

How Not To Suck At Divorce
Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support—not drama, shame, or sugarcoating.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Oct 27, 2023 • 56min
86. The Real Divorce Attorneys of New York City (New York's Top Family Law Attorneys)
How do you know if you hired right divorce attorney for your case? This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is an inside peek into the minds and personalities of the top family law attorneys of New York City. Introducing: Michael Calogero https://www.cohenclairlans.com/attorneys/michael-calogero Lois Liberman https://www.blankrome.com/people/lois-j-liberman Nicky Rooz https://selwlaw.com/nicky-rooz/ Any divorce attorney can get you divorced, but who's going to the right person in your corner to help fight for what's most important to you and your children? In you're wondering: Which NYC divorce attorney has the best bedside manner? How do I know if I'm hiring the right divorce attorney? How much do divorce attorneys cost? How long will my divorce take? Take a listen to this very special episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce! a word from our sponsors... Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. Free tips and guidance for those navigating a challenging coparenting relationship available for our of our listeners, head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck For more support, join our private community on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Oct 20, 2023 • 40min
85. Your Divorce Doesn't Have to Ruin You Financially (Expert Tips from Advisor, Jennifer Lee)
If you feel overwhelmed by money, this episode is for YOU. Financial advisor and author of Squeeze the Juice, Jennifer Lee, spends times with us to day to give our listeners some expert tips so that their divorce doesn't ruin them financially. Here are some tips that can help you with getting a hold of your money: 1: Do a finanicial triage. (already overwhelmed???Jennifer is here to assist our listeners with this process) 2: Don't be an ostrich. (hiding your head in the sand will get you nowhere. Ask questions. Be brave and tell your attorney that you don't have all of the information they're asking you for. Bonus points if you're brave enough to contact Jennifer and ask a financial expert for help!!) 3: Don't give up on your money situation EVEN IF you made financial mistakes during your divorce process. Educate yourself and take BABY STEPS. Get curious about how you can improve your situation. Jennifer's book, Squeeze the Juice, is a FABULOUS place to start educating yourself. This book is story based, so it helps readers wrap their arms around the lessons. Get it here: Squeeze the Juice Do NOT JUDGE YOURSELF for not knowing EVERYTHING (or anything) about your finances. Just ask for help. Don't leave money on the table. Our listeners can do a FREE 15 call with Jennifer to see if can help you! https://calendly.com/Jennifermodernwealth a word from our sponsors Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Sign up for their FREE newsletter to get tips and tricks that can help you coparent better. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck For more support, join us in our private Facebook community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Oct 12, 2023 • 46min
84. I'm Worried About my Kids (Divorce and Children) **special re air**
It's what we all worry about the most in divorce: our kids. Will my kids be okay after the divorce? Will my divorce ruin my kids' lives? Is it fair to make my kids live in two houses? ****This is a special re air episode with Dr Randy Heller. We talk about what's in our control in regards to our childrens' emotional and mental wellbeing during and after the divorce process. There's a lot to digest here, so listen when you have sometime to yourself. Biggest takeway: Your kids will be okay if you are okay. To reach Dr Randy Heller please visit https://familynetworkflorida.com/ For more support with families, check out Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard makes communication between coparents easier. Learn more at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com And please, join our private community for more support and guidance. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Oct 5, 2023 • 60min
83. How Do I Prepare for my Divorce Trial?
How do you prepare if your divorce case is heading to trial? What are the steps that occur BEFORE your case heads to trial? What's the the difference between a trial and a hearing? What happens in pre trials/mini trials?? It's important that your attorney gives you realisitc expectations so that you know what a postive outcome would be, and what a "less than ideal" outcome would be. This way, you can be mentally and emotionally prepared. And remember, whereas we don't recommend switching attorneys right before you head into trial, but you CAN hire an attorney for an hour of their time to review your case. Meaning, if you want a second set of eyes on the results of your pre trial hearing- you can and should do that! It's money well spent. And if you do this, go with a good attorney- spend a little extra and get the best of the best to review your case. It will be money well spent. 3 Action Steps YOU can take to help you best prepare for trial: Know the risk/reward If you have a trial set- ask your attorney to prep with you (how to answer questions, etc) Ask for a plan for a trial (know what to expect!) And please excuse Andrea's cough...she's still recovering from Bronchitis. And send in your self care tips for both girls...they can use them! And now, a word from our sponsors: Soberlink offers peace of mind for coparents if there's a concern of alcohol use during parenting time. Visit: www.soberlink.com/notsuck Our family wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Check them out to see if Our Family Wizard can help you. Visit: www.ourfamilywizard.com We know that heading into trial is already a less than ideal situation. If your case is heading to trial and you want a second set of eyes on your case, reach out to get some names of attorneys to review your case. We're happy to help. Join our private community for more support. www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you're enjoying our show, we would SO APPRECIATE a 5 star rating and review! The ratings and reviews help us book the expert guests you deserve. We love and appreciate every single one of you. Thank you for allowings us into your homes/cars/minds/hearts. You've got this and we've got you!

Sep 28, 2023 • 47min
82. The Real Divorce Attorneys of Chicago (NEW SERIES!!)
Introducing: The Real Divorce Attorneys series- a spin off of How Not to Suck at Divorce. This series offers an exclusive sneak peek into the minds and personalites of family law attorneys to help you discover who might be the right fit for you. Today, we are introducting you to 4 of Chicago's TOP divorce attorneys. This episode gets crazy, so buckle up! And if you're already midway through your divorce process...or not in the Chicago area, fear not, this episode will give you a fresh prespective on your case, and probably make you laugh! We're covering: How much money will my divorce cost me? How long will my divorce take? Who's the best divorce attorney in Chicago? Best attorney in Chicago to counter a narcissist? To reach out to the attorneys you heard on today's episode, head here: Brian Blitz: https://www.bergerschatz.com/attorneys/brian-j-blitz/ Melissa Caballero Dunn: https://www.merelfamilylaw.com/attorneys/melissa-caballero-dunn/ Jessica Interlandi: https://www.sdflaw.com/team/detail/Jessica-bank-interlandi/bio Scott Kramer: https://www.gmrfamilylaw.com/scott And make sure you check out Our Family Wizard if you need extra support with coparenting. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com Join our private community for more insight and community! http:www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

Sep 24, 2023 • 41min
81. Should I Get Divorced? (Discernment Counseling- Special re-air)
Did you know there's an actual process that helps unhappy couples decide whether divorce is the right move??? We are releasing this re-air episode today because it's important to talk about options. Divorce is NOT the answer for every couple, and a lot of you are wondering, "is divorce right for me?" So, sit back, have an open mind...and take a listen. ***************************************************************************************** Would you benefit from Discernment Counseling? This week, we find out. The founder of discernment counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, joins us on the podcast. Not only did Dr. Doherty develop a specific type of counseling for couples where one is considering divorce, he's also been on Oprah not just once, but twice! From Harpo to How Not To Suck At Divorce, Dr. Doherty is moving up in the world, that's for sure. Discernment counseling is when one person is leaning OUT of the relationship and considering divorce and the other person is leaning IN and wants to try to make things work. This type of counseling gives people clarity and confidence based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in the marriage. Dr. Doherty answers the questions: What is discernment counseling? Does discernment counseling solve problems in the marriage? What are the differences between couples therapy and discernment counseling? How long is discernment counseling? What are the three paths of discernment counseling? How do I know if we should try couples therapy or discernment counseling? Stay until the end because Dr. Doherty blows the lid off traditional therapy and tells us he favorite type of wine (you won't believe his answer). You can find Dr. Bill Doherty and search for a local discernment counselor at discernmentcounselors.com. Please hit the 5 stars in your podcast app, we need the external validation, but more importantly, it helps our podcast show up in searches so we can help those who are struggling through the divorce process. Remember, you got this and we got you. Slide into our dms, we love hearing from you! @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

Sep 17, 2023 • 1h 2min
80. What MUST go in your Parenting Agreement- Special Re-Air!!!
***Listen carefully to learn what MUST go in your parenting agreement!! This is a special re air from a few seasons ago! Shana Tova to those who celebrate! ********* This is no episode for babies (no offense, babies). We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kiddos first in your parenting agreement. Today, we have therapist Dr. Malissa Tigges with us to talk about how to create a parenting agreement that prioritizes the welfare of your kids. Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. She helps people make the best decisions possible when developing their parenting agreements. Dr. Tigges, Morgan and Andrea answer: What do divorcing couples need to understand when putting together their parenting agreement? How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children. The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement. What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager? Can you modify a parenting agreement? Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child? Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks? What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary? What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement? What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand. Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned? Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos". Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges: @drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out! OBSESSED: This week Andrea is obsessed with a non-medicated inhaler that has been scientifically proven to calm anxiety. It's called CalmiGo. It measures how much air you exhale and will vibrate when you exhale properly to help you regulate your breathing. It helps Andrea feel more grounded and has made her realize how shallow she typically breathes during the day. It's genius. CalmiGo sent the inhaler to Andrea after she posted the instagram reel of the time she was in the hospital for a panic attack. But please know, we do not recommend products just because we got one free. We will only recommend products we truly love and use. And this is one of those, for sure. If you go to Andrea's IG and click the link in her bio, you'll get a $30 off coupon. Don't miss the very end of the episode because we talk about how it has just been discovered that honey bee venom can kill breast cancer cells. Amazing! There's also a new study on a possible cure for lupus and other autoimmune diseases AND, new developments on slowing the progression of Alzheimer's. We love ending the show with some positivity :) To our one listener in Honduras, we see you and adore you. Thank you for being here with us. xo We'd love to know what you think of the show! Please email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com or dm us at: @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago You can also reach out to us through our website: www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com We read every message and reply personally because our community means the world to us and we want you to know we're here for you. You got this and we got you.

Sep 7, 2023 • 59min
79. Trauma Healing with Brainspotting. With Trauma Therapist, Lauren Auer
WOW. This episode is powerful. If you're new to our show, welcome. On How Not to Suck at Divorce, we walk you through the divorce process from "I think I want a divorce" to "I'm divorced, now what?!" and EVERYTHING that happens between. For many of us, our divorce comes with a "healthy" dose of trauma. Now, this term is certainly a buzz word right now that's often misused, so listen closely as our special guest, trauma therapist, Lauren Auer, digs into what trauma really is and how you can begin to heal from it. Heard the phase, "the issue's in the tissues"? Well, that's becuase trauma tends to make a little home in our bodies and gets so damn comfortable that it doesn't want to leave. For this reason, traditional talk therapy doesn't always "do the trick" to subside the symptoms of trauma...(more on thse symptoms in the episode!). Techniques like EMDR and Brainspotting can be quite helpful will working through a trauma block. On this episode, Lauren walks Andrea through a brainspotting exercise and it's...powerful. This episode will help you learn some tricks that you can apply EASILY to help yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and panic, as a result from trauma. To reach Lauren and learn more about her services, you can find her here: https://steadfastcounseling.com And to find her on IG to watch her viral reels and techniques, head here: https://instagram.com/steadfastcounseling And now, a word from our sponsors... If your coparent is adding to the TRAUMA in your day, then friend, please check out Our Family Wizard. At Our Family Wizard, they strive to make coparenting easier...even for the biggest PIA cases. https://www.ourfamilywizard.com We are here for you. You can do this. Come join our community. https://www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

Aug 31, 2023 • 1h 6min
78. The Wild World of Canadian Divorces! With Amanda Silver and Alex Howard of Dirty Laundry Podcast
Morgan is sick tonight but Andrea is holding down the fort over here at How Not to Suck at Divorce headquarters and joining her are the hosts of the Dirty Laundry podcast, Amanda Silver and Alex Howard. Amanda and Alex are both mediators in Toronto and they blow Andrea's mind on this episode with all of the wild ways that Canadian divorces are different than divorces here in the United States. Did you know that Canadians must have a period of separation before even filing for a divorce? And if you've ever googled: Are attorney assisted divorces as common in Canada as it is in the United States? What does mediation look like in Canada? How long does a divorce process take in Canada? What's the role of a mediator in Canada? Do Canadians really love maple syrup that much? Then you FOR SURE want to take a listen to this episode! If you're in the Toronto area and Amanda and Alex caught your attention (and we're sure they did) here's how you can reach them!! http://www.midtownmediation.ca To reach Alex https://www.foresthillmediation.com To reach Amanda And if you needing more support with your difficult coparent, we got you! Go check out our friends at Our Family Wizard. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com See you guys next week! (and don't worry, Morgan will be back!!)

Aug 24, 2023 • 1h 7min
77. The One About Blending Families (plus a BIG announcement).With Ron Deal
Spolier Alert: If you don't want to hear about life after divorce, this episode is NOT for you. What happens if you meet someone you really love after being divorced? At what point to decide to blend your lifes? And what about the kids?? We need a roadmap on blending familes. How to do it. When to do it. How to have the right coversations. Who to have those conversations with and when do you have them....and the list goes on! On this very special episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we are talking all things blending families (for a very special reason, which you'll hear about in the episode). To help us navigate these waters, we brought in blending families expert, Mr Ron Deal. (or as we call him, "Ron BIG Deal"). Ron has written NINE books on the subject, and let me tell you, this guy is the REAL DEAL...not just the "big deal"!! This episode will teach you the magic of making stew. Family stew, that is. (more on that in the episode) If you've ever wondered if it's possible to blend families with children of different ages, this episode is for you. If you're feeling anxious about getting remarried because you're wondering how your kids will reaact, this episode is for you. Listen, lean back, take a breath, and learn. To find Ron online and his library of books, head here :http://smartstepfamilies.com To join our private communites, check us out here: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity Sending you all so much love and hope for what's possible!


