Church Disrupted

What happens when you invite a vocal critic onto onto the podcast?! Well, we’re about to find out! In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, we invited a vocal social media critic to join the conversation and discuss how to build healthy churches. And not only is this guest a critic, he's a pastor! Yet, once we invited him to join the podcast, things took a really positive turn. When I checked this pastor and his church out online, what I found was a surprisingly healthy looking church! They are doing a lot of things right, and they seem to be the kind of church we wish there was more of. So, by the time we got to the actual podcast conversation, I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect. But I was pleasantly surprised! In this episode, we are joined by Pastor and leader TJ Mauldin. We discuss everything from our disagreements online and the need to address spiritual abuse in the church, to creating healthy church environments and radical financial transparency. This was an honest, transparent, and extremely helpful conversation. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did! THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction 08:46 The Tension Between Critiquing the Church and Loving the Church 36:07 Low Control, High Accountability 47:26 Building People Up and Adding Value 56:36 Controversy and Conversation: Teleprompters and Sermon Scripts 01:14:29 Growing People for the Kingdom 01:26:37 Approaching Nepotism and Hiring Staff 01:37:18 Congregational Leadership 01:49:15 Addressing the Cycle of Abuse 01:58:30 Cultivating Intentional Relational Environments

In this episode of the Church Disrupted podcast, Jeff Cochran and Author Laura McKnight Barringer discuss spiritual abuse and toxic church cultures. She shares the moment that woke her up to the reality of spiritual abuse. They also explore the concept of 'tov' (goodness) in the church, the features of narcissistic pastors, and the characteristics of toxic Christian workplaces. They address the reasons people stay silent in the face of abuse, the response of churches to accusations against pastors, and the danger of internal investigations. All of these issues and more should massively concern us, but could the answer to them be as simple as creating TOV cultures? Join us for this conversation to find out the answer. Connect with Laura here: https://www.laurabarringer.net/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction 07:10 Recognizing Spiritual Abuse 13:18 Understanding Tov and a Culture of Tov 16:25 Features of Narcissistic Pastors 24:45 Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Culture 28:15 Reasons for Silence and Fear of Speaking Out 34:45 Responses to Accusations Against Pastors 39:37 Internal Investigations and Lack of Independence 40:23 The Need for External Investigation 41:30 The Role of Retainers in Perpetuating Abuse 43:29 The Unawareness of Spiritual Abusers 44:59 The Result of Abuse Regardless of Intent 48:37 The Sanitization of Truth in Church Systems 49:04 Forming a Truth-Telling Culture 53:57 The Attraction of Narcissistic Leaders to the Modern Church 58:56 The Lack of Accountability in Church Systems 01:02:48 Transforming Church Culture through Power 01:03:06 Creating Pockets of Tove 01:09:29 Advice for Senior Leaders in Creating a Tove Culture 01:14:34 Advice for General Church Staff in Creating Pockets of Tove 01:16:24 Advice for Parishioners in Creating a Healthy Church 01:18:10 Advice for Victims of Spiritual Abuse in Healing and Creating Safe Spaces

What does Narcissism look like when it puts on church clothes?! Narcissism and its effects are common in churches today, but the church is often the last place we would expect to find narcissistic people and behaviors. Unfortunately, many modern church systems actually attract narcissistic leaders. But what does narcissism look like when it's in a church? How can we recognize spiritual narcissists and narcissistic systems? And when you recognize it, what should you do? We are joined in this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast by Chelsey Brooke Cole, best-selling author of the book "If I'd Only Known" and narcissism expert. She and Jeff tackle these questions and more as they take a deep look at narcissism in churches and the devastating effects it can have on people. Connect with Chelsey and learn more about her work here! - https://www.instagram.com/chelseybrookecole/?hl=en - https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/ Get Chelsey's book here: https://rb.gy/4bhk89 Check Out the Recent USA TODAY article Chelsey Contributed to here: https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/03/21/spiritual-narcissism-narcissists-at-church-yoga-class/73047346007/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction and Background 01:24 Defining Narcissism and NPD 11:24 Narcissism in Spiritual Environments 16:28 Can Systems be Narcissistic? 25:36 Blame Shifting and Villainizing 28:49 Reframing the Problem 30:01 Narcissistic Systems in Church 32:20 Twisting Scripture 33:13 Exploiting Tithing 34:12 Disagreement in Narcissistic Systems 35:03 Understanding Healthy Relationships 37:11 Making Church Trauma-Informed 38:13 Accountability in Narcissistic Systems 39:12 Moving On Without Accountability 40:08 Making Church Safe for Victims 41:08 Supporting the Abuser vs. the Victim 43:10 Restoring Pastors and Accountability 45:07 Expecting Reality, Not Assuming the Worst 46:17 Narcissists' Manipulation Tactics 48:16 Restoration and Accountability 49:05 Manipulating the Perception of Change 50:15 Expecting Accountability, Not Assuming the Worst 53:17 Toxic People and Healthy Boundaries 59:23 Narcissists' Reaction to Boundaries 01:00:37 Importance of Boundaries and Self-Care 01:01:06 The Importance of Setting Boundaries 01:02:03 The Charismatic Nature of Narcissists 01:03:00 Gaslighting and the Desire for Control 01:04:20 The Manipulation of Loyalty 01:06:46 Protecting Yourself Against Narcissism 01:07:18 Overcoming Guilt and Shame 01:08:30 The Importance of Documentation 01:14:39 Feeling and Processing Pain 01:24:30 Untangling the Narcissist's Voice

Joyce Hindle, a former pastor's wife turned life coach, shares her harrowing journey through spiritual abuse at home and in ministry. She discusses recognizing the subtle signs of abuse, the profound impact it has on one's life, and the importance of community support. Joyce emphasizes the need for accountability in church leadership and highlights the need for transparent structures to protect victims. Through her insights, she encourages healing, empowerment, and the essential balance between personal trauma and spiritual calling.

In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, Jeff Cochran interviews Chris Ayoub and Nathan Apffel, the creators of the documentary 'The Religion Business.' They discuss the purpose of the documentary, which explores the business side of religion, particularly Christianity. The conversation delves into the financial numbers of nonprofits, including the staggering $890 billion that comes into the Christian Church annually. They also highlight the misalignment and growth of nonprofits, as well as the challenges of transparency and accountability. The episode concludes with a discussion on the 6% of funds that actually leave churches to make an impact in the world. This conversation discusses the lack of accountability and transparency in churches, the use of non-profits to avoid financial reporting, and the issue of ecclesiastical theft. Overall, it calls for a change in church systems to prioritize accountability and the true mission of the church. We also address the decline of denominations and the opportunity for the church to redirect its focus back to its purpose. Accountability, transparency, and individual action will be needed to bring about positive change! Learn more about The Religion Business here! - https://www.thereligionbusiness.com/ - https://www.instagram.com/religionbusiness/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, The Forgiveness Link!!! Schedule your free consultation with Rob here and let him know we sent you to get a special Church Disrupted rate! https://theforgivenesslink.com/churchdisruptedcommunity ANOTHER BIG THANK YOU to the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share!

We get A LOT of flack from Christians and church leaders for talking about spiritual abuse. People would often rather us talk about good things going on in the church. They want us to stick to the gospel. Why? Because talking about church hurt and spiritual abuse is uncomfortable! But if we don't have these important conversations in the Church, then the abuse, scandals, and cover-ups will continue. If we don't talk about these things, people will continue getting hurt. And if we stay silent about the spiritual abuse we see, then we become complicit in it. We don't talk about spiritual abuse and toxic church systems because we WANT to, we do it because we HAVE TO!!! In this special holy week episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, Jeff Cochran, Vicki May, and Abby Flemming discuss what's really at stake with these conversations. THANK YOU to our podcast partner, The Forgiveness Link!!! Schedule your free consultation with Rob here and let him know we sent you to get a special Church Disrupted rate! https://theforgivenesslink.com/churchdisruptedcommunity ANOTHER BIG THANK YOU to the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share!

It seems we hear of another millenial or Gen Z pastor leaving the mega church or leaving ministry in general every day. But WHY are they walking away? Often, it's because they have become disenfranchised and disillusioned after being in the system and seeing how the sausage gets made. Simply put, a lot of Christians are looking for something more, something better, something different than what the modern mega-church system offers. They know something is wrong, but they aren't sure what right looks like. And it leaves people loving Jesus, yet feeling a bit lost. In this episode of the Church Disrupted podcast, Dave Scribani joins Jeff Cochran to talk about why he left the mega church system, his struggle to re-engage with the church, and the beauty he has found on the other side. Full of hope and love for Jesus, Dave leaves listeners with new thoughts about what the Church could be if we anchored the future in a more ancient way of community and pursuing God. This conversation is a MUST See! THANK YOU to our podcast partner, The Forgiveness Link!!! Schedule your free consultation with Rob here and let him know we sent you to get a special Church Disrupted rate! https://theforgivenesslink.com/churchdisruptedcommunity ANOTHER BIG THANK YOU to the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share!

Discover the unsettling concept of narcissistic churches and how they mirror individual traits. Explore the unhealthy dynamics of pride within church leadership and the impact on community service. Learn about the emotional challenges faced by pastors and the importance of prioritizing people over systems. The discussion critiques metrics-driven leadership and advocates for genuine pastoral care. Finally, examine the complexities of church membership and the need for a more authentic, inclusive church environment.

Deconstruction is a buzzword these days and is a hot topic of conversation with everyone from evangelicals to exvangelicals. Some swear by it, others villainize it. In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, Caleb Nelson joins the conversation to talk about escaping a cult, deconstructing Christianity, the pain of his journey, and how to re-engage with faith. If you have been through church hurt, spiritual abuse, or religious trauma, then this episode will be helpful. If you are a pastor or church leader who wants to lead and care for people better, then there is something to learn from this episode. Whether you are questioning your faith, mourning your faith, or want to re-engage with the church, there is something for everyone in the candid conversation with Jeff Cochran and Caleb Nelson. Connect with Caleb here: - https://nakedsundaystudios.com/ - https://www.instagram.com/lebinreallife/ - Listen to the Naked Sunday Podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/4PocASK5RaqDRT2IMs53GB THANK YOU to our podcast partner, The Forgiveness Link!!! Schedule your free consultation with Rob here and let him know we sent you to get a special Church Disrupted rate! https://theforgivenesslink.com/churchdisruptedcommunity ANOTHER BIG THANK YOU to the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share!

The He Gets Us Ad that aired during the 2024 Super Bowl has caused an uproar and has a lot of people angry, especially Christians. But why?! What did the ad get right, and what did it get wrong? Should we be angry about it? If so, what parts should bother us? What should bother Christians even MORE than this commercial by the He Gets Us campaign? In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, Shawn and Corey join Jeff Cochran to break down this controversial super bowl ad and to answer these questions and more. Buckle up because this episode is a doozy! THANK YOU to our podcast partner, The Forgiveness Link!!! Schedule your free consultation with Rob here and let him know we sent you to get a special Church Disrupted rate! https://theforgivenesslink.com/churchdisruptedcommunity ANOTHER BIG THANK YOU to the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share!