Becoming Whole

Send us a text“Why Can’t I stop watching porn?” This question deserves a 2 part answer, at least.In last week’s episode, we offered a high-level understanding of our neurological mapping. Learning the intricacy and purpose of serotonin, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and dopamine are important to appreciating God’s design for you. We know porn rewires our God-given desires. The on-demand, accessible nature of porn shuts down the detailed work of your Heavenly Father.  It’s time to treat yourself as someone who is worth the time and effort it takes to be free. Listen in.HIGHLIGHTSThe human body is not designed for the flood of chemicals produced by on-demand pornography.For the person habitually accessing on demand porn, two things begin to happen:1.              Thrill and exhilaration are harder to reach. So, whatever porn you’ve been viewing can cease to bring the same high it once did. As a result, you may increase the frequency of porn use. You may also increase intensity of type of porn used. Some may leave porn and seek interaction with a physical person trying to get back to level of high from before. 2.              Normal, healthy activities (like being outside, hanging with friends, creating something, etc) cease to be life-giving. The rest of life begins to gray and dull as our neuro-receptors shut down. The elicit sexual behavior takes priority over life.When you cease to feel those things and you don’t have normal ways to feel them, it’s more likely you will seek out more porn to feel something again.You’re created for connection and peace and joy and exhilaration. True connection requires something of you on the front end.It takes work, vulnerability, and risk to connect with someone else.It takes energy to get out and exercise, to plan healthy meals and eat well.Porn doesn’t require anything of you on the front end so, it can feel that porn is the best way. But, over time it takes much more from you than it’s given.It may be time to consider Sexual Abstinence:It’s going to take a while for neuro-receptors to heal and operate as they were intended.  Sexual abstinence can help curb the behavior. Don’t be surprised if you feel apathy, lose your appetite, feel agitated or more lonely during this time.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSimply put, pornography jumbles up the delicate, powerful wiring of your brain. Neurology is anything but simple. But, let’s try to our look at our neurological mapping for enough understanding to unpack and move forward in our walk towards sexual integrity.Porn rewires our God given desires. Let’s try re-wiring to what God intended for us. “The process of sanctification is an addiction to holiness, a compulsive fixation on Christ and an impulsive pattern of compassion, virtue and love.This is what we are wired for. This is what we are meant for.” (Dr William Struthers)Highlights:God wired us neuro-chemically in a way that plays into His beautiful design for us as human beings.When we use pornography on a regular basis; our wiring gets hijacked.God has designed us with intentionality and that’s true for our sexuality.4 Neuro-ChemicalsSerotonin (The Happy Chemical) – produces a sense of well-being or calm, a release from stress.  Can be increased through exercise, exposure to sunlight, healthy diet and medication.   Serotonin shows us God designed sex between husband and wife to bring relief from anxiety, a sense of well-being, health, calm.Norepinephrine- In the body, it gives an experience of being awake & alive, with increased energy. In the brain, it increases attention helping to focus on a task. In the marriage embrace, there’s a release of feeling alive, exhilaration and increased focus.  The effect can increase faithfulness between husband and wife. Also, helps to store significant experiences.Oxytocin – (The Bonding Chemical) A neurotransmitter that bonds spouses during and after sex. Released in women during foreplay and in men more after sexual climax. Lowers blood pressure, induces better sleep. Can also be fostered through meaningful conversations, meal with friends, a good cry, when a mother nurses her baby. Part of developing closeness with other people.Dopamine – (The Pleasure Chemical) Increases focus. Helps to direct your craving towards that which satisfies. In sex between husband and wife, it helps a person create a craving towards his/her spouse. If we’re taking our sexual desires to other places or people, dopamine is going to remember that and direct you there.Homework:Take note of when and where you are in your day as you look for porn. Then, ask yourself what you were looking for in that moment. Be curious and patient. Looking to your patterns can help you realize what you’re needing and then how to move differently. Nurture those parts of your life – look for ways to get calm, get connected, ways to let your body feel alive and awake.Recall Jesus’ question “What are you looking for?” Let His words speak to you today. Hear the tenderness in His voice and let Him work with you to unpack what it is you’re really looking for. Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe journey to sexual integrity is loaded with potholes and detours. Road Hazards to Sexual Integrity.Let’s be honest - It’s easy to come out of one ditch and end up stumbling into another. You’ve been doing such important work walking towards sexual wholeness.When it comes to your lusts, we hope this episode serves to alert you to two pitfalls.  As you move forward, be aware of them and be listening for Jesus invitation in it all. Let’s begin.Highlights:Two pitfalls we can fall into:1.              We focus on a body part, reducing a person to an OBJECT.2.              We focus on the person as an OBSTACLE to our sexual integrity.In both cases, we’re only concerned with ourselves and not the other person.“There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person. In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.” -Pope John Paul IILust doesn’t see a human person. It just sees body parts.Jesus invites us on the road with Him, so we see the other person as a human.Practice thinking about the person as a whole, human being.Learn more about Awaken here! Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSex is more than an act. It’s more than a bandaid, more than a habit, more than an excuse. Consider this - one of your deepest needs and desires is to be fully seen, fully known, and fully loved. A bandaid or habit can’t fulfill that kind of need. There is more to sex.  In this episode, we’ll hear how to appreciate God’s design for the relational dynamic sex offers a husband and wife.  As you’re doing the work towards sexual integrity, it’s important to also understand the integrity of sex. Highlights:We tend to treat sex as a separate entity. God’s heart for sex is that it is part of a relationship between husband and wife.Through sex, husbands and wives can give themselves as a self-gift for the good of the other.One of our deepest needs, one of our deepest desires is to be seen; to be completely seen and completely loved.Homework:• Instead of seeking to feel good, can you seek to have really great connection with your wife or with your husband?• Try asking your spouse these questions and then let them ask you:When we are together physical, do you feel seen by me?Are there parts of you that are hard to bring to our intimacy?Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWhen it comes to your story, God is the Author. And, you should be aware the enemy is eager to weave lies into every single chapter. So how do we break unholy agreements?When you hear those whispers and believe them to be true; you’re making an unholy agreement. The lies we agree to change our perception, even our experience, of reality. We hope this episode motivates you to ask the Lord to highlight the Truth so you can spot the lies and move through this chapter in true freedom. Let’s begin.Highlights:When you make an unholy agreement, you come under the lordship of a competing authority.2 Corinthians 10:5 “We destroy every argument and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”Homework:BREAKING UNHOLY AGREEMENTS:Ask God to reveal the unholy agreements in your life.Renounce your agreement with the lies. “I break agreement with the lie that…… It is not true. It has never been true. I renounce my commitment to it in the authority of Jesus.”Repeat to break the pattern. Keep asking God to reveal the lie and keep renouncing them.Gather with people who know the Truth and believe it and live it.Look at Jesus.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe age old question, Who am I? is important and fundamental to each of us.  Who are you trusting with the answer? Consider your sources: An internet search will give you more than 11 BILLION ideas to sift through. Social media offers you thousands of hashtags. And libraries are spilling with books full of answers. The world is loud with expressive individualism. Scientific language applied to social theory has trickled its way into some churches. As you do the work of uncovering and healing, we hope this episode encourages you to look to the One who created you as the source to define you.Highlights:Widely speaking, there is a general acceptance that who you experience yourself to be inwardly is the most important thing about who you are.These streams of thinking that have flowed into the Church have actually infected some of the way that the Church understands what it means to be a human being.Christianity believes that on a primal level, we are not self-defining but we have been defined by the One who created us.God’s limits are designed to help direct you towards Him and towards you we are meant to be.Homework:Where have I been pursuing my subjective self?Where have I been pursuing an idea of who I might be when I need to submit myself to Jesus and say, “I am who you say I am. And, I want to find myself in You, and You alone. Where I’ve taken that pursuit into my own hands or bowed down before other idols or images, Lord, I repent of that. And I say, “I need you.”Extras:“The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution.” By Carl R. TruemanHomework:Prayer: “Lord, I see this in me. I see that I want to hold onto this. And I need your help with it. I do surrender this to you. I want to see people as people.”Read John 21:15-19 as Jesus sees the break between he and Peter, and heals the rupture. Read Jesus’ questions again, recalling that Peter had denied Jesus three times and was now being asked three times if he loved Jesus. Read the story as an invitation for you.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWithin the realm of sexual sins, maybe you tend to look past Lust as “not so bad.”  But, looking past Lust gives this quiet sin even more destructive power.In your journey to sexual integrity, you’re working towards becoming whole. And part of that work means considering yourself and others as whole persons.Lust dismantles that work one body part at a time. It quietly splits us from ourselves and from others. Please consider taking some time to work through the Gospel Meditation in the Homework section.Highlights:Lust can be defined as looking at another person as a sexual object for my own selfish, sexual desire rather than seeing a person who’s created in God’s image to be loved.When we objectify another person, it elicits a sense of pleasure and as we hold onto the parts that make us feel good; we are discarding the rest.Lust says, “I want the parts that arouse me but not the parts that require something from me, that would cost me something.”Marriage says, “I know that there are parts of you that will cost me something and I’m all in because you’re worth all of me.”Check out AwakenHomework:Prayer: “Lord, I see this in me. I see that I want to hold onto this. And I need your help with it. I do surrender this to you. I want to see people as people.”Read John 21:15-19 as Jesus sees the break between he and Peter, and heals the rupture. Read Jesus’ questions again, recalling that Peter had denied Jesus three times and was now being asked three times if he loved Jesus. Read the story as an invitation for you.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textJournaling, Fasting, Denying, Confessing, Releasing, Praying – Becoming Whole is a process. For Jesus, because of you, it is a process worth dying for. Friends, we have arrived at the end of Lent, which brings the beginning of a new Hope. While the world is grabbing at your sexuality to pull it away from your spirituality, Jesus is breaking through the grave to make you whole again. You are worth it. Jesus’ arrival on this earth declared God’s value on both your spirit and your body as a treasure.  Jesus’ death and resurrection promises redemption of the rupture. This Easter, absorb the declaration of hope for the union of your body and your spirit in complete wholeness through our Lord Jesus Christ.Highlights:Christianity is a religion, a faith, a worldview that sees the union of spirit and body as essential to what it means to be a human being.We live in a culture that separates spirit from body in so many ways.His Resurrection is an authoritative declaration that He overcomes the powers of this world.1 Corinthians 6 “Our bodies are made for the Lord.”Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textIt’s striking to consider Jesus’ will being apart or different than God the Father’s will.After all, He came to do the will of the Father. That’s how Jesus lived His life on earth to the end. And yet, in the last days, Jesus exposes a gap. He exposes it through a desperate cry out to his Abba - “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.” Consider Jesus’ heart and his vulnerability.Exposing that His will might be different from God’s makes space for us to pull in closer to King Jesus and learn. His final days on Earth offer us more than an example. He leads us to a deeper relationship where we can acknowledge our choice, seek God’s heart, cry out and say, “Not my will but yours be done.”Let's dive in.Highlights:Your choice to echo his words comes out of union with Jesus and fosters union with Him.Obedience can cause suffering, can make things hard, involves a cost; it helps to know Jesus is in it with us.Jesus said “yes” to the Father’s will when He didn’t want to.  As Jesus decided, His decision became a gift for you now.In the moments, big or small, where you find your will is not aligned with what God is asking you to do: recognize it, don’t beat yourself up, take comfort and look for Jesus in the midst of it.Homework:And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” -Matthew 26:39“Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.” -Mark 14:36“Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.” -Luke 22:42Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textHave you noticed? There are invitations for each distinct part of you in these recent episodes of “Becoming Whole.”Our hope is you’ll say yes to the invitations and incorporate all of you into this meaningful season of Lent:  Whether it’s through Confession widening awareness for your heart or Meditation as it transforms your mind.Now, as you listen, allow your body to move through a prayerful exercise. This is simple yet powerful. As you sense your body communicating needs and desires; consider Jesus’ words. Jesus goes first. He gives us the words and so much more. Let’s begin. Highlights:“And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:19Jesus gives us His body, His death and His Resurrected body too.In the face of our temptations, our unmet longings, our bodily desires, those things we wish we didn’t want but we still want, the attractions or orientations we say no to, the habits we fight; Jesus says “This is my body given for you.”If you want to learn more, check out Josh’s latest writing on this topic at, Giving Your BodyTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)