The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

We all know the word "narcissism." We can usually spot a narcissist a mile away. They are loud, want all the attention and can be obnoxious. This is known as overt narcissism. But can you spot a covert narcissist? They can be tricky, with a more "subtle" form of narcissism. It can sting just as badly, but you have no idea it's happening (at least not initially) because it's so subtle. A covert narcissist still craves attention, but they are sneaky or subtle with how they get it. They look amazing on the outside, but behind closed doors, everything becomes your fault. You are made to feel crazy. They will blame and shame you to get their way. They look like they are socially connected, but in reality, they are inept at building deep relationships and letting anyone in emotionally. In the end, you wonder if you are the bad person in the relationship. It's no wonder that relationships with this type of narcissist can be so confusing and damaging! In today's episode, I help you break down the disguises that covert narcissists wear. You'll learn: How narcissism develops Signs that you might be in a relationship with a narcissist Sneaky traits of a covert narcissist (and how to spot them!) What to do if you are in a relationship with someone who has these traits Narcissism can wreak havoc in our lives — sometimes before we even realize it. That's why it's so important to know what to look for, spot covert narcissism and take care of yourself if you suspect you have a narcissist in your life. "They want the world to be according to them. It's their map of the world. The way they see the world is the only way. And if you don't agree with the way they see the world, blaming and shaming happens." "If it feels bad, it's not love." Resources The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Podcasts https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

What do you do when anxiety creeps up out of nowhere and sends you into a state of panic? Maybe it's a stressful call or email, an overflowing to-do list or all of your worries being flung in your face at once, until it feels like fear is taking over your body. You know the feeling: irrational thoughts, a racing heart, a mind that's racing even faster and even symptoms like a headache or upset stomach. This happened to me the other day, and it felt like every part of my life was spinning out of control. The unknowns were sending me into a panic that just kept spiraling deeper. But this is why we have The Adult Chair! I was able to take this opportunity to lean in, get curious and use the tools in the "TAC toolbox" to return to a state of calm. And in today's episode, I'm going to give you the six tools I used to go from panic to peace — in just 20 minutes. Listen to discover: How to stop the ego in its tracks and return to flow state How to slow down and stop the panic cycle Mindful tools that ground us when our thoughts are spinning Hands-on exercises to bring the nervous system back in balance Tips for busting stories and getting back to calm Once we get into an anxious state, it will feed itself until we step in and stop it. You have everything you need in your healthy Adult — and this episode will show you exactly what to do to break out of panic and return to balance. Resources Care/of http://takecareof.com/ Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

There is nothing worse than when we find ourselves caught in a bad mood. Whether we wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something triggers us and sends us into a funk, we all experience moments or even days where we feel a bit "down." Often, it can be difficult to identify where our mood has come from or why we feel this way. We might just know we feel bad, sad, lonely, anxious, depressed or emotionally "off." It can be hard to get back on track when we don't even know what's causing it! Today, I'm offering you a simple, easy-to-use, three step process to help you discover what's going on inside and shake you out of your mood: a technique I call "Purge, Connect and Reach." You know I love methods that give you quick transformation, and this technique has been SO powerful for me and many of my clients. This episode will show you how to: Get clear on and release your emotions Connect to true emotions and needs underneath your mood Find your fact and truth and shift your focus to the present Moods are part of being human, but you are in control of them! Purge, Connect and Reach will help you navigate that emotionally "off" feeling the next time it strikes. Resources Inner Child Free Guide https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/ The Adult Chair Workshop Charlotte January 30-Feb1 https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We can never talk enough about boundaries! They are so important for loving ourselves, living empowered and creating healthy relationships, but most of us never saw healthy boundaries modeled and struggle with setting them. That's why I'm SO excited to have the amazing boundary and relationship expert, Nedra Glover Tawwab, on this week's show! In this episode, we have a great conversation about boundaries in all kinds of relationships, whether it be your mother, father, sibling, your teen, your spouse (or ex-spouse), boss or friend. Nedra and I discuss what we need to learn and do to set clear boundaries, and she explains how necessary it is for our mental health to express and communicate our needs. Our conversation covers SO much ground, including: What a boundary is and what it looks and sounds like How to honor your own boundaries and not give in when you get pushback What to do when the person you set a boundary with gets mad Navigating guilt when setting boundaries How boundaries can reduce anxiety and boost your overall mental health Answers to your top questions about boundaries It's so important to take care of ourselves and have "self" boundaries, which may not involve anyone but us. These can be the most important of all! I think you are really going to enjoy this show. It's filled with great tips on how to get started with setting your boundaries today. Resources The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership Stay Connected Nedra Instagram: @nedratawwab Website: https://NedraTawwab.com Michelle Instagram: @michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantfanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair

I have heard from so many of you that wanted more information on Sex Addiction so I decided to have my friend and sex addiction specialist Abbe Barclay on. Abbe is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Abbe is a wealth of information and didn't hold back on today's show. We discussed how sex addiction develops, porn addiction, masturbation, if recovery is possible for sex addicts and if so, what the recovery is as well as how you can best support a sex addict and so much more. This show is filled with valuable information all about sex addiction and one not to be missed if you or someone you love suffers with this addiction. https://www.abbebarclaycounseling.com/ https://theadultchair.com/events The Adult Chair Charlotte Jan 30-Feb 1 Connect with Michelle: https://theadultchair.com/membership/ https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ2buoRyaYIjuBugJqwKzDw https://www.pinterest.co.uk/michellechalfanttheadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Happy New Year! I thought long and hard about this kick off show and know how so many of us strive for big change in the New Year but in my experience, small changes lead to big impact. In December I fell upon a book (it actually felt like it jumped off the shelf to me), :) that I have read several times. It's a classic book that you might have read as it came out in 1997. The book is: The 4 Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. I leafed through the book again and a light bulb moment happened. These agreements are key concepts in The Adult Chair AND provide HUGE shifts when applied consistently. So I thought to myself..."THIS is what people need to apply for transformation". The 4 agreements are essential for anyone's transformation so today I am reviewing what they are and how you can start applying them TODAY and experience immediate change in your own life. https://theadultchair.com/events The Adult Chair Charlotte-January 30 -Feb 1 https://theadultchair.com/membership The Adult Chair Membership https://audibletrial.com/Theadultchair The 4 Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom Don Miguel Ruiz Connect with Michelle: https://theadultchair.com/membership/ https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ2buoRyaYIjuBugJqwKzDw https://www.pinterest.co.uk/michellechalfanttheadultchair/ *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We made it through the holidays! How are you feeling...Drained, relieved, elated? Now is the best time to "clean yourself off" and today and get yourself ready for the New Year. In today's show I explain a bit about how we can be dysfunctionally connected to others and don't even know it. I let you know how you can tell and exactly how you can "cut those cords". Even if we don't have a dysfunctional relationship, it's still important to keep yourself "clean" energetically and to cut the cords with people we know and love so each time we show up with them, they see us as who we are TODAY and not as they knew us from the past. Today at the end of the show, I offer you a guided meditation that walks you through exactly how to keep yourself "cleaned off" and to cut the cords if necessary. This is a wonderful end of year ceremony but can certainly be done year round. The Adult Chair Event-Charlotte https://theadultchair.com/events The Adult Chair-website https://theadultchair.com

In a word, victim energy is just plain yucky. We fall into victim when we least expect it and "think" it feels good. We feel like we deserve to feel this way, we have been wronged for goodness sake...and then we wake up. In today's show I share with you a personal experience I had, where I feel into that victim energy, not once but twice! It felt deserving and great until I woke up to truth, to what was real. It was a wonderful experience as it taught me a lot about victim energy and how sneaky it can be. I give you a few ideas on how to get out of the seat of the victim (located squarely in the Adolescent Chair), and most importantly, that we need to choose to be conscious and make choices that empower us and not disempower us. I hope you enjoy my story (aka-drama) that I fell into and get a good laugh. I now can laugh at myself as well and see the whole experience as a gift. This is an energy I feel very familiar with now and plan not to visit there anytime soon. :) The Adult Chair -Charlotte January 30-Feb 1st https://theadultchair.com/events The Adult Chair Membership TAC Tribe https://theadultchair.com/membership

Today on the show we have Patti Elledge back again to talk about how we can heal our early developmental wounds, attachment wounds, trauma, abuse and more by working with the wisdom of the body. This is not a show about "body work," but instead a show about how we learn to feel our emotions, our felt sense and use our body as a navigation system for healing old wounding. If we don't pay attention to our body, our old wounding lays stuck or dormant in the body. With increased awareness to the body you would be amazed at the healing that can happen. Patti also speaks to us about the Polyvagel system of the body and how nervous system regulation (and getting out of fight/flight) is necessary for true healing. Get ready for this show, it's packed with information for your own healing journey. The Adult Chair workshop https://theadultchair.com/events Somatic Mentoring Course https://Somanticmentoring.com Patti Elledge podcast on Attachment theory https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/111-patti-elledge-teaches-us-how-to-heal-our-attachment-wounds/

Ah the holidays, what a wonderful time of year. The rushing around the shopping the preparing of food the obligations to attend all the parties. It's a codependents nightmare! By the time the first week of January hits we are wiped out and in bed with fatigue from all the caretaking and controlling we did during the holidays. It can be exhausting for us codependents! In today's show, I give you tools and tips for staying "in your own lane" during the holidays and all year long. It's a mini codependents reference guide in today's show. I share with you all about the fatigue, anger, resentment, anxiety and even depression we can get if we are not "careful codependents". There is a way to make it through the holidays in a healthy way and today I give you numerous tips to do just that. From boundaries (and how to set them), dealing with narcissism, in laws, how to self soothe when we are triggered and how to stay connected to your Self (intentional capital S here). You see there is a big difference between our Self and self. Our "self" (small s) is the self that wears a mask to please everyone else. Our "Self" is the Self that knows who we are and strives to live authentically. Lots of information in today's show for you. Remember, life is a journey, an adventure. Don't cling to anything, to any labels (even codependency). See parts like codependency instead as indicators of what we need to give our attention to (temporarily), to keep ourselves healthy and to aid in our transformation. That's it! https://theadultchair.com/events Charlotte, NC event January 30-Feb 1