Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex

What if your relationship with God didn't start with how broken you are—but with how beloved you are? This week, Juli is joined by Marty Solomon, host of the BEMA Podcast, to explore the difference between our Western desire to have all the answers and the Bible's invitation to mystery, curiosity, and wonder. They talk about how systematic theology can both help and hinder our faith, and why being "beloved" is more foundational than being "right." This conversation reframes how we see our humanity in light of God's steadfast love—not as a problem to fix, but as a relationship to steward. Guest: Marty Solomon Preorder Marty's new book, The Gospel of Being Human: How Asking Better Questions of the Bible Reveals Who We Are Listen to The BEMA Podcast (we recommend starting with Season 1) Follow Marty Solomon at @marty_solomon Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

If you're trying to heal after betrayal, you may be doing everything you were taught to do—and still feel stuck. Sometimes we unintentionally sabotage our own healing—all in the name of love and forgiveness. Instead of feeling better, you end up feeling silenced, unsafe, and confused about why healing hasn't happened. Author and counselor Tammy Gustafson joins Juli to share four necessary phases of healing, and three common mistakes that actually shut it down. With clinical insight and biblical wisdom, this conversation will help you move forward with strength and hope. Guest: Tammy Gustafson, LPC Follow-up Resources: Preorder Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal (comes out Jan. 27) Register for The Betrayal Healing Conference, January 26-30. (It's online and free.) Take the Betrayal Healing Quiz to find what phase of the journey you're in. Q&A: Does My Spouse Watch Porn Because of Me? Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal? Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage by Drs. Chuck and Mike Misja (for the betrayed spouse who stays in a marriage even though their spouse is not doing the work needed to heal) Follow Tammy at @tammylgustafson Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Hannah Nitz, a contributor and co-host passionate about sexuality and Christian discipleship, dives into the often-taboo subject of masturbation. The discussion reveals that it's not just about right or wrong but requires nuance and spiritual maturity. They explore biblical references, separating masturbation from lust and pornography while addressing its role in both single and married lives. The conversation sheds light on how to disciple young people in managing sexual desires, suggesting healthier alternatives for emotional comfort and discussing when masturbation can positively affect marriage.

Dr. Gary Chapman, a renowned pastor and author of The Five Love Languages, joins the conversation to delve deeper into how understanding love languages can still leave us feeling disconnected. He shares a personal story highlighting the miscommunication that arises when partners need different types of love. Chapman emphasizes the importance of learning and adapting to one another's languages, discusses the metaphor of the 'love tank,' and underscores the need for deep listening in relationships. He also reflects on sustaining curiosity in long-term marriage.

As we wrap up 2025, this is the conversation God put on Juli's heart. Juli and Hannah sit down to talk about how we love each other when we disagree. This conversation invites you to rethink how you engage in tough conversations and what it really means to contend for truth with love. Give to Authentic Intimacy today! Between now and January 31st, your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar—up to $70,000. Follow-up Resources: Until Unity by Francis Chan Q&A: How do you love people you disagree with? How We Love Each Other by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Grab your Java for one of our most popular episodes of 2025! This conversation with Dr. Dan Allender helped us understand why the stuff we haven't dealt with from childhood eventually shows up—right in the middle of our relationships. Listen in to find out why you must be willing to explore your own story in order to create safety and repair what's broken. Guest: Dr. Dan Allender Give to Authentic Intimacy today and your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar, up to $70,000! Follow-up Resources: The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dr. Dan Allender Follow Dr. Dan at @danballender Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

How do you raise kids who feel grounded in their God-given identity in a world of confusing messages about gender? Dr. Kathy Koch and Dr. Jeff Myers join Juli to unpack how to guide youg people with truth, curiosity, and presence. You'll hear how to lay the foundations of identity, respond to cultural pressures, and raise confident boys and girls. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or mentor, this conversation offers you practical tools and biblical insight for today's tough questions. Guests: Dr. Kathy Koch and Dr. Jeff Myers Give to Authentic Intimacy today and your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar, up to $70,000! Follow-up resoures: Get your free book at genderconfidentkids.com Follow Summit Minstrieds at @Summitmn Follow Dr. Kathy Koch at @celebratekidsinc Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Women everywhere are turning to spicy romance novels to escape stress, overwhelm, and the monotony of everyday life. Today, Juli talks about why these trending titles feel so intoxicating, how they subtly shape our expectations of intimacy, and why they often leave us feeling disconnected from real relationships. Instead of escaping into fictional worlds, hear how you can rediscover the adventure and connection God designed for real life. Co-host: Hannah Nitz Give to Authentic Intimacy today! Between now and January 1st, your gift to Authentic Intimacy will be matched dollar for dollar up to $70,000. Follow-up Resources: What Do I Do With My Sexual Desire? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog) Masturbation: Is It Wrong? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog) Confessions of a Former Erotica Author by Francine Rivers (blog) Java with Juli #579: Good Girls, Bad Books: Erotica in Young Adult Fiction? Follow Hannah Nitz at @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy Resources quoted in this episode: The Rise of Smut: How TikTok is reviving romance literature. Thanks to BookTok, Barnes & Noble is opening more stores than ever. More than Mommy Porn: Why I read smut

We're diving into the often overlooked side of sexual intimacy: emotional connection in marriage. Juli and guest Gary Thomas unpack three building blocks of emotional intimacy—emotional availability, sensitive responsiveness, and trust. From understanding male and female brain chemistry to tips on daily connection habits, this conversation gives you tangible ways to create a stronger, healthier marriage. Guest: Gary Thomas Give to Authentic Intimacy today—every gift matched dollar for dollar up to $70,000! Follow-up Resources Safe Haven Marriage by Arch Hart and Sharon May A Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas Follow Gary Thomas at @garythomasbooks Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Dr. Debra Taylor, a clinical sex therapist with extensive experience in women's sexuality, joins to illuminate contemporary insights into female desire. They discuss how exhaustion is often the biggest barrier to intimacy and reveal that over 20% of women are high-drive. Debra challenges cultural narratives that prioritize men's needs over women's, advocating for mutual sexual responsibility in marriage. Practical exercises are shared, like positive visualizations, to help regain sexual desire and improve connection, especially after trauma.