Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Cognitive biases represent shortcuts in our thinking and how we reach conclusions. You can learn about Overcoming confirmation bias in Episode 129, published on June 16, 2021. Managing availability bias is the topic of Episode 143, published on September 22, 2021. And Episode 176, published on May 11, 2022, is about Implicit Bias and the Implicit Association Test. There are plenty of other biases. Today, a few words about salience bias. In this context, salience means how prominent or emotionally striking something is.For example, let’s assume I have a friend who is very easy going – almost always.  Then, one day, that friend skewers me for something I did that the friend feels to be terribly wrong. My view is that I may have made a minor goof (I do make my fair share, after all), but I am not sure I did this time. Salience bias can lead me to build this one incident out of so many into a major blow-up that obscures all the positive interactions we have had -- and can have in the future if the relationship is not derailed by this single and singular experience. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

We are now coming into the time of year for traditional family gatherings. For many years, these in-person celebrations have been the time to tackle difficult conversations and make important decisions. Lots of families are coming together this season for the first time since 2019. In the depth of the pandemic, remarkable lessons came out of our need to shift away from in-person gatherings to online group conversations and meetings.Prioritize human connections when gathering in-person – whatever time of year.  Take advantage of the benefits of periodic, online meetings. That’s especially true when negative conflict may erupt.We are in a time when we can reset for the better – we can make changes that will serve our families better.  And encourage more positive conflicts – the creative and collaborative kind – and fewer of the negative and destructive ones. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Going along to get along can be a good idea – sometimes. When you find yourself giving in – accommodating in Thomas-Kilmann theory – too often, you might stop and think about that. Do you not care about the outcome of a decision? Are you afraid to speak your mind? Are you going to be silenced by your own choice to not speak up? Will you become resentful about always being the one to “sacrifice”? These questions are especially important in the context of an ongoing, valued relationship.We can all get better at handling conflict, including going along to get along when it makes sense – and not doing it when it doesn’t.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Amanda Holmes, daughter of the renowned sales strategist Chet Holmes, was 24 when she inherited her father’s vast business interests and his legacy – with no preparation of any kind. We talk about her journey over the last ten years as she grew into her role as CEO by following her instincts, developing her skills and self-confidence, and charting a path that builds on the past with her own vision for the future. We discuss her update of her father's celebrated book, The Ultimate Sales Machine. It is available at https://www.ultimatesalesmachine.com/, where you will find bonus resources not available if you buy the book on Amazon. Amanda also talked about the How to Double Your Sales Quiz. You can find it here: https://chetholmes.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Just last week, I was in a conversation  about the key question for a would-be podcaster. Why do you want to do this? I had a clear answer to that question in 2018 during Seth Godin’s podcasting workshop (7 intensive weeks and 35 lessons) and my answer is the same in 2022, on Episode 200. But, I am not the same. I continue to learn from my experiences – and from my podcast guests. There is plenty more to explore in the podcast. I want to help people see a perspective on conflict that is practical and positive.  I wanted then and want today to push back against the idea that conflict is always negative. I want to help people see conflict differently – which is why I have had (and will continue to have) a wide range of guests who have insights to share.  I want to share ideas that I have learned through my own reading, speaking, study groups, and experiences with individuals and families. And I want to convince others of this deeply-held belief: we can all get better at handling conflict.A big thank you to my guests and to the Old Hands who offer encouragement, wisdom, and technical skills. And, most of all, thank you to all of you who listen. I wouldn’t do it without you.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Working throughout the United States, The Community Relations Service (CRS) is part of the Department of Justice. And not as well-known a part as it might be. CRS works with communities to prevent and respond to alleged hate crimes based on actual or perceived race, color, national origin, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, or disability.CRS calls itself “America’s Peacemaker”  for “communities in conflict by mediating disputes and enhancing community capacity to independently prevent and resolve future conflicts.”You can learn more and contact CRS for assistance at their website: https://www.justice.gov/crsDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Unofficial veto power is the idea that one person (or, less frequently, a small subset of a group) has the power to stop progress.  And that power is not granted to them by the rest of the group, any document, or cultural norm. “Progress” is a broad term, here. It’s allowing the group to make – or even consider—decisions. In some type of rational fashion. It’s abiding by decisions that are made. That veto power can be exerted in a variety of ways: from refusing to participate in the process, to leaving a meeting in progress, to insisting on more and more information, to denigrating every suggestion made. What to do about it?First, be on the lookout for this behavior; avoid being solely focused on the issues to be addressed. Second, don’t let too many small incursions slide; that can worsen the situation. Third, challenge the use of unofficial veto power; firmly and politely.  All of these actions are easier for an outside professional with no stake in the outcome, but if that’s not an option it is likely still worth the effort.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

While serving as an Army colonel in Afghanistan, Chris Kolenda motivated a large insurgent group to switch sides. We talk about that experience and the new edition of his book, Leadership: The Warrior’s Art, a collection of pieces by military leaders. The book has insights for all sorts of organizations and group. Chris notes that there’s really no such thing as military leadership: it’s all leadership and it’s always dealing with people.You can learn more about Chris’s work at  https://strategicleadersacademy.com/, and contact him here: chris@strategicleadersacademy.com  At the time this episode is published, Chris is on a 1700 mile bike ride, the Fallen Hero Honor Ride.You can find out how to support that project here: https://sabersixfoundation.com/ or through Chris’s company’s website, above.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Many thought that the Queen was too slow to respond to Diana’s death. When she finally did, she minimized the conflict by speaking eloquently and by nodding her head as Diana’s casket passed by. As a ruling monarch, she received respect routinely and wasn’t expected to make her own demonstrations of it.She made a distinction between family and business with Prince Andrew. Allegations (though denied) and friendships (impossible to deny) led to his expulsion from The Firm, but not the family.Prince Harry could either enjoy the privileges and benefits of a working Royal full-time or not. He couldn’t have it both ways.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Queen Elizabeth has been widely appreciated for her life of service. Though most family business leaders aren’t royal monarchs, her approach has lessons that many can learn. Among them: she started early in her devotion to service (even before she was head of The Firm); she worked hard; she kept her own counsel; she was engaged with her “customers” and did not think them to be lesser; she had a sense of humor; and she planned her own succession carefully.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.