Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Dealing with Difficult Emotions with Mollie West Duffy

Aug 29, 2022

01:11:25

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Author and coach Mollie West Duffy discusses accepting and managing big emotions like anger, vulnerability, and anxiety. They debunk myths about dealing with tough feelings, emphasize self-compassion, emotional granularity, and relaxation techniques to navigate through difficult emotions effectively.

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Quick takeaways

Embracing big feelings and developing coping tools can enhance emotional well-being and resilience.

Medication can be a beneficial option for managing heightened anxiety levels when other strategies fall short.

Enhancing emotional granularity and challenging myths about emotions improve communication and self-expression for better emotional management.

Deep dives

The Myth of Controlling Everything

Releasing the grip of control over every aspect of a situation can reduce unnecessary stress and pressure in work environments or personal life, allowing for a more flexible and adaptive approach to challenges.

Introduction

2min

Embracing Difficult Emotions

30min

Navigating Anxiety through Control and Perspective

3min

Embracing the Vastness

6min

Navigating Control and Embracing Uncertainty for Personal Growth

6min

Navigating the Role of Medication in Managing Anxiety

3min

Exploring Myths and Realities of Big Feelings

23min

Exploring Control, Comparison, and Personal Values

3min

We all experience big, difficult feelings, from common emotions like uncertainty, anger, despair, and regret, to difficult experiences like the pains of comparison, burnout, and perfectionism. On today’s episode of Being Well Podcast, Forrest is joined by the wonderful author, coach, and content creator Mollie West Duffy to explore how we can accept those big feelings, learn to live alongside them, and develop tools that help us deal with them more effectively.

About Our Guest: Mollie is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership who has helped advise and coach executives and founders at companies including Google, Casper, and LinkedIn. She’s the co-author of the bestselling book No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, and the recently released Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay, and is also one half of the Instagram account, @lizandmollie.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:30: Why is Mollie’s new book called Big Feelings?

5:10: The useful flip side

6:45: How Mollie’s relationship to anger changed during the creation of this book

9:20: Difficult emotions as a resource and source of regulation

11:30: Unhelpful myths in how to deal with difficult emotions

16:45: Healthy responses to those myths

21:10: Vulnerability

25:50: Emotional granularity

27:05: Lengthening the time between trigger and response

30:05: Processing anxiety

35:25: How to relax the desire for control

41:45: Medication

44:10: Anxiety doesn’t accurately reflect risk

46:40: Burnout - even around things you enjoy

55:25: Comparing our suffering with others

57:05: Comparing our accomplishments with others

1:01:35: Recap

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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Dealing with Difficult Emotions with Mollie West Duffy