SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay

It’s summer as I write this and, for many of us, it’s high season for leisure reading.It causes me to think of my all-time favorite novel… the one I couldn’t put down and the one I keep re-reading over the years. That book is none other than Carlos Ruiz Zafon’s brilliant first of the brilliant Cemetery of Forgotten Books series and its alluring title is The Shadow of the Wind. In addition to it being my favorite book, there’s a story—personal in nature—that I’ve decided to share. It’s one that I still can’t fully believe and I share it in this short SuperPsyched solo episode. If my story resonates with you in any way, I’d love to hear! Book link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143034901/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_S42JHGGZ5PHBZC2N9PWT?linkCode=ml2&tag=superpsyche0b-20 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

With the Ted Lasso series finale in our rearview mirrors, I felt the need to record a solo episode tribute to the brilliant creator, Bill Lawrence, and to this incredible show. As a psychologist, I have seen a few shows that have illustrated what humanity could look like at its finest. For me, Ted Lasso is one of the list-toppers of shows that have. I decided to name a few things that this show has done so well and to give a shout-out to its creator, Bill Lawrence, for giving us this incredible gift. I believe I will be forever grateful to him for creating this show as well as Scrubs and Shrinking. So, listen in as I share a love letter to Ted Lasso and Bill and ask you to ask yourself, what would Ted Lasso do?

Without sex, pretty much none of us would be here. And yet, merely talking about the thing that brought us here makes many of us squirm with discomfort. We’re told it’s not polite to talk about it. It’s taboo. And we can even feel shame about it and not even let ourselves know who we are when it comes to our identities and preferences. As a result, that thing we don’t talk about becomes kind of a secret black box that is unknown. Yet, if we’re willing to open that black box, look at its contents without fear or judgment, it’s pretty fascinating. And that’s one of the reasons I’m so happy to have my guest, Ross Benes talk about it on this episode. Ross is an accomplished journalist and author of such books as the Sex Weird-O-Pedia and the Sex Effect. He shares some lesser-known secrets about sex as they relate to individuals, cultures, history, and other areas in life. So, listen in as Ross and I discuss sexual oddities. Book link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1631584375/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_0J5JYPDPNTM39ND0NDV5?linkCode=ml2&tag=superpsyche0b-20 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Dr. Eileen Kennedy Moore, an expert in helping children develop better relationships with their emotions and friendships, discusses teaching children about friendship and emotions, conflict resolution, developing discernment in friendships, handling teasing and bullying, and the importance of teaching kids about friendships and emotions. She empowers children and parents with practical strategies and insights.

We all know the expression that we are what we eat. Yet few have devoted their lives to the science behind this idea more than the guest of this episode.Dr. Michael Jacobson earned a Ph.D. in microbiology from MIT and, shortly after, devoted his expertise to the budding field of nutrition science. Michael is the founder of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, and he spent nearly five decades at the forefront of disseminating the best research available on food and health. He has also worked steadily on public policy relating to food and he’s been recognized for his contributions by the CDC and a host of other government agencies and organizations. His work includes a 25-year effort to create national policy to ban partially-hydrogenated oils. That law went into effect in 2018. Michael is now working on creating a National Food Museum and we talk about that, his career in science, and what it’s been like to be on the frontlines engaged in his work. So, listen in, as Michael shares about his life in research and policy relating to our food.

Have you ever had with the belief that you were only as good as your results at work? Perhaps, if this is the case, you can identify with your work so much that if you aren’t crushing it, you believe you’re nothing. Of course, thinking about this rationally, we all can eventually come to recognize that we are more than our work. But on an emotional level, we can become so identified with our work that we forget who we are. So, here comes the big word: enmeshment. Enmeshment is an experience that many of us have interpersonally where we are so identified with a relationship that we can forget who we are. This often happens with parent and child where the parent basically says, “If you are my child and part of this family, you must be this or do that.”  And this exact dynamic can show up at work. I am so grateful to my colleague and new friend, Dr. Jana Koretz, a psychologist in Cambridge, MA, who has written extensively about enmeshment as it pertains to work. Janna is licensed psychologist who, like me, serves high-achieving individuals who may come to over identify with their work. Her article in the Harvard Business Review caught my eye, and I knew I had to interview her! When you listen in, you will hear why. It turns out that over-identifying with our role at work can have very toxic effects. Janna talks about these and ways to navigate our own internal trappings that cause this and how we can continue to excel without suffering the toxic effects of enmeshment. Janna’s article in Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2019/12/what-happens-when-your-career-becomes-your-whole-identity

Perhaps the most magical and hypnotic words ever uttered in sequence are, “Once Upon a time.”  Don’t believe me? Let’s look at one of the most successful movies ever, Star Wars. While it’s not “once upon a time” verbatim, it’s a theme and variation: how does Star Wars begin? Say it with me, “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...” Turns out, those magical words don't just relate to works of fiction. Even when it comes to the truth, our brains are oriented to think in stories. Consider this: what are your thoughts about Kentucky Fried Chicken? I'm guessing that the results are a bit varied but very few people know the story behind the famous KFC front man. A big part of its story is this: Colonel Sanders attempted to sell his secret recipe 1,009 times and was rejected every time. Does that cause you to see the business differently? Simply put, our brains have been wired throughout the millennia to think in stories. Our  traditions, morals, and values were conveyed through stories. In this episode, I visit with a storytelling expert who has decided to use her hard-earned talents to help startups increase their likelihood of success through stories. This is a brilliant idea for any business. And that is why I'm so glad to be speaking with Donna Griffit (https://donnagriffit.com/), the author of Sticking to My Story: The Alchemy of Storytelling for Startups. Donna breaks down the importance of storytelling as it relates to businesses of all kinds and you’ll hear why the founder of Slack, Stewart Butterfield and so many other luminaries are fans of her work. Listen in as Donna and I talk about storytelling and how it can help boost your business. Book link: https://amzn.to/46cSwQA This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Dating is one of the most talked about topics in my office. And for good reason: Romantic love plays such a big part of happiness for so many of us and, if life were a pie chart, the love component would take up a large slice. And dating can be tricky and bring lots of vulnerability at any stage of life. But what happens when we are dating later in life? Perhaps an unexpected divorce or the tragedy of death caused us to date at a stage in life that contradicted our imagined trajectory. And if we have children, how do we tell them we are dating?  These and so many other questions and ideas will be discussed with a woman who is dating later in life who happens to also be an expert couple’s therapist. I discovered Carol Kramer, LCSW (https://www.safeconnections.com/) who works as a psychotherapist in New York City thanks to a courageous article she wrote for the Psychotherapy Networker, describing her own dating process after the death of her husband, Steve, who died suddenly six years ago. I was taken by her candor and courage and knew she could speak to many people who are having similar experiences. To hear it from a couple’s therapist like Carol illuminates the nuances and complexities of dating at this stage in life.  So, listen in as Carol and I talk candidly about dating later in life. Link to Imago book: https://amzn.to/3qEIG9Y This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Very frequently in my office I hear from parents struggling with their child's college application process. The range of their emotions can be anywhere from anxious to utter heartbreak.Yet, does getting the golden ticket to the top university mean a good outcome for everyone? What do we need to know about the realities of what we’re gunning for? What are the myths and realities of the process and longterm outcomes? I'm so glad to have had the conversation you’ll get to hear with former Stanford University admissions officer, Dr. Irena Smith (https://www.irenasmith.com/). She is the author of a new book called, The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays, that will help anyone going through the college admission process. Irena is currently working as a college admissions counselor and her book is a total treasure. She generously shares her wisdom gleaned from spending countless hours considering the applications of thousands of students and now assisting students through this process. What's more, Irena has a PhD in comparative literature from UCLA, so her book reads like having a cup of coffee with your best friend who happens to be a superior writer! Forbes said that her book, “can serve as a potential antidote to the fevered belief that being admitted to an elite college will spell the difference between a successful life vs. a doomed future.” I couldn’t agree more!  So, listen in as Irena and I talk about things you need to know about the college admission process and beyond. Book link: https://amzn.to/3NpQW6l This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Anxiety is generally thought of something to avoid—especially when we catastrophize—you know that thing our brain does when we imagine worst-case scenarios. For most of us, these scenarios generally have no real value and the images rendered in our minds can be horribly frightening and even toxic. It calls to mind a great quote from Mark Twain who said, “I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”  Yet, consider this: can anxiety at times act as a signal for us to change course or do something different? In such moments, what if we were able to listen to what our anxiety was telling us? My guest, Dr. Kirk J. Schneider (https://kirkjschneider.com/about/) is one of today’s most prominent existential psychologists in the world. You may ask, “What is existential psychology?” Glad you did! According to the American Psychological Association, an existential psychological approach looks at “the subjective meaning of human experience, the uniqueness of the individual, and personal responsibility reflected in choice.”    And, as you’ll hear, Kirk’s work—including his latest book, is all about that. It examines the mystery of life, the anxiety incurred by that mystery, and how to listen to it and find greater meaning. His book, Life Enhancing Anxiety looks at these phenomena and helps us cultivate tools to find more meaning in our lives. SuperPsyched guest, Dr. Michael Amster, who talked on the topic of awe, raved about the book saying, “we need this brilliant book to open a new door to embracing (and engaging with) Life-Enhancing Anxiety.” And Kirkus Reviews said, “…Readers grappling with standard concepts of anxiety will find plenty of food for thought in Schneider's vision."  So, listen in as Kirk and I talk about life-enhancing anxiety. Book Link: https://amzn.to/42As3cA This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).