Scratch That: Parenting & ReParenting Off Script

Do you get heart palpitations just thinking about planning a kids' birthday party? Or wish all your days didn't just blur into a big bowl of mush? Today we take a careful and curious look at how we mark moments, big and small. How can we do this with a little more intention and a little less stress??Tune In to Hear Up Talk About:🍋 The inexpensive and spectacular ways Caitlin's mom marked a moment, large or small.🕯️ Elevating a mundane moment through attention to sensory detail.🧶 Why Rebekah still remembers the first day of kindergarten.🎊 The many many ways paper chains have marked moments in Caitlin's life.✨ Shifting from the big & expensive to the tiny, doable, and affordable.🛒 The celebratory groceries practice Caitlin & Andrew share.🤡 What makes planning kids' birthday parties so freaking stressful.📝 Breaking the script on rehearsed moment to create novelty .🏔️ Putting more energy into creating peak moments and less on fixing everyday grumbles.🗓️ Marking moments as a way of making sure you remember your own life.🍼 The REAL reason Caitlin is having a baby shower.The sensory birthday party Caitlin talked about.Breakfast in bed on Rebekah's 4th birthday, a smiley face made out of powdered donuts and sausage links.Mentioned In Today's Episode:If you would like to support Kate Weiners in the aftermath of the fire that damaged her bookstore, Monstera's Plants, you can purchase a gift cared here. They are working very hard to re-open and could use some help in the meantime!And if you missed our episode with Kate, listen to our conversation here.The Power of Moments by Chip Heath and Dan HeathThe Art of Gathering by Priya ParkerThunder Cake by Patricia PolaccoAs Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! How do you think about Caitlin's ideas of "romanticizing" your life or "memorializing" a life before it ends? What ways have you found to make a moment, large or small, more meaningful? What do you think makes this work hard?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Y'ALL. Today is the day! We bring you our chat with writer, artist, dancer, quilter, human, our favorite buddy, and the one-and-only – Cody Cook Parrot!! From the ways they're learning to reparent themselves around money and the discomfort they feel in class jumping to the buoy they feel in trans love and weirdo community, Cody meets us with open-hearted transparency and LOL warmth.For more of Cody in your life, check out their website – this is where you can find their books, learn more about their podcast, sign up for their newsletter, or enroll in one of their classes.And don't forget to pre-order their upcoming book! The Practice of Attention Cultivating Presence in a Distracted WorldWe're excited to share this one with you☀️Tune in to hear us talk about:🗒️ Cody's very first ritual practice.🤸‍♀️ One way that Cody makes personal practice playful instead of punitive.🫁 The 3 things Cody has been doing consistently for the longest.💰 How reparenting is becoming a useful tool when little 9 year old Cody is sabotaging adult Cody's financial goals.🧑‍🧑‍🧒 Linking reparenting with Internal Family Systems.🏳️‍⚧️ The trans love and weirdo community that buoys Cody.✌️ The words Cody's mentor said to them that helped them delete Instagram years later.🎲 Taking the leap that aligns with our values before we know the outcome.📖 Writing the book we needed.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Cody's very first podcast Have CompanyThe book that invited Cody into their first personal practice – The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher CreativityCody's money coach Hadassah Damien and their program "Ride Free Fearless Money"Cody's book How to Not Always Be WorkingCaitlin's book Feel Something Make SomethingOur episode with Amelia Hruby about leaving social mediaPre-Order Cody's new book, The Practice of Attention Cultivating Presence in a Distracted WorldCody's addition to the Scratch That Spotify playlist of songs that have held us – Joan Armatrading "Down To Zero"As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What question do you think prospective parents should be asking? What questions do you have about parenting? Or what questions do you wish you'd asked before you became one?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

On today's episode, we dive into our postpartum experiences, piecing together in hindsight what happened and why. Caitlin offers the plans they're building to set themselves up for sturdy support this time around. The stories we share are tender, the reflections wobbly, and the plans hopeful.Tune In to Hear Us Talk About:🩺 The overwhelming lack of medical curiosity or understanding about PPD and menopause.🕯️ When Caitlin realized they had capital P – Postpartum depression.🚫 The horrible experience Caitlin had when they tried to reach out for medical support.♿️ The roles disability and ableism played in Rebekah's postpartum experience.❌ A few reasons it can be difficult to tell anyone about your PPD symptoms.🤝 What is Caitlin doing differently with this pregnancy to prepare for Postpartum?🛒 The very practical, tangible, helpful thing Caitlin's sister is doing to build in supports for this postpartum stretch.🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒 The broad number of people who can experience PPD beyond a birthing parent.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What were your experiences around postpartum? And what help have you received or offered during postpartum that felt especially helpful?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

Today on Scratch That we are the ones being interviewed! Caitlin's wise and warm BFF, Kaplan Trudo is wading into the process of deciding whether or not to pursue becoming a parent and wants to hear from us. How did we decide we wanted to become parents? What does it feel like to co-parent with another person? They dig in with questions we never thought to ask before becoming parents ourselves. Want more of Kaplan? You can find their writing and some yoga practices (recorded as love notes to Caitlin 🥹) on Patreon or follow their Instagram.Tune in to hear us talk about:🔍 What becoming parents showed us about our partners and how it shifted our relationships.✅ The one thing Rebekah wishes she'd thought more about before becoming a parent.🕸️ Parenting as a big group project.🧑‍🧒‍🧒 Caitlin's epiphany about their relationship with their partner as the third client in the therapy room.🏆 A reframe for the parent who really, really wants to "get it right."👴 Staying connected to our children/parents as we all get older.🎮 What happens when our values don't align with our co-parents?Mentioned In Today's Episode:Our conversation with Shane and Hannah Burcaw where they describe their thoughts on intergenerational living.Our conversation with Kate Wieners where she talks about using percentage ratings for how important something is to each partner.As Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What question do you think prospective parents should be asking? What questions do you have about parenting? Or what questions do you wish you'd asked before you became one?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

In a creative endeavor, the hosts tackle the challenge of writing a family manifesto with their loved ones. They share the highs and lows of the experience, revealing personal insights about family dynamics. The discussion dives into how the process opens up communication and understanding. Manifestos are painted as living documents, capturing evolving family values over time. The conversation also touches on the healing power of second chances in relationships and the joy of expressing family love through music and creativity.

This discussion is a refreshing take on parenting goals we can let go. The hosts explore the balance between guiding children and allowing them autonomy, using a gardening metaphor. They share insights on nurturing creativity over maintaining a perfect home, and how to create emotional space at mealtimes. The conversation highlights the importance of prioritizing what truly matters in family life while reflecting on the pressures we place on ourselves. It’s all about embracing chaos and redefining success in parenting!

Join the insightful S. Bear Bergman, a master storyteller and author known for his groundbreaking parenting guide. He discusses how his flexible and inclusive approach to parenting contrasts with traditional advice. Hear him reveal a two-ingredient recipe for connection, the value of trial and error, and strategies for chaotic moments. Bergman emphasizes shifting from control to collaboration, letting go of rigid priorities, and nurturing family dynamics like a garden. Plus, find out which kids' shows he can't stand!

How do we talk to our kids about war, death, families being separated, floods, guns, violence, any of it? Should we shield them as much and as long as possible? Should we hold their hand as we tell them what we know to be real? How do we balance protecting our kids with equipping them? These questions feel important, the stakes feel high, we're doing our best, and making it up as we go. Today we dive into it as we try to figure out how we want to navigate the conversations that scare us.Tune in to hear us talk about:🫟 The sticky conversations Caitlin loves diving into with their kid and why some topics feel so much harder.🇺🇸 How our parents' talked with us about politics in the 90s.🪦 The very different responses we had to our kids seeing dead animals and the one thread we share.📚 How Caitlin is using books and stories as invitations and bridges into hard conversations.🪧 The conversations Rebekah had with a fellow protester that illuminated how she wants to move through today's politic landscape with her son.⚙️ A potentially measured and responsible new strategy to equip our kids for the scary realities of today's world.Mentioned In Today's Episode:What Makes a Baby by Cory SilverbergAs Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! What helps you navigate conversations (with your kids or anyone else!) about the scary things happening in the world right now? And what book recommendations do you have? For any age! What are the book that are helping you understand our history and humanity?🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

A year ago, Kate Wieners quit her corporate job to open a cozy, plant-filled bookstore, Monstera's Books. And while it sounds like the pitch for a movie we'd all love, today Kate talks with us about the real-life, fleshed-out story. What stars had to align for her to leave the "good enough" setup she already had for the risk of a dream? What has it been like to be a partner and a parent as she makes this great leap? What is it like to create a third-space community around books and storytelling right now? And does the nervous-scary of a big risky dream ever go away?Tune in to hear us talk about:☎️ The story of the old 70s phone they use in the store and all the ways it sets the tone for the shop.💫 What Kate's husband Justin said when he heard her name her bookstore dream out loud at a party.％ The strategies Kate and Justin have developed to navigate living, parenting, and working together.🔧 The big and unexpected monkey wrench in their plans and how that became the scary ideal way to actually launch their plans.🔔 The epiphany Kate had while waiting for someone else to tell her she had a brilliant plan.🌿 Why Kate thinks Monstera's Books is a worthy competitor to Amazon.🫟 Just making the next decision and getting comfortable with chaos.📚 The conversation Kate overheard in the bookstore that highlighted the unique power of third spaces (especially ones that center storytelling).💓 The tremendous value/power of little risks. (Or how something as simple as a romance bookclub could save someone's life.)✨ How paying attention to the sparkle dream in ourselves can meet a much larger need in our communities.⚡️ What Kate hopes her daughters take away from growing up in this bookstore.Mentioned In Today's Episode:Two books recommended by Monstera's Books patrons – The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese and A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. MaasTwo of Kate's top book recommendations – I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes with Death by Maggie O'Farrell and Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghyAs Always:Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves.Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa.We would love to hear from you! Shout out your favorite local bookstore! Tell us about your favorite third space! Share a little or big dream that's been tugging at your chest! We're here for all of it💛🍎 Apple🟢 SpotifyFind Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

The hosts explore how toddlers can teach us about learning at all ages. They discuss the importance of fostering curiosity and creating safe spaces that nurture emotional well-being. The conversation highlights the need to embrace mistakes and prioritize genuine exploration over grades. They also emphasize the value of rest and play in the learning process, advocating for personalized learning paths that cater to individual styles. It’s a lively examination of what it means to truly engage with education.