Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Deena Chochinov’s work in the areas of family therapy and organizational development gives her an unusual and especially helpful perspective for her work as an advisor to family enterprises. Her professional experiences over the course of thirty years inform her insights in her recently published book, HomeWork: How to Be a Leader in the Boardroom and the Living Room. You can learn more about the book and her work here: https://www.deenachochinov.com/.  Connect with Deena on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deenachochinov/ .Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Rendezvous is the annual gathering of the Purposeful Planning Institute (PPI). It’s “the most professionally diverse gathering of its kind and brings together professionals representing more than 20 disciplines for collaborative dialogue, keynotes, and breakout sessions centered on family dynamics, governance, collaboration, philanthropy and personal development and growth” according to the PPI website. The organization includes over 450 members, representing more than 20 disciplines, including lawyers, wealth managers, trust officers, planned giving experts, psychologists and therapists, and family wealth advisors. Despite all these differences, Rendezvous demonstrated an absence of negative conflict. How? A commitment to collaboration, a nonjudgmental tenor, and a welcoming atmosphere – by design and by culture.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Compromising appears right in the middle of an imaginary image of two axes showing degrees of assertiveness and cooperativeness because it is moderate, not extreme, with regard to both of those characteristics. Compromising gives partial satisfaction to both parties. It may mean splitting the difference between two ideal outcomes or seeking a quick middle-ground way to reach an agreement. Less work than collaborating, and less satisfaction, too. It might be 50/50 or some other distribution. When collaboration is successful under the TKI model, both parties are able to achieve what they want.The TKI model is not set up to mandate – or even suggest – that one mode is always the right one or the wrong one. The model, at its core, can help us discover which ones we might use more and which ones we might use less – to our benefit. Learn more at: https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Jack Wofford: mediator? Facilitator? Does he help with conflicts? Disputes? Issues? Disagreements?  We talk about what’s in a name and the four essential elements in the work that he does.You can reach Jack at johnwofford@earthlink.net and learn more about his work at https://www.mediate.com/mediator-profile/?uid=29258Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

The TKI describes five different approaches to conflict. And those five are always available to each of us. They are accommodating, avoiding, collaborating, competing, and compromising.   Visualize a vertical axis of assertiveness, the extent to which someone tries to satisfy their own needs. Along the horizontal axis, the degree of cooperativeness is shown: that is the extent to which a person tries to satisfy the other person’s needs. Avoiding appears on the bottom right of the image – very low on assertiveness and, also, very low on cooperativeness. Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative, landing at the opposite spot, diagonally, across the image.The TKI model does not suggest that one style is always better than another. Instead, the point is to better understand what we do well and what we do often. And then to consider how well our approaches to conflict are serving us.Learn more here: https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

The TKI describes five different approaches to conflict. And those five are always available to each of us. They are accommodating, avoiding, collaborating, competing, and compromising. Competing is power-driven, with a focus on one’s own needs at the expense of the other person’s. Accommodating is the polar opposite: putting someone else’s needs above one’s own. Neither is always the right approach, nor always the wrong one.  The value of the TKI is helping you understand which modes you tend to use, which you use best, and considering whether you are underusing or overusing any of them. Learn more at:  https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Jennifer Fraser, PhD, set out to learn all she could about bullying and healing a brain damaged by it. She was motivated by the experience her teenage son endured, and the memories of her teen years that his experience brought back to her.The result is a book that surveys brain research in this area, outdated myths, and societal trends.  Equally important, Jennifer shares hopeful and practical ideas that can help individuals heal themselves. You can learn more about the book and Jennifer’s work here: https://www.bulliedbrain.com/ You can reach her through the website or here:jenniferfraserphd@gmail.com. Find her on Twitter here: @teachingbullies Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

More than nine million copies of the TKI assessment have been sold since it was introduced in the mid- 1970s, according to the Kilmann Diagnostics website: https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/assessments/thomas-kilmann-instrument-one-assessment-person/ The tool isn’t black or white and doesn’t label conflict is bad. In fact, it calls conflict “neutral”. https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/faqs/The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument describes five different approaches to conflict. And those five are always available to each of us. They are accommodating, avoiding, collaborating, competing, and compromising.  I have named them in alphabetical order, in an attempt to honor the tool’s advice to use the mode that fits best for a given situation, while remaining open to switching another if the situation changes. In upcoming episodes, I will describe them and allow listeners to think about how they currently use them and how they may shift.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Making choices about just how much conflict to address can lead to better outcomes than stopping before you start or setting up for a sense of failure. We can feel overwhelmed -- and fearful -- about estate planning, as my guest last time, Paul Hood, discussed. An internal conflict. It helps to recognize that it will take time and that changes can be made down the road. And almost any decision is better than none. Doing nothing invites conflict in your surviving family.  Trying to make a difficult relationship perfect is unrealistic – instead, try to make it better. When a family has multiple concerns to address, it’s best to handle critical ones first. Outside of a crisis, try for a “win” where the family can experience success. Attempting to solve everything at once is a lot to ask. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Paul Hood has written extensively about estate planning for many years – books, articles, and more. Many have been full of insights for professionals. Earlier this year, Paul’s book on estate planning geared for lay people was published. Yours, Mine, and Ours – estate planning for people in blended or stepfamilies.  Among other topics, Paul covers the common fears that can stop people from starting the estate planning process or get them off track after they start.We also discuss how ongoing conversations can help families and their advisors be more successful in creating and executing estate plans.  Learn more about Paul’s work, find free resources, and order his books at:https://paulhoodservices.com/ Contact Paul at: paul@paulhoodservices.comDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.