How Not To Suck At Divorce
Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support—not drama, shame, or sugarcoating.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Feb 2, 2024 • 46min
96. You've Been Served with Divorce. Now What??? (The First Steps)
In today’s episode, Andrea and Morgan discuss what happens AFTER you’ve been served with a petition for divorce…aka “dissolution of marriage”. So if you’ve wondered: How do I choose the right 🤷🏻♀️divorce attorney? How do I manage 🤦🏼♂️ divorce stress? Who can help me understand 🙅🏻♀️ divorce documents? Then this episode is for YOU. You deserve the right guidance and mindset is CRUCIAL. Divorce is a journey that can be navigated with resilience and grace, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you practical advice, and a much-needed dose of humor. ********** If alcohol is an issue and you’re concerned about your kids’ safety during your co-parent's parenting time, please check out Soberlink. http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Vist the link to get $50 off your device. And if you want more guidance and support in regards to co-parenting, head over to Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard is here to make co-parenting EASIER. Click on this → link ← to get free access to communication tips that will save you time, money, and a big fat headache! Please visit our private communities for more. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And follow us on IG! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce
Jan 26, 2024 • 50min
95. Choosing to Heal from Your Divorce (Real Life Divorce Story). With Monica Leigh
You gotta hear this episode. The end of Moncia's marriage involved betrayal, alcohol abuse, and porn addiction. What's fascinating about her experience is not what she went through, but how she CHOSE to heal. When Monica and her now ex husband entered couples therapy, they also did individual therapy, and Monica join a support group. In that support group, she found perspective and reflection. With that, she was able to see that there was a role that SHE PLAYED in the breakdown of the marriage. Now, it's not to say that anything that Monica did or didn't do caused her husband to make his choices. Rather, Monica was able to see that some of her behavior came from a strong desire to control a situation, what wasn't helping anything. Once she was able to let go and accept her husband for who he was, everthing changed. Yes, their divorce process began, but so did Monica's beautiful healing process. Fast forward to the present day: Monica is sharing her dinner table with her exhusband, their children, AND her new boyfriend. You can see for yourself on her IG: https://www.instagram.com/monicaleighblog/ She now hosts her own podcast: Choosing to Heal with Monica Leigh She also runs her own support community for other women looking to heal! Check it out! https://monicaleighblog.com/community This episode should give you hope and inspiration. Please visit our private communities for more. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And follow us on IG! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce
Jan 19, 2024 • 48min
94. A Different Way to Heal from Trauma. With Dr Melissa Kalt
if you are not quite ready for divorce and want to listen to this episode without downloading it to your device, you are welcome to subscribe to our Patreon channel, where, for $4.99 a month, you can access our entire library of episodes Trauma makes a home in our bodies. Recent studies have shown that traditional talk therapy might not be enough to help people recover from trauma. (eye roll) Great. So, now what?? This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce features Dr Melissa Kalt. Dr Melissa is a triple board certified physician turned trauma healer. Dr Melissa offers group programs and 1:1 services for people wanting to heal from their trauma. She even met with Andrea in December. Be sure to listen to Andrea's experience and how Dr Melissa was able to pinpoint her pain and help her release it. Something to note is that the trauma lives in our bodies because of the story we told ourselves about the traumatic event, not so much the event itself....food for thought. (Poor Morgan found this topic to get a little too "woo woo" for her at times...what do you think??) The takeaway here is that if you are suffering, you deserve not to suffer. If trauma healing can help you, why wouldn't you try it? You can access Dr Melissa's FREE 5-part masterclass, "Hack the Confidence Rollercoaster" at confidencerollercoaster.com Join Antifragile Rebels at antifragilerebels.com **Remember to use coupon code NOTSUCK50 for 50% off each month! Learn more on her website at melissakaltmd.com You can also find Dr Melissa at the below sites: https://www.quora.com/profile/Dr-Melissa-Kalt-MD https://antifragilenarcissistsurvivorswithdrmelissa.quora.com/ https://medium.com/@MelissaKalt https://www.facebook.com/melissakaltmd/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-kalt-md/ https://www.pinterest.com/melissakaltmd/ https://twitter.com/melissakaltmd https://www.instagram.com/melissakaltmd/ And remember, our private FB community is here to support you. Please join! Join FB Group Here You can do this, friends. It won't be easy, but we'll help you through it. You've got this. And we've got you.
Jan 12, 2024 • 50min
93. When You're Stuck Living with Your Ex
For many people getting divorced, it's inevitable that you're going to be stuck for a certain period of time, living with your ex. And yes, that's going to suck. Luckily, we have some insight on the situation that we want to share with you. This episode is a re air from a few seasons ago. We are coming to you with a FRESH, BRAND NEW episode next week! So take a listen to "When You're Stuck Living with Your Ex" to get your questions answered. Questions like: Can I date other people before I get divorced? Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex? How will my ex and I figure out kid time? How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly? And friends, we know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining. We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced. Please rate and reivew our show!! And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce And join our private communities! https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce - for those needing to listen to our private library http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity - for those looking for community and a place to ask quesitons!
Dec 15, 2023 • 28min
92. How to Survive the Holidays When You're Miserable (6 Pro Tips from your Divorce Besties)
This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponspored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at http://www.betterhelp.com/notsuck and get on your way to being your best self. We want to help you survive the next few weeks. The holiday season is a stressful time, in the BEST of situations. But if you're also navigating a divorce or considering divorce, then you're managing and extra set of stress and unhappiness that's likely making the next few weeks a really tough time. Here's how we can help. Here are 6 pro tips from Morgan and Andrea. You ready for them? Let's go! Set some realistic expectations. Surprises make for more unhappiness. Keep busy. Prep your family on how to handle themselves around you (tell Aunt Beatrice to not ask you questions) and possibly your ex. Watch the cheesy holiday movies, we're talking the REALLY cheesy ones, Hallmark channel style. Nothing bad happens in these movies and it makes for great background noise Just say no to parties you don't want to attend. Nobody really cares. Move your body. It's so damn important. If it's really cold where you live, walk around the mall, or even around a Target. And please, join our private communites for extra support! Here are the links: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you need to listen to our episodes discreetly (for those of you who aren't ready to file for divorce and don't want this show popping up on your subscription list) https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce FYI: it’s a private community that does have a small fee. $4.99 a month to get all of the episodes discreetly. Ideal for if you don’t want your spouse seeing that you’re listening to the show. We’re adding to this channel everyday- so soon there will videos there too. The charge shows up as “Patreon” which is just a platform for additional podcasts. Also! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. AND, you can get free information on coparenting and handling sticky situations! Head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Dec 8, 2023 • 55min
91. Should I Stay or Should I Go? The Decision to Divorce. With Kate Anthony.
Kate Anthony, host of The Divorce Survivial Guide, is chatting with us tonight to offer another tool to help you at the beginning of your divorce process. The "D" Word, a new book out by Kate, will offer you a lot of insight and guidance as you decide, "should I stay or should I go?" Should I stay married for my kids? Does this count as abuse? Why am I so unhappy? What does a healthy relationship even look like? If the above quesitons sound familar to you...go grab a copy of Kate's book. https://www.amazon.com/Word-Making-Ultimate-Decision-Marriage/dp/0806542357 Our hope is that this conversation helps you feel like someone gets what you're going through. We know that the decision to divorce is not easy. We know that there there are a multitude of emotions that fly through your head and heart and that you likely feel an incredible amount of weight on your shoulders. Our advice? Talk about these thoughts and feelings. Get your butt in therapy. Start getting honest with yourself about what you want for your life and for your kids' lives. Take responsibility in the role that you play in not only your marraige but also in your life in general. A now, a word from our sponsors: Treat yourself to the softest sheets this holiday season. Visit http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save up to 35% ! Our Family Wizard is here to help make coparenting easier. And if you could use some additional support regarding coparenting, do yourself a favor and sign up for their FREE newsletter: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And visit Kate Anthony's site to learn more about her podcast and everything else that she has to offer. She's a wealth of support and guidance. https://kateanthony.com And if you need access to our private library, to listen to all of our episodes in the most discreet way, please sign up for our subscription service. http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And our free community over on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity
Dec 1, 2023 • 56min
90. What to do if You're Not Quite Ready for Divorce
"I'm just going to make it through the holidays" "I think I can hang on a little bit longer" "It's just not the right time." There's no good time to get divorced. But there's (of course) a TON of reasons that come into consideration when someone decides when to file. So what should you do when you know you want to leave, but you're not quite ready for divorce?? 1- EDUCATE YOURSELF. This is your time to gather as much information as possible. Listen to this show, ask questions..join our private communites. 2- TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. In most cases, you don't need to hire someone until you're ready to file, but you should certainly start the interview process. Remember, we suggest you interview 3 attorneys before hiring someone. 3-START PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO MONEY. We're talking about money coming in and money going out. (see our previous episodes about $$ to get more guidance here) 4-THERAPY. Get your butt in therapy. Now. In fact, stop this podcast and go. You deserve support and BTW, so do your kids. In fact, the waitlsits right now for childrens' therapists are INSANE so start doing research now and get on those lists for therapists that would right to help your family. Being proactive vs reactive is ALWAYS the better choice. What should you NOT do?? 1- Take to social media. Don't change profile pictures or start bringing attention to yourself until you know exactly what you're doing and prepared to answer questions 2- Go spending a ton a money. 3-If you're already in another relationship- DON'T make extravegant purchases or travel plans. Especially depending on the state you live in. And if you are in another relationship, don't conceal this fact from your attorney. You need to have an open and honest relationship with your divorce attorney and they cannot fully support and advise you if they don't know all of the facts. And if you need more insight and want the most discreet way to listen to this show, join our community on Patreon. This community offers you our entire library of episodes that you can access without needing to suscribe to our show. This channel will also hold bonus interviews and conversations that will help you as you make your decision and support you along the way. http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And now, a word from our Sponsors, Don't sleep on those old sheets that you shared with your ex, omg, YUCK!! Treat yourself this holiday season with the luxious sheets from Cozy Earth. Vist http://www.cozyearth.com and use code HNTSAD to save up to 35%!!! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Make sure you sign up for their free newsletter at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Nov 22, 2023 • 58min
89. I Hate the Holidays Without my Kids. With Lisa McGregor (founder of the Unplanned Chapter)- Special Re Air!
For those of you who are facing the holidays WITHOUT your kids, let us reassure that your feelings dread and sorrow are completely normal. Even if you're feeling mixed emotions, THAT'S completely normal. It's a dramatic change from how things used to be. It can feel strange...empty...and just plain wrong. We can promise you this: you WILL get through these holidays...even though they might be challenging. Listen to this special re- air episode with our friend, Lisa McGregor, to hear her take on what she did to help herself get through those first few years...you hear Andrea weigh in as well- her take is a little different. And here are some updated action steps from Andrea: Let yourself feel sad. Pretending you're okay when you're not does you no favors. Move your body. We're not asking you to run a mile, but we are asking you to go for a walk. Do something, anything. You don't need to go our and party all night, but grabbing a fresh Starbucks at least gets you out of the house. And now, a word from our sponsors: Treat yourself to some new sheets, don't sleep on those same sheets you shared with your ex, YUCK. Cozy Earth is all about LUXURY!! Visit : http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save 35%!!! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. Visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to sign up for their FREE newsletter and learn our OFW can help YOU! Join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you need to listen to our episodes privately: http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce
Nov 17, 2023 • 1h 2min
88. Grieving Your Marriage and Processing Divorce. With Rebecca Feinglos
**This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Better Health. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/NOTSUCK and get on your way to being your best self.** Why is it that we don't allow ourselves to grieve the loss of a relationship?? It's time we change that. We are chatting with Rebecca Feinglos, founder of Grieve Leave, an organization that makes grieving death, divorce, job loss, etc more accessible and without the STIGMA. Rebecca has experience grief of several levels. Yes, she's been through a divorce. She's also lost both of her parents. Her mother died when she was young and her father recently died on the first day of the COVID-19 lockdown. She ended her marriage one year after her father died. So what, actually, is grieving?? How do you grieve? Do you have to grieve? How do you know if you are grieving?? Can you grieve if you wanted the divorce?? (yes, of course) In divorce, we often will grieve the loss of what could have been...the life that we thought we were going to have... And what about our jobs and bosses understanding how to support you in your grief process?? And while we're on the topic, let's debunk the myth of the "5 Stages of Grief". Look, friends, this phrase comes from a study that was performed in the 1970's and was centered around cancer paitents. As it turns out, there are NOT "stages" of grief that you go through and then you magically "finish" the grief process. Sorry... grief is not linear. It's up and down, side to side, and is ongoing. Not everyday will be gutwrentching, but there's not "finish line". And for this reason, Grieve Leave exists. Grieve Leave offers virtual support groups for people managing the grief process. There are many different types of groups and whole lot more insight, guidance and community available. Visit them at: https://www.grieveleave.com . You can also find them on social media at: http:www.instagram.com/grieveleave And now, a word from our sponsors: Soberlink offers alcohol montitoring in the most discreet way with the highest technology. Visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER (isn't that nice??) Visit http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to get access to their newsletter. Thanks for being here, friends. Remember, we are here to support you in any way we can. If you are considering divorce and would like to be in our private community to listen to our episodes without downloading them to your device: join us here: http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And if you want to join our free Facebook community, head here: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity
Nov 3, 2023 • 1h 1min
87. Divorcing a Narciss*st
**This episode is sbrought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/NOTSUCK and get on your way to being your best self.** Alright, here's the deal. Divorcing someone with a "type 2" personality disorder is NOT a walk in the park. AND there ARE things that you can do to help preserve your sanity... Let's start here: EXPECT IT TO SUCK. That may sound hard, but baby, if your marriage was a shitshow, so will your divorce. It'll be worth it, but it's gonna be a mental and emotional battle. So how do you go into war being as prepared as possible? Arm yourself BOUNDARIES. Historically, type 2 personalites hate boundaries and rarely respect them, so it's crucial that you put strong ones in place that YOU can enforce. One suggestion that we have is to utilize a coparenting app, specifically, Our Family Wizard. Why? Because this app was designed to help high conflict coparents communicate LESS. Our Family Wizard is an easy to use app that will help you organize your parenting schedule, shared expenses, and even allow you and your ex exchange (what can be) court monitored messages. Now, please keep in mind that just because you use an app like Our Family Wizard DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE ABUSE WILL STOP. That's really important to note. However, using Our Family Wizard will allow you the ability to gain CONTROL. You can even establish the ONE time of day that you have to read (the obnoxious) messages from your ex. It's also the safest way for high conflict coparents to communicate...for those who are in a dangerously contentious situation. Listen to the words of our guest, family law attorney, Katharine Rupp, who PERSONALLY uses OUR FAMILY WIZARD. This woman literally practices law and she herself has had experience with gaslighting, mental and emotional abuse. You're not crazy. You're not making this up. You deserve to live a happier and healthier life. You need an exit stradegy. You need a plan. We are here to help you. If you are contemplating divorce and want a private community to ask questions, listen to our episodes WITHOUT them being downloaded to your phone and have access to BONUS conversations with experts, please join our private group: https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce This episode is sponsored by Soberlink. If you are concerned about your coparents sobriety during their parenting time, please check out Soberlink :http:www.soberlink.com/notsuck And visit Our Family Wizard and sign up for their newsletter to get some tips and tricks that can make coparenting easier for you. :http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck You've got this. And we've got You.
