Esther Perel || Love, Eros, and Infidelity

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Nov 11, 2021

Esther Perel, a bestselling author and psychotherapist celebrated for her insights into modern relationships, dives deep into the essence of love and infidelity. She discusses how the COVID-19 pandemic reshaped social connections and redefined fidelity. Perel explores the nature of eros and the complexity of maintaining passion, while challenging traditional views on monogamy and masculinity. Through candid reflections, she reveals the potential for personal growth after infidelity and encourages a new understanding of emotional intimacy.

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INSIGHT

Eros as Life Force

The erotic is a life force that makes you feel vibrant and alive, not just about sex.
It involves playfulness, curiosity, and imagination, connecting you to vitality.

INSIGHT

Balancing Needs

We all need both grounding (security) and travel (exploration) in relationships.
These needs often complement each other, though they create tension.

ANECDOTE

Work in Marriage

Esther Perel has been married over 30 years and emphasizes relationships require work.
This contrasts with the "soulmate" concept, where effortless connection is expected.

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In this episode, I talk to renowned psychotherapist and author Esther Perel about love and relationships. We tackle the true essence of the word “eros” and “freedom” in the context of romantic relationships. Esther offers her perspective on marriage and affairs, getting to the root cause of why people cheat. With the redefinition of fidelity and sexuality, our current society is still learning how to navigate new patterns of relationships. We also touch on the topics of soulmates, masculinity, how to keep passion alive during a global pandemic, and Esther’s practice as a cross-cultural therapist.

Bio

Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and a New York Times bestselling author, recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she hones a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 30 million views and her best-selling books Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs are global phenomena translated into nearly 30 languages. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin? And How’s Work? Her latest project is Where Should we Begin − A Game of Stories with Esther Perel.

Website: www.estherperel.com/

Instagram: @estherperelofficial

Topics

00:02:14 Adapting to the COVID-19 pandemic

00:05:04 Social connection during the pandemic

00:10:41 “The erotic is an antidote to death”

00:16:02 True freedom in relationships

00:21:05 Soulmates don’t exist

00:25:38 Why people in happy marriages cheat

00:33:54 Where Should We Begin?

00:38:00 Redefining marriage, fidelity, and sexuality

00:45:30 Esther’s cross-cultural approach to therapy

00:48:35 Esther’s interest in cultural transitions, identity, and relationships

00:54:01 The masculine obsession with power

00:59:13 The Great Adaptation

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