The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

The world is experiencing a time of high stress and universal confusion like most of us have never experienced in our lifetimes. We are all walking through a collective trauma together. But just because an experience is common, it does not mean we all respond to it in the same way. Each of us is wired uniquely, and every personality type experiences stress and anxiety differently. The Enneagram is such a powerful tool for understanding ourselves and our personalities, and it gives us incredible insights into how we are each processing the stress of COVID-19. In today's episode, I talk with my friend and holistic Enneagram coach, Ramona Reid, to discover the various ways each Enneagram type might be processing stress. From wanting to fix the situation or help others to feelings of isolation and fear, it's so important to understand how you respond to stress so you can recognize it and get back into balance. Listen to discover: What stress looks like for each Enneagram type How to cope and find balance based on your unique stress response How to find your "peace point" Tools for your type to help you manage stress and fear The Enneagram is not a box but rather a tool for self-discovery that reveals our strengths, weaknesses, fears and desires so that we can grow beyond our type. Understanding how you are responding to stress right now will give you more compassion for yourself and others as we all walk through a very different, yet shared global experience. "This is the opportunity to see ourselves either show up and use our tools and be present and healthy or show up and manage fear in the ways we've learned through our coping mechanisms." - Ramona Reid "Now is not a time to take [the Enneagram] and try to fix ourselves...it's more an opportunity to see what's happening from fear." - Ramona Reid Other Episodes With Ramona #51: Find Your Authentic Self at the Heart of Your Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/51-find-your-authentic-self-at-the-heart-of-your-enneagram/ #114: Deepening the Adult Chair Using the Wisdom of the Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/114-deepening-the-adult-chair-using-the-wisdom-of-the-enneagram-with-ramona-reid/ #176: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/176-childhood-wounding-in-the-enneagram/ Resources Ramona Reid Website http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/ Ramona Reid Instagram https://www.instagram.com/nashvillecenter/ Ramona Reid Facebook https://www.facebook.com/nashvillecenterforalternativetherapy The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/events/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

There is no doubt that it's not an easy time for the nervous system. With the amount of collective and personal fear and stress in our world right now, our minds and bodies have to work extra hard to maintain a state of calm and balance. Fortunately, we're not on our own! There are SO MANY amazing, simple tools that you can use to make a huge difference in how you feel on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. In today's episode, I'm chatting with my friend Annie Boerner, an integrative health practitioner who specializes in calming and balancing the whole person through the nervous system. With a background in neurological therapy, bodywork and other powerful techniques, Annie helps people overcome pain, chronic health problems, PTSD and other stress-related challenges naturally and holistically. I'm so grateful to have Annie on the show today as she shares some of her favorite tools for natural relief of anxiety, overwhelm and stress. From essential oils to hands-on tools for keeping yourself relaxed and in balance, this is a super practical episode with ideas that you can begin using to feel better TODAY! You will discover: How essential oils interact with the brain to provide nervous system and emotional support The best oils for immune support, anxiety, depression and more Body-based tools for calming the nervous system Stress-relieving practices and sensory resources such as brushing, weighted blankets, nature, music and meditation Grounding techniques for getting in the present moment and calming your energy The importance of fun and movement Though we created this episode in the middle of a global pandemic, the reality is that life is often stressful and challenging, even when the world is not in crisis. The simple, practical and affordable tools Annie offers us really work and can be integrated into our daily routines for greater peace every day. And THAT is some good news worth celebrating! "A dysregulated nervous system is at the root of all disease and dysfunction in the body." - Annie Boerner Resources Annie Boerner Website https://annieboerner.com/ Annie Boerner Instagram https://www.instagram.com/annieboerner/ Annie Boerner Facebook https://www.facebook.com/anniewaugh13/ Oils That Annie Recommends OnGuard Lemongrass Adaptiv Wild Orange Frankincense The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

As much as we hate to admit it, difficult times are part of life. Sometimes, they come in the form of trying seasons in our personal lives; other times, the whole world goes through challenges together, facing disasters like famine, tornadoes and disease. But just like difficulty is part of human history, so is resilience. Each of us has the ability to not only cope with what life throws our way, but to become stronger and thrive as a result. It was such a gift to interview Linda Graham, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping people cope with life's challenges and develop a healthy sense of self through them. As I write these notes in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping the world, I feel it is so important to explore this topic, and I know Linda's perspective will be so encouraging to many. In this episode, we're talking all about resilience, including how it relates to our nervous systems, how we can find peace and balance in the middle of pain, how we can bounce back from trauma and how we can reverse the impact of stress in our lives. We are all called to cultivate this skill through various life experiences, and while it might not be the most fun lesson to learn, the beautiful thing is that practicing resilience cultivates a mindset that empowers us to cope with anything. Listen to this episode to discover: How resilience develops and how to get unstuck from trauma The source of anxiety and depression and how they are connected to the nervous system How to live with realistic optimism, which means facing what's happening and making wise decisions about what to do next The art of skillful distraction and how to cope with pain in healthy ways Teaching resilience to our kids Navigating grief and practicing gratitude and compassion to build resilience And SO much more!! Linda also shares a number of practical body-based tools that can help us adjust our nervous systems, keep a clear mind and an open heart and face what life throws our way. I know you will be encouraged by Linda's reminder that you always have a choice, and you will find hope in the fact that nothing is permanent and we can bounce back stronger than ever. "We go through disappointments and difficulties in our life. We're called upon to face disaster. A resilience practice gives us tools and a mindset where we can cope with anything at all." - Linda Graham "The most important thing is to shift from focusing on the stressor to focusing on our own internal response because that is what we can do something about." - Linda Graham Resources Linda Graham Website https://lindagraham-mft.net/ Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience by Linda Graham https://www.amazon.com/Bouncing-Back-Rewiring-Resilience-Well-Being/dp/1608681297 Resilience: Powerful Practices to Bounce Back from Disappointment, Difficulty and Even Disaster by Linda Graham https://lindagraham-mft.net/resilience/ The New Adolescence by Christine Carter https://www.amazon.com/New-Adolescence-Raising-Successful-Distraction/dp/1948836548 The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff https://www.amazon.com/Coddling-American-Mind-Intentions-Generation/dp/0735224897 Care/Of - 50% off your first order https://takecareof.com/ Promo code: adult50 The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

I am so excited about today's episode — both because I'm interviewing someone I deeply admire, the inspiring Amberly Lago, and because this show couldn't have come at a more divine time with all that's going on in the world today. Amberly is someone I would call a "resiliency expert," and she has a lot to teach us about finding inner strength during challenging times. Amberly has been through so much in her life, but instead of letting it overcome her, she worked through fear and pain and shows us how we can find light even in dark times. She now helps millions of others discover how to persevere and live life to the fullest regardless of circumstances through her writing, speaking, podcasts and workshops. In this episode, Amberly shares her powerful story of healing from a motorcycle accident and her journey through chronic pain, depression and learning to reclaim power over her life and live with true grit and grace. You can't help but be inspired by her ability to turn tragedy into triumph and pain into purpose — and to realize you have the same choice every day. Listen to discover: How to find strength and hope in times of struggle The power of choosing our thoughts and how positive thinking and gratitude really changes your life The importance of community and why getting vulnerable is a strength and not a weakness Her unique "PACER" process for strengthening resiliency and getting through challenges we face in life Amberly's book changed my life and has become a touchstone for me when I find myself reaching for hope. I hope that this week's show inspires you and reminds you that no matter what is going on in your life (or the world), with a little bit of hope and a lot of determination, you can overcome anything! "Once you realize you have a choice, you take your power back." - Amberly Lago "Getting grateful turns what we can't do into what we can do, and it turns what we don't have into what we do have." - Amberly Lago Resources Amberly Lago https://amberlylago.com/ True Grit and Grace (Amberly Lago) https://amberlylago.com/product/true-grit-and-grace/ Amberly Lago Instagram https://www.instagram.com/amberlylagomotivation/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

As we are in the middle of a global pandemic that is causing so much fear and confusion, I wanted to offer you a bonus episode with a free meditation to help you promote relaxation and peace. It's such a confusing time right now, and the events of the last few weeks don't make sense to anyone. Some people are scared, angry, anxious or unsure how to feel. And I understand why. Nothing can prepare us for a global crisis like this. Even though I don't understand why all of this is happening, I firmly believe that we are connected to something so much bigger than us, and I cling to the fact that something good is coming from this, even if we can't see it right now. Fear makes us feel disconnected from ourselves and separated from this Love, but it's always there for us when we slow down and tune in. This free, five-minute self-love meditation will help you connect to that bigger source of Love and reconnect to yourself so you can find a state of peace and balance (mentally, emotionally and physically) despite what is going on. Whether you're listening to this during this time of collective uncertainty or you're listening at a later date to help you navigate a personal time of fear, I hope this will be a gift to you to help bring hope and healing, even in the middle of hard times. Resources More Free Meditations https://theadultchair.com/meditations/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you? In today's show, I'm interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social engagement system, based on the Vagus Nerve. In this episode, we talk about how we can both understand and balance our nervous system — from the different ways we respond to fear or danger (including fight, flight, freeze and a new one you might not be aware of) to how we can change our response to stressors over time. We explore how we can stop moralizing our nervous response, how to listen and pay attention to our nervous system and how others' nervous systems can help us regulate. It is FASCINATING! Listen to discover: What the Polyvagal Theory is and why it's important for you to know about it Understanding the Polyvagal Theory to learn how to better balance the nervous system How the Polyvagal Theory could be linked with depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and other ailments How we can reshape our nervous system Specific ways to self-regulate when you are stressed, based on YOUR unique nervous system This blends attachment theory, stress response, self-regulation, co-regulation and SO much more. The big takeaway is that you have a choice! Even though you don't get to choose how your nervous system is wired, you can eventually shift how you respond to situations and regulate your own system — which is so empowering! "We don't get to choose our survival response." - Deb Dana "We want to stretch our nervous system but not stress our nervous system." - Deb Dana Resources Deb Dana https://https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/ The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/ref=nodl_ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

I truly can't believe we're here ⁠— the 200th episode of The Adult Chair podcast and over 2 million downloads! This started out as an experiment to help my clients, and I'm BLOWN AWAY by what it has become. I couldn't be more thankful to you for listening and inviting me into your life each week. I'm thrilled and humbled to have helped in a small way on your journey toward your most authentic self. For our 200th episode, I wanted to share a bit more about The Adult Chair ⁠— the backstory behind how it came about, what it is and how you can use it every day in your life. I realize many of you might not know where this model comes from or the dozens of methods it includes, so today, you'll discover a little bit more about all of the simple psychology and grounded spirituality that is part of The Adult Chair. I'm also sharing a brand new six-step process from The Adult Chair that will help you transform ANY situation life throws your way. Here is each step I talk about in the episode for reference: What happened? The story I made up is: What Chair am I in? This makes me feel: From my Adult Chair, here is what's true: What I'm going to do next is: This episode will also give you a crash course in what the model is and how it works, so if you're brand new or want to share this podcast with a friend, this is a great place to start! Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being part of this community. The Adult Chair is so much more than a podcast. It's a movement of healing and transformation that now includes workshops and events, a membership community, our brand new coaching certification and training program and tons of free resources for your journey. There are so many more exciting things coming, and I can't wait for 200 more episodes with you! Resources Inner Child Resource https://courses.theadultchair.com/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Everybody wants to be happy, and most of us want a partner to share our happiness and lives with. But finding that partner? Easier said than done. Dating can be exhilarating, confusing, fun, exhausting and all the things. Experiencing connection with another person is deeply meaningful and also incredibly complex — especially when we bring our own pasts, traumas and expectations into the early stages of a relationship. How do we know if a relationship is meant to be forever or for a season in our lives — or not at all? How do we date in a healthy way? Most of us date (and live) from our Adolescent Chair with all its fears, desires and past hurts. Add in emotions and physical attraction, and our adolescent self is running the show! But it doesn't have to be this way. You can experience fulfilling dating relationships (even with someone who isn't ultimately "the one") when you date from your Adult Chair. And if you're looking for a long-term partner, you absolutely need to be choosing from your most authentic, healthiest self! In today's episode, we're talking all about how to date from your Adult Chair, including: How to know if you are picking the right partner Control issues in dating Divorce and dating Love addiction and love avoidance How to know if it's love or lust How to let go and go with it (from a centered place) Staying connected to yourself while falling for someone else I had such a great conversation with my friend, Jackie, as part of today's episode, and I know you will love hearing her questions and learning from her experiences. Whether you're looking for the one, just getting into the dating game, trying to guide your actual adolescent children through their first relationship or just curious about relationships from an Adult Chair perspective, you will love this episode! "If you're in doubt, you've got to slow down and get clear on where you are. We need to enter into any relationship from a place of balance." "When you feel yourself disconnect from you and you're not picking up on the red flags, that's a problem." Resources The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Fear creeps in and out of our lives all the time. It's just a human emotion, but it's a sneaky one. It starts small, then all of the sudden, we're overtaken by it until it becomes paralyzing. A little bit of fear can quickly turn into a lot of fear. A few weeks ago, I shared a story with you about some anxiety I was experiencing and a six-step process to move from panic to peace quickly (check out episode #195 to discover this process). While this process is incredibly effective, I found that I still had some fear creeping up, despite being able to calm my feelings of anxiety. I began to get curious about this fear and figure out why it was coming into my life. Fear is often a future-focused emotion. It is based on unknowns, which trigger the Adolescent and throw us into stories and assumptions. When we find ourselves afraid, many people advise us to step back and "trust the process" — which is true, but much easier said than done! Before we can trust, we must find the part that is able to trust and connect with that part. In this show, I am sharing the secret I discovered to identify the source of fear and transform it before it triggers the ego. There is a part of us where both fear and trust live, and when we tap into it, it transforms fear — almost instantly! You'll discover: Where your fear originates How to stop stories and assumptions before they start (before we even slide into the Adolescent) How to discover the source of your emotions How to stop fear in its tracks and find deeper peace Practical tips for doing inner child work (one of the most powerful processes for healing) By the way, if you liked the six-step process in episode #195, the tips I share in today's episode make for a great "Step 7" that can be added on to that process — in just one minute or less! Resources The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/ https://courses.theadultchair.com/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ From Anxiety & Panic to Peace Podcast https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/195 Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

The other day I heard from someone who was having a bad day. She asked if this meant she had lost her self-love and how she could know she had enough self-love. That conversation made me realize how little we know about self-love, and it inspired me to do this show. Like any relationship, our relationship with ourselves has its ups and downs and its good and bad days. Just because we don't "feel the love" in every moment doesn't mean it's not there! All great love grows over time and goes so much deeper than our feelings. Those bad days can be temporary, but once it builds, our self-love stays with us. So, in today's episode, I'm telling you all about how you can know and grow self-love. I go down memory lane a bit and share my story of going from self-loathing, negative self-talk, low self-esteem and even suicidal thoughts to learning to love myself. Then I share how you can do the same! Listen to discover: How I found self-love (and how The Adult Chair model can help you find it too!) How to change negative self-image into self-compassion Signs that you love yourself 5 practical ways to know and grow self-love We must become the director of our lives and not rely on others to boost us up. It's always nice to receive a compliment or a kind word, but when we learn to be our own cheerleaders, we can build our self-esteem and self-love no matter what our outside relationships look like. It's a total game changer! Resources Bombas https://bombas.com/ADULT 20% off your first purchase The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com