Therapy Works

Rosie Jones who has cerebral palsy is known primarily for her comedy appearances and stand up, she is also an established writer, actor and author.This is a great episode, open your ears, your mind and let go of many assumptions that we all make about being able bodied and having a disability; this conversation will inspire and fascinate you. We discussed : Rosie’s great strength is her ‘constant optimism’, which has been a big part of her success in life personally and professionally – and how exhausting it is. You will hear how for Rosie having a disability means she has to overcome everyone’s assumptions first, before they connect with her. For her, having cerebral palsy is not 1% of who she is.  Rosie talks about how incredible her parents were and how she had to educate them to extend their expectations of her – she is always breaking down other people’s limits that they assume and impose on her.  How humour is a brilliant connector and barrier breaker – humour can mean we, in that moment, have a shared reality. How therapy enabled her to reconfigure who she was, what she wanted and how to get it.  We have a lively discussion about her sexiness, dating and her decision to come out as gay at age 28. Having never spoken to Rosie before, I cried, laughed and became a huge fan in a nanosecond. If you listen to this episode, I have no doubt you will too.Find Rosie: Instagram: @josieronesWebsite: https://rosiejonescomedy.com/Books: https://www.waterstones.com/author/rosie-jones/1013806Tour: https://rosiejonescomedy.com/live/Find Julia:Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe--This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/THERAPYWORKS and get on your way to being your best self.Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am very grateful to Joanne for having the courage to talk to me about her estrangement with her daughter. Estrangement in families is stigmatised and coated in shame and so it isn’t something we hear about very much, although research shows one in five families have a level of estrangement. In this episode, you will learn: How frightening and painful it is to be estranged from one’s child  How fast the estrangement can be from believing everything was fine to being removed from their life  How important it is to recognise that even as therapists we can’t fix others and hard it is to hear distress Strategies to maintain resilience, including connection to her friends, given how horrendous the not knowing, and sitting and waiting is.  Also we discuss ways she can stay connected with her daughter, without triggering further estrangement.  We need to recognise, in all families, that each member of the family has their own reality, which maybe different from ours, and allow everyone’s reality to have a place. How it is often through flexibility, being realistic and future focussed that bridges can be built. How small steps are the most effective. Acknowledging how painful this is is and how it’s helpful to recognise that we can’t look for an upside. Some things are just awful.  Support links: Stand Alone: https://www.standalone.org.uk/Links referenced in the podcast: So you want to stage an intervention: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/helpers-so-you-want-to-stage-an-intervention/Someone I know is being abused. Shall I call the police?: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/someone-i-know-is-being-abused-should-i-call-the-police/Find Julia:Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe--Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is an episode about change, and showing how even change that we want and choose can be hard to process. The wonderful Dr Rupy Ajula is a well known Doctor who founded The Doctors Kitchen and believes that food is a powerful medicine. He has succeeded in life because of his innate warmth and genuine intent to make the world a better place. He talked to me about the challenge of moving from being a practising Doctor in the NHS to being an entrepreneur and businessman. In this conversation you will hear about:- How tricky it can be to form a new identity and a new sense of legitimacy in a new role. Particularly if it presses your buttons of ‘How much am I allowed’ and when it challenges our values of what is ‘good.’- The challenges of building a business that is in public view, and therefore open to the opinions of others. How hard it is to hold trust in one’s own purpose and meaning. - Fascinating insights into what influences us as adults, is what has been modelled for us as a child. -The strengths and particular nuances of being born a British Asian, how that influences him and inspires him to go forward, and yet his parents wish to protect him from the very risks they took. - How developing our true self and finding our own identity; sometimes we have to go away in order to be able to come back. - The amazing power of a gratitude practice. You will hear how this simple practice has shaped and supported Rupy to enable him to be the man he is today.- How gratitude can influence you to reframe what is difficult or negative to something that brings an opportunity. Aligning trust as a guiding force – ‘even not right moves are right moves.’ Trust enables him to tap into his innate guiding force and find his path. - Love is the strongest medicine; how love gives him strength being ‘Held by the hands of the people that love you.’- We discuss the power of food, it is generative as a way of loving family, friends and neighbours. As well, of course as curative physically. Find more information on Dr Rupy:Website: https://thedoctorskitchen.com/Instagram: @doctors_kitchenPodcast: https://thedoctorskitchen.com/podcasts/App: https://thedoctorskitchen.com/app/Find Julia:Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe--Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As a parent watching your child suffer is unbearable. For Clare her beautiful son Harrison aged 16 admitted to feeling suicidal. Clare’s conversation with me, which is deeply personal and painful, represents the mental health pandemic in young people, which is wrecking lives – individually, in families and in society as a whole.In this episode you will hear: The first time Clare heard that Harrison was contemplating taking his own life, how devastating it was, and also what a relief that he did tell her.  How Clare was split in two – between being his loving caring mother and a human being trying to find a solution to his problem. How, as a parent, we all, and Clare in this case, looks back and wonders what did I miss? What did I do wrong? Did I build him the wrong way? The pervasive sense of guilt as a parent when we can’t fix our child’s problem. The intensity of the struggle Clare and her husband had in trying to find him the support her child needs – incompetence, lack of care, lack of resources, constantly hitting brick walls. To the extent that Harrison still has no consistent support now. You will hear one of the distressing episodes of Harrison’s breakdown and how traumatising it is for the whole family.  Clare’s inspiring determination to keep Harrison alive, and fight for his support. Her description of the catalogue of failings In a Mental Health system which is broken and fractured.  How, as a family they live with the burden of this terror, that Harrison might one day succeed.  We want this episode to help you have conversations in your family to ensure that your loved ones can be honest with you about their Mental Health, as prevention is the best cure. Also it’s important we recognise the scale of the problem in Children and Adolescent Mental health Services so we can campaign to improve them. Important support links: Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L.) - https://www.callhelpline.org.uk/ Maytree Suicide Respite Centre - https://www.maytree.org.uk/ James' Place - https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/get-support/ Shout - https://giveusashout.org/ Calm Halm - https://calmharm.co.uk Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org Child Mind - https://childmind.org/ Charlie Waller Foundation - https://charliewaller.org/ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As most of you will know Ruby Wax is a comedian, actor and author as well as a mental health campaigner. Our conversation was particularly powerful because we got under the hood of the performer Ruby, and gained insight into who she really is, and how she got to be who she is. In listening to her honesty you will connect with yourself and recognise some of the influences that led you, the listener, to be you. We discussed complex issues like: What led Ruby to be ‘not as well as [she] thought [she] was’ and her breakdown after 12 years of being stable. Why her experience of depression was like a ‘holocaust inside’.  How we navigate together the difficult line of describing her experience without triggering her to drop back into it. The power of comedy as a defence and as a way to bear the unbearable We discuss the roots of Ruby’s depression and how it stemmed from the abuse and terror of her childhood and how that terror lives on and plays out in our daily life, even if managed.  For Ruby being at home is a place of threat and how she feels ’trapped’ when locked inside her house for too long. You need to listen to this episode if you want to understand depression, yourself and what can help you. Buy Ruby's new book: https://amzn.eu/d/aaTlK7bFind support at the Frazzled Cafe: https://www.frazzledcafe.org/---Please buy a ticket to my Masterclass, 'Change your family dynamics with Julia Samuel at The School of Life' on 16th and 22nd May: https://www.theschooloflife.com/amsterdam/julia-samuel-change-your-family-dynamics/?utm_source=colla&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=juliapodcastDiscount code: TheSchool_JuliaFind Julia:Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeGrief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513--Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to Season 3 of Therapy Works! To mark the publication of the paperback of my book Every Family Has a Story, we decided to do a role reversal and I invited the fantastic comedian and podcaster Cariad Loyd to put me in the therapy chair.Can I just say being interviewed is not my happy place! Although I did love this conversation, as I ended up being very open, I laughed, cried and said things I have never said publicly before. The topics we covered: We discussed my mother being an alcoholic and how that led to me becoming a psychotherapist.  The complexity of our relationships, that people often want to label them as good or bad, and how relationships are full of contradictions: love, hate, fury, gratitude, compassion  How I changed through my training as a therapist, and the moment I allowed myself to surrender to the profound love I felt for my children.  How I wanted to 'love my children into being' as opposed to love being like work at times. My ambivalent relationship with attention – wanting it and feeling ashamed for wanting it.  Emily and Sophie touch on the importance of stories in families and how helpful it has been hearing me share these experiences.  If you want to know me better, and hear how I see myself, my children and my attitude towards my work then you will hear it all in this episode. This is terrifying for me to release. Just saying… but I hope you all enjoy!Please buy the paperback of Every Family Has A Story: https://amzn.eu/d/56BpppdFind Julia:Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeGrief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513--Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For those of you who don’t know Zoe Blaskey, she is the founder of Motherland, the host of the brilliant podcast of the same name and a transformational coach. For those that do know her I think you will be delighted by this open and honest conversation, from which I learned so much. Zoe is a mother of two and openly speaks about learning to lean into what she was struggling with, which was every aspect of motherhood.This conversation is full of nuggets of wisdom and simply a joy to listen to – in it we discuss: How to deal with big emotions - we might be brought up to believe we are ‘too much’ and block our emotions through many negative behaviours, but over time we can train ourselves to respond differently, by allowing them and even validating them.  How change takes a huge amount of learning – whether it’s books, workshops, therapy and podcasts. Whilst the process can take longer than we want or choose.  The emotional load of motherhood and what can protect us from burn out.  The division of labour between two parents – how old systems can get played out unconsciously and now there is a NEW way – through the book Fair Play (see below for link).  The power and gift of handwritten letters that we send or even write but don’t send.   When we look at transgenerational patterns it opens up our understanding and compassion for our parents and grandparents. It has the ability to change our outlook and increases our level of appreciation towards them. This is an episode that I think you can go back and revisit time and time again, you will see yourself in it, your children, your parents, siblings and partner. It will provide you with a new way of seeing yourself and others which might be empowering or a relief.Find Zoe: Website: https://www.motherkind.co/Motherkind Podcast: https://www.motherkind.co/podcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/zoeblaskey/Link to the book, Fair Play: https://amzn.eu/d/cm9SuESThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self.Produced by Georgie RutherfordHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Abi Morgan is the brilliant screen writer of huge films like The Iron Lady, Shame and the hugely successful TV series, The Split. She is also the author of the memoir ‘This Isn’t A Pity Memoir’ charting the devastating story of her husband’s illness in which she was ‘absolutely the same and profoundly changed.’As someone who uses words as a profession, we discover in this podcast that Abi uses words to help her think, to make sense and connect, and to enable us to enter her internal world. Abi does this with speed and eloquence, so hold onto your coat tails and listen along with us as we dive deep into her whirlwind of a story. In this episode we discuss: How trauma is truly devastating and yet how minutiae or humour can feel life-saving. That while we are in the crisis, which is relentless and frightening, we can’t truly feel or face it, often we deal with it in retrospect. How through her work Abi may have unconsciously been answering the puzzle of herself – maybe we all do this at some level? Why love is a live thing – it is communication and action, it is messy and annoying,  and it can even be dead and then the profound revelatory truth, it can return. As Abi puts it, ‘Love is the flower in winter that says nothing.’ The paradox of using artifice to find truth. This is an episode that will marinate in your minds – it’s a true gem of an episode and incredibly powerful too.Find Abi:Instagram: @abimorgan9Book: https://amzn.eu/d/2N6JlVjFind Julia:Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeGrief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513--Produced by Georgie RutherfordHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I am joined by Jonny Wilkinson, widely known as the best British Rugby player of all time, who represented England and British and Irish Lions, and is famous for scoring the winning drop goal in 2003 at the Rugby World Cup Final. We all need to hear this conversation as it challenges many of our fixed beliefs about winning and losing, control, success and freedom. Jonny broke through the chains of limiting beliefs and is someone who shows us that in order to do so we have to want to change and put in the work. In this episode you will gain insights into: How wanting control can trap us – and surprisingly, it’s when you give up control that you are then empowered. Insights into winning and success, is thrilling in the moment and yet long term it can feel empty or it can be the thing that robs you of feeling like you are enough when you constantly chase it.  Life is a process of moving towards our true selves, we never arrive at a fixed destination.  The concept of plenty rather than insufficiency is a way of being in the world that is much less stressful. How powerful it is to look inwards and why we should all be asking ourselves questions like ‘who am I really?’.  Becoming more aware that on a daily basis we are given messages that we are under threat and have to fight to survive.  This conversation with Jonny truly gives us life enhancing insights of how to both protect ourselves and yet remain true to ourselves in a place of compassion and calm.Find Jonny: Instagram: @jonnywilkinsonofficialWebsite: @jonnywilkinsonPodcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/i-am-with-jonny-wilkinson/id1610549437Find Julia:Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeGrief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off. ---Produced by Georgie RutherfordHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This beautiful, moving and revelatory conversation is about loss and also of course, about love. Dr Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist as well as the host of the extraordinary podcast A Slight Change of Plans which was Apple’s Best Show of 2022. In this episode we discuss: How to navigate a life full of unexpected challenges, particularly around fertility. We discuss surrogacy, a subject that is new and still relatively unknown to most and particularly the physical challenges of gestational surrogacy.  How surrogacy involves creating a personal and intimate relationship with a stranger and trusting them with the responsibility of carrying their most precious being - their baby.  How we can make our family from the people we choose to love.  How Maya is thrown into the rollercoaster of hope and despair when it comes to fertility – as she says ‘everything in fertility humbles you.’ Maya discusses the meaning of the loss of an early miscarriage, how utterly devastating it is, and how the small acts of kindness from others gave her forbearance to somehow weather the pain of it.  How important it is to recognise in a world of fixing and toxic positivity that you can’t escape the pain of loss.  This episode is an incredible example of how listening to live, real connected conversations between two people who barely know each other and yet feel a deep connection is how we learn about ourselves and others.  This is an inspirational episode — not to be missed. Find Maya: Instagram: @drmayashankarPodcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622Support links: Miscarriage association: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/Sands (stillbirth and neonatal death): https://www.sands.org.uk/Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeGrief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off. ---Produced by Georgie RutherfordHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices