Lessons from a Quitter

My biggest tip for success when you’re quitting and starting something new: Get in the room with people doing the thing you want to do.⁠ This week, I talk about the benefits of surrounding yourself with a like-minded community and a few ways to find those groups.

Here’s what everyone gets wrong about work/life balance.    You run around trying to change everything outside of you in order to try to gain a little “balance”.  If I worked less hours… If I had more time at home with my kids…. If I could spend some time resting...then I’d feel balanced.    But what happens as soon as you try to do those things?   Your brain ruins it.   You're at home with the kids and you’re constantly anxious about how much work you still have to finish.   You’re laying down to rest and you’re berating yourself for not getting up to run all of your errands.    You’re trying to focus on your work deadline and you’re feeling guilty about missing your son’s soccer practice.    It’s no wonder you’re exhausted all of the time.    You cannot have balance until you learn that your worth is not attached to your productivity.   You cannot have balance until you learn that you deserve rest even when you have a full to-do list.   You cannot have balance until you learn that you’ll never be perfect and it’s ok to stop trying.    Until you can manage your brain to drop all the guilt and shame, there is no magic formula that will create balance for you because you’ll constantly be telling yourself you’re doing it wrong.   This week on the podcast, I dive into how you can finally start working towards having some real balance in your life. 

This week I want to talk to you about Mom Guilt. Fair warning that I’m not sure if I have my thoughts fully formed on this but I think this is an important topic to discuss. Also, while I talk a lot about moms, the same ideas apply to all of us dealing with a misogynistic, patriarchal society. Over the past seven years, I've been really observing how moms are constantly put in lose-lose situations. Whether at work or at home, we're made to feel as though we're always failing. And, unfortunately, we internalize those thoughts and use them against ourselves. While systemic change is absolutely needed, if we don't liberate ourselves from our own thoughts that keep us in shame and guilt, we'll never be able to go after the lives we deserve. One of the biggest blessings of thought work for me is that I no longer operate from a place of shame and I give myself incredible amounts of self-compassion. So for all the moms and the non-moms, I just want you to understand that you can lift that burden of the should’s and really check in with what you want to do. And the more we do that, the more we show the next generation and our peers that it's okay to show up fully as yourself and still be a kick-ass mom. So let's dive in.

In this week’s episode, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jordan Ramsey. Jordan’s wife, Shannon, is a student of mine and enrolled in the Impossible Goal Setting workshop back in January. Little did she know, Jordan was eavesdropping on all of the lessons. Jordan took what he learned in that workshop and began implementing in his life to go after all of his dreams. Since then, he has self-published two books, launched a Kickstarter campaign for a board game he created with his childhood best friend, and recently got promoted at work! Jordan is the perfect example of how changing your mindset can change your life.  In this episode, we talk about what shifted for him through the Goal Setting workshop to allow him to overcome that fear of failure and start going after all of his dreams.  Make sure to check out Jordan here: His Boardgame’s Kickstarter Campaign: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/bountyrush/bounty-rush Website: www.tophatgeeks.com  Instagram: @jordannotgordonramsey and @bountyrushgame

It’s been 3 years since I launched this podcast (WAHOOOOO!) Hindsight is an interesting thing. It’s obvious now that I made the “right” choice to publish the podcast I had been thinking about for 2 years. I now have an amazing community and business I love.  But I remember the week before I hit publish...I couldn’t sleep. I cried every single day. I thought I was going to throw up.  These were the thoughts I had playing on loop: “This is insane.” “Everyone’s going to judge you.” “Who are you to put out a podcast?!” “You have no idea what you’re doing.” “Do you want to be branded a ‘quitter’ for the rest of your life?!”  “You’re going to regret this.” I was terrified. I wanted to change my mind. I hadn’t published it yet. It wasn’t too late to scrap the whole crazy idea.  Well, I didn’t. And I’m so grateful to past me for feeling like I was going to die and hitting publish anyway.  It’s been an amazing 3 years and I can’t wait to see what the next 3 years brings.  Since we’re all about lessons over here, this week on the podcast I go into the 3 biggest lessons I’ve learned from 3 years in podcasting. 

Catastrophizing is when you assume the worst will always happen.  Listen, it’s normal. Your brain is trying to keep you alive. And if it can anticipate all the things that could go wrong, it can keep you safe. Your brain loves to replace the uncertain with the awful.   But, in our modern world, you’re not at risk of dying all the time. It just ain’t that serious.  So you need to learn how to get a handle on that doomsday brain of yours if you’re ever going to do anything worthwhile.  In this episode, I give you simple steps to overcome your catastrophizing so you can get out and experience this world!

This week on the podcast, we dive into one of the most crucial life-skills we’re never taught. Handling criticism. If you instantly get defensive, angry or hurt when someone points out a “flaw”, this episode is for you. I take you through my step-by-step process to understand why you get defensive and how to get over it.   

So many of you are stuck because your parents, friends, or co-workers simply don’t understand why you want to take this “risk”.    Here’s the truth: They don’t have to support you. And you still get to make the decision you want for your life.    Would it be nice if everyone saw the world the way you did and could fully understand your dreams? Yes, of course it would be.   Do you need that before you actually take the jump? Absolutely not.   The real reason you feel like you need their support is because if they believe in you, it’s easier for YOU to believe in YOU.    When other people express doubt, it triggers the fear and insecurity you already have in this big decision. So you become defensive and spend all of your energy trying to convince them it’s the right choice.    But what you’re really doing is trying to convince yourself. If someone else can see your vision, then it helps reassure that part of your brain that is also screaming “This is insane! We’re going to regret it!”   They don’t have to understand what you want to do. YOU have to understand what you want to do. They don’t have to believe in you. You have to believe in you.    You will still have doubt. Hell, you can even agree with them that it’s a crazy decision. And you still get to make it.    If you struggle with this, this week’s podcast is for you. I dive deeper into this concept and explain how you can start moving past needing everyone’s support. 

So many of you ask me how to navigate family and spousal support when making huge changes in your career.    I figured it might be interesting to hear it from the spouse’s perspective.    While our experience is unique to us, I think it can help you in approaching these subject.s   In this episode, we talk about.  What his experience was of me walking away from my legal career  How he thought the podcast was the wrong move for me (WHAT?!?)  How I stopped seeking his permission and instead asked for what I needed.  The best part of this journey.  And so much more. 

So many of us are paralyzed at making even the simplest decisions.  We revert to asking everyone else's opinions, we ruminate and drain ourselves going back and forth, we make pros and cons lists, and we stay stuck year after year.  In this episode, I teach you why you have such a hard time making decisions and how to move past it.