse going through hormonal changes?What are the best approaches to take for those who are hesitant to start hormone treatment but want to feel better?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complex relationship between faith and divorce. Our guest, Bree Sullivan-Howell, a family law attorney and author, shares her personal journey and professional insights on navigating divorce when your Christian faith conflicts with the decision to separate. From understanding the Biblical perspective on divorce to overcoming the shame and judgment that often accompanies faith-based divorces, Brie offers a compassionate and practical guide and practical steps tat you CANNOT miss.What you'll learn:The challenges of reconciling religious beliefs with the reality of divorce.How to handle cultural and religious pressures while considering divorce.Actionable steps to take before and during the divorce process, including creating a plan, gathering your documents, and preparing for shifts in your social circles.Insights on how to stay true to your faith while navigating divorce, with examples of how faith can strengthen rather than hinder the process.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Connect with Bree:bree@sullivan-firm.comInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complexities of navigating a divorce when you have a child with special or higher needs. We’re joined by Cari Pines, an attorney in LA who specializes in family law and has personal experience with raising special needs children. Cari shares her expertise on how to manage the legal and emotional challenges that come with divorce when your child requires extra care and attention.What you’ll learn:How to communicate effectively with your attorney about your child’s special needsThe importance of gathering information about your child’s diagnosis, behaviors, and needs before you begin the divorce processThe role of a forensic expert and why this might be necessary in some casesPractical advice on managing disputes with your ex regarding your child’s medical care and therapyTips on using tools like Our Family Wizard to keep track of communications and medical expensesHow to take care of yourself while navigating the difficult path of parenting a child with special needs during a divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we explore the complexities of hiring a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) or an Attorney for the Child (AFC), two roles that are often involved when there are disputes over parenting time or custody. Special guest Randi Karmel, a seasoned attorney based in New York, shares her expert insights on when and why these professionals might be appointed in divorce cases and how they can impact your case.What you’ll learn:The roles and differences between a GAL and an AFC, and how they advocate for children in custody casesHow to determine if you need an AFC or GAL, and the potential impact on your caseThe importance of honesty and transparency when communicating with an AFC or GALKey differences in how these roles work in different states, like New York versus IllinoisHow to prepare for interviews with an AFC or GAL and what to avoid doing during these interactionsOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the world of forensic accountants and when you should—and shouldn't—bring one into your divorce case. Featuring expert Marie Ebersbacher, a senior managing director in forensic consulting, we explore how forensic accountants help uncover hidden assets, value businesses, and track income. We also share some wild, real-life stories, including one about a celebrity hairdresser's murder that has some SERIOUS financial implications! Hit play - you can't miss this one!What you’ll learn:When is it worth hiring a forensic accountant for your divorce?How to spot discrepancies in financial documents (and what to do about them)Real-life stories of financial shenanigans and how they played out in divorce casesTips on saving time and money during your divorce process without going rogueTune in for valuable insights and a little humor to make the divorce process juuuust a bit less overwhelming!Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago