SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay

The US Constitution became effective 235 years ago. It is a document that was way ahead of its time. Yet, while the document is the same as it was, much of our world has changed since then. We can talk about what it says and debate aspects about it. But what would it be like to live daily life according to what the document says? AJ Jacobs (https://ajjacobs.com/) is a New York Times bestselling author. He is also one of the funniest, smartest, and most curious people I have ever known. Each of his books have involved stretching his knowledge through experience and I call him a stuntman driven by his desire to learn. Instead of putting his body in danger, however, his stunts are doing things like bringing the constitution to life by walking through the streets of Manhattan with a tricorn hat and a musket. He does these and other feats while following various aspects of the Constitution to the letter. His latest book, The Year of Living Constitutionally: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Constitution's Original Meaning was a total delight to read. The book has received copious praise and the words that resonated most with me came from Andy Borowitz who said, “I didn’t know how I learned so much while laughing so hard.” This is AJ's fifth interview on the SuperPsyched podcast, and I am so delighted to have him back. His commitment for personal growth, to live life according to his values, and to waving his freak flag fully is utterly inspiring to me. So, listen in as AJ talks about his year of living constitutionally.

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of interviewing one of the most popular thought leaders in modern psychology. That person is none other than Dr. Frank Anderson (https://frankandersonmd.com/). Frank is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who has turned his attention to treatment of trauma, particularly with a powerful method called Internal Family Systems (IFS). Frank has worked alongside the creator of IFS, Dr. Richard Schwartz, also a SuperPsyched guest, and Frank has become internationally known and revered. On this episode, however, he’s getting very personal, and he is sharing his story in a memoir called To Be Loved. I loved this book as did thought leaders like various SuperPsyched guests Lori Gottlieb and David Kessler. Frank shares deeply about his own trauma and he shows how his maxim of “Trauma blocks love. Love heals trauma.” relates to his own life. So, listen in as Frank and I talk about his story and how he became the man he is today.

Between the early 1950s and the early 2000s, over 150,000 Korean children were adopted to the United States. In fact, the guest on my episode cites a figure of approximately 10% of all Korean Americans were adopted. As it turns out, there are many misconceptions about adoption in general and, certainly about Korean adoption (also known as transracial adoption). What are the myths? What are the realities? What might an adoptee need to know and what might the adoptive parents need to know? I am so glad I had the opportunity to speak with an expert on this topic. Dr. Joshua Heitzmann is a psychologist in private practice in San Jose. He is also the president-elect of the California Psychological Association and current president of the Bay Area Psychological Association. And he’s not just an expert on Korean adoption, but as you will hear, he was adopted from Korea himself.  Trigger warning: Josh shares some very painful memories about his childhood that may stir up feelings for sensitive listeners. Please listen in and, if you do so, I recommend you listen all the way to the end because so much depth and wisdom is present throughout this episode as Josh shares about Korean adoption. Source: chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.tobiashubinette.se/korean_adoptions.pdf

For this episode, I’m delighted to welcome back—a friend of the podcast, Dr. Emma Seppala (https://www.emmaseppala.com/). Emma is a professor at Yale School of Management and we’re talking about her new book, Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos.  Indeed, we are sovereign individuals and, quite often, we need to be reminded of that fact. It's a word I’ve used many times with the people who see me, and I was thrilled to see that Emma dedicated an entire book to explore this crucial idea. She carves out a powerful path through scientifically-validated strategies to feel more in charge of ourselves and our own lives. I loved the book as did Dr. Dan Siegal and previous SuperPsyched guest, Dr. James Doty.  So, listen in as Emma and I talk about claiming your birthright as a sovereign person!

Perfectionism. It can have its upsides and can catapult us to new heights. But it can also be stifling, cause pain to the perfectionist, and can cause pain to everyone around the perfectionist. Many people who are perfectionists may not even realize it. What is perfectionism, and why does it exist? What are the upsides and downsides? What effects can it have on an organization at work? And what effects can it have on life outside of work? How can the supervisor of someone who is hampered by perfectionism address their employee? Dr. Greg Chasson (https://voices.uchicago.edu/gchasson/) is a professor of psychology at the University of Chicago Medical School. He has written a book on perfectionism in the workplace that I absolutely loved. Flawed is well researched, full of useful instruction, and really fun to read. So, listen in as Greg and I talk about perfectionism, how it can affect perfectionists and those around them, and what can be done about it.

Do you remember your 20s? Perhaps you are in your 20s! Regardless, for most of us, our 20s featured a different series of challenges than our teen years did. For many of us, we were just getting started with serious work, just getting started with serious relationships, and, oh, I don’t know, trying to figure out the rest of our lives. Many of us traveled hoping to figure out who we were. Many of us were depressed and lonely. Many of us thought there was something profoundly wrong with us. But as I have learned, there was generally nothing really wrong with us. We were in our 20s and that’s what that decade is like; it’s turbulent. There are a lot of books on early childhood, late childhood, early adolescence, late adolescence, and books on various other stages of life including middle age and older age. However, there haven't been many books specifically looking at the decade known as our 20s. That's where the guest on this episode comes in and, wow, how badly do I wish I had known during my 20’s the information we’re discussing! Dr. Meg Jay (https://megjay.com/)  is a psychologist who specializes in treating people in their 20s. She’s written three outstanding books, and I cannot begin to tell you how much I love them! They include The Defining Decade, Supernormal, and her latest, The Twenty Something Treatment. Her books have received accolades high and low from the New Yorker, Slate.com, Adam Grant, and so many thought leaders it’s like a giant Meg Jay parade of fans. If there were such a parade, I’d definitely be in it and imagine that you will end up feeling similarly. So, listen in as Meg and I talk about twenty somethings and what they need to know.

The current estimation that a marriage in the US will end in divorce is somewhere between 43 to 45%. Divorce is also regularly cited as the second highest life stressor for Americans, just below the death of a spouse.Given the high incidence of divorce paired with the degree of stress it can incur, it’s a good idea to know more about it. One of the top psychology experts in the field of divorce and child custody is my colleague, Dr. Michael Kerner (https://kernerevals.com/). Mike has performed over 450 child custody evaluations, and has practiced forensic psychology since 1986. Mike is the recipient of multiple awards including California Psychological Association’s Distinguished Contribution to Psychology in 2018. Mike has been a mentor to many colleagues and certainly to me. His wisdom and gentle way of conveying it shows up in this interview. So, listen in, as a top child custody evaluator talks about divorce. Sources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201702/what-is-the-divorce-rate-really https://www.dartmouth.edu/eap/library/lifechangestresstest.pdf

Cancer. The “C” word. The disease that is so feared, people often whisper it in sentences. Yet, according to recent statistics, nearly 40% of us will be diagnosed with some form of cancer in our lifetimes. With numbers this high, it behooves us to know more about this feared disease. I was recently captivated by an article written by a colleague, describing her own experience with cancer and I asked her to talk about it on this podcast. Dr. Anna Lock (https://cbtcarolina.com/cbt-therapist-north-carolina/) is a fellow psychologist in private practice and she serves as the Clinical Director at Psychotherapy Networker. I’m grateful to her for all she shared on this episode.  Anna was diagnosed with cancer while she was a mom of a young child. She describes her experiences and identifies many of the services that are sorely lacking by the systems that treat people with cancer. She also offers insights and advice for people who are currently dealing with cancer or who are in remission from it. Her insight is similarly valuable for those of us who love someone at any stage with the disease. So, listen in as Anna and I talk about a psychologist’s experience with cancer.  Source: https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/understanding/statistics

Imagine two students in college: one is a gay male, and the other is a straight super jock. The gay male is quiet and introverted, and the straight guy is extraverted to the point of being loud and into the old joke of throwing something at a person and shouting, “think fast!” Can you imagine these two guys being friends? How about dear friends for 40 years? Let's make it a little more interesting still: the straight guy would become a high achieving Navy SEAL. And he would also be the one to help his gay friend express his emotions more fully. Will Schwalbe wrote a beautiful memoir chronicling his friendship with Chris Maxey and very intimate details of how each man supported the other. The book is called We Should NOT Be Friends and it has received acclaim from seemingly every major news outlet and was even named a New Yorker Best Book of the Year. Those of you who know me know that I care a great deal about friendship. And this book hit a grand slam. So, I can't wait for you to hear my conversation with Will Schwalbe as we talk about friendship.

Back in the 90’s when email was still new, one of the first viral emails I received was a commencement address to a group of high school students. The person who delivered that address was Guy Kawasaki. Guy is very well known and, for those of you who don't know him, you are about to hear from a man who has done a lot with his life so far. He worked closely with Steve Jobs as one of the Apple employees originally in charge of marketing the Macintosh. He would go on to writing 16 books, work as a venture capitalist, sit on the Wikimedia Foundation board of trustees, and become the chief evangelist for Canva. He is also a husband, father, and later in life became a hockey player and a surfer. He started surfing at 60. If you look at his Wikipedia page, you will see that it reads like the story of a renaissance man living in Silicon Valley. Guy has been a hero of mine for some time and I finally got to meet him when I was emceeing the Palo Alto TEDx event where he was one of the speakers. Guy crushed it on stage but, as you’ll learn, he had no real way of knowing because he is deaf. Guy is the host of the Remarkable People podcast and his newest book is called Think Remarkable. The book is outstanding with a foreword by Jane Goodall and it has received praise from many greats including Carol Dweck and Robert Cialdini. You’ll hear all kinds of wisdom from this wise man (coincidentally, the title of his autobiography is Wise Guy and it’s one of my all-time favorite memoirs). And a key takeaway is something I believe we all want to learn: how to be remarkable.