Therapy Works

Hello Therapy Works listeners! I hope you all enjoyed Season 3 of the podcast and if you happen to be tuning in for the first time I do recommend that you go back and listen to the amazing conversations I’ve had with my wonderful guests. Whilst we are in between seasons and taking a little summer break, I wanted to answer some questions about therapy that I get asked on a daily basis. As you all seem to be loving the segment with my psychotherapist daughters, I’ve asked Emily and Sophie to help me answer a question today and that is - what are the biggest myths about therapy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello Therapy Works listeners! I hope you all enjoyed Season 3 of the podcast and if you happen to be tuning in for the first time I do recommend that you go back and listen to the amazing conversations I’ve had with my wonderful guests. Whilst we are in between seasons and taking a little summer break, I wanted to answer some questions about therapy that I get asked on a daily basis. As you all seem to be loving the segment with my psychotherapist daughters, I’ve asked Emily and Sophie to help me answer a question today and that is - when do you know it's time to see a therapist?This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello Therapy Works listeners! I hope you all enjoyed Season 3 of the podcast and if you happen to be tuning in for the first time I do recommend that you go back and listen to the amazing conversations I’ve had with my wonderful guests. Whilst we are in between seasons and taking a little summer break, I wanted to answer some questions about therapy that I get asked on a daily basis. As you all seem to be loving the segment with my psychotherapist daughters, I’ve asked Emily and Sophie to help me answer a question today and that is - how do you find the right therapist? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Vanessa describes with great honesty her experience of living with an alcoholic husband. The difficult decision to end her marriage and the resulting challenges she faced. Her loneliness, along with the necessary reframing of her future.45% of marriages end in divorce which can lead us to treat it as ‘part of life.’ In this conversation we hear how very personal that experience is, and what a loss.In this episode we discuss:  What led to the end of her 8 year relationship and how painful and hard it was to acknowledge that it was the end. Vanessa describes her loss for the future she imagined, and the fear this new unknown engendered in her. It was the first time she felt she had failed, and how difficult that was. As Vanessa experienced her loss it took her to the point of not wanting to wake up in the morning. Given how labile and emotional the separation was, the actual divorce was mechanical and discombobulating. How over time she managed to create a new version of herself. Vanessa couldn’t control what she felt, but she found that she had agency in building her resilience. Vanessa was helped by her toolkit of resources: exercise, friends, parents and setting goals like the marathon. Through this she did find growth and discovered she could survive difficult challenges. Links mentioned in episode: Sophie mentions the Therapist Uncensored Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306   Julia mentions a paper by Jeffrey Arnett on Emerging Adulthood: http://www.jeffreyarnett.com/ARNETT_Emerging_Adulthood_theory.pdf Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

David Harewood is a celebrated British actor, presenter and author.I was very moved by this honest and courageous conversation. I both learnt and felt enriched by it – as you will. It is a must listen. We discussed many important issues: David recalls the years of racist abuse that pulled him apart.  How important it is to have an integrated sense of identity and the struggle he experienced being black on the outside but white on the inside.  The importance of holding clashing identities in the container of one’s being.  How having a psychotic episode can be traumatic to remember, or shameful, so we try to forget it but it haunts us. We also touch on the power of revisiting the experience, which can bring growth and a sense of agency.  How influential our social environment, trans-generational trauma and stress is on mental health. How the history of racism in the UK and USA is different, and we don’t talk about our links to slavery in the UK. How in daring to face the past, it is possible to reset one’s sense of identity and build a strong foundation from which to go forward.   Books mentioned in episode: Maybe I Don't Belong Here by David HarewoodThis Is Not America: Why Black Lives in Britain Matter by Tomiwa Owolade Watching The English by Kate FoxDavid's Documentary on Psychosis: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00052mnSupport links:Mind: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/psychosis/useful-contacts/Rethink Mental Illness: https://www.rethink.org/help-in-your-area/support-groupsTurning Point: https://www.turning-point.co.uk/services/mental-health/friends-and-family-mental-health.html  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are some episodes of this podcast that are more heart-breaking than others. This is one of them. Lisa Smart describes in loving detail the terminal diagnosis, illness, and the death of her beloved 22 year old daughter, Emily. Lisa also shows us how she has learned to live and love again despite the tragedy of her daughter’s death.In this episode we discuss: How living with someone who is dying focuses the mind, and helps you recognise the preciousness of time. Things that don’t matter fall away. Despite her daughter’s inability to move, she guided the whole family through the last 6 months of her life – you will learn what a difference this capacity to plan, prepare and act (e.g. planning her funeral, writing letters) makes to the living after her death. We discuss the fear around death and how the antidote to that fear is love. Emily loved them all into their future without her. We discuss how different family members navigated their grief in different ways. We explore how we are all changed by grief.  We talk about how our relationship with the person we love who has died changes but continues after the death. How connecting with the person after their death, feeling close to them can help with the loss Support links:My Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sadie Frost is an English actress, producer and fashion designer, who ran fashion label Frost French and a film production company. She is also the mother of four adult children.  Whilst Sadie’s roles may seem distant from our own experience, everything she discusses with me, in this open and honest conversation, is very relatable. You will see yourself in her challenges and learn how she has managed them. We discuss:  The shock of our children becoming adults and how to manage this transition.  The challenge of living alone and how to keep oneself balanced in order to connect effectively with friends and family.  How to manage one’s childhood self that can sometimes override one’s adult self. Particularly given the trauma of her past.  How she has learnt what really matters in life How one's relationship with time changes - over time!  How the joy of small things gives us peace. Emily's recommended exercises you can do as a parent of an adolescent/young adult: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O0XK3vegh2A45zV196NAUjEs2nfJDQZ2/view?usp=sharingSupport links:Seek counselling: https://www.bacp.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amber Jeffrey is a celebrated podcast host and online community facilitator. Her work & podcast, The Grief Gang,specialises in grief, breaking down the stigma of it, one conversation at a time.One of the great innovative changes that has swept through the grief community in recent years-- through access to social media--is the voice of bereaved young people. This younger generation tends to be more honest about their experience. In doing so improve our understanding of what it is like to be ‘a griefster’ leading to better support.In this energetic and at times funny conversation between Amber and I, you will hear the warmth of our friendship, that has created deep trust and allows Amber to explore aspects of her grief that she has never explored publicly before.In this episode, we talk about: When and how someone dies has a huge impact on the impact of their death. How anger is a natural but often unvoiced aspect of grief – it can cause havoc - and yet shutting it down can also cause harm. How the pain of loss for the person who has died, which links to the intensity of the love – can block adapting to the loss. Explore the existential question of whether we can turn pain to purpose, or sometimes just let tragedy be a tragedy. How the relationship with the surviving parent can be impacted – when they ‘move on.’ The unvoiced and taboo thought many have ‘did the wrong parent die?” How pre-existing fault lines in family systems can be ignited, in Amber’s case, racism. How grief can change one’s perception of what matters and give freedom to enjoy the sheer preciousness of life. Support links:CRUSE: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ CHILD BEREAVEMENT UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/ GOOD GRIEF TRUST: https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Will Young is a singer, actor and author of multiple hit singles and albums of the last 20 years. If you are like Emily, Sophie and I you will remember Will Young from his nascent pop self in Pop Idol, the first of the talent shows that we all became hooked on. You will be grateful, as I was, at Will Young’s capacity to have this conversation about profoundly important and complex issues with me, a total stranger. The quality and depth of our conversation was defined by his willingness to be spontaneous. Being open. Daring to explore aspects of himself, his life and his talent that was not curated, but therapeutic. When you listen to this episode you will hear us explore: His childhood trauma at boarding school and it’s lasting legacy on his mental health His experience of depersonalization/derealization disorder and Emily’s explanation of these disorders The different ways he regulates his nervous system and how he ‘gets back online.’ How he built his resilience, one aspect being singing for 30 minutes a day.  Will’s relationship with his voice and how it is ‘his best companion.’ We talked about the suicide of his twin brother Rupert. Bringing into awareness the narrative that ‘some people can’t get there’ in a culture that is always looking for fixes. Will’s creative energy being channelled in many different directions, particularly in the face of the toxicity of the music business. Our ambivalent relationship with attention.  When you take this episode out of your ears, your mind and body will be buzzing with new ideas, thoughts and responses to life. You will definitely be left feeling inspired. Support LinksChildhood trauma: https://lookthroughtheireyes.org/what-is-childhood-trauma/ Suicide prevention: https://www.papyrus-uk.org/ Sibling bereavement support: https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/bereavement-support/supporting-brothers-and-sisters/ More information on depersonalisation and derealisation: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/blog/tips-for-coping-with-depersonalisation-and-derealisation/ Find Will: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willyoungofficial/?hl=enWill's Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2zi1QKto2CGMfqiJfANljz?si=6274f223450e4e5b Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My conversation with Meg is one that touches on universal themes about love and life. Who is my life partner going to be? How and when can I have a baby? What can I do and how can I create the life I want when the odds seem against me?In this episode, you will hear topics that put you in mind of your own life, and Meg’s decisions will give you insights into how she made the life she wanted. We discuss: How to navigate the imperfect messiness of huge life decisions.  How the death of someone we love can create moments of absolute clarity and change everything.  The difficulty in managing the not knowing of fertility treatment and the rollercoaster of failed IVF attempts. The agony and grief of early baby loss.  The luck of being born into a loving family and having a steadfast loving parent. The resilience of having that team support helps in times of intense loss and uncertainty.  In all of it, being a gay couple was the least significant aspect of her life and not a challenge that needed to be faced.  Despite the terrible odds, faith and hope enabled huge challenges to be overcome.  Support links:National Childbirth Trust: https://www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/same-sex-parents/two-mum-families-sharing-experiences-and-supportNHS: https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/having-a-baby-if-you-are-lgbt-plus/ways-to-become-a-parent-if-you-are-lgbt-plus/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices