Scratch That: Parenting & ReParenting Off Script

Kate Bingaman Burt is so many things – illustrator, educator, parent, head of the Graphic Design program at Portland State University, and founder of the coolest risograph printing press and studio, Outlet PDX. She's also been drawing every day since 2006. Today we ask her how she melds these worlds together. How did becoming a parent affect her identity as an artist? How does her art practice shape her parenting? And how does she balance alllll the roles and tasks? Whether you're a parent, an artist, or none of the above, this conversation has some wisdom for you. Caitlin is listening on a loop.Tune in to hear us talk about:🧶 The legacy of creativity Kate grew up in.💐 The moment in a small-town Missouri flower shop when Kate realized she could earn money making things with her hands.📊 When our kids don't seem interested in the things we value so highly.🚦 How Kate uses rules, limitations, and restrictions to generate creative momentum.🫟 Diving into the process without the pressure for an amazing product.❌ What to do with that helpless feeling that we're damaging our kids with our own stuff.〰️ Making space for looking back and connecting the dots.👻 Tuning in to the voice that compels us to make things without worrying if it's important enough.🔍 Kate's advice for avoiding burnout.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Kate's TEDTalk "Rules of Engagement"The Ten Rules from Corita Kent. The Rules mentioned into today's episode include #8 – "Don't try to create and analyze at the same time. They're different processes, and #9 – "Be happy whenever you can manage it. Enjoy yourself. It's lighter than you think."Kate's addition to the Scratch That Spotify playlist of songs that have held us – Paul Simon's "Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War."For more of Kate in your life, head to her website!Babies Caitlin and Kate at a workshop Kate hosted in Portland.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What stood out to you about our conversation with Kate? Anything you're tucking away or still chewing on?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Do you ever feel like you're doing it wrong? Like everyone else has it figured out, and you're the only one flailing? Today we open the can of worms that wriggle around when we compare ourselves to the ones around us. Why are we so good at noticing our own lack, but not our abundance? What do we miss out on when we strive to match instead of living our unique values out loud? What do we do when we are grieving the very thing our friend has? Today we dive into the complexity and offer a few breadcrumbs for navigating this gnarly terrain.Tune In to Hear Us Talk About:🙃 The moments of comparison that make Rebekah like a child among the grownups.🫟 When the thing you're good at doesn't always look shiny or tidy.🌤️ Learning to notice where we have abundance in addition to noticing the strain.🌓 Rebekah grieving not having another kid while Caitlin prepares to welcome theirs.♿️ How disability can make it taboo to express jealousy/grief for what you don't have.❓ The guiding question to sort the comparison feelings – What is this actually about?🤝 What makes it tricky and useful to share when we feel the pang of comparison.🎨 Letting the both/and of our lives, co-exist side-by-side as a creative script building project.📬 Less matching for the sake of it and more living our values out loud as a flag to find our people.Mentioned In This Episode:The episode we had with Emma Parker about infertility and miscarriage.The episode when each of us wonders if we will have a second kid.Our conversation with Amelia Hruby about social media.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! Does your brain get stuck in comparison mode? How do you navigate feeling inferior to or envious of the people in your orbit? What are your tools? What are your angsts?🍎 Apple
🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

As Caitlin prepares Charlie to welcome a sibling into the family, we delve into a swirly conversation about these complicated relationships. How much, if any, control do parents have over siblings relationships? What can parents do (or not do) to foster positive, long lasting relationship between their kids? How did our sibling relationships shape us? And how does that history inform the way we think about siblings relationships now?Tune In to Hear Us Talk About:🧭 What drives Caitlin's intentionality in guiding Charlie through the transition of becoming a sibling.🌈 How Caitlin's experience being the "rainbow baby" shaped siblings dynamics in their family.📖 Learning to be conscious of the stories we put onto our kids.🤝 One skill we think is mandatory to maintain sibling relationships over the long haul.🍄 Disrupting our assigned roles within a family ecosystem.🌱 Practicing seeing each other anew, over and over again.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Nine Months: Before a Baby Is Born written by Miranda Paul and illustrated by Jason ChinWhen Aidan Became a Brother written by Kyle Lukoff and illustrated by Kaylani JuanitaWhat Makes a Baby written by Cory Silverberg and illustrated by Fiona SmythAs Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! How have your sibling relationships evolved over your life? What role did you play in your family of origin? How are you thinking about the relationships between your kids? And do you have anyone in your life you'd like to try to see anew?🍎 Apple
🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Do you get heart palpitations just thinking about planning a kids' birthday party? Or wish all your days didn't just blur into a big bowl of mush? Today we take a careful and curious look at how we mark moments, big and small. How can we do this with a little more intention and a little less stress??Tune In to Hear Up Talk About:🍋 The inexpensive and spectacular ways Caitlin's mom marked a moment, large or small.🕯️ Elevating a mundane moment through attention to sensory detail.🧶 Why Rebekah still remembers the first day of kindergarten.🎊 The many many ways paper chains have marked moments in Caitlin's life.✨ Shifting from the big & expensive to the tiny, doable, and affordable.🛒 The celebratory groceries practice Caitlin & Andrew share.🤡 What makes planning kids' birthday parties so freaking stressful.📝 Breaking the script on rehearsed moment to create novelty .🏔️ Putting more energy into creating peak moments and less on fixing everyday grumbles.🗓️ Marking moments as a way of making sure you remember your own life.🍼 The REAL reason Caitlin is having a baby shower.The sensory birthday party Caitlin talked about.Breakfast in bed on Rebekah's 4th birthday, a smiley face made out of powdered donuts and sausage links.Mentioned In Today's Episode:If you would like to support Kate Weiners in the aftermath of the fire that damaged her bookstore, Monstera's Plants, you can purchase a gift cared here. They are working very hard to re-open and could use some help in the meantime!And if you missed our episode with Kate, listen to our conversation here.The Power of Moments by Chip Heath and Dan HeathThe Art of Gathering by Priya ParkerThunder Cake by Patricia PolaccoAs Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! How do you think about Caitlin's ideas of "romanticizing" your life or "memorializing" a life before it ends? What ways have you found to make a moment, large or small, more meaningful? What do you think makes this work hard?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Y'ALL. Today is the day! We bring you our chat with writer, artist, dancer, quilter, human, our favorite buddy, and the one-and-only – Cody Cook Parrot!! From the ways they're learning to reparent themselves around money and the discomfort they feel in class jumping to the buoy they feel in trans love and weirdo community, Cody meets us with open-hearted transparency and LOL warmth.For more of Cody in your life, check out their website – this is where you can find their books, learn more about their podcast, sign up for their newsletter, or enroll in one of their classes.And don't forget to pre-order their upcoming book! The Practice of Attention Cultivating Presence in a Distracted WorldWe're excited to share this one with you☀️Tune in to hear us talk about:🗒️ Cody's very first ritual practice.🤸‍♀️ One way that Cody makes personal practice playful instead of punitive.🫁 The 3 things Cody has been doing consistently for the longest.💰 How reparenting is becoming a useful tool when little 9 year old Cody is sabotaging adult Cody's financial goals.🧑‍🧑‍🧒 Linking reparenting with Internal Family Systems.🏳️‍⚧️ The trans love and weirdo community that buoys Cody.✌️ The words Cody's mentor said to them that helped them delete Instagram years later.🎲 Taking the leap that aligns with our values before we know the outcome.📖 Writing the book we needed.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Cody's very first podcast Have CompanyThe book that invited Cody into their first personal practice – The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher CreativityCody's money coach Hadassah Damien and their program "Ride Free Fearless Money"Cody's book How to Not Always Be WorkingCaitlin's book Feel Something Make SomethingOur episode with Amelia Hruby about leaving social mediaPre-Order Cody's new book, The Practice of Attention Cultivating Presence in a Distracted WorldCody's addition to the Scratch That Spotify playlist of songs that have held us – Joan Armatrading "Down To Zero"As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What question do you think prospective parents should be asking? What questions do you have about parenting? Or what questions do you wish you'd asked before you became one?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

On today's episode, we dive into our postpartum experiences, piecing together in hindsight what happened and why. Caitlin offers the plans they're building to set themselves up for sturdy support this time around. The stories we share are tender, the reflections wobbly, and the plans hopeful.Tune In to Hear Us Talk About:🩺 The overwhelming lack of medical curiosity or understanding about PPD and menopause.🕯️ When Caitlin realized they had capital P – Postpartum depression.🚫 The horrible experience Caitlin had when they tried to reach out for medical support.♿️ The roles disability and ableism played in Rebekah's postpartum experience.❌ A few reasons it can be difficult to tell anyone about your PPD symptoms.🤝 What is Caitlin doing differently with this pregnancy to prepare for Postpartum?🛒 The very practical, tangible, helpful thing Caitlin's sister is doing to build in supports for this postpartum stretch.🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒 The broad number of people who can experience PPD beyond a birthing parent.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What were your experiences around postpartum? And what help have you received or offered during postpartum that felt especially helpful?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Today on Scratch That we are the ones being interviewed! Caitlin's wise and warm BFF, Kaplan Trudo is wading into the process of deciding whether or not to pursue becoming a parent and wants to hear from us. How did we decide we wanted to become parents? What does it feel like to co-parent with another person? They dig in with questions we never thought to ask before becoming parents ourselves. Want more of Kaplan? You can find their writing and some yoga practices (recorded as love notes to Caitlin 🥹) on Patreon or follow their Instagram.Tune in to hear us talk about:🔍 What becoming parents showed us about our partners and how it shifted our relationships.✅ The one thing Rebekah wishes she'd thought more about before becoming a parent.🕸️ Parenting as a big group project.🧑‍🧒‍🧒 Caitlin's epiphany about their relationship with their partner as the third client in the therapy room.🏆 A reframe for the parent who really, really wants to "get it right."👴 Staying connected to our children/parents as we all get older.🎮 What happens when our values don't align with our co-parents?Mentioned In Today's Episode:Our conversation with Shane and Hannah Burcaw where they describe their thoughts on intergenerational living.Our conversation with Kate Wieners where she talks about using percentage ratings for how important something is to each partner.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What question do you think prospective parents should be asking? What questions do you have about parenting? Or what questions do you wish you'd asked before you became one?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

In a creative endeavor, the hosts tackle the challenge of writing a family manifesto with their loved ones. They share the highs and lows of the experience, revealing personal insights about family dynamics. The discussion dives into how the process opens up communication and understanding. Manifestos are painted as living documents, capturing evolving family values over time. The conversation also touches on the healing power of second chances in relationships and the joy of expressing family love through music and creativity.

This discussion is a refreshing take on parenting goals we can let go. The hosts explore the balance between guiding children and allowing them autonomy, using a gardening metaphor. They share insights on nurturing creativity over maintaining a perfect home, and how to create emotional space at mealtimes. The conversation highlights the importance of prioritizing what truly matters in family life while reflecting on the pressures we place on ourselves. It’s all about embracing chaos and redefining success in parenting!

Join the insightful S. Bear Bergman, a master storyteller and author known for his groundbreaking parenting guide. He discusses how his flexible and inclusive approach to parenting contrasts with traditional advice. Hear him reveal a two-ingredient recipe for connection, the value of trial and error, and strategies for chaotic moments. Bergman emphasizes shifting from control to collaboration, letting go of rigid priorities, and nurturing family dynamics like a garden. Plus, find out which kids' shows he can't stand!