How Not To Suck At Divorce
Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support—not drama, shame, or sugarcoating.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Episodes
Mentioned books
May 25, 2023 • 51min
66. What You Need To Know If You Plan on NOT Getting Remarried. With Attorney, Susan Myres
There's a growing trend to share your life with someone and NOT get legally married...which sounds great, right?!? No marriage = no divorce...so what could be bad?? Well, there's some things to consider...and on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce we are chatting with Houston area attorney, Susan Myres, who's shedding light on the perils of playing house. So, if you're considering NOT getting remarried because, well, divorce SUCKS, we totally get it, but please listen to this episode FIRST so you're well aware of the pros and cons. Things to consider: Tax benefits, medical rights, survior rights, pre marriage assets, just to name a few!! There are many, many ways to live a happy and healthy life with your partner, just be aware of your rights! Susan is availabe at https://www.thehoustondivorcefirm.com/our-team/susan-myres/ To join our private community, visit: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And to listen to our episodes privately, visit: http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com
May 19, 2023 • 51min
65. Do I Qualify for a Collaborative Divorce? With Attorney, Kris Algert
Okay, WTF is a collabortive divorce and how would you know if you qualify for one? Today on our show, we have Austin attorney, Kris Algert, who is an EXPERT on collaborative divorces. A collaborative divorce is a dispute resolution process where both parties commit upfont that they will not go to court. Meaning, both parties are committed to being HONEST and WILLING to WORK TOGETHER to resolve issues. If you've wondered: Can I get a collaborative divorce? What's the difference between a collaborative divorce and regular divorce? Then this episode is for YOU! A collaborative divorce offers a unique way to resolve a divorce without spending a ton of money: less court fees, less time. HOWEVER, and this is BIG however, you need to understand that a collaboritve process is NOT for every divorcing couple. Make sure you listen to the episode to learn whether a collaborative divorce would be right for you. If you're interested in learning more about a collaborative divorce, make sure you ask a prosepctive divorce attorney these questions: 1) What percentage of your work is in doing collaborative divorces? 2) What do you view the benefits and the risks are for my case? 3) Ask what the likelyhood of success for their case to be resloved with a collaboritve divorce? To reach Kris Algert, please visit: Head here! Make sure you check out our private communites! Patreon: if you need to listen to our episodes privately http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com Facebook: if you need more support http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And make sure you're following us on Instagram!! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce
May 14, 2023 • 52min
64. How Can You Modify Your Child Support??
Child Support. You know it, you love/hate it. But what if you need to modify it? How do you modify child support post divorce decree? How can you get more child support? How do you know if you're paying too much in child support? Well, friends, we've got your answers right here on How Not to Suck at Divorce. Here's what you need to consider: What has changed? (finanically, you need a 10% or more swing in either direction. Needs with the children also weigh in here. Consider the past/present and future! Get your facts STRAIGHT (see if it's worth it before you persue Get a full strategy (ask you attorney for guidance here!!) Let's lighten things up here with the link to Andrea's amazon sneakers!! Let's see these sneakers!! Remember friends, we are here for you and would love to support you in anyway we can. For more support, please check out our private communities. http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com Patreon is for listeners who want extra BONUS episodes with private listening options, you can listen to our show without it being traced to your device! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity Our Private Facebook community is for anyone who wants more support! We love you all! Please message us with any questions and follow up on IG! http:www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce
May 3, 2023 • 1h 9min
63. The Problem with Some Therapists With Dr Bill Doherty
Let us start off by saying that we LOVE therapy. However, all therapists are NOT created equally and on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce we are looking at the problem that some therapists create for their clients. Okay...stay with us... Dr Bill Doherty is joining us on this very special episode to shed light on a topic that needs more attention. We want you to listen to this episode to truly disgest the ideas discussed, but for the show notes, we will leave you this: Be aware of comments that your individual therapist makes regarding your spouse or ex spouse without ever meeting them. Be even more aware of personality disorders that your individual therapist might claim your spouse or ex spouse has. This episode has LOTS of controvesial ideas, so please listen with an open mind. To find Dr Doherty online, please visit : http://www.discernmentcounseling.com As always, we bring the information you need while navigating your divorce, the entertainment you deserve and the empathy you are craving. We are here for you every single step of the way. Pre divorce, during your divorce, and post divorce. We will guide you, maybe make you laugh, and hopefully help you feel less alone. For more community, please join our Patreon and Facebook groups. You've got this and we've got you!
Apr 27, 2023 • 57min
62. The Real Deal on Nesting. With Author, Beth Behrendt
What is Nesting?? Nesting is when a divorced couple with children keep the children in the family home, or "nest", and the divorced parents spend their parenting time in the "nest" and their non parenting time outside of the "nest". The pros and cons to this lifestyle are varied, and that's exactly why we brought on Beth Behrendt, who's "nested" for many years and even wrote a book documenting not only her experience, but the experience of five other families. Listen to this episode to hear Morgan's legal questions regarding the topic and Andrea's slighty taboo questions on the sticky side of "nesting". This episode will open your eyes to a completley different approach to living with your children post divorce. This lifestyle is NOT for everyone. Please consult your attorney and therapist before venturing down the nesting road. To get your hands on a copy of Beth's book, Nesting After Divorce, head HERE! Beth also offers access to an exclusive group on Facebook to those who are "nesting curious" Facebook Group As ALWAYS, Morgan and Andrea are here to guide you, support you, and entertain you along your journey pre, during and post divorce. You've got this, and we've got you!!
Apr 20, 2023 • 1h 2min
61. Protect Yourself Online During Your Divorce!! Special Guest: Former FBI Task Force Leader, Steven Bradley
This podcast episode is not meant to scare you. It's meant to INFORM you. Please pay attention to the insight given by Steven Bradley and take note of these action steps. 1) Download the Avast App to protect your phone from spyware that can EASILY be installed for someone to track you and listen to your messages. 2) Install a VPN on your phone 3) Download the Tile App to help you detect traker devices You can also hire Steven to help you walk through what you need to do to protect yourself: http//:www.bradleytrainingconsulting.com Our Family Wizard is a parenting app that helps protect you during and post divorce. More on that app later! And now, a word from our sponsor: Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/notsuck. (See website for terms.)
Apr 13, 2023 • 56min
60. How the Hell Can You Practice Self Care During Your Divorce? With Lynne Goldberg Co-Founder of the Breethe App
"Self Care" can be MUCH easier than you think. Forget about the day at the spa or the daycation at the fancy hotels...those are great, but not everyone has the money and time!! Here's something that EVERYONE can do. Meditate. Stay with me. Meditation does not have to be so "woo woo" and for people who spend their afternoon hugging trees. Meditation is a really valuable way to help you get your sh$t together, for lack of a better expression! Listen to the calming voice and words from Lynne Goldberg, she's the co founder of the Breethe App, an app that's designed for the non meditator. You'll find quick and simple guided meditations that will help you reframe your mind and help you gear up for big moments in your divorce: signing agreements, mediation, etc. Just TRY it...what do you have to lose?? And you have EVERYTHING to gain! To download the Breethe App, head here: https://breethe.com And a note from our Sponsors: How Not To Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/notsuck. (See website for terms.) How Not To Suck at Divorce is also sponsored by Soberlink. Soberlink’s alcohol monitoring system is the simplest and most efficient way to prove sobriety during parenting time. As we always say, you’ve got this and we’ve got you, which is exactly why we’ve teamed up with Soberlink to give you $50 off your device. To sign up and claim your offer, visit www.soberlink.com/notsuck
Apr 6, 2023 • 60min
59. Divorce Support for MEN
Okay, boys, this one's for you! But girls, you should listen, too. There's some really helpful information given that we could all use! It's not just women who need community during a divorce. And it's often harder for men to ask for help. On this episode we talk to Mike Rosen, who hosts a virtual support group,(that doesn't suck), weekly, through a non profit organization called Men Living. The power of knowing that you're not alone can help move somebody forward that's exactly why this group exists. Mike equates the group to an "umbrella in a rainstorm"...and we ALL could use an umbrella in a rainstorm. So what's stopping you from checking this group out??? You can just listen on your first call, if that makes you feel more comfortable. This group is guys, just like you, from all around the world, here to vent, share, and help eachother through an exhuasting process. Be proactive and start the process of feeling better. And don't worry, this group is completely FREE. NO strings, NO scams. Click the link below the calendar page on the Men Living site. The group is held on Tuesday nights. When you click on the "VIRTUAL CALL – SEPARATION/DIVORCE SUPPORTSUPPORT FOR THOSE WHO ARE TOUCHED BY SEPARATION/DIVORCE" there will be a place for you to register. https://menliving.org/calendar-now/ So if you are wondering: Is there a divorce support group for men? How can men get free therapy? Where can I find a virtual support group for divorce? LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE! And remember to add yourself to our PRIVATE communites: http://www.patreon.com/hownototsuckatdivorce http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And follow us on Instagram! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce
Mar 30, 2023 • 33min
58. Should I Change or Keep My Last Name After My Divorce??
Inspired by a listener email, we bring you: "Should I Change or Keep my Last Name?" It can be a tough decision, but here's our bottom line: YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION RIGHT AWAY!! If you're struggling with: Is it okay if I have a different last name than my kids? Will keeping my spouse's last name prohibit me from moving on after my divorce? LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!! And don't forget, you have the option to keep your martial last name professionally, if that's the best decision for you, and you can go back to your pre marraige last name socially! As always, we suggest that you run these thoughts about your last name by your therapist to get their opinion. And Andrea wants you all to remember to not forget YOU in this decision making process. So often, we are consumed by what's best for our children-which is clearly important-but don't forget about you. Whatever you decide to do, just know that there's no rush in this decision. And yes, Major Dick Zucker is a real story. I know...I know. Hope this episode gave you some insight and a little giggle. Remember to join our private communities!! Patreon (for private listening and extra information) Private Facebook Community (for community and relatable content) And remember friends, we are here for you, always. Please message us with any questions! DM us on IG! You've Got This and WE'VE GOT YOU, Morgan & Andrea
Mar 20, 2023 • 57min
57. Gearing Up For Mediation with NYC Attorney and Mediator, Joy Rosenthal
Listen to this episode BEFORE you go into mediation. It IS possible to have a positive outcome from mediation, even if you feel like you your soon to be ex spouse agree on NOTHING. Here are 3 EXPERT tips (from a mediator herself) to help you reframe your mind before entering mediation: 1) You don't have to RESPECT your soon to be ex, but you still need to have some DIGNITY for them. In other words, treat them like a human who also has wants and needs (even if their wants and needs are questionable and they're acting like a total tool) 2)Start to think of the problem as something that's outside of you and your soon to be ex. Meaning, the issue is "who gets the kids this Christmas?" or "who gets the lake house?" or "who's going to get the collection of ketchup bottles?" (yes, that was an actual issue for one of Morgan's cases). The issue is not about YOU, and it's not about you soon to be ex, it's simply a "problem" that needs to be "solved". 3)Think about why you want what you say you want. This one is kinda about checking ego, and also just gaining some perspective on the situation. It's important to keep in mind that everyone loses something in a divorce. You're not gonna come of this thing with EVERYTHING you want, it just doesn't work like that. In fact, the old divorce joke goes, "if both parties are unhappy and feel they got cheated, then the attorneys did their job" I (Andrea) HATE that joke and it makes me want to scream, but that's the way it goes! And remember, mediaiton, divorce, all of this mess is just going to be ONE event that happened in your life. It's not your life, you have a lot more life to live when this is all behind you. To find Joy online (and if you're in the great state of NY and would like contact Joy, visit: www.joyrosenthal.com And to access her course, head here! https://courses.joyrosenthal.com/landing-on-your-feet We are here for you, and here to help you not suck at mediation. As always, please message us with questions! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce And join our private community! http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce
