Have you ever had with the belief that you were only as good as your results at work? Perhaps, if this is the case, you can identify with your work so much that if you aren’t crushing it, you believe you’re nothing. Of course, thinking about this rationally, we all can eventually come to recognize that we are more than our work. But on an emotional level, we can become so identified with our work that we forget who we are. So, here comes the big word: enmeshment. Enmeshment is an experience that many of us have interpersonally where we are so identified with a relationship that we can forget who we are. This often happens with parent and child where the parent basically says, “If you are my child and part of this family, you must be this or do that.”  And this exact dynamic can show up at work. I am so grateful to my colleague and new friend, Dr. Jana Koretz, a psychologist in Cambridge, MA, who has written extensively about enmeshment as it pertains to work. Janna is licensed psychologist who, like me, serves high-achieving individuals who may come to over identify with their work. Her article in the Harvard Business Review caught my eye, and I knew I had to interview her! When you listen in, you will hear why. It turns out that over-identifying with our role at work can have very toxic effects. Janna talks about these and ways to navigate our own internal trappings that cause this and how we can continue to excel without suffering the toxic effects of enmeshment. Janna’s article in Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2019/12/what-happens-when-your-career-becomes-your-whole-identity

Perhaps the most magical and hypnotic words ever uttered in sequence are, “Once Upon a time.”  Don’t believe me? Let’s look at one of the most successful movies ever, Star Wars. While it’s not “once upon a time” verbatim, it’s a theme and variation: how does Star Wars begin? Say it with me, “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...” Turns out, those magical words don't just relate to works of fiction. Even when it comes to the truth, our brains are oriented to think in stories. Consider this: what are your thoughts about Kentucky Fried Chicken? I'm guessing that the results are a bit varied but very few people know the story behind the famous KFC front man. A big part of its story is this: Colonel Sanders attempted to sell his secret recipe 1,009 times and was rejected every time. Does that cause you to see the business differently? Simply put, our brains have been wired throughout the millennia to think in stories. Our  traditions, morals, and values were conveyed through stories. In this episode, I visit with a storytelling expert who has decided to use her hard-earned talents to help startups increase their likelihood of success through stories. This is a brilliant idea for any business. And that is why I'm so glad to be speaking with Donna Griffit (https://donnagriffit.com/), the author of Sticking to My Story: The Alchemy of Storytelling for Startups. Donna breaks down the importance of storytelling as it relates to businesses of all kinds and you’ll hear why the founder of Slack, Stewart Butterfield and so many other luminaries are fans of her work. Listen in as Donna and I talk about storytelling and how it can help boost your business. Book link: https://amzn.to/46cSwQA This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Dating is one of the most talked about topics in my office. And for good reason: Romantic love plays such a big part of happiness for so many of us and, if life were a pie chart, the love component would take up a large slice. And dating can be tricky and bring lots of vulnerability at any stage of life. But what happens when we are dating later in life? Perhaps an unexpected divorce or the tragedy of death caused us to date at a stage in life that contradicted our imagined trajectory. And if we have children, how do we tell them we are dating?  These and so many other questions and ideas will be discussed with a woman who is dating later in life who happens to also be an expert couple’s therapist. I discovered Carol Kramer, LCSW (https://www.safeconnections.com/) who works as a psychotherapist in New York City thanks to a courageous article she wrote for the Psychotherapy Networker, describing her own dating process after the death of her husband, Steve, who died suddenly six years ago. I was taken by her candor and courage and knew she could speak to many people who are having similar experiences. To hear it from a couple’s therapist like Carol illuminates the nuances and complexities of dating at this stage in life.  So, listen in as Carol and I talk candidly about dating later in life. Link to Imago book: https://amzn.to/3qEIG9Y This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Very frequently in my office I hear from parents struggling with their child's college application process. The range of their emotions can be anywhere from anxious to utter heartbreak.Yet, does getting the golden ticket to the top university mean a good outcome for everyone? What do we need to know about the realities of what we’re gunning for? What are the myths and realities of the process and longterm outcomes? I'm so glad to have had the conversation you’ll get to hear with former Stanford University admissions officer, Dr. Irena Smith (https://www.irenasmith.com/). She is the author of a new book called, The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays, that will help anyone going through the college admission process. Irena is currently working as a college admissions counselor and her book is a total treasure. She generously shares her wisdom gleaned from spending countless hours considering the applications of thousands of students and now assisting students through this process. What's more, Irena has a PhD in comparative literature from UCLA, so her book reads like having a cup of coffee with your best friend who happens to be a superior writer! Forbes said that her book, “can serve as a potential antidote to the fevered belief that being admitted to an elite college will spell the difference between a successful life vs. a doomed future.” I couldn’t agree more!  So, listen in as Irena and I talk about things you need to know about the college admission process and beyond. Book link: https://amzn.to/3NpQW6l This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Anxiety is generally thought of something to avoid—especially when we catastrophize—you know that thing our brain does when we imagine worst-case scenarios. For most of us, these scenarios generally have no real value and the images rendered in our minds can be horribly frightening and even toxic. It calls to mind a great quote from Mark Twain who said, “I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”  Yet, consider this: can anxiety at times act as a signal for us to change course or do something different? In such moments, what if we were able to listen to what our anxiety was telling us? My guest, Dr. Kirk J. Schneider (https://kirkjschneider.com/about/) is one of today’s most prominent existential psychologists in the world. You may ask, “What is existential psychology?” Glad you did! According to the American Psychological Association, an existential psychological approach looks at “the subjective meaning of human experience, the uniqueness of the individual, and personal responsibility reflected in choice.”    And, as you’ll hear, Kirk’s work—including his latest book, is all about that. It examines the mystery of life, the anxiety incurred by that mystery, and how to listen to it and find greater meaning. His book, Life Enhancing Anxiety looks at these phenomena and helps us cultivate tools to find more meaning in our lives. SuperPsyched guest, Dr. Michael Amster, who talked on the topic of awe, raved about the book saying, “we need this brilliant book to open a new door to embracing (and engaging with) Life-Enhancing Anxiety.” And Kirkus Reviews said, “…Readers grappling with standard concepts of anxiety will find plenty of food for thought in Schneider's vision."  So, listen in as Kirk and I talk about life-enhancing anxiety. Book Link: https://amzn.to/42As3cA This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Psychedelic expert Paul Austin discusses the changing perception of psychedelics, the potential benefits of microdosing, and the misconceptions surrounding psychedelics. They also explore the risks and cautions of working with psychedelics, the use of supplements, and the potential benefits of microdosing. The importance of training for psychedelic guides is also highlighted.

Dr. Stan Tatkin, a relationship psychologist and author, discusses the importance of mutual care and regulation in relationships. He explains how humans are wired to regulate each other and highlights the significance of being in good order for overall well-being. The podcast also explores the attachment system, different definitions of love, and the importance of finding shared purpose in relationships.

There are oh, so many myths around the topic of negotiation and conflict. Some of us believe that we have to be hard, shrewd, and that it’s a zero-sum game with a winner and a loser. Some of us even believe that negotiation must hurt or it’s not a negotiation. And some of us believe that negotiation isn't a relevant part of our lives. Turns out that’s untrue. All of us must negotiate and probably more often than we are even aware. What are the necessary skills for good negotiation? What would be the best way to hold our negotiating partner in our mind? And what about other factors that might be relevant like, how and where should we be seated when we get negotiate? These and so many other questions will be answered by my expert guest, Dr. Joshua Weiss (https://www.joshuanweiss.com/). Josh is Senior Fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Project, and the co-founder of the Global Negotiation Initiative at Harvard University. Josh has worked to assist in negotiations for big corporations as well hostage negotiations and work in high conflict zones like Northern Ireland and the Middle East. He is also the author of a superb book called The Book of Real-World Negotiations: Successful Strategies from Business, Government, and Daily Life. Retired FBI agent, Joe Navarro said of the book, “By the time you finish, you know that you have been bequeathed a treasure.”  So, listen in as Josh and I talk about how to negotiate in the real world. Book Link: https://amzn.to/3CnwJI3 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Have you ever left a social event and, after talking all night to various people, felt like nothing real was said? Sure, if a transcriptionist followed you, there was lots of dialogue. But as you considered the meaning of the dialogue, it felt empty. This would not be problematic if we humans didn’t chase meaning throughout our lives. As SuperPsyched guest, mythologist, Michael, Meade says, “We are not just Homo sapiens, we are homo symbolicus,” which I think is a super cool way of saying that we are creatures who need meaning in life. Unfortunately, most schools don’t teach us how to engage in meaningful conversation. Instead, most of us go through life engaging in small talk, and not knowing how to connect with others about things that really matter to us. And because we are social creatures, much of how we learn about who we are, ourselves, occurs in a space of conversation. So not only does that keep us from knowing others, it keeps us from knowing ourselves more deeply.Doing this takes vulnerability and courage but the payoff is huge. I’m so grateful my guest, Kalina Silverman (https://www.makebigtalk.com/), started on what was meant to be a two-year journey to help us with the skill of Big Talk. She’s now in her eighth year and she doesn’t appear to be stopping anytime soon because there’s such a need for it. Being a fan of Kalina’s work is definitely not a lonely experience. Her TEDx talk has garnered over 6 million views and her Big Talk cards that facilitate good questions, sell in large volumes. Her work has been incorporated into large corporations, the military, schools, and even jails to improve the quality of life of the stakeholders there. Clearly, Kalina and Big Talk has struck a chord with what people are wanting and needing. And, please note, she is not speaking out against small talk. You’ll hear in our conversation that small talk has a place in our lives. But you’ll also hear that when it’s our only move, we miss out on so much. So, listen in as Kalina and I talk about Big Talk: why we need it and how to do it. To Purchase Big Talk Cards: https://tinyurl.com/2s448997 Kalina’s Website: http://www.kalinasilverman.com/

Many people fantasize about what it would be like to be an actor. And what many of us don't know is just how long the long game is in pursuing that dream. And we have ideas about what that life might be like. But how accurate are those ideas? What does it take to succeed in the business? And what does it take to play 224 different characters and stretch into the realities of each of those individuals? And what about social comparison and FOMO? It's a heavy component of life in the world of acting because all the players have such different realities. I mean, can you imagine playing with Leo Di Caprio or Brad Pitt and asking yourself, “How do I measure up?” I have the perfect person to answer these and so many other questions that will fascinate you. Spencer Garrett is a veteran movie actor, and he was recently inducted into the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. He has played in TV series as diverse as Dallas, Murder She Wrote, and The X-Files all the way up to recently in movies like Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and alongside Harrison Ford Air Force One. I mean, check out his IMDB—he’s done everything with seemingly everyone! I’m pretty sure that if you do, you’ll realize you’ve seen him in lots of great stuff. Spencer and I met years ago on the California AIDS Ride, a seven-day, 575-mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles, and I've always wanted to have him on the podcast. Since meeting him, watching movies has been like a long-time game of Where's Waldo; it seems like I see him everywhere! And he’s always excellent—no matter which of the diverse 224 characters he’s playing, he fully embodies the role. At least as impressive, he's an incredibly kind person with a superb work ethic and I'm grateful for his willingness to share his world with us at a very candid and deep level. So, listen in as Spencer and I get into the skills required to take on 224 different roles.