How Not To Suck At Divorce
Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support—not drama, shame, or sugarcoating.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Mar 9, 2023 • 53min
56. How to Co Parent with an A$$hole!! (High Conflict Divorce Co Parenting) with Deb Conley
Chew on this: It's not the divorce that hurts the children; it's the conflict. Coparenting can be REALLY hard, everybody knows that. But coparenting with someone who's really difficult, and someone who gave you hell during your divorce process is reaaaaallllly hard, believe me, we know. We have heard it all. So what the hell can you do to make this situation work? Well, we are going to tell you! Today, on the show we have Deb Conley, a therapist who specializes in high conflict coparenting. Here are three ways you can reframe your mindset to help you BEGIN to coparent with someone who's not easy to coparent with: 1) Don't live in the past. (Look, we know they sucked when you were married to them, but not EVERYTHING they do as a coparent is sucking. Try your best to separate.) 2)Speak to them the way you would speak to a boss or a coworker. Take the emotion out of it. (Easier said that done, we know, but you have to reframe your mind to view this as a business relationship: the relationship of being effective coparents. 3) Let IT GO (of control) This one sucks, but it's important. You can't control everything. You just can't. You've got help yourself determine the issues that are MAJOR that warrant bringing up your concern to your coparent and things that you need to just LET GO OF. (If you are rolling your eyes and you want to scream, Andrea is with you. Having control is probably her favorite hobby) But wait, there's more!! Deb Conley offers a course you can take to help you be a better coparent. It's done virutally and not both you and your ex have to take it! (Although it does work better if you both take it!) To sign up for the course, email: paralegal.petrichlaw@gmail.com Subject Line: CoParenting Course In the body of the text, mention you heard Deb speak on How Not to Suck at Divorce and they'll be extra nice to you! Course is available to everyone. BONUS EPISODE on this topic over on our PATREON channel- go listen NOW! Aside from that, Morgan loves girls' trips, Andrea does not. Andrea is heading to Vegas this weekend with her kids to teach them how to gamble and party all night. (THAT'S A JOKE< CALM DOWN) love you guys! Hang in there!!
Mar 3, 2023 • 44min
55. If You Want to Keep the House... (The House Part 2)
Here are three action steps you can take to put you in the best position possible to keep your martial home. 1) Learn how to best refinance/look at a buyout 2) Get creative with negotiations 3) Remember to keep a business mindset (We go deep into all of these steps, so make sure you take a close listen to this episode!) If you've wondered: How can I refinace my home? How can I remove my ex spouse from my mortgage? How can I convince my ex to let me keep the house? How can I stay in my martial home? How can I pull equity out of my house to payback my ex? THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU! Also, we are doing two BONUS episodes for this topic, both of those will be available on our Patreon channel! www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce *one of our bonus episodes will be with a refinacing expert! aaaannnnnd Andrea is obsessed with the Target tank tops and they're only $8. So don't say we never nothin' for ya! Hang in there, friends. We know this process is hard, but you've got this, and we've got you.
Feb 23, 2023 • 49min
54. The House (Part 1)
The house. A hot topic during divorce. And for good reason; it's the house where you made lots of memories, especially if you have children together. But since the house is likely an asset that you have as a couple, now that you are divorcing, it's an asset that will need to be divided. So, what the hell should you do with the house?? If you've been googling: "Can I keep my house in my divorce?" "How can I figure out how much my house is worth?" "Do I have to split my house with my ex husband/wife?" Then this episode is for you! Let's break this down into three steps that you can take to help you through "the house" process: 1- Determine the value (either by getting it appraised or by getting a CMA- listen to the episode to learn what CMA stands for!) 2- Have a better understanding of what the court would decide to do with the house should you and your ex not reach a conclusion together (you will rely on your attorney heavily here) 3- Be prepared to negotiate with your ex. Kind of goes without saying, but keep in mind that house is something that can be used as leverage at some point in your divorce process. It's really difficult for a lot of us to view something as personal as our home as part of a business transaction, but that's exactly why we felt that this episode is so important. And stay tuned for part 2 of "The House" where we are going to give you some pro tips on what you can do if your wish is to keep the house! Oh, and Morgan is obsessed with Publix grocery stores...listen to episode to hear how she thought the name was pronounced when she was younger!! If you need Morgan or Andrea for more insight and guidance, please DM or email...or come find us at the nearest Publix in the bakery section!!
Feb 16, 2023 • 52min
53: A New Way to Heal from Divorce Trauma with Carrie Holladay
Attention: Andrea tried accupunture and she's OBSESSED. Did you know that accupunture can help with anxiety?? It can. I'm not lying. In you're in the Chicago area, PLEASE check out Chicago Family Accupunture in Northbrook, IL. 100% worth, tell them Andrea from How Not Suck at Divorce sent ya! http://www.instagram.com/chicagofamilyacu Okay, raise your hands if you're open to trying a new way of healing!! Apparently, talk therapy doesn't work for everyone who's stuggling with overcoming trauma. Today's guest, Carrie Holladay, is a trauma healing coach and she's giving us an overview on somanic healing and how it could possibly with for you. What is somantic healing? How to heal from trauma? How to heal from childhood trauma? How to heal from relationship trauma? This episode is leaning a little "woo woo", we know, but stay with us!! Healing doesn't look the same for everyone, and if you've tried everything else and it hasn't worked, why wouldn't you be open to something different?? Somatic healing works with your nervous system to help your body release the trauma that you're storing in your body. The process can happen in groups on in one on one sessions. And, it can be virtual! To find Carrie: IG: @healwithcarriejean https://www.instagram.com/healwithcarriejean/ IG: @healinghubclub https://www.instagram.com/healinghubclub/ TikTok: @healwithcarrie https://www.tiktok.com/@healwithcarrie?_t=8ZkIPxkaTL0&_r=1 https://www.myhealinghub.com/ Andrea is on board and ready to heal, Morgan is still shaking her head. Neither can pronounce "amygdala". Moral of the story: healing from trauma is possible and somatic healing is just one more tool to have in your toolbox on your healing journey. Got questions? Just ask us!
Feb 9, 2023 • 59min
52. How to Support Your Kids During Your Divorce with Sara Olsher
This episode is going to help you help your kids as you navigate your divorce. Meet Sara Olsher. She's the founder of a company called Mighty and Bright, a company dedicated to helping parents help their kids through difficult transitions, like a divorce. Mighty and Bright makes stylish coparenting calendars that are designed for your children! They are have books, games and tons of other resources!! And wise words from Sara: Here are three steps you can take to show your child EMPATHY: 1) Get on their level- physically. Speak to them eye to eye so you're not looking down to them when you're talking 2) Validate their emotions- refrain from using phrases like "don't cry". Let them cry. It's okay for your child to be upset. Validate their feelings by saying, "I know that you're feeling really upset right now. That's okay. I'm here for you" 3) When your child is hurt by the other parent's actions, you can tell them: "Mommy and Daddy love you very much. We do not mean to hurt your feelings and we are sorry that your feelings got hurt. Thank you for letting me know and I will make sure we do better." Go check out www.mightandbright.com to see how their resources can help you! And here's a special link to a book that Sara wrote to help talk to your kids about Divorce! Use CODE: DONTSUCKATDIVORCE for a special discount https://mightyandbright.com/products/ebook-how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-divorce And a nugget of wisdom from Morgan from our Fan Mail segment: If you find an attorney whom you cannot afford long term, but you really liked them ...you might want to consider paying them for a consultation. If can give you good feedback on your case!
Feb 2, 2023 • 35min
51. How to Get Divorced Without F@cking Up Your Kids
Can you get divorced without f@cking up your kids??? In short: yes. So, what can you do? If you are worried about screwing up your children by getting divorced, know this: 1) Your children are likely to sustain MORE damage by you NOT leaving an unhealthy marriage 2) There ARE things that you can do to help mitigate the pain your children experience during the divorce process! In order to not totally mess up your kids by getting divorced, we suggest you: 1) Get insight from a children's therapist on how to talk to your kids 2) Keep the information you give your kids age appropriate information 3) Assemble a community for them (Make sure you listen to this episode to hear why Andrea is so passionate about step #3!) Also, does anyone still watch the Real Housewives?? Andrea does, and make sure you listen to this episode to hear what Morgan thought of the hotel in Iceland that the Housewives cast stayed in a few years ago! And remember, you've got this...and we've got you!
Jan 26, 2023 • 43min
50. Save Money in Your Divorce (and Avoid the "Divorce Headache")
Are you worried about how much your divorce is costing you? Yeah, we bet you are. Well, lucky for you, listeners, we have you covered! Here are some helpful tips on how to save money and avoid a major headache in your divorce: *Have a PLAN (sounds obvious, but it's not) You and your attorney should have a plan in place- and know that it's likely that this plan will CHANGE *Be mindful with how and when you're communicating with your attorney (billable hours, friends!!) *Be prepared for the UNEXPECTED Avoid the "what the f#ck?!?" moments by ASKING your attorney what could possibly happen in your divorce case. And remember, it takes a team to help you through a tranisiton. If you are struggling with an alochol problem, Soberlink is here to help you. If your soon to be ex spouse is struggling with an alcohol problem and you're concern about their abilty to safely parent, Soberlink is here to help. Visit them: www.soberlink.com/notsuck You got this and we've got you.
Jan 19, 2023 • 45min
49. Divorcing and Still Living with Your Ex
You're getting divorced, which sucks. But now, you still have to temporarily live under the same roof as your EX!!!?? WTF. We know, we get it. On this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we are going to tackle the subject of what you can do to preserve your sanity while still living in the same house with your soon to be ex spouse. Questions like: Can I date other people before I get divorced? Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex? How will my ex and I figure out kid time? How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly? Will all be answered! We are nearing the end of season 3 of our show and we are SO GRATEFUL for all of our listeners. We know that you have a lot going on in your life right now and we are honored that you carve out some time to spend with us. We know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining. We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced. Please rate and reivew our show!! And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!!
Dec 30, 2022 • 29min
48. I Think I Want a Divorce
We know that you're tired of pretending that everything is okay. We know that your gut that your marriage is not going to work. So, now what? If you have wondered: "What do I do if I think I want a divorce?" - this episode is for you. If you're considering divorce but don't know where to begin, this episode is for you. If you're just miserable in your marraige, but feel stuck, this episode is for you. This podcast was designed to give you information, entertainment and empathy as you embark on the divorce process. We know that divorce is hard. We know that it's a long and draining process. We also know that life is so much better on the other side. Don't give up. Everyone deserves to be happy. You've got this and we've got you.
17 snips
Dec 22, 2022 • 55min
47. Expert Tips to Get What You Want in Your Divorce Mediation
How do I pick the right mediator for my divorce? What does a mediator actually do? How long does mediation typically last? How do you know if you should even try mediation?? If you have ever wondered the above questions, this episode is MUST LISTEN! Morgan and Andrea discuss everything you didn't know that you need to know BEFORE embarking on the mediation process. Remembering that we are here to help you not SUCK at getting divorced! Mediation helps you step out of the court system to come to a more creative solution for disagreements in your divorce process. Keep that in mind. Take a listen to this episode and please message us with any questions! Hit us up on social media! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce You've Got This and We've Got You!
