How Not To Suck At Divorce: Divorce Advice You Need To Hear

In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Heather McGinley, Emmy award-winning author and founder of The Happily Never After, shares her powerful story of growing up in a fundamentalist Christian family with 21 siblings and how her unconventional upbringing shaped her approach to relationships and divorce. She discusses the mistakes she made during her divorce process, including not interviewing multiple attorneys and failing to file for temporary support, while offering hope that life's most difficult endings can lead to beautiful new beginnings.What You'll HearHeather's shocking revelation about growing up as the eldest of many children in a "quiverfull" fundamentalist Christian household (hit play to find out HOW many siblings 👀)How religious trauma and purity culture affected her ability to form healthy relationshipsThe moment her therapist helped her realize she had shut down emotionally as a survival mechanismWhy she says she "should have gotten divorced before getting married"Her biggest mistakes during the divorce process, including financial decisions that cost her $20,000Her experience working as a producer on Oprah's show and the valuable lessons about intentionThe "bathroom floor" moments during divorce and how to get through themHow divorce became the catalyst for her personal growth and ability to love authenticallyQuestions Answered in This EpisodeHow does childhood trauma affect relationship choices in adulthood?What are the biggest mistakes people make when hiring a divorce attorney?When should you file for temporary spousal support during divorce proceedings?How do you know when it's time to get divorced?Why does divorce often get harder before it gets better?What should be on your divorce support team?How can you maintain hope during the darkest moments of divorce?What role does personal growth play in the divorce process?How do you move from surviving to thriving after divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Fear. It’s the uninvited guest in every divorce and today, we’re dragging it into the light. Andrea and Morgan sit down with Crazy Ex-Wives Club host Erica Bennett, whose own divorce journey turned from heartbreak and confusion into a masterclass in emotional self-preservation. Erica shares how fear nearly derailed her decisions, how she clawed back her confidence, and why your fear is lying to you. From psychic readings to the art of “future tripping,” this episode is packed with hard truths, solid strategies, and a big reminder that you are not alone in the chaos.What you’ll learn: • Why fear is a terrible advisor during divorce • How to identify fear-based thinking before it tanks your decisions • The problem with “future tripping” and how to stop it • Tips to reset your nervous system when you’re spiraling • What really happens during trial separations (and why they often backfire) • The emotional cost of being “too nice” during divorce • How to keep your kids at the center and not the middle of co-parenting • Tools for managing communication when your ex checks out • Why shared custody must come with accountability • How Erica rebuilt her life and happiness post-divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Andrea and Morgan are diving deep into the emotional rollercoaster of pre-divorce decisions, from trial separations and nesting, to financial agreements and moving out. With personal stories, expert legal insight, and a healthy dose of humor, this episode is a must-listen for anyone standing at the edge of a marital crossroads. Whether you’re considering divorce or simply feeling unsettled, this episode will help you think three steps ahead and avoid the most common (and very costly) mistakes.What you’ll learn:Why trial separations may backfire (especially if kids are involved)The pros and serious cons of nesting during separationHow moving out early can hurt your case without proper legal strategyWhy unofficial financial deals are a huge red flagWhat to do instead: safe, strategic first moves to protect yourselfOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When manipulation sneaks into your divorce, it’s not just annoying, it’s super dangerous. In this candid episode, Andrea and Morgan teach you how to spot the most common manipulation tactics used before and during divorce, and how to stop falling for them. With the unforgettable acronym WTF (Want, Three Steps Ahead, Facts), they walk you through real scenarios, including guilt-tripping about the kids, controlling family finances, and “let’s not use lawyers” setups. Plus, Andrea shares a personal story that inspired the entire conversation complete with a tribute to her late grandmother, the original queen of no-BS.What you’ll learn:The WTF method: Want, Three Steps Ahead, and FactsHow pre-divorce manipulation keeps you stuck (and what to do)Why “we don’t need lawyers” is a massive red flagGuilt tactics involving kids, family, and moneyHow to shut down drama without escalating conflictThe emotional and financial cost of being reactiveHow to think like a chess player, not a punching bagOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mediation doesn’t have to suck—but walking in unprepared absolutely does. In this solo power-packed episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the exact roadmap you need before entering mediation. Whether it’s your parenting plan, finances, or both on the table, this episode walks you through every question to ask your lawyer, how to mentally prepare, and the secret negotiation strategies that’ll keep you calm, confident, and in control.What you’ll learn:The 4-part strategy to prep for mediation like a proWhat makes a bad mediator—and how to avoid oneWhy your first offer will probably suck (and that’s okay)What “sweeteners” are and how to use them to get what you wantTips to regulate your emotions and stay focused during mediationWhether attorney-assisted mediation is worth itHow to build your own mediation “cheat sheet”Why mediation saves you time, money, and sanity (even if it fails)Burning Questions Answered:“How do I know if what I’m asking for is realistic?”“What if my ex throws something crazy at me?”“Do I need to get the mediator to like me?”“Can I call my lawyer during mediation?”“What happens if we can’t agree on anything?”Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseSo… your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t? Oof. That’s a brutal position to be in—and one we know all too well. In this candid, no-holds-barred episode, Andrea and Morgan dive into the exact steps you need to take—legally and emotionally—when divorce isn’t your idea, but it’s happening anyway. Whether the papers haven’t been filed yet or you’ve already been served, this is your guide to protecting yourself, preparing smartly, and finding solid ground when your world feels upside down.What You’ll Learn:The first 3 legal steps to take if your spouse hasn’t filed yetHow to emotionally process being blindsided by divorceWhat to do (and not do) if your spouse has filedWhen discernment counseling works (and when it won’t)How to avoid expensive legal mistakes just because you’re overwhelmedWhy it’s critical to understand your attorney’s strategyBurning Questions Answered:“What if I don’t want a divorce—do I have any control?”“How can I financially prepare if I’m in the dark?”“Is couples therapy enough to save us?”“What happens if I ignore the divorce petition?”“How do I hold it together when I’m falling apart?Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

If you’ve ever fired off an angry text, regretted it immediately, or found yourself stuck in never-ending drama with your ex—this episode is for you. Andrea and Morgan sit down with the legendary Bill Eddy (lawyer, therapist, mediator, and creator of the BIFF method) to unpack exactly how to communicate with high-conflict people—without losing your mind (or your case).You’ll learn why your responses might be feeding the fire, what judges actually notice in emails, and the two acronyms that can completely transform how you co-parent with a difficult ex. Whether you’re in the thick of divorce or trying to rebuild your peace afterward—this is a must-listen.What you’ll learn:What the BIFF method is (and why every lawyer uses it)How to end hostile conversations without fueling the fireWhat judges think when they read your emailsHow to save major money by communicating smarterThe difference between reacting and respondingWhy empathy is a power move (not a weakness)How to stop playing the blame game and move forwardThe biggest legal risk of oversharing via text or emailHow to draft a response that makes your ex pause, not pounceWhat “emotional mirroring” is—and how to avoid itBurning questions answered in this episode:What do I actually say when my ex sends a nasty email?How can I communicate effectively if my ex is a narcissist?Should I respond to everything my co-parent says?Why does tone matter if we’re already in court?How do I keep conflict from costing me a fortune?Connect with Bill Eddy:Website: www.highconflictinstitute.comBooks: BIFF for Co-Parent Communication, Ear Statements, and moreInstagram: @highconflictinstituteOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Is it your ex… or your estrogen? In this honest, hilarious, and eye-opening episode, Andrea and Morgan sit down with Joanna Strober, founder and CEO of MIDI, to uncover how midlife hormone shifts can sabotage your divorce (and your sanity). They discuss why so many women feel like they’re losing their minds during divorce, how to actually get helpful care without expensive concierge clinics, and what might be missing from your divorce team. Spoiler: it might be estrogen and semaglutide.What you’ll learn:What MIDI is—and why it might be your new secret weaponThe signs you’re not “just emotional”… your hormones might be offHow perimenopause symptoms overlap with divorce stressWhy good healthcare now can help you make better divorce decisionsWhat hormones like estrogen and testosterone can (and can’t) fixThe juicy good truth about weight loss meds like semaglutide (aka Ozempic/Wegovy)How MIDI makes care accessible and insurance-friendlyThe long-term risks of ignoring hormonal healthWhy your second act deserves a thriving body and brainHow to stop using your lawyer as your therapistBurning questions answered in this episode:What the hell is happening to my body during divorce?Can hormones really impact mood, memory, libido, and weight?Is telehealth legit—or should I be worried?What’s the real deal with GLP-1s (like semaglutide)?Is testosterone safe for women?How do I know if I’m in perimenopause?What if my insurance doesn’t cover this?Could taking care of my hormones have saved my marriage?How do I get started with MIDI?Why is feeling better the key to not sucking at divorce?Check out MIDI: trymidi.com/hownottosuckatdivorce**Everything that you hear in this is episode is authentic, and part of paid collaboration with Midi Health**Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In today's episode, Andrea and Morgan break down the divorce dream team—who you need, who you don’t, and where to invest your VERY hard-earned dollars. From therapists to forensic accountants and parenting coordinators, they give you the inside scoop on which players actually move the needle in your case. Plus, they get real (and a little savage) about online divorce coaches and overpriced fluff. If you're building your team or just starting out, this episode is your ultimate roadmap to not sucking at divorce.What you’ll learn:What a “divorce team” actually is and why you need oneWhen hiring a therapist makes sense (spoiler: probably now)Why most divorce coaches aren’t worth your moneyWhat a parenting coordinator does—and if you need oneThe truth about forensic accountants, child therapists, and financial advisorsWhich services save money vs. waste itThe one product they do endorse: The Divorce Crash CourseHow to use Our Family Wizard for smoother co-parentingWhat red flags to avoid when building your teamBurning questions answered in this episode:Do I really need a lawyer or can I DIY my divorce?Who should be on my divorce “dream team”?What kind of therapist is helpful during divorce (for me or my kids)?What’s the real deal with divorce coaches on social media?What does a forensic accountant actually do?Is it okay to start therapy for my kids without telling my ex?Can tools like Our Family Wizard actually save me money?How do I handle team members when my attorney is from a big firm?Are financial advisors helpful during divorce—or after?How can I protect my mental and physical health during this process?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Think saving money during divorce is impossible? Think again. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan serve up the real (and hilarious) talk on how to actually cut your legal costs without sacrificing your sanity—or your settlement. From bulletproof email tips to why paralegals are your secret weapon, they’re spilling the strategies that your wallet will thank you for. Bonus: Andrea might just be learning all the words to American Pie, so there’s that too.What you'll learn:How bullet-point emails can save you hundreds (yes, hundreds) of dollarsWhy scheduling quick, focused calls can be smarter (and cheaper) than endless emailsThe right way to ask your attorney for help without skyrocketing your billWhy working with an associate or paralegal can be a total financial game-changerThe exact language to use when your legal bill makes you want to faintBurning questions answered in this episode:How do you ask for cost-saving options without insulting your attorney?When should you insist on a phone call instead of an email?What should you do if you’re feeling totally overwhelmed by the documents you need to gather?How can you tell if your case really needs a big-name partner or if an associate will do just fine?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago