Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.

It has been an honor and a privilege for me to have hosted and co-hosted the Neurodiverse Love podcast since the fall of 2020. I will be forever grateful to my dear friend Olga, who agreed to start this podcast journey with me in the middle of the pandemic, and to all my co-hosts who have partnered with me along the way: Manecia, Greg, Nicole and Bronwyn.I also want to thank all the amazing guests who gave me an opportunity to ask them the questions so many of us needed the answers to. Each individual, couple, coach, therapist, educator, author, and/or researcher who shared their lived experience and expertise has helped us increase understanding of the strengths, differences and challenges that Neurodiverse couples experience. I am so grateful that thousands of people listening in more than 70 countries have received information, tools and resources to help them understand they are not alone and there is hope! Whether your relationship continues or ends understanding and acceptance of what can and can’t change can make such a big difference in the healing process.If you have not had a chance to listen to the 4 episodes of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries on YouTube I hope we will do that today. In addition, I hope you will check out my website at www.neurodiverselove.com for more information about the resources I have available.Nine years ago, in 2017, I discovered I was in a neurodiverse marriage for 29 years and didn’t know it. Even though my marriage ended in 2018, I made it my mission to help others understand what my ex-husband and I never knew, and the work I am doing through Neurodiverse Love became my mission.This is my last episode of the Neurodiverse Love podcast and I hope the information I share will be helpful to a lot of you, including my thoughts about: ​Communication preferences ​Emotional needs​Sensory differences ​Social battery​Physical intimacy​Employment ​Processing speeds​Special interests​Transition time​Perpetual vs solvable problemsI want everyone who listens to this podcast, the docuseries or accesses any of the work I do to know that you’re not alone! There are SO many more resources available then when I first discovered I was in a neurodiverse marriage in 2017.I am also very excited to share with all of you that I will be cohosting a new podcast with my friend and colleague Jodi Carlton and it is called “Navigating Neurodiverse Love & Life” . Our first episode was published on May 26, 2026 and you can watch it on Jodi’s YouTube channel at the link below:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7pKfGin5gbYIPJcQ0fAkxLO&si=hCAxYXD3fkjxg7MhI also want to thank all of you for listening to the podcast and for reaching out to share your lived experiences and your suggestions for topics to address on the podcast. I am hopeful that the next phase of my work will continue to have a positive impact on neurodiverse couples and individual partners and that we will all continue to learn about ourselves and our partners and create lives that are filled with peace, joy, love, and purpose.❤️🙏

Jessie Mahoney, pediatrician and coach helping burned-out women physicians; Barbara Grant, couples coach for neurodiverse partners; Jill Corvelli, IFS-based clinician teaching differentiated dialogue; Daniel Dashnaw, marriage therapist focused on practical couples interventions. They discuss nervous-system regulation, differentiated dialogue, managing rejection sensitivity dysphoria, concrete communication tools, boundaries, and how to invite a partner into therapy.

Karen Doherty, a UK relationship therapist who specializes in neurodivergent couples and appears on Netflix’s Blue Therapy, talks about communication breakdowns, emotional regulation and the ‘third’ presence of undiagnosed neurodivergence. She covers practical tools like code words, break protocols, renegotiating roles, intimacy strategies and creative relationship models. The tone is hopeful and practical.

Sarah Hendrickx, autistic author and assessor of adult autism and ADHD, explains her new practical self‑discovery book co‑written with her daughter. She discusses assessments, masking, alexithymia, and common myths about late diagnosis. Conversations cover co‑occurring conditions, how the pandemic spurred self‑discovery, and ways neurodiverse partners can support one another.

This episode is a very informative panel discussion from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. The following individuals participated in this conversation and I hope you find the information they shared helpful.- Stephanie Holmes (www.holmsasr.com)- Grace Malonai (www.Therathrive.com)- Jodi Carlton (www.Jodicarlton.com)- Dan Jones (www.Theaspieworld.com)- Laura Schreiner (www.Laurasnc.com)Trigger warning: the topic of abuse is discussed during this presentation, so if this is triggering please skip this episode.The panelists address so many important topics that neurodivergent individuals and Neurodiverse couples may be interested in exploring, including:​Demand avoidance​Rejection sensitivity dysphoria​Impostor syndrome​The impact of different religious beliefs in ND relationships​Forgiveness, even when behaviors may still be occurring or learning new ways of functioning together?​Calling out uncomfortable behaviors and/or making accommodations ​Self awareness vs masking​Using dysregulation as a weapon​The importance of reciprocity in a healthy relationship​Struggling with Theory of Mind. ​Using the yes/and approach.If you haven’t had a chance to watch the first two episodes of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries I hope you will check them out today. Episode 1 addresses Communication and Episode 2 addresses Emotional Reciprocity.if you are interested in getting lifetime access to all the video presentations from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference click here for more information.

Dr. Margaret Cochran, clinical social worker and life coach with 25+ years helping neurodivergent people and couples. She talks about building intimacy skills that aren’t taught, using safe words and checklists to rebuild trust, setting and enforcing boundaries, and practical tools to regulate, reduce noise, and restore joy in ND relationships.

The first two episode s of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries are now available. Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they’ve had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other’s differences.In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.Watch the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries on YouTube.—————————————————————————During this podcast episode Dr. Jesse Mahoney shares what inspired her TEDx talk, “What Would Love Do?” and how that question changed her neurodiverse relationship and her work.Jessie and her husband Mark are one of the four ND couples featured in the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries and she shares what she hopes the Docuseries will offer.In addition she shares why neurodivergence can go unrecognized for so long — even in medical families?She also discusses what she means by solving human problems without the human element.Jessie also explains what she means by the phrase “approach determines landing” and also shares how nervous systems shape communication, conflict, and connection?You can learn more about Dr. Mahoney’s work here.

Luis Mojica, somatic educator and certified holistic nutritionist, blends trauma work with food and body awareness. He discusses ADHD, the gut-brain link, microbiome roles, and how meal composition affects mood and relationships. Practical tips include protein, beans, greens, carb timing, and using food to stabilize nervous system for deeper healing.

Sarah Swenson, a licensed mental health counselor who helps neurodiverse couples, explores communication and connection in mixed neurotype relationships. She talks about misread intent, emotional intensity mismatches, alexithymia and interoception challenges. Timing, processing speed differences, sensory overload, the bean theory for energy, and respectful ways to ask for conversations are also covered.

Grace Myhill, MSW, is a social worker and coach for neurodiverse couples. She explains PDA and why refusals are not personal. Practical three-sentence requests and codes for emotional needs make asks clearer. Learn simple repair steps for hurt, ways to map sensory sensitivities, and strategies to balance special interests with shared connection.