Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Eric Zimmer, a behavior coach and host of The One You Feed podcast, joins Forrest and Rick to explore what supports us in changing ingrained behavior. They talk about insight, acceptance, shame, responsibility, and the balance between determinism and agency. They discuss the three-part process of change: insight, acceptance, and action. They also discuss the power of support and the challenges of recovery, as well as the struggle for positive change and the importance of self-compassion.

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners related to how we can build better relationships (particularly with our families) and deal with difficult people. They explore the common traits of happy families, how to deal with people who weaponize psychological jargon, navigating different perceptions of “what happened,” and repairing a damaged relationship with a child. Forrest ends the conversation by talking about the importance of “going to zero” after a breach of trust.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:00: Question 1: Common characteristics of happy families8:25: Differentiation and integration10:55: Symptoms of a less healthy family system12:15: The role of love 19:55: Question 2: What to do when people use psychological jargon during a conflict26:00: Defending yourself effectively, and staying on topic30:50: Question 3: Navigating different perceptions of a difficult event35:45: Question 4: Healing a strained relationship with a child (or parent)39:45: Functional repair before emotional vulnerability46:45: “Going to zero” with behavior when repair is needed56:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors:This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to deal with common forms of interpersonal conflict. They explore the four common disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling3:40: The importance of the way something is said8:10: Disentangling tone from content9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening35:45: Trust39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate?41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back43:40: Peoples’ capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself49:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The main topic we explore on the podcast, in many different ways, is change. How can we come to understand ourselves better, let go of who we were, and become who we wish to be? In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by meditation teacher and former Zen monastic Caverly Morgan. They discuss how we can release our conditioning, identify the inner voice that leads to change, and get to the heart of who we are.About Our Guest: Caverly is a meditation teacher, author, and the founder of Peace in Schools - a nonprofit which created the nation's first for-credit mindfulness class in public high schools. Her practice began in 1995, and has included eight years of training in a silent Zen monastery. She’s also the author of the wonderful new book The Heart of Who We Are: Realizing Freedom Together.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:55: Caverly’s path to Zen3:30: Truth and freedom7:20: Chop wood, carry water8:30: Why it’s okay to have a “conventional” path to enlightenment9:35: The voice that says “is this all there is?”12:25: Distinguishing our conditioning from what we really want15:40: What supports us in exercising our will21:20: Resistance, preference, and willingness23:25: Responding to “should”29:10: Our will and our ego35:30: Making room for our own nurturing voice37:35: Practical ways to listen to the heart40:40: Awakening together47:20: Coming home to our own being at the simplest level50:30: RecapNew Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before becoming the “Buddhist brain guy” Dr. Rick spent over 30 years working in private practice as a couples counselor and family therapist. Today we’re leaning on that experience, and learning what we can do to build healthier, happier, and more fulfilling relationships.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction and Rick’s upcoming book3:20: The importance of deliberate action in making a relationship 5:50: 6 practical steps from Rick’s new book10:05: The relationship we have with ourselves13:10: When others don’t want the same thing18:50: Rick’s recurring observations in relationship counseling25:00: Balancing intimacy and autonomy, and asserting what you want30:50: Staying on topic and establishing thorough agreements36:25: Sticking to our needs without alienating others37:45: Tolerating discomfort40:20: Getting to truth with others41:40: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman and Dr. Jordyn Feingold discuss choosing our best selves, balancing growth and discomfort, importance of social support, mindset, self-esteem vs narcissism, transcending dichotomies, practicing self-compassion, and daily positive medicine for collective growth.

This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills. On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction3:55: Why do you want to change?4:50: Four fundamental strategies7:00: Three common issues9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs24:15: Levity and affection for yourself27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing46:40: RecapNew Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.Sponsors:This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve come to the end of another year, and it’s a good time to take stock and consider how we’d like to grow and change during our next trip around the sun. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on what supports us and what holds us back from reinventing ourselves and becoming all we wish to be. They talk about how they’d like to change over the next year, different approaches to new year’s resolutions, do a little digging around in Forrest’s psyche, and highlight a few practical things we can do to support our growth. New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year’s sale is going on now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:55: Different frameworks around goals and intentions6:15: Forrest’s goal: more freedom, less constraint8:50: Integrating the mundane and the profound11:35: What supports us in changing? What constrains us?13:35: Mentors, and other sources of encouragement22:00: Reverting to old patterns when returning to old environments28:00: Self-acceptance makes change possible29:45: “Trim tabs” and other forms of psychological leverage35:30: Diligence, effort, and consistency37:50: Addressing deficits and reassuring yourself40:30: Relaxing around inevitability41:40: Embracing the joy of possibility and change46:35: RecapSponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We think of stress as “bad” for you, but what if some forms of stress could actually help us grow and change for the better? On today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Dr. Elissa Epel, a psychologist and leading stress researcher, to explore the science behind the stress response. They talk about the different forms of stress, what separates “good” stress from “bad” stress, how we can take advantage of good stress, and dealing with existential forms of stress like the climate crisis. About our Guest: Elissa Epel is a psychologist, bestselling author, and a Professor and Vice Chair in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco. Her research focuses on stress, well-being, and optimal aging. She’s also the best-selling co-author of The Telomere Effect, and her newest book is The Stress Prescription: Seven Days to More Joy and Ease.New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 40% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:10: Toxic stress vs. hormetic stress6:30: Challenge orientation vs. threat response11:35: Simple anchoring practices and their effects17:00: Autophagy19:00: Practical consequences of different forms of stress25:25: Distinguishing physiological from psychological stress31:00: Comfort with uncertainty and shared existential concerns40:20: The future of the planet and its inequities42:40: RecapSponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Criticism is an unavoidable part of life. But even though we’re all going to be criticized from time to time, many of us spend much of our lives living in fear of criticism. Then, on the flip side, we’re all critics ourselves. We’ve all been in situations that aren’t quite what we want them to be – so we need to either do something to change them or accept them as they are. On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on how we can get better at receiving and giving criticism, learn to accept what lies outside of our control, and avoid the “mood of complaint.”New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 50% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction and critiques of the podcast4:45: Where we place our attention8:00: Two kinds of complaint8:55: Self-righteousness and identifying with our complaints11:25: What do we hope to accomplish by complaining?13:15: Sharing experience vs. asserting information18:35: Developing relationships where your vulnerability is welcome24:45: Projecting your unclear desires on other people28:10: How to respond to negative feedback and manage your reactions32:00: Releasing attachment to changing others and responding to trolls39:00: Complaints come from emotional dissatisfaction43:45: Recap Sponsors:Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices