Scratch That: Parenting & ReParenting Off Script

Today on Scratch That we are the ones being interviewed! Caitlin's wise and warm BFF, Kaplan Trudo is wading into the process of deciding whether or not to pursue becoming a parent and wants to hear from us. How did we decide we wanted to become parents? What does it feel like to co-parent with another person? They dig in with questions we never thought to ask before becoming parents ourselves. Want more of Kaplan? You can find their writing and some yoga practices (recorded as love notes to Caitlin 🥹) on Patreon or follow their Instagram.Tune in to hear us talk about:🔍 What becoming parents showed us about our partners and how it shifted our relationships.✅ The one thing Rebekah wishes she'd thought more about before becoming a parent.🕸️ Parenting as a big group project.🧑‍🧒‍🧒 Caitlin's epiphany about their relationship with their partner as the third client in the therapy room.🏆 A reframe for the parent who really, really wants to "get it right."👴 Staying connected to our children/parents as we all get older.🎮 What happens when our values don't align with our co-parents?Mentioned In Today's Episode:Our conversation with Shane and Hannah Burcaw where they describe their thoughts on intergenerational living.Our conversation with Kate Wieners where she talks about using percentage ratings for how important something is to each partner.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What question do you think prospective parents should be asking? What questions do you have about parenting? Or what questions do you wish you'd asked before you became one?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

In a creative endeavor, the hosts tackle the challenge of writing a family manifesto with their loved ones. They share the highs and lows of the experience, revealing personal insights about family dynamics. The discussion dives into how the process opens up communication and understanding. Manifestos are painted as living documents, capturing evolving family values over time. The conversation also touches on the healing power of second chances in relationships and the joy of expressing family love through music and creativity.

This discussion is a refreshing take on parenting goals we can let go. The hosts explore the balance between guiding children and allowing them autonomy, using a gardening metaphor. They share insights on nurturing creativity over maintaining a perfect home, and how to create emotional space at mealtimes. The conversation highlights the importance of prioritizing what truly matters in family life while reflecting on the pressures we place on ourselves. It’s all about embracing chaos and redefining success in parenting!

Join the insightful S. Bear Bergman, a master storyteller and author known for his groundbreaking parenting guide. He discusses how his flexible and inclusive approach to parenting contrasts with traditional advice. Hear him reveal a two-ingredient recipe for connection, the value of trial and error, and strategies for chaotic moments. Bergman emphasizes shifting from control to collaboration, letting go of rigid priorities, and nurturing family dynamics like a garden. Plus, find out which kids' shows he can't stand!

How do we talk to our kids about war, death, families being separated, floods, guns, violence, any of it? Should we shield them as much and as long as possible? Should we hold their hand as we tell them what we know to be real? How do we balance protecting our kids with equipping them? These questions feel important, the stakes feel high, we're doing our best, and making it up as we go. Today we dive into it as we try to figure out how we want to navigate the conversations that scare us.Tune in to hear us talk about:🫟 The sticky conversations Caitlin loves diving into with their kid and why some topics feel so much harder.🇺🇸 How our parents' talked with us about politics in the 90s.🪦 The very different responses we had to our kids seeing dead animals and the one thread we share.📚 How Caitlin is using books and stories as invitations and bridges into hard conversations.🪧 The conversations Rebekah had with a fellow protester that illuminated how she wants to move through today's politic landscape with her son.⚙️ A potentially measured and responsible new strategy to equip our kids for the scary realities of today's world.Mentioned In Today's Episode:What Makes a Baby by Cory SilverbergAs Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What helps you navigate conversations (with your kids or anyone else!) about the scary things happening in the world right now? And what book recommendations do you have? For any age! What are the book that are helping you understand our history and humanity?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

A year ago, Kate Wieners quit her corporate job to open a cozy, plant-filled bookstore, Monstera's Books. And while it sounds like the pitch for a movie we'd all love, today Kate talks with us about the real-life, fleshed-out story. What stars had to align for her to leave the "good enough" setup she already had for the risk of a dream? What has it been like to be a partner and a parent as she makes this great leap? What is it like to create a third-space community around books and storytelling right now? And does the nervous-scary of a big risky dream ever go away?Tune in to hear us talk about:☎️ The story of the old 70s phone they use in the store and all the ways it sets the tone for the shop.💫 What Kate's husband Justin said when he heard her name her bookstore dream out loud at a party.％ The strategies Kate and Justin have developed to navigate living, parenting, and working together.🔧 The big and unexpected monkey wrench in their plans and how that became the scary ideal way to actually launch their plans.🔔 The epiphany Kate had while waiting for someone else to tell her she had a brilliant plan.🌿 Why Kate thinks Monstera's Books is a worthy competitor to Amazon.🫟 Just making the next decision and getting comfortable with chaos.📚 The conversation Kate overheard in the bookstore that highlighted the unique power of third spaces (especially ones that center storytelling).💓 The tremendous value/power of little risks. (Or how something as simple as a romance bookclub could save someone's life.)✨ How paying attention to the sparkle dream in ourselves can meet a much larger need in our communities.⚡️ What Kate hopes her daughters take away from growing up in this bookstore.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Two books recommended by Monstera's Books patrons – The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese and A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. MaasTwo of Kate's top book recommendations – I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes with Death by Maggie O'Farrell and Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghyAs Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! Shout out your favorite local bookstore! Tell us about your favorite third space! Share a little or big dream that's been tugging at your chest! We're here for all of it💛🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

The hosts explore how toddlers can teach us about learning at all ages. They discuss the importance of fostering curiosity and creating safe spaces that nurture emotional well-being. The conversation highlights the need to embrace mistakes and prioritize genuine exploration over grades. They also emphasize the value of rest and play in the learning process, advocating for personalized learning paths that cater to individual styles. It’s a lively examination of what it means to truly engage with education.

As we kick off Pride month, we turn over what it means to bring a new person into a scary world, especially as a queer parent, and the ways pregnancy has helped Caitlin understand and live out their gender.Tune in to hear us talk about:🫢 A super big announcement!❓ Asking questions to understand the ways we experience pregnancy and parenthood differently.⚖️ Caitlin processing the need they felt to choose between being visibly queer and keeping their kids safe in public.🏳️‍🌈 Why being pregnant with Charlie propelled Caitlin to come out as nonbinary.🔔 The moment Caitlin rung the bell that could not be unrung and showed up as their nonbinary self to people that mattered.👥 Modeling for our kids an alignment in how we show to the world and how we show up inside our homes.Mentioned In Today's Episode:If you'd like to swaddle Caitlin in a little care for this new being that's coming to be, check out their registry here 💛As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! Drop your thoughts on this conversation below💛🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Today on Scratch That we chat with one of the most beloved couples on the internet – Squirmy and Grubs! (Also known as Shane and Hannah Burcaw🤗) They talk with us about what it's like to share their personal lives with an enormous following, how they cope with internet hate and real life ignorance about disability/relationships, why they wrote their new book Interabled: True Stories of Love and Disability, the perspective they've gained through their experience with IVF, and loads more! There was much giggling. There were sobering truths. There was a story about the time Hannah ate edibles and then thought a real life witch approached them on the street. We're so excited to share this one with you💛Tune in to hear us talk about:🤡 Little Shane and Little Hannah as two rule-following class clowns.🧑‍🦼The shame Shane had about his disability when he was younger and the coping mechanisms he developed to be seen as fully human.💞 Why we think so many people struggle to understand how disability, care giving, and romantic relationships can co-exist.📣 Why Shane and Hannah continue to share their stories publicly, even when their comment sections fill up with ignorance and hate.🛠 The tools Hannah & Shane have found to protect themselves from ignorance.⚡ Disability as a disruption to narrow expectations around traditional gender norms and inter-generational living.🗺The perspective they've gained from their IVF experience.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Shane and Hannah's book, Interabled: True Stories of Love and DisabilityAnd their YouTube channel, Squirmy and GrubsSara Hendren's book What Can a Body Do?And here is an interview Sara Hendren did with Krista Tippett on the On Being podcast about an obligation to others as valuable within human society.The 3 songs Hannah and Shane added to our collective Scratch That Spotify playlist – Fortune Teller by Sea Lemon, Get Better by alt-J, and look up by Joy Oladokum.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! 🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

If love incarnate was sitting beside you today, what would they say to you? Today we offer you a little practice that we learned from the one-and-only Elizabeth Gilbert – Letters from Love. We share a tiny how-to and then dive into reading some of our own letters, Caitlin as a seasoned veteran and Rebekah as a fresh newbie. You're invited to write your own letter, too, but even if you don't, we hope this especially tender episode brings you some kind of love today.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Here is Elizabeth Gilbert's how-to guide on Letters from Love on her Substack by the same name.Caitlin made a print of the phrase that came to Rebekah in her Letter from Love! You can purchase it for $5 here💌As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What would Love have you know today?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨