Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Cognitive bypassing occurs when we overthink to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions like sadness, fear, or anger. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick share their personal experiences with cognitive bypassing, and explore how we can step out of our heads, get in touch with our emotions, and live a more fulfilling life. You'll learn why people can't just "feel their feelings," the function of cognitive bypassing, how we can use cognition to create space for our emotions, and practical tools for connecting with the non-cognitive aspects of our experience.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:00: What is cognitive bypassing?3:05: How cognitive bypassing comes up in therapy6:10: The function of cognitive bypassing11:10: Does insight lead to action?18:45: “Feel your feelings” vs. self-actualizing24:50: Leveraging your cognition to create space from your feelings30:00: Body sensations and self-compassion33:15: Relating to others38:55: Practical steps to being in touch with yourself42:20: Intensity, valence, and opening to empathy45:15: Rigidity and resistance50:00: The range of possibilities within your constraints56:35: RecapNEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off. Sponsors:Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ADHD is often misunderstood as a simple "lack of attention." But in this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by ADHD pioneer Dr. John Ratey to explore the true nature of this complex condition. They debunk common misconceptions, explore how ADHD works in the brain, and discuss its surprising strengths and vulnerabilities. You’ll learn how to thrive with ADHD by applying effective interventions, including social connection, mindfulness practice, medication, and exercise.About our Guest: Dr. John Ratey is associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of eleven books including Spark and the Driven to Distraction series with Dr. Ned Hallowell. Their newest book in the series is the fantastic ADHD 2.0Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:00: Some of the biggest misconceptions about ADHD3:35: The advantages of having ADHD5:55: De-pathologizing, skillful means, and the problem of “fit”9:25: The variety of presentations12:10: A trait, not a disorder13:55: The task-positive network, and the default mode network18:20: Three ways to turn off the default mode network22:20: The importance of social connection25:35: Feeling like an outsider, and being punished for having ADHD28:45: Deliberate internalization of beneficial experiences31:40: Why exercise and movement is particularly useful for ADHD34:45: Dance as an ideal form of exercise39:50: Jump rope, and right amount of exercise41:15: Nature and the afflictions of civilization44:25: Medication51:15: RecapRumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off!Sponsors:This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Forrest and Dr. Rick, two “reformed rigid people,” as they explore how to become more psychologically flexible. Just as physical flexibility is the amount of stretch in our muscles, the ability they have to bend without breaking, psychological flexibility is the same quality in our minds. It enables us to approach situations from new perspectives, be open to our emotions, let go of old versions of ourselves, and step into new ways of being.In this episode, they discuss the concept of rigidity as a form of psychological defense and explore the motivations behind it. They also delve into the trap of assumptions and limiting beliefs, the importance of releasing attachments, and the benefits of embracing new ways of thinking.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:35: Choice, and the tradeoff between flexibility and speed2:55: Rigidity, agency, and flexibility in relationship7:50: Behavioral vs. psychological choices10:30: The dock and the river, and self-protection15:40: Inflexibility as a means to an end17:30 Tools to inquire into your rigidities20:50: When others’ behavior isn’t about you23:20: Assumptions and limiting beliefs27:35: Willingness to change, and comfort in feeling change34:10: Releasing attachment to your ‘place’39:50: Understanding the function of your rigidity41:35: Over-identification with goals and accomplishments44:40: Stepping into the river45:20: RecapRumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off!Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Author Stephanie Foo joins Forrest to share her journey with Complex PTSD. They talk about what it was like to receive a diagnosis, the various techniques and modalities she used (and what really helped), the importance of social support, self-acceptance and self-compassion, difficulties with access and cultural competence in the mental healthcare system, intergenerational trauma, and motherhood. About Our Guest: Stephanie is a writer and radio producer whose work has been featured on This American Life, 99% Invisible, and Radiolab among other shows, and she’s the author of the truly wonderful book What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimer2:10: Stephanie’s experience in sharing her story6:00: Features of CPTSD7:50: What led Stephanie to seek help, and work as a coping mechanism10:15: “The Dread” and healing through relationship17:40: The effects of receiving diagnosis, and aspects of CPTSD that are helpful25:45: Practices that helped Stephanie and incorporating them practically33:45: Balancing showing up for other people and receiving care35:15: Self-love, gratitude, psychedelics, and relationships38:20: Two way repair and comfort receiving feedback42:55: The need for reform to our mental healthcare system and who it serves49:55: Societal trauma among first generation immigrants53:30: More natural and communal frameworks for healing54:30: Parenthood57:00: Resources available on Stephanie’s website58:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of what's occurring in the mind lies outside our awareness. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore the unconscious mind and the material we might find there. They talk about what the unconscious mind is, the purpose of the unconscious, repression, bias, and what we can do to access, use, and release that unconscious material. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:25: What is the unconscious mind?5:35: Why material gets moved to our unconscious mind8:45: Freud, Jung, and repression14:25: Looking at repression through a developmental model18:55: Bias, relational ‘scripts’, and what we can do about unconscious patterns21:45: Interpreting dreams, and the limits of science27:55: Examples of repressed material and how to uncover it30:05: Rick’s first love story34:20: Emotional release work you can do without a therapist38:00: Distress tolerance42:10: The body-based, non-cognitive nature of unconscious material44:10: Sentence completions, automatic writing, and sand trays47:00: Building self-worth, and creating a safe container54:50: Teaching what you need to learn, and the importance of support57:30: Including what’s left out1:00:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Sponsors:This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On the (roughly) 300th episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick share what they’ve learned from the many experts in psychology, personal growth, and mental health they’ve talked to on the show. They explore the importance of individual context, the gap between insight and action, self-honesty and acceptance as the catalyst for change, incremental change vs. sudden breakthroughs, and the role of distress tolerance.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction and two big themes2:25: Applying generalized information to your individual context7:50: The importance of insight and where it falls short9:20: White light moments and the importance of action13:25: Wants and needs25:40: Slow and steady effort29:35: Going to zero and the scaffolding that leads to sustained change36:15: Distress tolerance, valuing acceptance, and what you know to be true41:25: The three mechanisms of change44:25: Reducing inner friction through mental training, and cultivating trust47:50: How do you want to use your time?49:10: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira returns to the podcast and joins Forrest for a deep dive into somatic psychology. They explore what a somatic therapy session looks like in practice, how it differs from traditional talk therapy, the connection between the body and the mind, and why people with complex trauma are sometimes better served by body-based approaches. Elizabeth then talks about how somatic therapy has supported her own journey with CPTSD and PMDD, and shares some of the practices that have helped her clients.About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate therapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her practice is open, and if you’d like to reach out to Elizabeth you can do so through Instagram. Elizabeth also has her own podcast, My Therapist's a Witch.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:45: What happens in a somatic therapy session?5:00: Attunement and a quick demonstration9:55: Moving slowly and navigating dissociative patterns12:45: Cognitive bypassing and catharsis in letting go15:40: Trauma and integrating alienated parts of ourselves21:15: Elizabeth’s experience feeling anger25:30: When the thing that brings you into therapy isn’t the root of your problem29:00: Safety allowing comfort with feeling difficult feelings31:40: Interoception, physical embodiment, and more on attunement35:50: Clean and dirty pain, different parts, and appreciation40:25: Resistance, joining with the defense, and compassion44:50: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you listen to a podcast like ours, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “daddy issues.” A more accurate way to understand daddy issues is as a form of attachment wounding, which describes situations where our adult relationships are affected by complicated, difficult, or traumatic experiences we had as a child. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what daddy issues are, how they relate to attachment theory, sexism and the broader social and historical context, different forms of attachment wounding, and a simple way to understand your attachment style. They then walk through four common sets of symptoms and challenges related to attachment wounding, and what a person can do to move toward secure attachment.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:50: What are daddy issues?6:35: Parental roles and symptoms of attachment wounding 13:35: How attachment patterns are created19:35: Yearning for narcissistic supplies22:10: Gendered dynamics, and the pejorative use of the phrase “daddy issues”28:20: Claiming your power31:15: Forming a coherent narrative, and looking for what was missing34:50: A simple method for assessing your attachment style41:50: Social support44:10: Who you are to others, and meeting person to person50:55: Situation #1: How to deal with fears of abandonment and being alone55:00: Situation #2: “I need a lot of reassurance and external validation.”58:10: Situation #3: Fears related to emotional vulnerability1:05:15: Situation #4: “I keep dating the same (problematic) kind of person.”1:10:30: Making deliberate effort1:14:50: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eric Zimmer, a behavior coach and host of The One You Feed podcast, joins Forrest and Rick to explore what supports us in changing ingrained behavior. They talk about insight, acceptance, shame, responsibility, and the balance between determinism and agency. They discuss the three-part process of change: insight, acceptance, and action. They also discuss the power of support and the challenges of recovery, as well as the struggle for positive change and the importance of self-compassion.

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners related to how we can build better relationships (particularly with our families) and deal with difficult people. They explore the common traits of happy families, how to deal with people who weaponize psychological jargon, navigating different perceptions of “what happened,” and repairing a damaged relationship with a child. Forrest ends the conversation by talking about the importance of “going to zero” after a breach of trust.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:00: Question 1: Common characteristics of happy families8:25: Differentiation and integration10:55: Symptoms of a less healthy family system12:15: The role of love 19:55: Question 2: What to do when people use psychological jargon during a conflict26:00: Defending yourself effectively, and staying on topic30:50: Question 3: Navigating different perceptions of a difficult event35:45: Question 4: Healing a strained relationship with a child (or parent)39:45: Functional repair before emotional vulnerability46:45: “Going to zero” with behavior when repair is needed56:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors:This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices