Becoming Whole

Send us a textLet’s isolate the moment of temptation: Maybe it looks like your fingertips hovering to type in a string of words you know will lead you to that site. Or maybe it looks like driving home a different route so you find yourself rolling slowly past that street. Every bit of you pulses with energy in that moment of temptation.The world is encouraging you to say “Yes” to the urge. Giving in can leave you alone with shame and regret. So, let’s pivot to a different “yes.” This is hard work but shift your heart, mind and body in that moment to a different option. God is inviting you to a bigger YES. Let’s listen in for more.Highlights:The world tells you, “You can’t be yourself in holiness. You can only be yourself in sinfulness.” What if that is a lie from the pit of hell?Christianity understands that human beings are not just disembodied spirits. Human beings are embodied creatures, embodied spirits.We are each an individual, human person, hybrid spirit/body creature. So, in order to live-giving life, we need to live in accordance with that truth.The world, with all its sexual promiscuity and permissiveness, ignores we are created as one individual person. Our bodies are designed for sexual union with one person.To be a human person, to have sex with them is to become ONE flesh with that person.Help the showSupport the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for much more.Sacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textA jumble of frayed ends - consider the raw, exposed mess of a jumble of frayed ends. Keep this image in mind as we consider our current cultural belief system. Josh is about to carefully look at each broken strand of thinking and tie them back into one, whole, intentional, truth. God has a good, holy, beautiful design for our sexuality.  So, why is sex today a jumble of frayed ends? Let’s find out.Highlights:God could have made the method to produce babies anyway He wanted and He chose to connect sex and pregnancy.What happens if we no longer connect sex with pregnancy?Pregnancy moves from unexpected to unplanned to unwanted.Notice the difference between God’s design for pregnancy and our current cultural concept around pregnancy: Pregnancy is a risk, a threat, a danger. What happens to a cultural psyche when we think of children as unwanted.Believing that anyone is unwanted is evidence of a demonic move against humanity.Homework: PRAYER CHALLENGE: Pray that God will reconnect for us the disconnect between marriage, sex and pregnancy. Link to more on Christopher West https://tobinstitute.orgHelp the showSupport the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for much more.Sacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textLet’s go beyond reading words about God’s kindness. If you are wrestling ongoing sexual sin, if you are battling shame, if you are facing past traumas; God is inviting you to experience His kindness. Right now, what if you could hear Jesus saying to you, “I’m right here and I love you.” (be sure to look in the Homework Section for more questions)Highlights:God is near and He loves you.It’s hard to accept God’s love for you in the difficult areas of wrestling with sexual sin.We carry deep within us a fear that if anyone knew the full scope of that part of our lives they would pull away.Shame and fear are heavy burdens to carry.It’s so important to receive God’s nearness, His kindness. It is His kindness that leads us to repentance, it is His kindness that heals us. (Romans 2:4)Homework: PAUSE with these QuestionsWhere are you most anxious right now?What are you most angry about now?What are the places in your life that are the most difficult to share?What are the secrets that you’re wrestling with?What are the areas that you’re struggling to let go of?What are the things you don’t want to talk to God about?Help the showSupport the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for much more.Sacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWe’re going deeper in Part 2. Paying attention to the symbols and story-lines in your sexual fantasies often point towards a treasure within you. Sound twisted?  Look to the “Homework” section below for key questions to help you untwist your temptation from your truest desires.Let's dive in.Highlights:Your imagination is given to you by God as a creative force.When your brain stirs up a sexual story line or sexual scenes, even though it’s directing you towards something sinful, it’s also intended to create something.Begin to pay attention to the storyline or the theme of the fantasy.Temptation taps into a God given desire that you are made for however it points you in a direction that it won’t be fulfilled.Untwist the fantasies to better understand what they’re trying to reveal about what we are made for.So often, our sexual fantasies are trying to resolve something about the story that we have lived or the story that we are living.The sexual fantasy, in a way, is trying to rewrite the story with a different ending.Jay Stringer, author of “Unwanted,” refers to sexual fantasy as a way to reverse some damage that’s been done or to repeat what’s been done but change the power dynamic of it.So often, the sexual things we struggle with are not at the core about sex but more about human relational experiences that become sexualized.Imagination is being hijacked by temptation but deeper down it’s trying to communicate a problem that needs resolution.Homework:(This is spiritually mature work. We’re here to help you process and do this work.)Why is my brain trying to create something like this?Why is my mind or my heart trying to point me in the direction of that story?Look at your fantasies through these two questions to get a better picture of what they’re going after:What’s the storyline of our fantasy?What’s symbolic in our fantasies?In my fantasy, who has the power? Me or the other person? Why?Consider the typical things you’re aroused to in your fantasy: is there a specific type of person? Or a specific body part? Size or shape? What does that body part symbolize?Help the showSupport the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for much more.Sacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textFantasy looks like the scene you work up in your head from time to time. It seems innocent enough. You may tell yourself the fantasy is just a fleeting thought. But as you add details, you add emotions. Soon enough, your sexual fantasy works itself from your brain to your body amping those thoughts to feelings. In this short series, we want to urge you to take fantasy seriously. This Part One can be your Step One to breaking free from your unwanted sexual habits. (Stay tuned for Part 2 next week)Highlights:Sexual Fantasy is when you have a thought or image and you begin to work a storyline in your brain.Sexual Fantasy engages your will.Recognize that it looks kinder, gentler but it’s part of the same beast.Sexual fantasy is where you start to dissociate or unplug from the the real you in the real world with real relationships with real responsibilities where there are real consequences (positive or negative) for the things that you do.God gives you imagination as a creative force.When your imagination is hijacked by sin it moves to sexual fantasy, wanting to become flesh.Homework:Ask yourself: Is sexual fantasy part of the ritual leading me to my unwanted sexual behavior?How can you take action then?Make no compromises.Sacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSomething in your story made pornography enticing. You didn’t just stumble on it.Have you ever wondered what was happening in your life that made porn seem like a safe place to run? Decades of work in healing from unwanted sexual behaviors lead us to this episode. You are meant to do this work alone and here’s why.Highlights5 Reasons You Think You CAN Heal on Your Own:Fear asks, “What happens if I get found out? What will I lose? What will people think?”Shame says, “If people know the real truth, they’ll reject me.”Pride believes, “I’m not that bad. I can stop on my own.”Ignorance moves unaware of how addiction has affected you neuro-biologically, spiritually, emotionally.Not Ready because maybe “You don’t want to give it up.”Romans 7Some people have to lose a lot before they realize the addiction was more destructive.Proverbs 6:27-28One Reason You CANNOT Heal on Your Own:In order to overcome relational issues, you need to do the work in the context of relationship. The root of your sexual sin problem is relational. Something relational happened in your life that you responded to by moving into unwanted sexual behavior.Relational wounds cannot be healed in isolation.Your brain needs to experience relationships in a loving, healthy, attuned way in order to heal.Help the showSupport the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and moreSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textLet’s start with Adam. God went into the garden and asked him a question. Adam pointed to Eve in shame. Are you pointing fingers when it comes to your lust? Are you pointing to the pop up ad? To the woman at the bar? As you are trying to break free from lust, consider what it could look like for you to stop accusing others around you and start acknowledging what’s within you. You are designed out of love and for love, not lust. While you’re working towards sexual wholeness, remember this: God went into the garden looking for Adam and Eve in His love not because of their lust.HighlightsJesus takes lust seriously. And, there’s no where in His words that a man is not responsible for his own adultery.God made our eyes for love not lust. The God-given design of our eyes is to love, to see others and love them.Why do you blame others for your lost? Shame. Shame that we can not control ourselves, that we are so powerless in the face of beauty, that we are so weak when it comes to seeing the beauty of another’s body.If we want to be people who begin to recognize and live with the reality that our eyes are made for love and not for lust, we have to reckon with the reality of how much shame we experience at the fact that we are so out of control, that we are so weak.Extras“Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and RelationshipsHelp the showSupport the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and moreSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textBeauty carries a powerful tension. Seeing beauty isn’t enough. C.S. Lewis writes that “We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words — to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.”Beauty leads us to wanting more of it.A recent email we received asks, “What place does beauty have in the observance of another human being? Is there an ability to recognize physical beauty without assigning value or taking something from a person? Is it possible to view the human form, clothed or not, without lusting or coveting while still admiring the physical beauty God created?” So glad you asked. Let’s begin.HighlightsThere is a difference between noticing beauty, observing beauty and lusting after beauty.Lust wants to take beauty and make it my own - it’s a grasping, greedy thing without concern for the other.Beauty not only fulfills desire but it also incites desire. This tension makes human beauty different from the beauty we see in other parts of creation.We are created in God’s image so there is more opportunity to sin in how we respond to human physical beauty than how we respond to physical beauty in the world around us.Can we see physical beauty and be drawn to it without sin? Yes we can.When your heart is pure, you see God everywhere.Help the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and moreSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textBefore even stepping into the deeper waters of whether a filter shows wisdom or weakness; you can’t  ignore the tsunami coming at you. Do I Need a Filter?Listen in as Josh describes the unique age we’re living in as two powerful waves of sexual immorality and digital connectivity crashing on us 24/7. They create floodwaters rushing through your living room, bedroom, locker room, office space, car. Is a filter enough? Let’s find out.HighlightsCommon Objections to Filters:A filter is an obstacle on my computer getting in the way of work, school, and everyday tasks.My device is given to me and I can’t put a filter on it because it will expose my addiction.A filter will expose me to my spouse or family on the home computer.I want to engage in more than  “ behavior management.” We are living in an incredibly unique time in the history of humankind. This is a unique moment. There are two powerful waves that have converged in the same direction. One of those waves is the sexual immorality of our culture. In addition, the immense digital connectivity of everyone and everything in our culture.Remember pornography actually changes the wiring of your brain. It creates new neural networks that learn to run automatically.A filter creates some space, some barriers so your brain (over time), will begin to rewire in a different way and stop recognizing the screen as a conduit to sexual pleasure. You want to get after heart issues. But in order to do so, you need some space from pornography because pornography has a way of numbing your senses to what your heart is really looking for. Pornography has a way of distracting you, leading you down a path away from the things that matter most to your heart.The ultimate goal is not just abstinence from pornography, not just abstinence from sexually explicit material, the ultimate goal is that our hearts would be transformed into Christ’s likeness.Our heart begins to beat for the things that Christ’s heart beats for.Our hearts would begin to love where we in the past have just lusted.Our hearts would begin to receive the love of God instead of seeking out false loves through unwanted sexual behaviors.Help the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and moreSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textIf you have a hard time believing God wants to forgive you; again and again - This episode is for you.If you notice you’re trying to raise yourself up, reducing what you’ve done to receive mercy – This episode is for you.Let’s appreciate God’s gift of mercy as a GIFT, freely and generously given, for you right where you are.Highlights:It can feel difficult to separate the anger you feel with yourself about your own condition and how God feels about you.1 Corinthians 6:18 “Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”We have two responses when we feel frustrated with ourselves and/or the cycle we battle: 1.     Start to downplay the seriousness of what we’ve done by justifying it or spiritualize it. This avoids the significance of what we’ve done and to avoid our own fears and difficulties accepting God’s forgiveness.2.     Turn on grace. We approach God for grace but in such a way that tries to lift us up and make us worthy in some way of receiving Gods mercy. When you begin to pay attention to the deeper waters of your soul; acting out sexually, moving towards any kind of sin is really seeking to repair something, seeking to medicate something, seeking to reverse something that we’ve experienced. Gods gifts of grace and mercy and forgiveness and love are gifts.When we try to lower our need or elevate our worth; we are trying to earn those gifts.A gift cannot be earned.Ephesians 2:8 “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.”Do you trust the gift? Do you trust the gift giver?1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”“Mercy flows to the lowest places.”- Andrew ComiskeyHomeworkOpen yourself to the reality of where you are and what you’ve done. Be clear in your confession then ask God to give you mercy there.Shift your posture from you to God. Remember, the measure of mercy you’re able to receive is not dependent on you or from you. Help the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and moreSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)