In this episode, I talk to renowned psychotherapist and author Esther Perel about love and relationships. We tackle the true essence of the word “eros” and “freedom” in the context of romantic relationships. Esther offers her perspective on marriage and affairs, getting to the root cause of why people cheat. With the redefinition of fidelity and sexuality, our current society is still learning how to navigate new patterns of relationships. We also touch on the topics of soulmates, masculinity, how to keep passion alive during a global pandemic, and Esther’s practice as a cross-cultural therapist. BioEsther Perel is a psychotherapist and a New York Times bestselling author, recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she hones a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 30 million views and her best-selling books Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs are global phenomena translated into nearly 30 languages. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin? And How’s Work? Her latest project is Where Should we Begin − A Game of Stories with Esther Perel. Website: www.estherperel.com/ Instagram: @estherperelofficial Topics 00:02:14 Adapting to the COVID-19 pandemic 00:05:04 Social connection during the pandemic 00:10:41 “The erotic is an antidote to death” 00:16:02 True freedom in relationships 00:21:05 Soulmates don’t exist 00:25:38 Why people in happy marriages cheat 00:33:54 Where Should We Begin? 00:38:00 Redefining marriage, fidelity, and sexuality 00:45:30 Esther’s cross-cultural approach to therapy 00:48:35 Esther’s interest in cultural transitions, identity, and relationships 00:54:01 The masculine obsession with power 00:59:13 The Great Adaptation  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, I talk to Richard Tedeschi about post-traumatic growth (PTG). We dive into how Richard became interested in PTG and the findings from his many years of research. As a clinical psychologist, Richard emphasizes the lived experiences of individuals⎯acknowledging that trauma and transformative change are very context-specific. We also touch on the topics of cultural differences, personality, and Boulder Institute’s post-traumatic growth program. BioDr. Richard Tedeschi is professor emeritus of psychology at University of North Carolina at Charlotte. He’s a licensed psychologist specializing in bereavement and trauma, and has led support groups for bereaved parents for over 20 years. With his colleague Lawrence Calhoun, he published books on post-traumatic growth, an area of research that they have developed that examines personal transformations in the aftermath of traumatic life events. Their books include Trauma and Transformation, Posttraumatic Growth, Facilitating Posttraumatic Growth, Helping Bereaved Parents: A Clinician’s Guide, and the Handbook of Posttraumatic Growth. Website: https://pages.charlotte.edu/richtedeschi/ Topics 00:00:54 Richard’s interest in post-traumatic growth 00:04:05 Definition of post-traumatic growth (PTG) 00:06:01 Domains of PTG 00:10:02  Perceived change VS actual change 00:16:27 PTG as positive personality changes 00:20:42  Boulder Crest Institute’s post-traumatic growth program 00:26:01 Trauma as a disruption in the psyche 00:29:16 Richard’s roots in humanistic therapy 00:31:08 The subjective experience and response to trauma 00:36:43 Cultural differences in posttraumatic growth 00:40:24 Can posttraumatic growth and PTSD co-exist? 00:38:42 Post-ecstatic growth 00:44:50Catastrophe theory 00:46:07 The pandemic as a potential catalyst for growth 00:48:28 How to facilitate post-traumatic growth See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi everyone, today is a very special episode of The Psychology Podcast. A few nights ago, the legendary psychiatrist Dr. Aaron Temkin Beck passed away peacefully in his sleep at the age of 100. Tim, as his friends and family affectionally called him, lived an exemplary, full life well lived. Personally, he was a dear mentor and friend of mine. I used to live in the building next door to him in Philadelphia and we'd have tuna sandwiches together on Sundays at his place and discuss humanistic psychology and how to treat patients as humans first. He was always so encouraging of my work, and I enjoyed our discussions about his life and work immensely. I will miss his bow tie, fist bumps, and a sharp mind, which lasted all the way until the end. In my last in-person meeting with him just before the pandemic hit, I handed him a microphone and asked if he would talk about what research he was most excited about these days and whether he could give any advice to young psychologists. That recording is what you will hear today on the podcast.Remarkably, Tim worked all the way up until his death. To many, he is most known for his work in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), which is a time-sensitive, structured, present-oriented psychotherapy that has been scientifically tested and found to be effective in more than 2,000 studies for the treatment of many different health and mental health conditions. When implemented correctly, CBT can help individuals get better and stay better.However, not many people know this, but Tim’s work was much more than the seminal work he did pioneering CBT. Tim was recently working on a new form of psychotherapy with his colleagues Ellen Inverso and Paul Grant called "Recovery-Oriented Cognitive Therapy”, which deeply humanizes psychiatric patients. Guided by Tim’s cognitive model, Recovery-Oriented Cognitive Therapy (CT-R) is an evidence-based practice that provides concrete, actionable steps to promote recovery and resiliency. Originally developed to empower individuals given a diagnosis of schizophrenia, Recovery-Oriented Cognitive Therapy applies broadly to individuals experiencing extensive behavioral, social, and physical health challenges. It is a highly collaborative, person-centered, and strengths-based approach, as it is focused on developing and strengthening positive beliefs of purpose, hope, efficacy, empowerment and belonging. The approach is specially formulated and effective for individuals (i) who have a history of feeling disconnected and distrustful of service providers, (ii) who are not help-seeking, or (iii) who experience challenges that impede action towards aspirations. The reach of Recovery-Oriented Cognitive Therapy extends to mental health professionals across all disciplines, families and loved ones, and peers with lived experience.One other thing I’d like to mention before we get to today’s episode is the Beck Institute. In 1994, Tim and his daughter, Dr. Judith S. Beck, founded Beck Institute as a 501(c)3 nonprofit with the mission of improving lives worldwide through excellence and innovation in Cognitive Behavior Therapy training, practice, and research. In 2019, Beck Institute opened the Beck Institute Center for Recovery-Oriented Cognitive Therapy to train professionals and staff who work with individuals given a diagnosis of a serious mental health condition, such as schizophrenia. Beck Institute honors the legacy of Dr. Aaron Beck by providing training and resources in both CBT and CT-R to people around the world. In the nonprofit’s 27-year history, over 28,000 health and mental health professionals have received training in CBT or CT-R through a variety of programs. You can help honor Dr. Aaron Beck’s legacy by making a gift to the Aaron T. Beck Fund at Beck Institute. This enables the organization to continue Dr. Beck’s latest work with the Center for CT-R at Beck Institute, develop programs, fund scholarships for trainees, and everything in between. The Beck Institute website can be found at beckinstitute.org. OK, now without further ado, I bring you our guest today, Dr. Aaron Beck. RIP,  Tim.       See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, I talk to Isaac Prilleltensky about well-being and happiness. We start our discussion by highlighting the environment and community’s role in well-being instead of conceptualizing it as a purely individualistic construct. Isaac further elaborates on the dangers of mattering “too much” and why we need to balance personal and collective wellness. We also touch on the topics of fairness, social justice, humanistic psychology, and Isaac’s works as a humor writer. BioIsaac Prilleltensky holds the inaugural Erwin and Barbara Mautner Chair in Community Well-Being at the University of Miami. He’s published 12 books and over 140 articles and chapters. His interests are in the promotion of well-being in individuals, organizations, and communities; and in the integration of wellness and fairness. His most recent book is How People Matter: Why It Affects Health, Happiness, Love, Work, and Society, co-authored with his wife, Dr. Ora Prilleltensky. Website: www.professorisaac.com/ Topics 00:01:10 Isaac’s definition of well-being 00:04:55 Predictors of well-being and happiness 00:06:58 The need to matter 00:09:48 Corrective justice to achieve equality 00:19:31 Me vs. We Culture 00:25:44 Fairness is a prerequisite for mattering 00:28:18 Risks of glorifying grit and resilience 00:32:16 Balancing liberty, fraternity, and equality for a self-actualized society 00:39:27 Democratize happiness 00:43:29 The right and responsibility to matter 00:51:27 Psychology and the status quo 00:53:44 Isaac as a humor writer: smarter through laughter 00:56:21 Fun for Wellness See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, I talk to George Bonanno about trauma and resiliency. We start off by discussing what people get wrong about trauma and how this led to the invention of the PTSD diagnosis. George defines what resilience is, how it’s different from growth, and its paradoxical correlation to individual differences. Finally, he elaborates on how the flexibility mindset and sequence help us get through personal traumatic events or global tragedies like 9/11 or the COVID-19 pandemic. Bio Dr. George Bonanno is a professor of psychology, chair of the department of counseling in clinical psychology, and director of the Loss, Trauma, and Emotion Lab at Teachers College Columbia University. He’s the author of The Other Side of Sadness and The End of Trauma. Website: www.tc.columbia.edu/LTElab/ Twitter: @giorgiobee Topics 00:01:41 Jerome L. Singer’s influence on George 00:05:42 Society’s skewed view of trauma 00:08:15 Explaining the PTSD diagnosis 00:10:38 People are more resilient than you think 00:14:23 Resilience VS growth 00:19:50 The resilience paradox 00:24:44 The flexibility mindset 00:29:58 The flexibility sequence 00:34:50 How to be more flexible 00:38:11 Goal-directed self-talk 00:47:50 The resilience blind spot 00:50:06 What 9/11 teaches us about resilience 00:53:10 We’ll overcome the COVID-19 pandemic  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today it’s great to have Steven Pinker on the podcast. Dr. Pinker is the Johnstone professor of psychology at Harvard University. A two-time Pulitzer Prize finalist and the winner of many awards for his research, teaching, and books. He’s been elected to the National Academy of Science, and named as one of Time’s “100 Most Influential People”, and one of Foreign Policy’s “100 Leading Global Thinkers”. His books include How the Mind Works, The Blank State, The Stuff of Thought, The Better Angels of Our Nature, The Sense of Style, Enlightenment Now, and most recently, Rationality: What It Is, Why It Seems Scarce, Why It Matters.  In this episode, I talk to Steven about the definition of rationality, how it relates to truth, and how it’s different from logic. We also discuss the trade-offs in decision making, the limited usefulness of strategic irrationality, the boundaries of socially acceptable fiction, and why people have weird beliefs among other things.Website: stevenpinker.comTwitter: @sapinker Topics01:02 Must we always follow reason? 03:34 Steven’s definition of rationality 05:24 Tension between conflicting goals 08:31 What is truth? 13:12 When to apply logic or rationality 23:14 There can be no trade-off between rationality and justice 25:35 Politicizing knowledge and research 29:24 Strategic irrationality has limits 36:13 Taboo trade-offs, heretical counterfactuals, and forbidden base rates 42:04 The changing norms of acceptable fiction 45:56 Why rationality is cool 49:39 The costs of decision making 55:54 Progress came from utilitarian reasoning 57:52 "The pandemic of poppycock" 01:01:23 Expressive rationality: morally empowering beliefs 01:05:26 Bayesian reasoning  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today it’s great to have Annie Murphy Paul on the podcast. Annie writes about how the findings of cognitive science and psychology could help us to think and act more intelligently. Annie contributes to the New York Times Magazine and the New York Times Book Review, Slate, and O, The Oprah Magazine, among many other publications. She’s also the author of a number of books including The Cult of Personality, Origins, and most recently, The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain. In this episode, I talk to Annie about the research and concepts in her new book The Extended Mind. We debunk the notion that intelligence is only in the brain by discussing how our bodies, spaces, and relationships all contribute to thought processes. Finally, we also touch on how to build knowledge and expertise through productive cognitive loops, cognitive unloading, and imitation.  Topics 01:05 Thinking outside the brain 03:54 Individual differences in interception 09:51 Annie’s definition of intelligence 13:30 Cognitive loops enhance intelligence 15:31 Is the mind always extended? 17:10 The brain’s dynamic role in thinking 21:14 COVID-19 has turned us into “brains in front of screens” 24:57 Information overload 28:11 Using intuition to think rationally 30:22 Expertise is not brain bound 31:37 The best relationship hack: eat spicy food together 33:50 The research behind The Extended Mind 38:32 Cognitive unloading 40:51 Mastery through imitation 43:00 Scott’s theories about shared expertise 45:39 Reminiscing about Annie’s first episode on The Psychology Podcast 46:22 Embracing the extended heartSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-psychology-podcast/supportSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today it’s great to have Paige Harden on the podcast. Dr. Harden is a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, where is the director of the Developmental Behavior Genetics lab and co-director of the Texas Twin Project. Her new book is called The Genetic Lottery: Why DNA Matters for Social Equality. Topics· Heritability does not imply determinism· What is the value of the heritability coefficient?· Nature and nurture are always intertwined· Genes, giftedness, and responsibility· Separating individual differences from hierarchy· Genetics as a tool for social policy· Can we systematically improve general intelligence?· Prioritizing self-actualization in education· Group differences data, racism, inequality· Anti-eugenics and the great synthesis· Polygenic scores: evaluations, correlations, and applicationsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today it’s great to have Nick Gillespie on the podcast. Nick is a libertarian journalist who is currently an editor at large at Reason. A two-time finalist for digital National Magazine Awards, Gillespie’s work has appeared in the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, The Los Angeles Times, The New York Post, Slate, Salon, Time.com, Marketplace, and basically any other publication that you’re ever going to read. The Daily Beast named Nick one of “The Right’s Top 25 Journalists”, calling him “clear headed, brainy…among the foremost libertarians in America.” Topics· Reason: “free minds and free markets”· What does being a libertarian mean?· A critique of American’s intervention in Afghanistan· Nick’s childhood and upbringing· The values of libertarianism· Parallels between Maslow and libertarianism· Nick’s pseudonym Mr. Myxzptlk· Child-proofing the world· How parenting styles and expectations shape children· The millennial experience of pressure and self-actualization· The paradox of marginalization and acceptance in current society· The purpose of cancel culture· Canceling people in positions of powerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today it’s great to have Richard Ryan on the podcast. Dr. Ryan is a professor at the Institute for Positive Psychology and Education at the Australian Catholic University in North Sydney and professor emeritus in psychology at the University of Rochester. Dr. Ryan is a clinical psychologist and co-developer of Self-Determination Theory (SDT), one of the leading theories of human motivation. He’s among the most cited researchers in psychology and social sciences today, ranking among the top 1% of researchers in the field. Dr. Ryan has been recognized as one of the eminent psychologists of the modern era, listed among the top 20 most influential industrial organizational psychologists and has been honored with many distinguished career awards. He’s co-author with Edward Deci of the book Self-Determination Theory: Basic Psychological Needs in Motivation, Development, and Wellness. Topics· Dr. Ryan’s interest in psychology· Dr. Ryan’s influences in psychology and philosophy· What is self-determination?· The continuum of motivation· The underdog narrative as a motivating force· Self-Determination Theory’s Basic Needs· Is benevolence a basic need?· Ego involvement in exploration and self-esteem· Dr. Ryan’s attempt to meet Maslow· Transcendence, mindfulness, and integration· Self-Determination Theory in relationships· Changing organization culture through motivationWorks· How do we fix the current education system?· Dr. Ryan’s view of positive psychology· SDT as a criterion to improve social policy· Dr. Ryan’s upcoming projectsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.