Scratch That: Parenting & ReParenting Off Script

As we kick off Pride month, we turn over what it means to bring a new person into a scary world, especially as a queer parent, and the ways pregnancy has helped Caitlin understand and live out their gender.Tune in to hear us talk about:🫢 A super big announcement!❓ Asking questions to understand the ways we experience pregnancy and parenthood differently.⚖️ Caitlin processing the need they felt to choose between being visibly queer and keeping their kids safe in public.🏳️‍🌈 Why being pregnant with Charlie propelled Caitlin to come out as nonbinary.🔔 The moment Caitlin rung the bell that could not be unrung and showed up as their nonbinary self to people that mattered.👥 Modeling for our kids an alignment in how we show to the world and how we show up inside our homes.Mentioned In Today's Episode:If you'd like to swaddle Caitlin in a little care for this new being that's coming to be, check out their registry here 💛As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! Drop your thoughts on this conversation below💛🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Today on Scratch That we chat with one of the most beloved couples on the internet – Squirmy and Grubs! (Also known as Shane and Hannah Burcaw🤗) They talk with us about what it's like to share their personal lives with an enormous following, how they cope with internet hate and real life ignorance about disability/relationships, why they wrote their new book Interabled: True Stories of Love and Disability, the perspective they've gained through their experience with IVF, and loads more! There was much giggling. There were sobering truths. There was a story about the time Hannah ate edibles and then thought a real life witch approached them on the street. We're so excited to share this one with you💛Tune in to hear us talk about:🤡 Little Shane and Little Hannah as two rule-following class clowns.🧑‍🦼The shame Shane had about his disability when he was younger and the coping mechanisms he developed to be seen as fully human.💞 Why we think so many people struggle to understand how disability, care giving, and romantic relationships can co-exist.📣 Why Shane and Hannah continue to share their stories publicly, even when their comment sections fill up with ignorance and hate.🛠 The tools Hannah & Shane have found to protect themselves from ignorance.⚡ Disability as a disruption to narrow expectations around traditional gender norms and inter-generational living.🗺The perspective they've gained from their IVF experience.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Shane and Hannah's book, Interabled: True Stories of Love and DisabilityAnd their YouTube channel, Squirmy and GrubsSara Hendren's book What Can a Body Do?And here is an interview Sara Hendren did with Krista Tippett on the On Being podcast about an obligation to others as valuable within human society.The 3 songs Hannah and Shane added to our collective Scratch That Spotify playlist – Fortune Teller by Sea Lemon, Get Better by alt-J, and look up by Joy Oladokum.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! 🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

If love incarnate was sitting beside you today, what would they say to you? Today we offer you a little practice that we learned from the one-and-only Elizabeth Gilbert – Letters from Love. We share a tiny how-to and then dive into reading some of our own letters, Caitlin as a seasoned veteran and Rebekah as a fresh newbie. You're invited to write your own letter, too, but even if you don't, we hope this especially tender episode brings you some kind of love today.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Here is Elizabeth Gilbert's how-to guide on Letters from Love on her Substack by the same name.Caitlin made a print of the phrase that came to Rebekah in her Letter from Love! You can purchase it for $5 here💌As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What would Love have you know today?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Join Danny Kurtzman, an actor and director known for his leading role in the film Good Bad Things, and Steve Way, a comedian and executive producer also seen on Hulu's Ramy, as they share their inspiring friendship. They dive into the challenges of growing up with disabilities and the internalized ableism they've faced. Discover how they rewrite disability narratives through their film, emphasizing authentic storytelling and the power of friendship. Their heartfelt discussion showcases resilience, mental health, and the need for genuine representation in media.

Do you ever feel frozen by the chaos, the mess, the to-do list? There's a big project you really want to dive into, but every time you try to start, you end up scrolling on your phone instead? Or you look out at the suffering in the great wide world and don't know what steps you could possibly take to help? This week, Caitlin introduces us to a sturdy framework their brilliant little brain created to help them in just such moments. And if you dig it, you're in luck, because they're offering a whole juicy online class based on these ideas this spring!Mentioned In Today's Episode:Check out all these details on Caitlin's online class – Start Where You Are⭐️As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What do you have? What do you need? And how would it feel to start that thread in the group chat?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

On today's episode, it's Dr Becky versus Original Sin! What happens when Good Inside takes on the fall of man? Are our jobs as parents to get out of the way and nurture our kids' inherent goodness? Or are we here to guide them away from their bad instincts? In Scratch That fashion, today's tornado conversation swirls through the gray as we try to piece together a both/and philosophy that can support us through the unwieldy work of learning/teaching how to be a human.Tune in to hear us talk about:🐣 The Easter-weekend moment Caitlin had with Charlie that sparked this whole episode.🔎 Shifting the focus from good versus bad to belonging versus abandonment.🤼‍♀️ Shame versus responsibility, unmet needs versus bad behavior.⚡️ How the capital S-self might help us get out of binary thinking.Mentioned In Today's Episode:For anyone feeling lost every time we reference Dr Becky, here's a link to her corner of the internet.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! Are we the only ones thinking about these questions? What did this episode bring up for you? And do you have any good book recommendations??🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Do you ever long to explore a totally new creative outlet or try something brand new? Like, I don't know, write a novel? Open a cute little boutique? Or try your hand at jumpstarting an art career? Our guest today has the trickster energy to try it all, throwing off scripts about being too inexperienced or too old to explore, try, and play. Elsie Larson is a mother of two and co-founder of A Beautiful Mess empire she's built with her sister Emma. The two are creative makers to their core, from their vintage clothing boutique Red Velvet (RIP) where they sold their originally designed dresses to their outrageously successful blog where they share original recipes, DIY projects, and home renovation ideas. They've written books, co-host a podcast, and showcase their ideas on their Instagram account. Today we truly talk about it all with Elsie, from her journey as a creative to her role as an adoptive parent, from her earliest years to her plans for her 50s.Tune in to hear us talk about:🤸 The way Elsie's childhood fostered her creative trickster energy.⚠️ Where she gets her boldness, willingness to take risks, and try something new.🏆 Jealousy as a manifesting tool.🧭 How Elsie pivoted when she lost her sense of self in early parenthood.📅 Making choices for yourself 10 years from now & feeling excited to get old.📝 The common scripts about adoption that strangers repeat to Elsie & how she's narrating a different story in front of her daughters.💞Ridding ourselves of the assumption that we understand our kids' experiences of the world & generating more curiosity within a family ecosystem.🐣 Rebekah and Elsie's shared stories of getting married and divorced really young.🙏 How our particular evangelical upbringings influence how we show up as adults/parents & what Caitlin misses most about church.Mentioned In Today's Episode:We talk about "trickster energy" a lot on Scratch That! The idea comes from Elizabeth Gilbert's book Big Magic💫Martha Beck's book The Way of IntegrityElsie's podcast is called A Beautiful Mess, and the episode Rebekah mentioned on goal setting is #246 "Setting Goals for 2025"As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! How are you coping (or not!) with all the demands the domestic world? Are there ways you are forced out of the traditional scripts around care work? Or do you long to break out of them, but find it difficult to actually do?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Anyone else feeling a little extra anxious these days? SAME. On today's episode, we share some of the strategies and tools we're using to stay grounded and keep belly-crawling forward.Tune in to hear us talk about:🌥Why taking pictures of the sky calms Caitlin's nervous system.🏘 Caitlin's most annoying anxiety hack.📰 The new way Rebekah is consuming news.🧥 What Rebekah is doing instead of impulsively buying that cardigan from Target.✨ Caitlin rushing toward JOY with the same kind of energy as they rush toward a crisis.🎤 Rebekah saying the absolutely-for-certain true things out loud.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Recording of Ross Gay with Bon Iver, "Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude"Mary OliverAndrew GibsonJoy SullivanFound on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast feed, "Calm News with Jessica Yellin"And here's a link to Jessica Yellin's Substack, News Not NoiseHere's how you too can mend the armpit holes in your shirts!Rebekah's new picture book, We Are the Scrappy Ones (This link takes you to Rebekah's favorite local bookshop where she is signing copies. It is also available wherever books are sold.)As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! Who are the creators lighting up your world these days? Let fill up the comments with a big ol' show and tell!🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

In today's episode, Laura Danger (aka @thatdarnchat) dives into a candid conversation with us about care work, domestic labor, and the powerful/often invisible scripts that shape our life choices, relationship dynamics, and home lives. Offering a unique perspective as a parent with ADHD and bipolar 2, Laura invites us to go off script, tune out default societal expectations, and set the terms for our homes, relationships, and stories.Tune in to hear us talk about:🧑‍🎨 Being an artsy emo punk feminist who also has a crush on Freddie Prinze Jr.🔎 Learning to decipher our own desires from society's expectations.🧑‍🧑‍🧒 Co-parenting as a useful framework for all the parenting.😳 The embarrassing realization that you're living inside a cliché sitcom, and you're playing the part of the naggy sitcom mom.✨ Looking to queer, multigenerational, and divorced families for tools to build a framework of care without any assumptions.♿️ The complicated ways disability disrupts traditional scripts around gender and care work.📝 How difficult it can be to actually embody an alternate script.꩜ The shame that can spiral when a neurodivergent person sees their sink full of dirty dishes.💎 Laura Danger's interesting bit of hope built on a tiny bit of data.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Laura Danger's upcoming book with Dutton publishing is called No More Mediocre: A Call to Reimagine Our Relationships and Demand More — make sure you're following @thatdarnchat for the cover reveal and pre-order link on April 21!And check out Laura Danger's podcast, Time to Lean!Laura also mentioned Eve Rodsky's book, Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live).As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! How are you coping (or not!) with all the demands the domestic world? Are there ways you are forced out of the traditional scripts around care work? Or do you long to break out of them, but find it difficult to actually do?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

What do we do when our parenting strategies aren't working out the way we expected? Or we stumble into a hard parenting fail? On today's episode, we share parenting stories we recorded several months ago on the CosmoParenting podcast. Then we reflect on those stories, honestly naming the ways our strategies are evolving (or not) with time. This is an episode all about the messy, unresolved, ever-shifting work of parenting and peopling.Tune in to hear us talk about:📜 Disrupting old narratives through adaptation.⚖️ The tricky balance of acknowledging pain and also pushing past discomfort.👥 Modeling behavior versus exercising power.⛓️‍💥 Understanding our past to break patterns.☀️ Bring our parenting fails into the sunlight to move forward and evolve.Mentioned In Today's Episode:If you're looking for a parenting podcast full of bite size practical tools, the CosmoParenting podcast is for you!And if you missed our earlier episode interviewing the host of CosmoParenting, Abbie VanMeter, you can listen to it here - "What paradigms are we building? (Part 2) with Abbie VanMeter"As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What parenting scripts are you revising in real time? What moments are you coming back to again and again as parents and people?Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨