Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Kristin MacDermott is the creator of the Four Family Meetings program. This approach allows families and the individuals within them to begin with a positive perspective through storytelling, move on to the essential topic of handling conflict, explore the importance of boundaries, and strengthen a sense of belonging. You can learn more about Kristin’s work here: https://www.macdermottmethod.com/resilientfamilystrategies.com.  You can contact Kristin here: kristin@kristinmacdermott.com.You can learn more about the Purposeful Planning Institute here: https://purposefulplanninginstitute.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

In improvisation, “yes, and” is the idea that one person makes a statement and then – whatever it is – the next person affirms it and then builds on it. That concept has been applied to communication. I talked about “Yes, and” in communication back in Episode 24, published on June 12, 2019. Would “no, and” lead to a more thoughtful conversation than “no, but”? Does it sound less like a reflexive way to tone down a rejection? Less of an automatic response that shuts down further discussion. It's worth a try.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

From a conflict perspective, what was the point of airing the dirty laundry in Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare? Telling your own side of a story is a very common desire.  Perhaps his intention is to raise his standing (and Meghan’s) in the court of public opinion – which may be working or may be backfiring. Harry has said that he is open to a better relationship with his family. There may be a worse way to promote reconciliation than a gossipy memoir showcasing bad behavior by everyone else.  But it is difficult to think of what it would be.Speaking of the family …. So far, it seems that silence is their official response.  Silence can provide a positive contrast when someone else appears to be acting undignified.  Perhaps Harry simply wants to take advantage of the opportunity – which may be fleeting – to make as much money as he can.Of course, most of us don’t have the opportunity to air family dirty laundry with that sort of splash.  If we do choose to air dirty family laundry, we risk doing real damage to family relationships and to our own image.  If you need to talk it out, doing so privately greatly reduces those risks. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

David Tate is the author, along with Marianne Pantalon and Daryn David, of Conscious Accountability: Deepen Connections, Elevate Results. We talk about expanded awareness, deliberate intentions, informed actions, and being responsible for our impact.You can learn more about his work Conscious Growth Partners here: https://consciousgrowthpartners.com/. Connect with David on LinkedIn here:https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-c-tate-780683/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Last week, I was certain – if you looked – that you could find some successes with conflict in 2022. This week, I am equally confident that you can build on your strengths in 2023. For example, it may be that you are quite good at welcoming varied perspectives. Or you enjoy ensuring regular communications – even when there is no particular news to share. Perhaps you are comfortable speaking calmly in a tense group setting and encouraging others to take a breath before speaking out in a way they may regret. Or you can talk privately, without too much judgment, to someone who is about to – or already has – become embroiled in a nasty conflict. You may even be a person who can suggest to everyone that you all could get better at communication and handling conflict. And to make it a priority.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

I invite you to look back on the year and see what you did well, what you did right, regarding conflict. The positives can take a range of forms. There may have been a very good conflict: a situation in which tough issues were grappled with. A little tougher to see is the potential bad conflict that was avoided. A conflict may have been negative – yet less damaging than it could have been. If a conflict erupted that did do damage, did you find ways to repair that? Or to figure out how to avoid that damage in the future?  Do you feel more competent and confident about handling conflict than you did at the beginning of the year? Each of us can find something positive about how we dealt with conflict in 2022.  When we find it, we need to celebrate it.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Stephen McGarvey is the author Ignite a Shift: Engaging Minds, Guiding Emotions, and Driving Behavior. We discuss motivation, the importance of being understood, and the impact of certain words. Plus, I ask Stephen this question:  “Why is this not creepy and manipulative?" Listen to our conversation to hear his response. You can learn more about Stephen’s work and the book at http://solutionsinmind.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Author and speaker John C. Maxwell is credited with coining this phrase: “Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality.” It’s usually more difficult to change reality than to change our expectations. In circumstances of interpersonal conflict, change is often the key piece in expectation. We should take a moment to look – realistically – at aspects of a desired change to understand what change genuinely can be expected. If we consider our expectations with care – and distinguish them from our hopes and dreams – we may avoid unnecessary disappointment.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Josh Patrick is a business consultant who has learned from – and continues to learn from – personal experience and work with clients, as well as reading, writing, speaking, and podcasting about the challenges business owners face.Business owners can face internal conflicts – engaging in behaviors that don’t serve them well. I talk with Josh about failing fast and failing cheap, the value of small experiments, and more.Josh’s weekly podcast is Cracking the Cash Flow Code.  You can sign up for his weekly newsletter and learn more about his work here: https://www.sustainablebusiness.co/ . You can contact Josh directly here:jpatrick@stage2planning.comDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

When you have an infrequent in-person conversation, think back to it. How did it go? Most important, what can you do now to follow up to improve that relationship? What can you do to increase the odds of positive conflict (creative and collaborative) in the future?If you had a good talk, seize on that! Follow up with a visit, phone call, text, email, or even an old-fashioned letter or card. Mental telepathy does not count. On the flip side, if it didn’t go well – consider reaching out to repairwhat you can.  If you were surprised by how well you got along with someone, perhaps you should share that. Probably the other person was surprised, too. Revisit that fun moment. When we gather in-person infrequently, we can help strengthen good relationships, build new ones, and repair damaged ones if we follow-up soon after – making the most of the time we spent together. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.