Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex

Dr. Gary Chapman, a renowned pastor and author of The Five Love Languages, joins the conversation to delve deeper into how understanding love languages can still leave us feeling disconnected. He shares a personal story highlighting the miscommunication that arises when partners need different types of love. Chapman emphasizes the importance of learning and adapting to one another's languages, discusses the metaphor of the 'love tank,' and underscores the need for deep listening in relationships. He also reflects on sustaining curiosity in long-term marriage.

As we wrap up 2025, this is the conversation God put on Juli's heart. Juli and Hannah sit down to talk about how we love each other when we disagree. This conversation invites you to rethink how you engage in tough conversations and what it really means to contend for truth with love. Give to Authentic Intimacy today! Between now and January 31st, your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar—up to $70,000. Follow-up Resources: Until Unity by Francis Chan Q&A: How do you love people you disagree with? How We Love Each Other by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Grab your Java for one of our most popular episodes of 2025! This conversation with Dr. Dan Allender helped us understand why the stuff we haven't dealt with from childhood eventually shows up—right in the middle of our relationships. Listen in to find out why you must be willing to explore your own story in order to create safety and repair what's broken. Guest: Dr. Dan Allender Give to Authentic Intimacy today and your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar, up to $70,000! Follow-up Resources: The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dr. Dan Allender Follow Dr. Dan at @danballender Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

How do you raise kids who feel grounded in their God-given identity in a world of confusing messages about gender? Dr. Kathy Koch and Dr. Jeff Myers join Juli to unpack how to guide youg people with truth, curiosity, and presence. You'll hear how to lay the foundations of identity, respond to cultural pressures, and raise confident boys and girls. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or mentor, this conversation offers you practical tools and biblical insight for today's tough questions. Guests: Dr. Kathy Koch and Dr. Jeff Myers Give to Authentic Intimacy today and your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar, up to $70,000! Follow-up resoures: Get your free book at genderconfidentkids.com Follow Summit Minstrieds at @Summitmn Follow Dr. Kathy Koch at @celebratekidsinc Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Women everywhere are turning to spicy romance novels to escape stress, overwhelm, and the monotony of everyday life. Today, Juli talks about why these trending titles feel so intoxicating, how they subtly shape our expectations of intimacy, and why they often leave us feeling disconnected from real relationships. Instead of escaping into fictional worlds, hear how you can rediscover the adventure and connection God designed for real life. Co-host: Hannah Nitz Give to Authentic Intimacy today! Between now and January 1st, your gift to Authentic Intimacy will be matched dollar for dollar up to $70,000. Follow-up Resources: What Do I Do With My Sexual Desire? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog) Masturbation: Is It Wrong? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog) Confessions of a Former Erotica Author by Francine Rivers (blog) Java with Juli #579: Good Girls, Bad Books: Erotica in Young Adult Fiction? Follow Hannah Nitz at @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy Resources quoted in this episode: The Rise of Smut: How TikTok is reviving romance literature. Thanks to BookTok, Barnes & Noble is opening more stores than ever. More than Mommy Porn: Why I read smut

We're diving into the often overlooked side of sexual intimacy: emotional connection in marriage. Juli and guest Gary Thomas unpack three building blocks of emotional intimacy—emotional availability, sensitive responsiveness, and trust. From understanding male and female brain chemistry to tips on daily connection habits, this conversation gives you tangible ways to create a stronger, healthier marriage. Guest: Gary Thomas Give to Authentic Intimacy today—every gift matched dollar for dollar up to $70,000! Follow-up Resources Safe Haven Marriage by Arch Hart and Sharon May A Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas Follow Gary Thomas at @garythomasbooks Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Dr. Debra Taylor, a clinical sex therapist with extensive experience in women's sexuality, joins to illuminate contemporary insights into female desire. They discuss how exhaustion is often the biggest barrier to intimacy and reveal that over 20% of women are high-drive. Debra challenges cultural narratives that prioritize men's needs over women's, advocating for mutual sexual responsibility in marriage. Practical exercises are shared, like positive visualizations, to help regain sexual desire and improve connection, especially after trauma.

The holidays should bring peace. Instead, they often bring tension, unresolved hurt, and that one person who knows how to get under your skin. Today, Juli sits down with author and radio host Brant Hansen to talk about what it means to be "unoffendable"—especially when you're passing the mashed potatoes to someone you struggle to forgive. Guest: Brant Hansen Follow-up Resources: Unoffendable by Brant Hansen How to Have Tough Conversations by Juli Slattery (blog) When Your Adult Child Makes Choices You Disagree With by Juli Slattery (blog) Follow Brant Hansen at @branthansen Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Lips that drip liquid myrrh, cheeks like beds of spices . . . what on earth is happening here? This week, we're making sense of the metaphors in Song of Songs. Find out how this bizarre (to us) love poetry shows us that God is wholeheartedly, enthusiastically, and unequivocally in favor of out-of-this-world sexual pleasure in marriage. Guest: Dr. Sandra Glahn If you enjoyed this conversation, leave us a rating and review in your podcast app. Follow-up Resources: What If I Hate Sex? by Juli Slattery (blog) How to Go from Demand and "Duty Sex" to True Sexual Intimacy by Juli Slattery (blog) Pre-order the Lifeway CSB Women's Study Bible (with contributions by Dr. Glahn) Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love are You Making? with Juli Slattery & Linda Dillow (a 12-week study through the Song of Songs) Follow Dr. Glahn @sandraglahnauthor Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

If you've ever felt unseen, disconnected, or tired of pretending you're okay, this episode is for you. This week, author and speaker Toni Collier shares how healing begins when we stop hiding and start letting others in. Through her own story of heartbreak and redemption, you'll hear encouragement and practical wisdom on finding safe people, breaking toxic patterns, and walking with God and others toward healing. Guest: Toni Collier Follow-up Resources: Don't Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain by Toni Collier God's Healing Stinks by Juli Slattery (blog) Why Is Healing So Hard by Juli Slattery (blog) Q&A: How do I get past my sexual shame? (video) Follow Toni Collier @tonijcollier Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy