Becoming Whole

Send us a textDieting, Parenting, Working - these are just a few of the arenas in our lives in which boundaries are not only necessary but good. These guidelines establish our limits, communicate our comfort levels and set expectations. When it comes to sexuality today, it seems the lines are blurred. Remember, your body is significant to what it means to be a human being. Your body is significant to the story of salvation. We hope you’ll consider this episode of “Becoming Whole” as a reset, realigning your identity in grace and truth.Highlights:Christians, in the name of love, are refusing truth, turning away from truth. We are bending the knee to lies and deception and darkness.Jesus came with Grace and Truth, not one or the other, but both.“If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.” 1 John 1:6 The body is a sexed body; it is either male or female. God created the body that way. And so, to act contrary to that is discordant with who God created us to be. I have an identity. It was given to me in the material creation of my body, made by God.Our very faith teaches us that our bodies are significant to what it means to be a human being and significant to what salvation is all about.Salvation comes through the death and resurrection and ascension of the God of the universe who became flesh. So, if we discard our bodies; are we discarding our way of salvation?  If our bodies don’t matter, then does Christ’s body matter? If you have been impacted by Regen or Becoming Whole, would you consider giving? You can do that here.Sacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWe believe God is omniscient. And yet, from Genesis 1:1 all the way to Revelation 22:21, there are more than 3,000 questions logged in the Bible. Why? Why would our All-Knowing God shape so much of His Word into questions? Consider how questions serve as a powerful tool to connect, dig and uncover. Perhaps God is asking you questions to connect, dig, and uncover your truest desires with you. Let’s take some time to consider the questions God may be asking. Highlights:Why does God ask questions? Part of the answer is that He wants you to pay attention to what is happening you or in your life.“After this, many of his disciples left. They no longer wanted to be associated with him. Then Jesus gave the Twelve their chance: ‘Do you also want to leave?’ Peter replied, ‘Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life.’” - John 6:66-68 MSGWhat we desire has a capacity to inform our sense about who we are.Desires can say, “This is what people like you want and what people like you do.”Desires don’t have the authority to tell us who we are. When we’re not clear on what we truly desire, we are more likely to act in accordance with who our desires tell us we are.God wants you to search your heart to understand what you really want.We are made by God to desire God and we truly aren’t satisfied until we find our satisfaction in Him.Having a truer vision of who you are and the kind of person you are, of what you’re made for and what you’re made of, that empowers us to say no to temptation and yes to God.“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” St Augustine of Hippo.Support Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe enemy is hard at work weaving lies about who you are, hoping to trap you under a suffocating blanket of who you are NOT. Don’t fall in the trap. The fabric of your being is more intricate and intentional than you can imagine. But the world and the enemy are diligent to get you to believe that what you struggle with is you, is your fault, is because of what you’ve done. As you listen, allow the Lord to tug at a few threads with you to discover the lies you might be living under. Consider letting the masterful hands that created you be the ones to uncover the larger identity you are made for.Highlights:An abuser tries to get their victim to believe they wanted the abuse, they invited it, caused it to happen. The enemy is using the same tactic on you.When you believe something false about yourself you are more likely to live into the faulty narrative the enemy wants you to believe.The enemy tries to get those that are addicted to sexual behaviors or those who experience certain types of sexual attractions to believe the lie is about their identity, about who they are. If the enemy can get you to believe that you are wired this way; then there’s no hope to overcome the struggle and live differently. This is a lie in our culture.It’s so important to not get trapped under a lie about your identity; or even under a smaller identity than God has created for you.There are lots of ways the enemy will try to back you into a destructive impression of you; limiting your relationships, your capacity to live fully alive as a man or a woman, your ability to walk in freedom and sexual integrity.Questions & a Prayer for YouWhat are the lies you believe about yourself telling you that you want this habit, you invited it, or that you caused it to happen?What do you believe about yourself that holds you captive to sin, making it more difficult to walk in freedom from that sin?“Lord, I have believed that I’m less than I am. I suspect I believe that I’m less than I am. I’ve become entrapped in a story that’s not working for me to walk in integrity and wholeness and freedom. Lord, I want to know who you say I am. So, would you expose the lies that I’ve believed about myself and would you help me embrace who you say I am even before I know and can see all the fruit of that in my life. Lord, I choose to believe you more than my experience, more that what others have said, more than what I’ve declared about myself and more than what the enemy has told me about myself.Lord, you are my creator. And who you say I am is who I am. Jesus, you are my Redeemer. And, who you’ve redeemed me to be is who I am. I say “yes” to the identity you’ve given me and “no” to every other faulty identity. Lord, Help me to walk in the newness of the life you’ve given me.In Jesus’ name, Amen.”Sacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a text“Why Can’t I stop watching porn?” This question deserves a 2 part answer, at least.In last week’s episode, we offered a high-level understanding of our neurological mapping. Learning the intricacy and purpose of serotonin, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and dopamine are important to appreciating God’s design for you. We know porn rewires our God-given desires. The on-demand, accessible nature of porn shuts down the detailed work of your Heavenly Father.  It’s time to treat yourself as someone who is worth the time and effort it takes to be free. Listen in.HIGHLIGHTSThe human body is not designed for the flood of chemicals produced by on-demand pornography.For the person habitually accessing on demand porn, two things begin to happen:1.              Thrill and exhilaration are harder to reach. So, whatever porn you’ve been viewing can cease to bring the same high it once did. As a result, you may increase the frequency of porn use. You may also increase intensity of type of porn used. Some may leave porn and seek interaction with a physical person trying to get back to level of high from before. 2.              Normal, healthy activities (like being outside, hanging with friends, creating something, etc) cease to be life-giving. The rest of life begins to gray and dull as our neuro-receptors shut down. The elicit sexual behavior takes priority over life.When you cease to feel those things and you don’t have normal ways to feel them, it’s more likely you will seek out more porn to feel something again.You’re created for connection and peace and joy and exhilaration. True connection requires something of you on the front end.It takes work, vulnerability, and risk to connect with someone else.It takes energy to get out and exercise, to plan healthy meals and eat well.Porn doesn’t require anything of you on the front end so, it can feel that porn is the best way. But, over time it takes much more from you than it’s given.It may be time to consider Sexual Abstinence:It’s going to take a while for neuro-receptors to heal and operate as they were intended.  Sexual abstinence can help curb the behavior. Don’t be surprised if you feel apathy, lose your appetite, feel agitated or more lonely during this time.Support Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSimply put, pornography jumbles up the delicate, powerful wiring of your brain. Neurology is anything but simple. But, let’s try to our look at our neurological mapping for enough understanding to unpack and move forward in our walk towards sexual integrity.Porn rewires our God given desires. Let’s try re-wiring to what God intended for us. “The process of sanctification is an addiction to holiness, a compulsive fixation on Christ and an impulsive pattern of compassion, virtue and love.This is what we are wired for. This is what we are meant for.” (Dr William Struthers)Highlights:God wired us neuro-chemically in a way that plays into His beautiful design for us as human beings.When we use pornography on a regular basis; our wiring gets hijacked.God has designed us with intentionality and that’s true for our sexuality.4 Neuro-ChemicalsSerotonin (The Happy Chemical) – produces a sense of well-being or calm, a release from stress.  Can be increased through exercise, exposure to sunlight, healthy diet and medication.   Serotonin shows us God designed sex between husband and wife to bring relief from anxiety, a sense of well-being, health, calm.Norepinephrine- In the body, it gives an experience of being awake & alive, with increased energy. In the brain, it increases attention helping to focus on a task. In the marriage embrace, there’s a release of feeling alive, exhilaration and increased focus.  The effect can increase faithfulness between husband and wife. Also, helps to store significant experiences.Oxytocin – (The Bonding Chemical) A neurotransmitter that bonds spouses during and after sex. Released in women during foreplay and in men more after sexual climax. Lowers blood pressure, induces better sleep. Can also be fostered through meaningful conversations, meal with friends, a good cry, when a mother nurses her baby. Part of developing closeness with other people.Dopamine – (The Pleasure Chemical) Increases focus. Helps to direct your craving towards that which satisfies. In sex between husband and wife, it helps a person create a craving towards his/her spouse. If we’re taking our sexual desires to other places or people, dopamine is going to remember that and direct you there.Homework:Take note of when and where you are in your day as you look for porn. Then, ask yourself what you were looking for in that moment. Be curious and patient. Looking to your patterns can help you realize what you’re needing and then how to move differently. Nurture those parts of your life – look for ways to get calm, get connected, ways to let your body feel alive and awake.Recall Jesus’ question “What are you looking for?” Let His words speak to you today. Hear the tenderness in His voice and let Him work with you to unpack what it is you’re really looking for. Support Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe journey to sexual integrity is loaded with potholes and detours. Road Hazards to Sexual Integrity.Let’s be honest - It’s easy to come out of one ditch and end up stumbling into another. You’ve been doing such important work walking towards sexual wholeness.When it comes to your lusts, we hope this episode serves to alert you to two pitfalls.  As you move forward, be aware of them and be listening for Jesus invitation in it all. Let’s begin.Highlights:Two pitfalls we can fall into:1.              We focus on a body part, reducing a person to an OBJECT.2.              We focus on the person as an OBSTACLE to our sexual integrity.In both cases, we’re only concerned with ourselves and not the other person.“There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person. In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.” -Pope John Paul IILust doesn’t see a human person. It just sees body parts.Jesus invites us on the road with Him, so we see the other person as a human.Practice thinking about the person as a whole, human being.Learn more about Awaken here! Support Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSex is more than an act. It’s more than a bandaid, more than a habit, more than an excuse. Consider this - one of your deepest needs and desires is to be fully seen, fully known, and fully loved. A bandaid or habit can’t fulfill that kind of need. There is more to sex.  In this episode, we’ll hear how to appreciate God’s design for the relational dynamic sex offers a husband and wife.  As you’re doing the work towards sexual integrity, it’s important to also understand the integrity of sex. Highlights:We tend to treat sex as a separate entity. God’s heart for sex is that it is part of a relationship between husband and wife.Through sex, husbands and wives can give themselves as a self-gift for the good of the other.One of our deepest needs, one of our deepest desires is to be seen; to be completely seen and completely loved.Homework:• Instead of seeking to feel good, can you seek to have really great connection with your wife or with your husband?• Try asking your spouse these questions and then let them ask you:When we are together physical, do you feel seen by me?Are there parts of you that are hard to bring to our intimacy?Support Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWhen it comes to your story, God is the Author. And, you should be aware the enemy is eager to weave lies into every single chapter. So how do we break unholy agreements?When you hear those whispers and believe them to be true; you’re making an unholy agreement. The lies we agree to change our perception, even our experience, of reality. We hope this episode motivates you to ask the Lord to highlight the Truth so you can spot the lies and move through this chapter in true freedom. Let’s begin.Highlights:When you make an unholy agreement, you come under the lordship of a competing authority.2 Corinthians 10:5 “We destroy every argument and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”Homework:BREAKING UNHOLY AGREEMENTS:Ask God to reveal the unholy agreements in your life.Renounce your agreement with the lies. “I break agreement with the lie that…… It is not true. It has never been true. I renounce my commitment to it in the authority of Jesus.”Repeat to break the pattern. Keep asking God to reveal the lie and keep renouncing them.Gather with people who know the Truth and believe it and live it.Look at Jesus.Support Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe age old question, Who am I? is important and fundamental to each of us.  Who are you trusting with the answer? Consider your sources: An internet search will give you more than 11 BILLION ideas to sift through. Social media offers you thousands of hashtags. And libraries are spilling with books full of answers. The world is loud with expressive individualism. Scientific language applied to social theory has trickled its way into some churches. As you do the work of uncovering and healing, we hope this episode encourages you to look to the One who created you as the source to define you.Highlights:Widely speaking, there is a general acceptance that who you experience yourself to be inwardly is the most important thing about who you are.These streams of thinking that have flowed into the Church have actually infected some of the way that the Church understands what it means to be a human being.Christianity believes that on a primal level, we are not self-defining but we have been defined by the One who created us.God’s limits are designed to help direct you towards Him and towards you we are meant to be.Homework:Where have I been pursuing my subjective self?Where have I been pursuing an idea of who I might be when I need to submit myself to Jesus and say, “I am who you say I am. And, I want to find myself in You, and You alone. Where I’ve taken that pursuit into my own hands or bowed down before other idols or images, Lord, I repent of that. And I say, “I need you.”Extras:“The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution.” By Carl R. TruemanHomework:Prayer: “Lord, I see this in me. I see that I want to hold onto this. And I need your help with it. I do surrender this to you. I want to see people as people.”Read John 21:15-19 as Jesus sees the break between he and Peter, and heals the rupture. Read Jesus’ questions again, recalling that Peter had denied Jesus three times and was now being asked three times if he loved Jesus. Read the story as an invitation for you.Support Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWithin the realm of sexual sins, maybe you tend to look past Lust as “not so bad.”  But, looking past Lust gives this quiet sin even more destructive power.In your journey to sexual integrity, you’re working towards becoming whole. And part of that work means considering yourself and others as whole persons.Lust dismantles that work one body part at a time. It quietly splits us from ourselves and from others. Please consider taking some time to work through the Gospel Meditation in the Homework section.Highlights:Lust can be defined as looking at another person as a sexual object for my own selfish, sexual desire rather than seeing a person who’s created in God’s image to be loved.When we objectify another person, it elicits a sense of pleasure and as we hold onto the parts that make us feel good; we are discarding the rest.Lust says, “I want the parts that arouse me but not the parts that require something from me, that would cost me something.”Marriage says, “I know that there are parts of you that will cost me something and I’m all in because you’re worth all of me.”Check out AwakenHomework:Prayer: “Lord, I see this in me. I see that I want to hold onto this. And I need your help with it. I do surrender this to you. I want to see people as people.”Read John 21:15-19 as Jesus sees the break between he and Peter, and heals the rupture. Read Jesus’ questions again, recalling that Peter had denied Jesus three times and was now being asked three times if he loved Jesus. Read the story as an invitation for you.Support Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)