In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Xochitl and Jack discuss three recently coined idiomatic expressions in English.Transcript:00:00:01JackWelcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and I'm here with my co-host social. And today we are talking about new slang slang that is just brand new in the culture. Actually social is my expert when it comes to pop culture and.00:00:21JackModern culture, youth, youth culture. I'm. I'm too old. I'm. I'm out of touch. So some of these that I pulled up may not be as new as I think they are, but let's go through three of these idioms.00:00:38JackTier and so the first one is vibing.00:00:43JackSo what does it mean if you're vibing with someone?00:00:48XochitlBy being biting is hard to explain, but like it's kind of turned into like hanging out, chilling, and also if you're vibing, you're like getting along well, like like sometimes like when I just have this conversation and we're just vibing like we're really on the same page, things are flowing.00:01:10XochitlEverything's going well, and then if you're not vibing with someone, it's.00:01:13XochitlKinda like if you're on a bad day or you're like needing someone for the first time and it's really awkward or things go South. That's like the opposite of vibing.00:01:22JackYeah, you're you're not vibing essentially.00:01:25JackAnd.00:01:25JackAnd this is I think this really makes sense in the in the in the world of like online dating, where everything is immediate, right? Just like Tinder, it's like, OK, I'm going to meet you. Boom. We talk for 5 minutes. If we're not vibing, I'm out of here. You know, dating is almost like.00:01:35XochitlYeah.00:01:43JackIt's so different than than my generation where you had to, like, call someone's house phone, you know, like, make an appointment, you get together. And if you're on a bad date, you just ride that horrible wave all the way to the end of dinner and.00:02:02JackIt's quite torturous, you know. Uhm, and the younger generation is just like, no, we're we're meeting for a drink. If we're not vibing within a couple of minutes, I'm out, you know, and that seems to be the agreement. Am I wrong about that or is that accurate?00:02:22XochitlYou mean like?00:02:24XochitlYou think they're kind of more instant culturally now?00:02:27JackInsofar as dating goes.00:02:29XochitlYeah, even like meeting new people. Was it different before like?00:02:36JackYeah. I mean, I think I think you're more stuck together, right? Like if you made a plan, if you made a, if you made it, if you're your date, if you're going on a date with someone.00:02:46JackYou're you're in for the the date you're in for the long haul. It doesn't mean.00:02:48XochitlThey're spending like 2 hours together, even.00:02:50JackIt's a few hours, right? I mean, you're not going to go like, if it's a horrible dinner, you're not going to go like, hey, do you wanna go get ice cream? You're gonna, you know, you're gonna go your separate ways, but you're still gonna finish the dinner together. I feel like the younger generation is like, no. Let's just meet for drinks.00:03:10JackAnd then you know, then you're only stuck for one drink and then it's.00:03:14XochitlYeah, it's like get a coffee together because then you're only stuck for. Because I've had this situation. I had this situation kind of pop up in Korea where it was like we went. I told you about that, but we went and had, like, a a lemonade. I had a lemonade at a cafe. And then after that, he was like, oh, you want to go get dinner? I was like, I got a dip.00:03:34XochitlI have 4:00 except and it was like not three. I did not want to be stuck with this bozo for another minute.00:03:37JackYeah. Yes.00:03:41XochitlSo I'm glad that like we proceeded it with the cafe kind of thing.00:03:45JackYes, yes, that, that's, it's actually I. I kind of like this. The young generation is just like let's throw all the extra nonsense away because you get it. You know, if you have chemistry within the first couple of minutes. I mean, I really.00:04:00JackDo believe that?00:04:00발표자Yeah.00:04:02XochitlI also believe that, like if it's just kind of awkward, or the person just like a little quiet or something, I would still meet up with them like again like, especially if you're making new friends or whatever. I just wouldn't do it if it's like.00:04:15발표자Yeah.00:04:16XochitlIf it's really bad, then why would I subject myself to spending more time with this embarrassing person or whatever like?00:04:23JackRight, in an awkward you know where the like, labored conversation and stuff. I I think this comes from this comes from the word vibration. And if you the the they used to use this a long time ago there's a Beach Boys song called Good Vibrations.00:04:39JackAnd it's about sharing via vibrations with people, whether you have good vibrations or bad vibrations. And then the word vibration became the word vibe. So good vibes or bad vibes was a very 60s kind of slang, and now they've used. Now they're using it in the present.00:04:59JackContinuous as vibing, so using it as a verb to vibe with somebody and yeah, it kind of makes sense. It's a I think it's a it's a good expression. I I like it. I'll I will use this.00:05:14JackUM OK #2.00:05:18JackUh hot mess.00:05:21XochitlOhh, this one's kind of older hot mess is.00:05:25XochitlUh.00:05:29XochitlIt's usually towards a person, but you can do it towards a situation too. Let's say, like my grandmother passed away, which is really sad, but now I'm cleaning out her house and she was a hoarder and the situation is a hot mess. It's like it's chaos, it's.00:05:47XochitlIt's basically chaos. That's the only way I can describe it. It's kind of like when you're watching a movie and the main character like it opens with the main character having like eating like a piece of cold pizza out of their car for breakfast and like, waking up with trash in their hair and they like.00:06:07XochitlEat the trash they found in their hair. And you know what I'm talking about? Like that? Yeah. Yeah. That person's a hot mess.00:06:11JackThat person's a hot mess.00:06:15JackEveryone has a a friend like, at least in the West. You know, if you're, if you're a college student or whatever, you have a friend, she might he or she might drink too much when they go out. And so, you know, for I'm thinking, you know, she's got, like, a nice, you know, cocktail dress on high heels, her purse.00:06:35JackAnd then two hours later, she's like stumbling. The dress is kind of a skew and wrinkled, and her hair is all messed up and the lipstick is all smeared and and everyone goes. Ohh man, she's such a hot mess when she drinks, you know?00:06:39XochitlBarefoot.00:06:52XochitlYeah.00:06:53발표자Yeah.00:06:54XochitlYep.00:06:54JackOK. And I've got one more and this one is basic and I think everybody knows what basic means, but what does it mean in this kind of like modern youth culture in modern youth culture?00:07:08XochitlBasic is it's funny because it's like basic should mean average whatever, but it actually it's kind of derogatory, which means it has a negative connotation and it's like ohh, you're such a basic girl. Which means like a bland, boring, unoriginal.00:07:19JackYes.00:07:28XochitlDoesn't stand out and it almost pegs you at.00:07:32XochitlWhat?00:07:34XochitlUh below. I mean it's average in the worst way possible.00:07:38JackYeah, like there's nothing special about you, you know, is what they're saying to you. You're so basic, you know, it's kind of a mean girl. Uh, put down.00:07:44XochitlYes.00:07:51XochitlEven though it's funny because it's kind of.00:07:54XochitlIt basically towards Mean Girls because Mean Girls are basic most of the time.00:07:58JackExactly, yes. Yes. The people that use this the most are probably really in their heart. No, they're basic and they're lashing out at people who are more creative or more introverted, but probably have more talent or or skills or other.00:08:06XochitlYeah.00:08:16JackOther interests that just go beyond the kind of mainstream.00:08:21XochitlI think another thing is that it's kind of, it's like a little, it's a little bit of a misogynistic insult cause a lot of times it's like aimed at women like you never really hear people calling men basic, even though most of them are. But sorry, but it's like, it's like calling women. It's kind of used to insult.00:08:35JackThat's good, yeah.00:08:42XochitlMeans interest. So it's like you can't like pumpkin spice lattes cause you're basic and you can't dress a certain way because now you're basic and you can't enjoy this hobby cause now that's basic. It's kind of takes away the enjoyment of like things that are are more women's culture or things that women.00:09:00XochitlEnjoy.00:09:00JackYeah, I feel like there's like a longer version of this with a bad word at the end. A basic BB word, you know, and. And so I I totally know what you're what you're getting at is kind of there is a misogynistic element misogynistic for our listeners out there means woman.00:09:05XochitlYeah, yeah, yeah. Yep.00:09:21XochitlSorry, sorry.00:09:21JackYeah. Ohh no derogatory towards women or negative towards women, yeah.00:09:27XochitlYes. Yeah.00:09:29JackYeah. So, uh, yeah. If someone calls you basic, they're not just saying you're average, they're they're putting you down so.00:09:37XochitlYeah, they're insulting you, Sir.00:09:38JackYeah, it's an insult. Yeah.00:09:40XochitlTreat it as an insulin fight. I'm just kidding. Don't fight them, but yeah.00:09:43JackLike a.00:09:44JackSavage. Yeah, but don't become a hot mess, you know.00:09:47XochitlYes, alright guys. Well, don't take our advice. Please don't take our advice. But yeah, make sure to use these in the sentence and or we chat and WhatsApp groups. We would love to hear how you guys come up with original ways to use these new words in a sentence.00:09:53JackRight.00:10:04XochitlShe does an e-mail at A-Z, englishpodcast@gmail.com leave a comment down below on our website azenglishpodcast.com and Jack and I will see you later. Bye bye.00:10:13JackBye bye.Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/idiom-academy-new-idioms/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the A to Z English Podcast, Xochitl and Jack look at three words which were added to Webster's Dictionary in 2023.Transcript:00:00:01JackWelcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and I'm here with my co-host social. And today we are stepping into the vocabulary spotlight and social. I have a list here of 24 new words that were recently added to Webster's Dictionary in 2023.00:00:23JackAnd I thought it would be kind of a fun be fun to kind of go through this list over the next several months and so maybe we'll do like 3 words per episode.00:00:36JackWord and the first word. I'm just gonna kind of test you and see if you know what the the meaning is beast mode.00:00:46XochitlOhh yeah, Beast mode is like.00:00:49XochitlOhh, I went beast mode on it. Like hulking out or like also doing like top of your game at something.00:00:59JackYeah. I I I see it a lot on like uh, because I.00:01:04XochitlGame forums.00:01:06JackYeah. Game forums. Yeah, in gaming and also in like fitness.00:01:11XochitlOh yeah, definitely.00:01:13JackYeah, like like someone would say like.00:01:16JackDid you have?00:01:16JackA good workout today. And you're like, yeah, I.00:01:18JackWent beast mode.00:01:21JackAnd it means they did like a very intense workout. Or I watch basketball highlights. I I love to watch, like NBA highlights and stuff like that. And sometimes the announcer will go whoa. LeBron James went beast mode on the other team or whatever.00:01:41JackAnd so it's kind of like.00:01:41XochitlMm-hmm.00:01:44JackGoing above and beyond the normal expectation to like a very intense and focused mode of being, I guess what about in gaming? What what it, what does, what does it mean in that respect?00:02:02XochitlUM beast mode? Yeah, I think it's just like it's the same as, like with athletics, I honestly think.00:02:08XochitlThat my generation sometimes sees like gaming as an extreme sport. Basically. Yeah, it is. And so it's like you have competitions and all this stuff. And and I think that it's basically it has the same exact meaning, but just applying it to gaming.00:02:13JackYeah, it is now.00:02:24JackYou're just killing.00:02:24JackA lot of people, and you're doing really, really well in the game and you, you're basically you're going to beat mode, yeah.00:02:29XochitlKilling it.00:02:30XochitlYeah, going beast mode.00:02:32JackYeah. OK. So there you go listeners, you can use Beast mode when you study English. Study real hard and go beast mode.00:02:43Jack#2 this one I have never heard before, but I'm curious if you have bracketology.00:02:53XochitlAcology.00:02:54JackBracketology yeah.00:02:57XochitlRocketown energy. I don't think I've ever. I haven't heard of it. I haven't heard of it.00:03:02JackYeah, this is for this.00:03:04JackIs for people who are like.00:03:04XochitlOhh I know what bracketology is. Ohh I do I do I just it just hit me. I remember all those YouTube videos that were trending in 2022 and 2023 where it would like put things into.00:03:16XochitlTo brackets, so do like a BCS level or whatever. Brackets yours kind of. Is that what we're talking about?00:03:25JackExactly. And it's.00:03:26JackIt's mostly comes from, like online gambling on sports or just people who love sports. So, you know, for example, there's a the college basketball NCAA Tournament, which is happens in March. They call it March Madness.00:03:45JackAnd people love to try to predict the outcomes of the of the games. And so bracketology is the practice or study of predicting outcomes of elimination in tournaments or competitions. So.00:04:04JackTechnology is the practice of that.00:04:07JackSo they, you know, I mean it, it didn't really need a name, you know, like filling out a bracket for trying to predict, which, you know, people will do it for the World Cup, for soccer and stuff like that too. But now it has a name. And so they call it bracketology.00:04:14JackMHM.00:04:27JackWhich is kind of interesting I think.00:04:29XochitlOK, I remember actually doing this.00:04:33XochitlIn Kentucky, like when I was growing up in high school during madness. Yeah. Yep. It's a big basketball state.00:04:35JackOhh big basketball state, yes.00:04:41XochitlDuring March Madness, which is like the kickoff of the basketball season, right, we would have these like paper like we would get these during school. They'd give us, like, uh, a paper with little brackets and you would put, like, the sports team, your sports teams or whatever on them they went.00:04:56JackYeah. And what? What did you did you go based on like, the colors of the jerseys or something like I?00:05:02JackWant blue wind and.00:05:02XochitlI could. I honestly think I was. I honestly think I just like.00:05:07XochitlI have no idea. I think I just spaced out or I would just like write down some random stuff and then spend the extra time that everyone else was doing. It was like drawing on the back of the paper.00:05:17JackRight, right. Right, right. Yeah.00:05:19JackIf you're not into sports, I I think bracketology is probably maybe the most boring thing, but the the fact that, like now sports gambling has been legalized in.00:05:31JackErica, I think a lot of people are really getting into, you know, brackets and sports and betting on games and things like that. And so because of gambling, I think that people are taking it much more seriously because there's money involved. Right? And so, so they've actually.00:05:48XochitlOh yeah.00:05:51JackGiving it a proper name. So there you go, listeners bracketology.00:05:58JackAnd our last one is chefs kiss.00:06:05XochitlOhh chef because I is is the one I'm definitely familiar with. It's like the if something's perfect, it's like ohh chefs kiss more and the person kisses their hand. Like when the chef makes a perfect meal. Yeah, that's kind of what it is.00:06:18JackYeah.00:06:22JackRight. Kissing the fingertips of your hand. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, you know, like, yeah, the chefs, chefs kiss with, like, you're, like, throwing a kiss kind of to the chef or celebrate.00:06:34XochitlYou know, to the perfection of the dish or whatever you created or whatever.00:06:38XochitlIs going on.00:06:39XochitlYeah.00:06:40발표자Yeah, I've. I've never, I've.00:06:42JackNever really liked this one. I do use it sometimes when I am teaching a class and you know it's Korean students and I tell them, like my favorite dish. I'll say something like, you know.00:06:58JackI don't know some kind of some kind of Korean dish, and I'll and I'll do the chefs kiss and to kind of emphasize how much I really love that dish and.00:07:11JackEverybody sees it's.00:07:12JackKind of a universal gesture, isn't it?00:07:15XochitlYeah, yeah, I think well, in the US, it certainly is. I don't know if it is other places. Uh, yeah.00:07:23JackYeah, my Korean students tend to understand when I do this, but.00:07:27XochitlOh, when you do this as kids. Oh, interesting. I think because of the propagation of U.S. media culture, like our movies are seen all over the world. And our TV shows are seen all over the world. So I think because of that, a lot of our gestures are like adopted.00:07:28JackYeah, yeah.00:07:41XochitlInto other cultures.00:07:42JackI totally agree.00:07:43JackWith you, I was thinking of like ratatouille or something like that.00:07:46XochitlYes, exactly. Ratatouille, I agree.00:07:50XochitlYeah, alright. Listen as well if you know what her chefs kiss is, make sure to leave a comment down below at A-Z englishpodcast.com shoot us an e-mail at AZ englishpodcast@gmail.com or join our WeChat once of groups to join the conversation. I would honestly love to hear if there is a similar gesture in your culture and I'll see you guys next time. Bye.00:08:10발표자OK.00:08:11JackMoi!Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/vocabulary-spotlight-3-recently-added-words-to-websters-dictionary/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Jack tests Xochitl on her knowledge of 2010s slang.Transcript:00:00:01JackWelcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and I'm here with my co-host social. And today I'm going to test socials knowledge of 2000 tens slang and so here's the first one, social. What does lit mean? If something is lit?00:00:20XochitlLit means.00:00:23XochitlWell, has a couple of meanings, but one of them is like I'm lit. Is like getting drunk or tipsy, or like under the influence and the other one is like, oh, that parties lit is like ohh it's awesome. It's a great time like.00:00:37JackWhat amazing fun, exciting.00:00:41JackThat party last night was so lit.00:00:46JackOK. All right. You got it. #2, this is right in your wheelhouse though, so.00:00:51XochitlYeah, this is like right there.00:00:53JackThis is university for you right here.00:00:55XochitlYeah, well, this is a.00:00:57XochitlHigh school, I think. Yeah, right.00:00:58JackOur high school. Sorry, younger than I thought. #2 slay.00:01:05XochitlSlay. Yeah, this is high school for me. Like sleigh Queen is like it's hard to describe. It's kind of like imagine with someone shows up at a party dressed in an amazing outfit and you'd be like sleigh queen. Go off. It's like.00:01:25XochitlIt's like kill him with that awesomeness. Kind of.00:01:29XochitlI don't know if it's.00:01:31JackDo you like to do something or to wear something exceptionally well or to look stunning like you look amazing. There's an example. She absolutely slayed that performance.00:01:44XochitlYeah, yeah, that's a good idea. That's a good way to put it too.00:01:47JackAlright, #3 FOMO.00:01:51XochitlBeer of missing out. Jack and I talk about this all the time. It literally just means, you know, maybe you're at a party and you hear about another party and you want to go to that party. You're always waiting for the next best thing to happen.00:02:03JackRight. I I suffer from serious FOMO. Like fear of missing out of things. Example, I didn't go out with my friends last night because of FOMO.00:02:18JackDoes that make sense?00:02:19XochitlNo, that doesn't.00:02:20JackWait, I'm sorry. I'm I'm reading this off ChatGPT. That makes no sense at all I.00:02:25XochitlThat makes no sense.00:02:26JackIt it's the opposite of FOMO. I I went out with my friends last night because of FOMO.00:02:29XochitlYes, it would, definitely.00:02:34XochitlYes, that's correct.00:02:35JackYeah. Sorry everyone, I've I've chat CPT. Let me down here on this one. Yeah, because if you're, if you have FOMO, then you have to go.00:02:45XochitlYes, if you have phone or you can't miss.00:02:47XochitlOut on an opportunity to go out.00:02:49JackYeah, if you if you don't go out and you stay home, you're suffering from serious FOMO, like fear of missing out, OK?00:02:59Jack#3 squad, like your squad.00:03:02XochitlYour squad is your people, like your friend group.00:03:10JackWhat are you doing tonight? Heading out with the squad.00:03:14JackYeah, my friends.00:03:16XochitlYeah, you're fine.00:03:16JackYeah, my, we we used to call saying my peeps.00:03:19JackBut that's like 90s.00:03:21발표자Right.00:03:23JackSo cringy right. OK.00:03:27JackSo so why are00:03:27JackYou always throwing shade at me.00:03:31XochitlIs that one of the one of the OK throwing shade is like taking a dig at someone.00:03:32JackYeah, throw shade. This is the.00:03:34JackNext one.00:03:39JackRight. Insulting or criticizing someone.00:03:44JackHere's an example sentence. Did you hear her throw shade at him during the meeting?00:03:51JackThese examples are terrible.00:03:53JackBy the way, I.00:03:54XochitlKnow that one does kind of that one works, at least that one is in line with what it actually means. It's just like not the.00:04:00XochitlBest example but.00:04:03JackAt least it makes sense though.00:04:06JackOK. Last one is Savage.00:04:11XochitlSavage Savage is like, Oh my God, you're such a savage. When you go off on someone, it's like it's like how people now say menace. Yeah, yeah.00:04:24JackAnd sometimes it it can be like a like a.00:04:28JackLike you're you're. You're not afraid of anything. You know, like you. You're a savage. You're just. Did you see her comment? She's so savage.00:04:37XochitlYeah, it definitely can be, like, admirable to be savaged.00:04:42JackAll right. Well, that was our last one.00:04:45XochitlOh, OK. All right, listeners. Well, if you have any questions about the.00:04:49XochitlSlang or want to know about?00:04:51XochitlOther slang. Make sure to join us. I'll be making compiling a little list of more Gen. Z slang to be able to quiz Jack. So you guys, we can all laugh together next episode and we will see you guys next time. Make sure to leave a comment down below it. It is englishpodcast.com. Shoot us an e-mail at AZ English.00:05:09XochitlPodcast@gmail.com.00:05:11XochitlAnd join our channel, what's up groups to join the conversation and we'll see you guys next.00:05:14XochitlTime. Bye bye.Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/vocabulary-spotlight-2010s-slang/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Xochitl and Jack decide whether a person is a jerk for wanting to split the bill according to what each person owes as opposed to splitting the bill evenly.Transcript:00:00:01JackWelcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and I'm here with my co-host social. And today we are going to do an am I the jerk situation. So social. I'm going to read you a situation from one of our listeners and then we're going to give some advice and say whether the person is the jerk.00:00:22JackOr not the jerk. So here's the situation.00:00:26JackI was at a restaurant with a group of friends when the bill arrived, everyone decided to split it evenly, even though I only ordered a salad and a glass of water, while others ordered multiple appetizers, drinks and desserts.00:00:41JackI felt it was unfair to pay the same amount as everyone else since I didn't consume as much.00:00:48JackHowever, I didn't want to cause conflict or appear stingy by asking to split the bill based on what each person ordered.00:00:58JackSo now I'm torn between speaking up for myself or staying quiet to avoid confrontation.00:01:08JackAm I the jerk?00:01:11XochitlWell, how would they?00:01:13XochitlBe the I'm confused on how on why they think they would be a jerk.00:01:18JackI think they're saying am I the jerk if I, if I don't pay, if I only pay my portion, if I don't do the split bill thing?00:01:28XochitlNo, I don't. I don't think there's any reason to think they would be the jerk because they only paid I'm a I'm a big fan of, I mean.00:01:38XochitlUh. In cultures where or in, in friendships and stuff where you might maybe alternate UM.00:01:45XochitlPaying the bill, putting the bill when everyone goes out, I think that's fine. But also, if someone's only got a small thing, I don't think it's fair to make them pay evenly. Split the bill evenly. What do you think, Jack?00:02:00JackYeah, this has happened to me too before where I think I I ordered like 1 drink and then the people that I was joining had been there for hours eating, drinking whiskey.00:02:12JackI mean, just like, you know, racking up the bill.00:02:17JackAnd then they go. All right, let's split it all up, you know? And then they gave me, like, a a huge bill.00:02:24JackA huge portion of the bill and I said.00:02:28JackLook, I I only had one drink.00:02:31JackI'm not paying for your, you know, whole meal that I never got to enjoy. And the whiskey that I never got to drink, you know? And they looked at me kind of weird, but they they I think they understood, you know the situation.00:02:37XochitlRight.00:02:50JackIn this case, I don't know. I'm kind of like.00:02:55JackI don't know.00:02:56JackI there's there's a few. I have a few kind of ideas about it. My first idea is like if you can't afford to go out to a restaurant, just don't go.00:03:08JackYou know what I mean? Like, sometimes the people go, oh, I can't really afford this, but I'm going to go and just have a salad and that will somehow.00:03:10XochitlRight.00:03:18JackThen I can afford that salad and then I get to to be with the people. And then when they split the bill, you realize ohh now I've got to pay more and.00:03:29JackIn that case, I just feel like maybe you maybe that that restaurant is just too expensive for, for you and it's better to just decline the the offer the invitation even though you really want to go. I think you have to, you know, know what you can afford and what you can't afford. And there's they're really.00:03:49JackYou know, shortcuts can backfire, you know.00:03:54JackAnd on the other hand, what I'm what I'm thinking is that like, just from a purely fairness standpoint, it doesn't seem fair that just one little salad that costs $10 and now you have to pay $30.00 because your friends were ordering drinks and they were someone had a tomahawk.00:04:15JackSteak. And you know what I mean? It's like that's totally unfair. And so calling calling it out.00:04:22JackIt depends on. I mean if the whole group is kind of like always does it with the split bill, then you should just order more and.00:04:32JackGet your money's worth.00:04:35JackOr don't go in the first place.00:04:39JackBut in this particular instance, I think it's OK to say something, but but I wouldn't do it again. I wouldn't walk back into that trap again next time.00:04:49XochitlWhat do you mean by like? Walk back in that trap.00:04:52JackWell, obviously if you if the friends are like if you've got friends with money or whatever and like it sounds like this situation, but that person doesn't have much money, I would say.00:05:05JackDon't go out to dinner with them again. You know, because it's they're, you know, they're they're they've got a a kind of system and they're on a certain pay level, you know, economic level and maybe you're just not there. So I for me I would just feel uncomfortable.00:05:27JackShould be in that situation because it would give me anxiety. I would be thinking about the bill from the very beginning of the meal instead of just enjoying my time and having drinks like I would. Much rather go to a cheaper restaurant where I know how much things cost and.00:05:44JackAnd and not have to worry about the the money.00:05:49XochitlI guess that I don't think you should have to limit yourself just because.00:05:53XochitlJust because I guess my thing is, I think it's OK to go, I think.00:05:59XochitlIt's I think it's crappy.00:06:07XochitlFor the friends.00:06:10XochitlI guess my thing is like I think they should still be able to go next time it's.00:06:14XochitlJust why not?00:06:14XochitlJust clear up how the bill is being handled ahead of time so that before you order before you ask for the bill, so there's no misunderstanding.00:06:24XochitlUM.00:06:26XochitlYou know just.00:06:26JackYeah, this is and this is the. This is all about, like appearances, right or like, how you're being interpreted. So I think this person is afraid they're going to be interpreted as being stingy.00:06:39JackAnd I think maybe that group of friends that she's hanging out with might.00:06:47JackJudge her as like ohh, uh or him. I don't know who. If it's man or woman, I might say like you know, well, every time we go with Jack, we have to split the bill evenly and it's really annoying and.00:07:01JackYou know, like, I don't know. I guess it just too of I I would just avoid that situation personally. But then like you said, I mean you are missing out on the experience of hanging out with your friends. But if they're your real friends, then they probably would would take your economic situation into consideration.00:07:20JackAnd not make you pay for their expensive meal, the appetizers and and entrees and desserts and drinks and things.00:07:31JackLike that.00:07:32JackSo I don't know, I guess I'm. I'm just, I'm torn. I'm I'm really in the middle.00:07:32발표자And yes, you can fly.00:07:35XochitlI feel like that they're your real friends.00:07:38XochitlThen why is this an issue?00:07:42XochitlUnless you don't like, you really don't have a backbone. You're, like, really scared of of rejection or something? If they're your real friends, why can't you just say, hey, guys, I'm on a budget.00:07:53XochitlUM.00:07:55XochitlI'm happy to see you guys, but I can we just distribute the bill and everyone pays for like what they.00:08:04XochitlBecause I don't know. For me, I'm like, I think it's fine. One thing I really struggled with when I, like, moved to Korea is.00:08:12XochitlAnd uh, foreigners did this, like more often than Koreans, and in my experience, like foreigners living there is like, people would pay for every, like if we go out to a restaurant like my friend group, like one person would pay for everyone's food and then next time we go out, the other person pays for everyone's drinks. And like, so on and so forth. And I just.00:08:32XochitlI it gave me anxiety because I didn't like.00:08:34XochitlPeople paying for my stocks like that.00:08:36JackAnd you know that your your turn and your shout is coming eventually.00:08:42XochitlYeah. And also The thing is like why we could all just pay like I don't want to sound, I'm just probably doesn't make me sound stingy and I'm OK with that. It's just like, why do we all have to pay? Like, it's like we're all. It's like we go out and it's like.00:08:57XochitlIf you're paying for everyone's round of drinks or whatever, you're automatically going to be paying for four drinks.00:09:05XochitlAnd maybe you just want to have one drink that night.00:09:08JackRight now, you gotta have 4 drinks.00:09:10XochitlAnd then then.00:09:12XochitlYou can get your money bread.00:09:14JackYeah. Or you're going to get or you're going to get messed. You're going to get screwed, yeah.00:09:18XochitlYeah, yeah. And so like, that's the thing that I didn't like is like it just made. It's like the thing that made me uncomfortable. And it even if, like, there was one guy in the in the friend group that for some reason had a lot more money than everyone else. And he always, like, would insist on paying for everyone. And it made me, like, uncomfortable, because I just felt like it wasn't.00:09:40XochitlFair to him because.00:09:43XochitlLike we're going out on his dime.00:09:45JackWas he British or?00:09:45XochitlA lot of.00:09:47XochitlNo, no, he was. Well, I don't know. I I think he was South African, I think.00:09:53JackOK, OK.00:09:54XochitlNo, I'm a liar.00:09:55XochitlHis his girlfriend was South African. He was from the US.00:09:59JackOhh. OK OK. Yeah, it's it's a very British thing. You know my round, then you get the next round and the next round. That's a very British thing. Americans are much more likely to just buy their own drinks individually.00:10:13XochitlHe was. I mean, I think the whole thing is like we were in Korea and it's a kind of a Korean culture thing. It's like one person pays a lot of the time.00:10:20JackYeah. The oldest person. Yeah. Which sucks. When you get old like me, so.00:10:26XochitlYeah, he was actually the youngest, and I don't know. I just felt really a lot of times he would pay like, one time I went to get Kate Barbecue and he paid, like, the whole bill. I tried to pay, but he beat me to it. And then another time we went to get like.00:10:42XochitlWe all went out for like drinks, I think, and he paid for everyone's drinks and like it was just something. It would just make me so uncomfortable cause it's like I don't like owing people like that. I it's like it's not. They think that we owed him. He he didn't care and he was really generous. But I in my mind it's like I owe you now and I it's owing.00:11:01JackYeah, I'm the same way.00:11:03JackI I like. I like paying for.00:11:04JackMyself, taking care of myself. I don't know. That's just so in this case, I'm going to say not the jerk because it just makes sense to me to pay yourself for what you pay for what you ate. Like, why is that not enough? Why? Why can't that be? Well, if you only want a salad, you're not hungry.00:11:26JackWhy can't why isn't it? Why?00:11:27JackCan't I just pay for my salad?00:11:30XochitlRight. Why can't you just get a salad? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just like it's weird cause it to me, just like smells. Lot of like, it leaks of like, those people aren't your friends. Really. Because if they're really your friends, you could be like guys, you know, I'm broke right now, and then they wouldn't even put you in that situation.00:11:49XochitlBegin with.00:11:50JackYeah, that's true. That's true.00:11:51XochitlNo, not the jerk. But like get better friends. Because for me, if my friend was broke and.00:11:58XochitlWe were all going out. I'd be like, hey, I've got you. Or, like, between us, we'd be like, hey, like, we'll each pitch in five and cover their tab. You know, obviously, it's not like, an every time thing, but sometimes someone wants to join you, and they can't for whatever reason and in between friends, there's nothing wrong with pitching in. So not.00:12:06발표자Right.00:12:18XochitlTo me, but you know, get better friends, maybe.00:12:18JackNot the joke.00:12:21JackYeah, not that jerk can get better friends.00:12:23XochitlYeah. So, listeners, what do you guys think? Is this person a jerk or not? Let us know in a comment@8zenglishpodcast.com, shoot us an e-mail at AZ English.00:12:32XochitlPodcast@gmail.com.00:12:34XochitlAnd join our we chat lots of groups to join the conversations and make sure to remember that you can always e-mail us if you have a what the jerk situation that you want us to read on the podcast.00:12:43XochitlSee you guys next time. Bye byePodcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/am-i-the-jerk-splitting-the-bill/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Xochitl and Jack give their answer to the question: "Would you rather never have to sleep or eat again?Transcript:00:00:00JackWelcome to the Ados English podcast. My name is Jack and I'm here with my co-host social. And today we're going to do a would you rather question and today's would you rather question is?00:00:13JackWould you rather never have to sleep again, or never have to eat again?00:00:21XochitlNever have to sleep again, or never have to eat again. So the situation is you.00:00:29XochitlBut can you sleep or eat if you want to, or you just can't eat again or sleep again?00:00:36JackI think in this case you like you never have to. Like you can if you want to.00:00:42JackBut you but you. But you don't have to like you don't feel tired.00:00:48XochitlThat makes it harder because it's like if you never have to eat again, you know.00:00:52XochitlHow much money?00:00:53XochitlYou would save.00:00:54JackI know, but if you never have to sleep again, think of how much money, how much more work you could do to.00:00:56XochitlBut if.00:01:00XochitlYeah. And you could just do stuff all the time. Like you could take, like, the eight hour plane. You could take the red red eye flights cause you not even be tired.00:01:10JackYeah, you could read books like all night long or just watch like an entire series on Netflix and then not even.00:01:20XochitlTired. You know what would probably happen is that people would just spend more time watching things on, like YouTube or not like if if they had an extra 8 or 9 hours every day, it's very unlikely that I would start doing something productive with that time.00:01:35JackNo, no. I would just, I would just find I'll find a way to.00:01:38JackKill. There's so much content now.00:01:40JackNo, I mean we have like almost 500 episodes of this podcast already already published.00:01:46XochitlCrazy, crazy, really. I remember when we did episode #100.00:01:48JackYeah, I mean you.00:01:51JackI know. I mean it's it's it our website has, we have probably almost 500 episodes like we're it's you could just spend a week with A-Z English podcast If if if you were inclined with that extra 8 hours a night you know.00:02:08XochitlYeah. Well, in my case, I think I would.00:02:12XochitlThis is a tough one, but I think I would rather never have to sleep again because I am.00:02:22XochitlI feel like I could just travel so much more if I didn't have to sleep anymore and eating is something I really I really enjoy and trying new foods and stuff and it would be kind of hard to eat if you don't feel hungry ever at all.00:02:34JackYeah, you would only be eating for enjoyment.00:02:35XochitlLike, yeah.00:02:39XochitlYeah, but and it just doesn't give you the same joy as like being ravenous and like stuffing down a delicious meal and then feeling full, like, that's part of the experience. And you would have been using that whole part.00:02:52JackIs is there is there like?00:02:54JackA I read like a Chinese proverb or something that said.00:02:58JackHunger is the best condiment.00:03:01JackSomething like that.00:03:01XochitlThat's a. That's a, that's a saying in Mexico too, is in.00:03:07XochitlLambres and Nicholson, which means like uh, hunger is the best flavor or best. Yeah. Yeah. Jack, what about you? Would you rather never have to sleep again or never have to eat again?00:03:20JackNo, I would definitely never have to sleep again. I I I don't. I I.00:03:26JackI'm I'm a night owl by by nature, but I, but at lately I've been as I've gotten older, it's harder for me to stay awake at night. I just fall asleep at, you know, 9:00 or 10:00 at night sometimes.00:03:39JackAnd I would love to just always feel awake, you know? I mean, just imagine, like, it's almost like a superpower. You know. You're. Yeah. And I love food, you know, so the problem is if I'm awake all that time, am I exercising or am I eating and watching TV? So.00:03:47XochitlIt is a superpower.00:03:58XochitlYou're probably eating and watching TV, to be honest with you, because that's what I it's like. People rarely are, like suddenly we're going to be productive, just cause we have eight more hours in the day. That's not going to happen. I mean, realistically that won't happen.00:04:01JackGot it.00:04:11JackI'd like to think I would be like podcasting that whole time, you know, just recording and doing stuff like.00:04:16JackThat, but I don't know. Maybe I'll become like a superhero and just go out and like, fight crime from like 11:00 to 7:00 every every night. I don't know.00:04:29XochitlRight. That's definitely gonna have getting. So you'd rather not. So you'd rather lose sleep then. Or. Sorry. Lose. Yeah. Lose sleep. Basically. You don't have to sleep anymore.00:04:33JackRight.00:04:40JackYeah, as long as I don't feel tired. I don't because there's nothing worse than that than losing a night of sleep like I'm dealing with jet lag.00:04:46JackYou know, and it's the worst. So yeah, if I, as long as I don't feel tired, I'm going 100% putting all my cards down on that one.00:04:58XochitlYeah, same alright listeners, AZ listeners leave us a comment down below at AZ englishpodcast.com shoot us an e-mail at AZ englishpodcast@gmail.com or join our WhatsApp and we chat groups to join the conversation and let us know would you rather never sleep again or never eat again?00:05:19발표자 3Bye bye bye.Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/topic-talk-would-you-rather-never-have-to-sleep-or-eat-again/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of The Jack & Chill Podcast, Jack and Xochitl talk about their experiences with loss and the grief that goes along with those experiences. Transcript: 00:00:00XochitlYou are listening to the Jack and Chill podcast Jack. Today we have a little bit of a heavy topic brief Jack.00:00:20XochitlYour experiences with grief and how would you define it for our listeners?00:00:24발표자OK.00:00:25JackYeah. So grief is A is a a tough topic and for our listeners out there, grief is the emotion that you feel when.00:00:33JackSomeone that you you loved, a loved one passes away or or dies.00:00:39JackAnd for me, I I never really experienced it.00:00:47JackI I I didn't experience it for a long time because when I was born my 2 two of my grandparents were had already passed away or passed away when I was a baby. So you I just grew up never knowing my my grandfather on my father's side.00:01:07JackAnd I grew up not knowing my grandmother on my mother's side and my grandfather on my mother's side was alive. But we we weren't really in contact with him. He was an abusive alcohol.00:01:22JackAlec and so growing up, there was a lot of.00:01:29JackStress in my my mother's family because of my grandfather's drinking and and when he was when I was in middle or sorry, elementary school, maybe fifth grade during summer camp, my grandfather passed away in a nursing home and my parents.00:01:49JackAsk me, you know, do you want to go to the funeral?00:01:52JackWe'll come pick you.00:01:52JackUp or you can just stay at camp and.00:01:57JackI just stayed at camp and I I really felt nothing. I, I I remember meeting him one time in the nursing home and it was just scary, you know, because it was all all these.00:02:10JackElderly, sick people, very thin and.00:02:15JackI he I just. I didn't have any relationship with him at all. So I I really only had my my father's mother, my grandmother, and my father my father's side.00:02:28JackAnd she we called her Bubba. Uh and Bubba was the best. You know? She really.00:02:39JackFilled in for all the for the other three grandparents that didn't have I I wouldn't trade, you know, four grandparents for for one, Bubba and yeah, ever. Because she was amazing. And and she lived to be 92 years old.00:02:57JackAnd so she passed. Maybe in, like, 2009. I think if I'm not mistaken, somewhere around there. Uh, my daughter was just a baby at the time and.00:03:10JackAnd I I felt.00:03:11JackVery, very sad, obviously because it's it's hard when you lose someone that you.00:03:18JackOf but I also, on the other hand, she lived to be 92 years old, like she lived a very full life, a very long life. Yeah, I grew up in the Great Depression in America, in on a farm in South Dakota. So she was tough, you know.00:03:27XochitlRight.00:03:38JackTough as nails like there is no, she didn't. She wasn't a, you know, delicate person. You know, she grew up in the hard times in America and she.00:03:55JackMarried my my grandfather, who was a a mechanic in the military. He served in Panama building of the Panama Canal during World War 2. So, you know, it was there just just that famous, you know, kind of story.00:04:15Jack1950s, they had their children. They grew up in the 50s and 60s. My my father was in elementary school in the 50s and then high school and university in the 60s and early 70s.00:04:29JackAnd so that was my first experience with with grief. But in the last three about three years ago, my one of my very, very close friends, I probably I have a best friend from high school and a best friend from college.00:04:48JackAnd my best friend from college passed away, and that was.00:04:57JackYou know it's.00:05:00JackHe he was young, you know. I mean, not not. Maybe not not, you know, not not like in his 20s. He was in his his 40s but.00:05:10XochitlThat's young to pass. That's very young to pass.00:05:11JackYeah, that's that's very young to pass. And and that was that one.00:05:18JackYou know, stop me in my tracks. You know, it was. That was a very, very difficult one to process and I think I'm, you know, still processing it and and probably will always be processing it in some way because.00:05:36JackIt just leaves a a massive hole in your in your heart, in your life, where?00:05:45JackSomething will happen and you, you you want that person's advice or you want to tell that person and you and you remember that they're not here and and you can't. You can't tell them and you'll never laugh together. You'll, you know you you won't. You're not going to share a moment again.00:06:06JackAnd everything you had with that person is everything you will ever have with that person. And that's a very here's an English expression for our listeners, a hard pill to swallow. You know, it's hard to accept that reality that.00:06:23JackThis. That's it. You know, the time that you had is the time is the is the only time that you.00:06:29JackYou get with that person and.00:06:32JackIt just seems cruel, you know that an illness would.00:06:40JackUM.00:06:42JackAffect someone that young and and take them away from from from their family and from their friend?00:06:48JackAnd and and yeah, it just it just kind of.00:06:55JackI don't know what the word is like. I've it it it it it's it has like a dulling effect. Like it a a numbing effect. Yeah. It it leaves you kind of like.00:07:08JackIt it could be dangerous because it can make you cynical, right? Like it can make you kind of angry at the world or angry at God or or or just kind of like, what's the point of of all this? Because.00:07:24JackAnyone that we love can just be torn away from us at any moment.00:07:28JackOr but but that's the the that's the anger stage of grief. I think you know where you're just you get angry and you you don't. You shouldn't stay. You don't want to stay in that mindset. You know, of of anger.00:07:29XochitlRight.00:07:45JackYou want to move on to acceptance.00:07:49JackAnd appreciate and be happy and and blessed that you at least the time that you did have with that person be be lucky that you're able to have that time with that person, but it's hard to get to to that stage of grief. I think it it does take a lot of kind of its internal struggle within yourself.00:08:10JackIt takes.00:08:13JackA more mature kind of.00:08:17JackApproach to life and understanding that wow, you know, like life is very delicate and it's not as nothing is guaranteed. And so it'll make you hug that your loved ones that are still here a.00:08:32JackLittle bit harder.00:08:34JackAnd you know what I mean? Like, in, in that moment.00:08:37JackNow for example, I was in America recently and I got to see my daughter and even though she was embarrassed, I I I made sure to hug her and tell her I love her. When I said goodbye to her.00:08:52JackI I didn't care if if it embarrassed her friends or anything and she didn't care either because, you know, it's like that you you never, ever know. There are no guarantees in in life. And so those are that was my my take away from my experience with grief and.00:09:12JackHow? How? How about you? Like how? How have you been dealing with with your experiences with grief?00:09:20XochitlWell, for our listeners, I think there is an important concept about the stages of grief in the United States. We call them like the five stages of grief and their denial, which is like kind of denying that it happened, glossing over it. You really don't feel any of those feelings you're kind of.00:09:41XochitlIt's hard to process or even perceive that it really happened. Then there's anger, which is, of course, being angry about what happened or feeling like, you know, it was unfair. There's the bargaining stage, which is the stage where you're like, oh, it's only this had happened, maybe they wouldn't have passed. If only this had happened. If I had done this differently.00:10:00XochitlThey had done this differently. If the doctors had done this differently.00:10:03XochitlAnd this all wouldn't have happened. And then there's a depression stage, which is kind of where your feelings get the best of you. And you're starting, you're in the midst of processing them. I feel like and.00:10:15XochitlYou feel a.00:10:16XochitlGreat sadness. It's hard to get out of bed. It's hard to do your daily tasks and the last stage is acceptance, which is what Jack was talking about, where you accept.00:10:26XochitlWhat has happened and you can maybe take some valuable lessons or, you know, move forward with.00:10:33XochitlA better understanding of what occurred.00:10:36XochitlI think it's hard for me because.00:10:39XochitlYou can, uh. Contrary to popular belief, you can experience these in any order, and you can also experience the the cycle multiple times.00:10:48XochitlAnd for me, what I struggle with the most.00:10:52XochitlIs I.00:10:56XochitlAnd the kind of person that.00:10:59XochitlI don't think I process. I don't think I process my feelings because I see everyone else around me crying and stuff and I'm just standing there awkwardly and I do cry sometimes but it but not it's like I.00:11:17XochitlIt's not like an in the moment thing like how I see everyone else going through stages in the moment. It's kind of like.00:11:26XochitlI feel like a third person watching everything happen. You know what I mean? I don't know if this resonates at all.00:11:31JackYeah, there's a word for that. It's it's disassociation, right?00:11:35XochitlYeah, I kind of disassociate. It's like you're. It's like watching a a life movie. But it's your life. But you're watching it as if it weren't your life, as if it's a movie or you're seeing it in the third.00:11:48JackYeah, that that's a coping mechanism, I think.00:11:51XochitlYeah, it is a coping mechanism. Yeah. And that's definitely how I. It's like a faulty. It's known as a faulty coping mechanism, which is like an unhealthy coping mechanism. And the only one that I experience a lot because.00:12:04XochitlWell, in Mexican tradition, there's a lot that.00:12:09XochitlIs different. I think different from us tradition and it was.00:12:13XochitlThings that were really hard for me to experience because it's my grandmother passing was the first time that I was actually here for someone in my family passing and it's the Mexican side. So we did everything the Mexican way and that means like, as she was.00:12:27XochitlPassing away, we were we all had to be in.00:12:30XochitlThe room with her.00:12:33XochitlSo we were watching our part. We were in the hospital with her non-stop. Pretty much. My mom slept there every single night in the ICU and the rest of us were there pretty much every single day and night at different varying times.00:12:51XochitlWhen they took out life.00:12:52XochitlSupport with like watch her pass but it was very hard because.00:12:56XochitlDeath isn't like the movies, where they're like, unconnected someone from life support, and they just, like, quietly pass like they're falling asleep.00:12:57발표자OK.00:13:05XochitlIt's not really what happens. I don't really need to serve any of our viewers, but like they people kind of gasp for breath, for breath, for a long time when they're unhooked from life support. Probably in my experience they can have an immediate collapse that does happen. But what happened with my grandmother is that she kept.00:13:23XochitlGasping for air for a long time, but she wasn't like there. Mentally, like she couldn't speak. She didn't even know we were there. She didn't respond. Like if I.00:13:31XochitlLike waved my hand over her eyes to see she's like her eyes were clouded over, but it was like her body, her lungs still gasping for breath, and this went on for like.00:13:42XochitlI wanna say like 24 hours. Uhm, I wanna say and UM.00:13:50XochitlIt was really hard and then you have to stay with the body overnight in Mexican tradition, so you can't, like, go home and you have to sleep in the hospital.00:13:58XochitlWith the body or whatever.00:14:01XochitlUM, once a person has passed away, the body can't be alone the first night. So my aunt, my mom, my sister slept.00:14:10XochitlI went home because I was sick and I had already slept in the hospital. Like two nights I wanted to. Yeah, just like in, in a chair, because there wasn't any, like, beds or anything for us to sleep in. And I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how everyone else did it. I felt like sick, like, I could barely.00:14:30XochitlFunction at that point.00:14:31JackSure. And emotionally, you are just that, was it? You were.00:14:37XochitlYeah, I couldn't do anymore. I sell exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And I I don't know how other people push through. It's like I just couldn't do it. It had been days. It really been over a month since my aunt. I had a good night's sleep because my grandmother had been sick all the time, and we had been watching her and my sister and my mother flew in and.00:14:57XochitlThey hadn't, really.00:14:58XochitlThey had been resting up until that.00:15:01XochitlPoint. So they really had.00:15:03XochitlTo take over some stuff for us, but.00:15:05XochitlThat was really hard part. And then the other.00:15:07XochitlHard part was.00:15:09XochitlUM.00:15:11XochitlOnce you know she passed and everything before the cremation like we had to see her body.00:15:16XochitlAnd that's still hard because people's bodies it changes once they pass, like their skin changes. It was like purple, and I won't go into details just, you know, scar our audience or anything. But it was very difficult and it was difficult for me because it's like my sister and my aunt. My mom were all.00:15:37XochitlCrying and I was just standing there like.00:15:40XochitlDisassociating I was humming a song that she really liked, that my grandmother really liked, that her favorite song I was like humming that, but I was checked out. I like was not there.00:15:49XochitlAt all and it's.00:15:50JackYeah, yeah.00:15:51XochitlWeird to see everyone like crying over the body and I was just like I was in outer space. I was not. I was not there and I was not crying.00:16:01XochitlAnd so I think it's weird how everyone processes grief differently, but I think you.00:16:05XochitlCan feel weird when.00:16:07XochitlEveryone else is kind of processing in a similar way, and you're like the odd one out.00:16:12JackYeah, that is. I mean, I I really get upset when people judge the way.00:16:19JackPeople grieve because I I think I'm same as you. It's almost. It's almost like an overload, you know? Like the like. When the computer freezes.00:16:32JackYou know, there's just. There's too much. And what happens is I just kind of have an out of body experience. Like, I just kind of float away and just say like, you know, no too much can't.00:16:48JackCan't deal with this and I'm going to I'm I'm going to go to another dimension for a little while and catch my breath.00:17:00JackAnd that can.00:17:02JackKind of cold to people from the outside, you know, looking in as you, you're just standing there, but you're not crying. And you, you're you're you just look normal, quote UN quote normal. But inside you're you're you're just dealing with so much.00:17:21JackAt one time that you just, you just kind of check out like you said and.00:17:27JackI I think.00:17:29JackAgain I I.00:17:30JackJust think that's like a a self preservation kind of a thing. It's like, yeah, exactly. A coping mechanism. It's it's just, it's just the way your your brain is wired. It's like too many stressors in in one moment.00:17:35XochitlCoping mechanism.00:17:49JackAnd you just kind of free.00:17:50JackThere's, you know, there's that that kind of fight flight or freeze. I don't know if if that applies here or not, but I think it it makes what you're describing makes perfect sense to me because I think I I process things the same way as you. But I think like when?00:18:12JackWhen those emotions settle down.00:18:15JackAnd you'll you'll have a moment where you will be able to process it in a more.00:18:23JackFor lack of a better word, traditional way.00:18:26XochitlRight. Typical way maybe.00:18:28JackYeah. And, you know, some people just don't like to cry in front of other people, you know? So when I, when I when finally the floodgates opened and I I wept, it was during my during the funeral, which was took place during COVID so.00:18:47JackThe uh.00:18:49JackSo. So the funeral was online, so I just remember just being alone in.00:18:57JackIn my office, in my house and this is like 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. And I was just weeping.00:19:06JackAnd but it had taken me days to to get to that that stage where it finally hit, you know, kind of like a.00:19:19JackLike an arrow. Just boom I. It was. I was finally ready to start processing. But maybe you know the days prior to that.00:19:32JackIt just seemed unreal. It's like, you know, the this is not. This is not really happening, you know it's it's it's the.00:19:40JackKind of that kind of thing. And and I I just, I I don't I don't I I if there's one take away from our talk today about grief is I just think there's you know 6 billion people on the planet or 7 billion people and there's probably 7 billion different ways to grieve.00:20:01JackAnd I, and we shouldn't rush to judgment when people don't follow the, quote, UN quote, traditional methods of of weeping. I I think movies have really like, like you said, when you're describing the process.00:20:18JackDeath in the movies, you know the the the person dying often just you know they've.00:20:27JackIt's so romanticized, you know, they kind of, you know, brush their hair back and then close their eyes and and that's it, you know.00:20:37JackAnd that that's not the the dying process. I I was listening to an interview with the lead singer of U2 talking about his father's passing. And he he said, you know, dying is is as messy as being born.00:20:59JackYou know, we we come into. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's it's not a it's it's he. That was what that was his take away from it because he had never experienced that but taking care of his father in his final days.00:20:59XochitlYeah, just accurate.00:21:11JackHe was very surprised at just how.00:21:16JackMessy and and ugly, the process can be.00:21:21JackAnd and it's so unlike.00:21:24JackYou know, in the movies where it's just so you know you're you're here and then you're gone. But it's actually a process. Death is a a slow process sometimes. You know, it can be immediate, but it can also be drawn out. And. And I don't think we I think we we it's it's too.00:21:45JackIt's too ugly a thing for us to to look at and and talk about.00:21:52JackI I think we.00:21:54JackWe we don't want, we don't want to accept that as the reality, but I think anyone working in a hospital or Hospice.00:22:03JackYou know people who are in the medical profession, they they understand this reality very well.00:22:14XochitlI agree with you and.00:22:17XochitlWear some tickles or lessons that you feel like you gained.00:22:23XochitlAfter you, kind of.00:22:26XochitlAfter things settled down from someone's passing.00:22:31JackYeah, I that's a good question. And I I wonder, you know if I.00:22:36JackI I don't know.00:22:37JackIf I have any wisdom for for people, I think, well, here's something that I think is is helpful for.00:22:45JackFor people, and I think that people should remember this when someone passes the.00:22:54JackI think the worst thing you can do.00:22:59JackTry to.00:23:02JackProvide some meaning to it for the persons.00:23:04XochitlThat's true. That's true.00:23:06JackWhich I which it.00:23:07JackIt it sounds.00:23:08JackCounterintuitive, you know, because you think that if you, if you could just say the one profound thing.00:23:14JackTo the person at the funeral.00:23:16JackThen they will feel better.00:23:20JackBut it's it has nothing to do with it's. It's all about the person grieving. It's nothing to do with you. The friend of that person. The only the only appropriate response, I think, is to just grieve together and just, just just wrap your arms around that person.00:23:41JackHug them and say I'm so sorry for your loss that that's it. There is nothing. There are no magic words that are going to take away the pain of of a lost one. So coming up and saying, you know, well, you know, he's with God now or she's with God now.00:23:59XochitlIt's all part of God's plan and stuff like that. Everything happens for a reason. That's one of the worst ones.00:24:01JackRight. It's part, yeah.00:24:04JackIt happened for a reason. Yeah. This because it doesn't. There's no reason for it. There's no. You know what I mean? It's not. There's no plan. There's no reason for it.00:24:16JackIt's just a tragedy. It's just sad. And why is that not enough?00:24:22JackYou know, I I think that should have to be enough for for us like.00:24:28JackIt's it's just sad. It sucks.00:24:32JackAnd we're going to just sit in this, but you're not going to sit in it alone. I will sit in it with you. That's the best thing that you can do for someone who is grieving.00:24:45JackDon't offer any advice. Don't. Yeah. Don't talk about the God's plan or anything like that. Just say this sucks and and I'm going to be here. You're not going to go through this alone.00:24:59JackAnd I think that if people understood that.00:25:04JackA little bit better it it would. It would avoid a lot of those awkward.00:25:09JackConversations you know at at where you know people are trying to provide some sort of reason or or.00:25:17JackYou know.00:25:19JackExcuse for why this happened, it's it's just it just sucks. It's just a terrible, terrible tragedy, tragic situation and that has to be enough. And and there is no like resolution. There's no, there's no third act to this sort of.00:25:39JackIn this sort of situation, it's just it's terrible and but I'm here for you any way you need me. That's why I think it's it's kind of beautiful when people kind of surround someone who has lost somebody and they cook a meal for them and deliver it.00:25:55JackYou know.00:25:56XochitlYeah, that's one thing that like for me and going through the screening process with like with my grandmother passing and being here for my mom and my aunts like more than saying something or whatever. I wish we I wish people there were more people who brought a meal.00:26:16XochitlOver offered to to bring a meal over, or offered to help. Uh, clean out some of my grandmother's belongings and, you know, offload some things.00:26:27XochitlAnd you know.00:26:29XochitlI just wish there were more people that tried to offer support in those ways because I think that's more.00:26:36JackYeah, the words words are are almost meaningless in those situations. I and I hate to say it because it's. I know that people saying them are they think they're they're doing something.00:26:48XochitlFor their well meaning.00:26:50JackThey're well meaning but.00:26:53JackI I would say.00:26:55JackYou know, I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hug. And how can I help you? What do you need? Because in those moments, the last thing you want to do is be cleaning your house or cooking meals and that sort of thing. And so those little gestures are actually much more meaningful than any words.00:27:16JackThat you can say at a, at a funeral or awake or anything like that.00:27:21XochitlYeah, because that's one of the big things we've been dealing with is like trying to cook.00:27:26XochitlAnd like wrap your heads around buying groceries and cooking. And even when we bought groceries, they like spoil because we were at the hospital all the time and.00:27:36XochitlIt's just so hard to do those basic things. I think like those are really good things you can do to support.00:27:45XochitlPeople, when their loved one has passed away for sure.00:27:49XochitlJack, how about? Ohh sorry, didn't you? I was just going to say. How about lessons you took?00:27:51JackAlright, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, no.00:27:57XochitlFrom the people in your life that have passed on, you know sonned ways that you remember them and things you learned from them.00:28:05JackYeah. Yeah, so.00:28:07JackI I think that.00:28:11JackJust thinking about my grandmother and her.00:28:15JackHer, her strength and her resolve, you know, just and also her.00:28:22JackAbility like her capacity to love was it's seemed limitless and she she she really was.00:28:31JackA. A kind.00:28:34JackPerson you know and and yeah, we we use that word kind. I think it's overly used you know. But she was, you know she was truly a kind person.00:28:45JackUM and.00:28:48JackI I I really do.00:28:53JackI I really am so lucky that I had such a loving grandparent. I mean the this is a pretty big she was the, I mean she, she.00:29:03JackShe was filling the the place of four grandparents with just the 11 grandparent. But you know, she was like a second mother, you know? It was just like we're going to Bubba's.00:29:14JackWas and she, you know, it was such such a traditional kind of grandmother, you know, she had chocolate chip cookies all the time. She baked pies. She, you know, she was an amazing cook. We would play board games at her house and.00:29:30JackIt was just. It was.00:29:32JackJust so much fun. She was such a fun grandma.00:29:34JackAnd UM. Uh. Very uh.00:29:40JackVery, very loving and and and. And my friends. I mean, I could go on for days and days, but you know we he it's it's interesting like he he's a friend we we never had a.00:29:59JackLike a cross.00:30:00JackMoment or anything. Do you know what I mean? Like.00:30:04JackYeah, it was. It was just.00:30:07XochitlYou just clicked.00:30:07JackYeah. We just clicked. We just clicked our our personalities, our sense of humor just aligned perfectly. He was very much like a like an older brother for me because he was a few years older than me. And and I I I wanted to be like him. He was.00:30:27JackAnd he was cool. And and I looked up to him and and he was a a confidante, you know, a person that I could tell.00:30:39JackAnything too. And I knew that he would, you know, keep it. You know he wouldn't, you know, gossip or anything like that. And it was just just a very trust, trusting person and and loved life well traveled.00:31:00JackEverybody got along with everybody. Yeah. I mean, he there's just no one that he couldn't get along with. Yeah, it it's just a. It's a huge, immense loss and.00:31:14JackI I I I I I'm so happy to have have known him. What about you? What? What what? What did you would you could you say you've taken away from your your grandparents?00:31:28XochitlI think one thing I learned, not directly to them, but after their passing was.00:31:37XochitlAs much time there's not, there's never too much time spent with your loved ones because one day they might just not be there. And maybe sometimes we put it off for later, like Oh well, I'm, you know, I'm busy. I have this to do. So I I can't, you know, come see you or whatever and then.00:31:57XochitlYou know, one day you don't even have that that option and.00:32:02XochitlIt just makes you value the time that you have with with your loved ones. The times that you have with the people that you cherish that much more because you.00:32:09XochitlRealize it's not forever.00:32:12JackYeah, yeah.00:32:14XochitlUM, yeah. And the big thing I learned from my grandmother indirectly. You know, she was always telling us go live your life and enjoy your experiences. Enjoy your youth as much as you can because your loved ones kind of kind of thought process. But a lot of times she she held herself back from doing things because.00:32:36XochitlThere was only something more important than her, you know, traveling or her going to do something she really wanted to do and.00:32:48XochitlIt made me realize, like the moment is kind of now your life is is right here in this moment and you never know.00:32:56XochitlIf tomorrow.00:32:59XochitlIs going to come and so you have to, you know, don't.00:33:04XochitlMake your plans for later all the time. I mean, obviously there are some things that are long term goals, but as don't leave.00:33:14XochitlEnjoyment for later every time. Don't leave.00:33:19XochitlYou know your life for later every time because it will go by in a blur it and there will be so many moments that you missed out on because you were just waiting.00:33:31JackI I think that's a great great advice, I mean.00:33:31XochitlYou enjoy.00:33:35JackI think there's something about that generation that is.00:33:39JackYou know.00:33:42JackThere's our your generation and and my generation are are different. I think. I think we're starting to realize that, you know, and taking those lessons and and I think that the the older generation like the the baby boomer generation and and older.00:33:59XochitlSilent generation, yeah.00:34:00JackYeah, they're they're kind of like.00:34:03JackMy my joy. What are you talking about? What does my happiness have to do with anything? You know, like my, my happiness is irrelevant. And and that's kind of sad. You know that. That's the the kind of.00:34:22JackThinking that they, you know, they're they were always worried about their children, you know, like the the children's happiness. And I think I think the younger generations now are starting to go, you know what? Maybe the.00:34:37JackThat way, overused expression, carpe diem, you know, sees the day is.00:34:43JackIs actually. There's some truth in that that you, you your happiness is not irrelevant. It's OK to.00:34:53JackHave experiences chase your dreams, live your life to the fullest and and not have any regrets when you, when you pass and these kinds of sudden losses.00:35:12JackRemind us of that. I think that's what you're you're getting at. It's like, ohh yeah. I need to if I if I'm going to honor my grandmother's life or honor my friend's life, then I need to live my life to the fullest. And I think that's part of the acceptance stage as well.00:35:33JackIn the grief process is like you, you're turning, you're going to turn something terrible.00:35:40JackAnd try to.00:35:43JackInstead of being depressed, instead of trying to negotiate a different outcome.00:35:48XochitlFeeling negatively, yeah.00:35:50JackExactly. You're gonna. You're going to live.00:35:53JackEven a little more.00:35:56JackPassionately love a little bit more intense.00:36:00JackMostly work a little more. I don't know. You know. Just. Yeah. Yeah. I think those are the and and and and I I I don't. I hate to say that that's like turning a negative into a positive because it's not that's not what.00:36:07XochitlBuild your goals and your dreams.00:36:20JackWhat you're doing, but what you're doing is you're honoring that person's life by not like.00:36:27JackDealing with, you know, getting drunk every night to try to forget about it is not honoring that person's life. And so, and that's how some people cope with depression and anger and denial and all those things and the acceptance stages that no, you're you're living healthfully, you're still.00:36:30XochitlRight, you mean?00:36:35JackRight.00:36:47JackYou still grieve that person's the loss of that person, but.00:36:53JackYou're also living your life.00:36:56JackAs fully as you possibly can to honor that person because they no longer are able to. And so, and I think that's the that's the most beautiful thing you can do in the wake of a tragedy like that.00:37:14XochitlYeah, because for me, it's like we're cleaning out my grandmother's things, and there's so many things that they're gifts that my aunt gave her that my mother gave her that were still wrapped in the packaging because they were, like, saving them for a special occasion and and middle.00:37:34XochitlOccasion was special enough.00:37:36XochitlKind of thing, because that's like the thinking that's the mindset behind it is like it's like it's never the right moment. And I think the older generations were very much about save now, enjoy later. And I think our US younger generations are starting with enjoy now and save later.00:37:56XochitlThere, there must be a balance somewhere in there, but I don't think they found it.00:37:58JackThere's probably some like happy middle ground.00:38:02JackBut you know all what do all those things mean in the in the end, you know, it's like, you know, maybe your grandmother should have just opened those presents and let the grandchildren play with them, you know, or you know what I mean? Like, like, really experience them and touch them and look at them and.00:38:23XochitlEnjoyed them? Just enjoy her own life because I feel like she never thought about her own happiness. She didn't really. I'm sure she had joyful moments she did. I know that as much, but it's like I feel like so many joyful moments that she could have had she just put them to one side because her children were more important.00:38:43XochitlThe grandchildren were more important. Whatever was going on was more important in the moment than taking that trip, enjoying something for herself, being selfish for once. And I think it's just it's so important to just.00:39:00XochitlHave those special moments for yourself sometimes.00:39:04JackI I totally agree with you and you know, I mean, what is she? What? What is she guilty of? She's guilty of being a very selfless person, you know, and exactly, exactly. And. And that's something that you can appreciate about her and just say, wow, what a what a a beautiful, selfless person she was.00:39:13XochitlI know which is the beautiful thing for sure.00:39:24JackAnd and you know, maybe she did derive great happiness.00:39:28JackOn on seeing her family thrive, you know, and and do well. And and I get that as a parent, I think I I would I would get a lot of I get a lot of happiness in seeing my daughter succeed and and and sometimes that's enough to but.00:39:48JackLike you said, I think.00:39:52JackMaybe you know, uh, taking that trip or doing that thing that you really, really want to do.00:40:00JackIs doesn't make you a selfish person either you know.00:40:04XochitlYeah, it's the situation where it's like.00:40:10XochitlIt's your children and grandchildren will be so much that much happier to see you also do things for yourself.00:40:19JackThere you go. That's right. That's right. And that's the one that's maybe where they can't quite get to in their minds. It's like they're, you know, they're going to think that I'm being selfish. And it's like, no, no, no, we we want you to be happy too.00:40:20발표자Sorry things for you.00:40:36JackAnd so yeah, I think that.00:40:40JackThose are some good, good takeaways. Actually. I'm. I'm glad we had this conversation because it actually helped me process some of my own.00:40:48JackKind of thinking and ideas around grief.00:40:53JackYeah, it's. It's too bad you know that we that that you experienced that so recently and.00:41:01JackYeah, I'm just. I'm really sorry for your loss.00:41:04JackUM.00:41:05XochitlI appreciate it.00:41:06JackBut, but I'm glad we had this conversation was really, really helpful.00:41:10XochitlYeah, me too. Alright, listener as well. If you have ever had a loved one pass away, you're going to grief yourself. You know what it's like. Or if you you're lucky and you don't know what that's like yet and you know, let us know. And our WhatsApp group leave a comment down below at AZ englishpodcast.com or shoot us an e-mail at AZ.00:41:31XochitlPodcast@gmail.com we would love to hear about how grief is in your culture, what grief is like in your country, what the funeral process is like. All of those things I really like to hear about all you guys, different traditions in your home countries. So yeah, shoot us a line, as we say in the US and.00:41:50XochitlSee you guys next.00:41:51XochitlOK. Bye bye.Podcast Website:Social Media:Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7WeChat ID: atozenglishpodcastIntro/Outro Music: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_05_Mells_Parade/https://freemusicarchive.org/music/holiznacc0/power-pop/mutant-club/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Jack discusses one specific reduction of Did you: "Didja."Transcript:00:00:01JackWelcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and I'm doing another solo episode today. As we step into the vocabulary spotlight, we are going to talk about something called reductions and.00:00:15JackThis is a a kind of odd.00:00:18JackI don't. I didn't know which category to put this episode in be. I think vocabulary spotlight is probably the best.00:00:28JackWhat we're when we're talking about reductions reductions are words that we kind of smashed together.00:00:36JackBut they're not formal words, OK? And the ones that everybody knows are wanna gonna agada wanna gonna and gotta wanna want to gonna going to gotta got to OK native speakers rarely.00:00:56JackPronounce going to.00:00:59JackAs going to.00:01:01JackWe mostly pronounce it when we're talking as gonna.00:01:09JackI'm going to get up at 8:00.00:01:12JackOK, uh, we rarely say want to. I want to go to an amusement park. No, we say, you know what I want to.00:01:22JackGo to an amusement park.00:01:23JackWanna. But if you look in the dictionary for wanna gonna and gotta.00:01:28JackYou're never going to find it because they're not words. It's not like.00:01:33JackUMA compound word such.00:01:37JackBook store bookstore.00:01:40JackOK, that's a that's a formal word. You can find that in a in a dictionary with the definition bookstore. A store that sells books.00:01:49JackBut if you look in wanna WANNA.00:01:53JackYou'll never find it because it's not in the dictionary. OK, it's not a word. It's a reduction. That's what we call them reductions. So we're not going to talk about, alright? Used gonna there. We're not gonna talk about wanna gonna gotta today I want to talk about.00:02:11JackAnother one that I think can be.00:02:14JackIs very common that a lot of teachers overlook, but students are kind of left confused because.00:02:22JackThey're they don't know what the teacher said, right? So this one is did you did you? So this is the title of today's episode, Didja.00:02:33JackDid you have a good weekend?00:02:35JackDid you have?00:02:36JackA good weekend.00:02:39JackDid you have lunch?00:02:41JackDid you have lunch?00:02:45JackDid you go to the mall?00:02:46JackDid you go to the mall? OK. And what is that? Did you is a reduction of did in you again it's not a compound word. It's not a word. It's just.00:02:58JackA reduction. It's just an easier way to pronounce it, and it's tends to be it's it's informal. You cannot write this in an e-mail. You cannot write. Wanna gonna gotta didja in an e-mail. You have to write it. Did you want to going to? Got to.00:03:18JackHowever, when you're talking, you're gonna hear it a lot.00:03:24JackI think students should understand that there's, and there's kind of some minor rules around this. For example, when D&Y are next to each other, when the a word ends with a D sound.00:03:38JackAnd the next word starts with a Y sound. Native speakers, Native English speakers. Speakers tend to insert a J sound there. Did you did you? Did you? Did you? OK, so it you could you? A reduction could be. Did you? That's fine. That works. Did you have a good weekend? Did.00:03:57JackDidja is a much shorter and more common reduction of did you? Did you have a good weekend? Did you have lunch?00:04:06JackDid you go to the mall?00:04:08JackOK, now if you so when you're talking, feel free to, you know practice this a little bit throw it in there. You know when you hear did you you know now it means did you did you did you did you now sometimes native English speakers will get really crazy with their.00:04:28JackProduction of did you?00:04:30JackAnd they'll even make it short.00:04:34JackAnd I'll give you an example here of I'll use the same examples.00:04:39JackYou have a good weekend.00:04:41JackYou have a good weekend.00:04:43JackOK. Did you have a good weekend? Have a good weekend. So we reduced. Did you all the way down to Joe?00:04:56JackYa did you did ya?00:05:01JackYou have a good weekend.00:05:03JackHey, Bob.00:05:05JackJeff, lunch.00:05:07JackHey Bob, did you have lunch?00:05:11JackOK.00:05:15JackDid you go to the mall this weekend?00:05:17JackDid you go to the mall this weekend?00:05:21JackOK, so you can notice how we can reduce it even more. So what I want you to do this is your your uh homework assignment here for my A-Z listeners out there.00:05:32JackThe next time you have a speaking opportunity and you find yourself using, did you try it? Try it out, throw in a didja.00:05:39JackDid you did JA or JA?00:05:42JackAnd see how the other person that you're talking to reacts to that. I see if they notice it because again, these reductions are so common that.00:05:55JackI think people won't even notice, but your, your, your, your, your English will sound so much more natural and authentic and like a native speaker.00:06:06JackSo this is just I'm giving you guys a little tiny clue, a hint into sounding more like a native speaker, so next time don't say, did you say did you? OK, but remember, this is only when speaking. When writing you must write it out formally. Did you? OK, so this is not acceptable.00:06:29JackMaybe in text messages it's OK, but in emails or any sort of formal business setting you have to write, did you? But when you're talking, feel free to throw in a didja and that's the title for today's episode. I think is didja alright.00:06:47JackDid you have a good time with this episode?00:06:49JackLet me know in the comments A-Z englishbroadcast.com send us an e-mail A-Z englishpodcast@gmail.com. You can also join our WhatsApp group and leave a message in there. I will reply to you. You can also join our WeChat Group. I know a lot of our Chinese listeners are.00:07:10JackActive in the WeChat.00:07:12JackAnd I try to jump in there from time to time and talk to our our Chinese listeners as well. So with that said, thanks everybody. I will see you next time. Bye bye.Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/vocabulary-spotlight-didja/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Jack gives students a list of words which are better than very.Here are example sentences for each of the alternatives to "very":Extremely - The weather was extremely hot, reaching over 100 degrees Fahrenheit.Incredibly - She was incredibly talented, effortlessly playing complex pieces on the piano.Exceptionally - The food at that restaurant was exceptionally delicious; it surpassed all our expectations.Remarkably - His recovery after the surgery was remarkably quick; he was back on his feet in just a few days.Exceedingly - The workload at her new job was exceedingly demanding, requiring her to work long hours.Utterly - The sight of the majestic mountains was utterly breathtaking; she stood in awe of their beauty.Terribly - He felt terribly sorry for his mistake and apologized profusely to his colleague.Profoundly - The novel's ending affected her profoundly; she couldn't stop thinking about it for days.Absolutely - The view from the top of the hill was absolutely stunning; it took her breath away.Intensely - Their argument became intensely heated, with both parties refusing to back down.These sentences demonstrate how each word can be used to convey different degrees of intensity or emphasis in various contexts.Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/vocabulary-spotlight-words-that-are-better-than-very/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Jack explains the differences between here and hear and where and wear.Transcript:00:00:01JackWelcome to the Edison English podcast. My name is Jack, and today I have a solo episode for you and we are in the grammar zone.00:00:13JackAnd we are.00:00:13JackGoing to continue our lessons on homophones. Homophones are words that sound the same, but they are spelled differently.00:00:25JackAnd today's homophone.00:00:29JackOur home phones are here and here.00:00:34JackAnd the spelling for the first one is here HERE.00:00:39JackAnd this one indicates a place or a location. So for example, come here and sit down.00:00:50JackUM, sometimes when we are meeting someone at A at a destination.00:00:58JackWe will send a text message and say I'm here.00:01:02JackI'm here, meaning I'm here at the place where we are going to meet.00:01:09JackAnd so that would always be HERE, here, here.00:01:17JackNow there is.00:01:20JackAnother word.00:01:22JackQRHEAR.00:01:25JackWhich sounds exactly like HERE. The pronunciations are exactly the same.00:01:32JackOK here here.00:01:34JackBut HEAR.00:01:38JackRefers to the act of perceiving sound, so.00:01:44JackHearing sound right and you can see you. It's in the word hearing, right?00:01:51JackThe the ability or the act of sound going into your ear.00:02:06JackSound waves going into your ear.00:02:09JackOr into your ears and creating sound for you. That is the act of hearing.00:02:17JackThe act of hearing. And so you could ask someone this question, can you hear the music, you might say to someone listen.00:02:28JackCan you hear the music? And maybe there's there is some softly playing music.00:02:35JackIn the distance.00:02:38JackOK. Or the music is too loud?00:02:43JackI can't hear you.00:02:46JackOK. Or speak more loudly please, because I can't hear you. That's HEAR.00:02:57JackSo there there are two homophones here and here.00:03:02JackAnd I'm going.00:03:03JackTo do 2 more uh. To make this episode a little bit longer, this would be a really short episode. If we only do here.00:03:11JackSo let's.00:03:11JackDo where and where.00:03:14JackOK, so where and where?00:03:16JackWhere WHERE? Asks about a place or a location for example. Where did you go?00:03:26JackOhh, I went to America.00:03:30JackWhere the place? What place did you go? OK. Location or place? Where are you?00:03:38JackYou could send again like that text message.00:03:41JackWhere are you? I'm here. I'm at the place where we are meeting. I'm here.00:03:48JackI'm next to.00:03:49JackThe subway. Ohh OK.00:03:54JackThe second one where WEAR.00:03:58JackRefers to putting on clothes or accessories. Accessories would be like you wear a necklace or you can wear earrings, or you can wear rings.00:04:09JackClothes would be you're wearing shirts and pants and socks and underwear and a hat.00:04:15JackOK.00:04:17JackWearing clothes.00:04:19JackOr wearing accessories.00:04:22JackFor example.00:04:24JackI like to wear hats.00:04:27JackAnd this is something that I really love. I love to wear hats. I have a lot of baseball caps.00:04:35JackI always wear a baseball cap.00:04:39JackSo I love to wear hats. I love to wear hats, so wear wear here and here.00:04:49JackAnd hopefully that is helpful for you.00:04:55JackAnd if you want to contact me in on e-mail with some example sentences.00:05:02JackYou can contact me at A-Z, englishpodcast@gmail.com.00:05:07JackOr you could join our WhatsApp group in the AZ WhatsApp group. You can give me some examples of here, here, where and where.00:05:17JackAnd if you would, if you're part of our WeChat group, you can also leave some examples in our WeChat group and I'll try to read those and get back to you with my responses.00:05:29JackAnd with that said, we will see you next time. Thanks everybody. Bye bye.Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/grammar-zone-here-vs-hear-and-where-vs-wear/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Xochitl and Jack discuss the differences between your and you're.Transcript:00:00:00JackWelcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and I'm here with my co-host social. And today we are back in the grammar zone and social. Today we're looking at.00:00:13JackTwo homophones that are commonly confused, especially in writing, and that because they sound the same, so it doesn't matter when you're speaking, but when you're writing, they're actually spelled differently. It's your and your.00:00:30JackAnd so let's start with YOUR your what? What's the part of what part of speech is it? What does it mean? And can you give us an example?00:00:41XochitlYour is possessive. It indicates possession of something. So is that your breakfast? Is that your bottle of water? Like you're asking someone. Does that belong to you? You know, and so.00:01:00XochitlIt just indicates possession, essentially. That's why OER.00:01:02JackRight and.00:01:04JackFor the subject would be you, you, your it was like I my he, his, she, her. You. You're like that it's just it's just the possessive pronoun for the pronoun you you know.00:01:14XochitlYeah, you. Yes.00:01:19JackWhat about your YOU apostrophe re?00:01:24XochitlUMYOU apostrophe RE litter is a contraction of U&R which are two different 2 words. They're combined together with an apostrophe, so a lot of people get confused because in English we also use apostrophes to show possession like you would say Jack apostrophe S jacks.00:01:45XochitlThis Jacks laptop, so I think it gets confusing for students because YOU apostrophe RE. It seems like ohh there's an apostrophe there, it must indicate possession, but it doesn't. Apostrophes are often used in contractions which are when you combine two separate words and make them one word in the English language.00:02:07XochitlAnd this is 1 staple of native speakers is that we speak with a lot of contractions which can be confusing for students and non-native speakers as well.00:02:17JackYes. Yeah, that's you made some great points there.00:02:22JackI think the the best way to to kind of tell if if it's wrong is to break it into two words. So if you're saying like is this your computer and you spell it, YOU apostrophe RE separate those and say you are is this UR computer.00:02:41JackAnd then you think about that sentence makes no sense at all.00:02:44JackRight. Is this you are computer? No. It would you say? Is this your computer? YOUR because it's a possession. Not meaning you R. And so I think that I don't know. That's how I've always done it. You know, just if you separate the just take away the contraction.00:03:04JackAnd then if the sentence makes sense, you're OK. If the sentence is crazy like.00:03:11JackYou know you are. He is sitting in you are seat, you know. Then you know that something is wrong. No, he is sitting in your seat. Then it's then it's correct.00:03:24XochitlYeah, I think that's probably the best way to remember. As Jack said, just separate them out. And yeah, if this makes sense to you, if you have any other grammar questions that you would like to ask us, make sure to leave a comment down below at A-Z, englishpodcast.com, shoot Jack Ryan e-mail at AZ englishpodcast@gmail.com.00:03:45XochitlOr join the WeChat and WhatsApp groups to join our conversation and we'll see you guys next time. Bye.00:03:49XochitlOK.00:03:50JackBye bye.Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/grammar-zone-your-and-youre/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. You can check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2aXaXaMY4P2VhVaEre5w7ABecome a member of Podchaser and leave a positive review!https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-a-to-z-english-podcast-4779670Join our Whatsapp group: https://forms.gle/zKCS8y1t9jwv2KTn7Intro/Outro Music: Daybird by Broke for Freehttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Directionless_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Directionless_EP_-_03_Day_Bird/https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcodeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-a-to-z-english-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy