Lessons from a Quitter

I remember wishing I would get laid off during the 2008 recession. I was to scared to quit so I wanted them to force my hand. Empowering, huh? They didn't. And I ended up spending another 7 years doing a job I hated. On this episode, I talk about what it looks like to take responsibility for your life. Often we mistake responsibility with fault. They are not the same thing. In this episode, I talk about difference between fault and responsibility, why taking 100% responsibility will change your life, and how to go about doing that. 

Why do you want to find your “dream” career? Do you even know? Most would answer with something like:So I can feel excited and motivated about going to work.  So I can feel like I’m doing something that is worthwhile. So I can feel less stressed and overwhelmed. All of our answers boil down to one thing: we are after a feeling.  Ultimately, you want that dream career because you want to feel happy and fulfilled.  Given that we spend ⅓ of our life at work, it’s easy to see how that can affect our feelings.  And while I’d LOVE for you to find your dream career (and would love to help you do that), it’s not going to happen overnight.  So the question becomes: how can you have that feeling you want in your life right now? And that's what we dive into on the podcast episode today! I'll give you actionable tips on how to create a fulfilled life without changing much else. 

Destination Addiction. The constant striving to get to some destination that you’re certain holds all of your happiness and the solution to your problems.  The stealer of current joy. The enabler of hustle culture. So many of our problems are born out of this, often unconscious, belief that it is better “there” than here. We put our happiness and joy on hold with the promise that it will be even better at this unforeseen destination. And, yet, we just keep moving the goalposts.  On today’s episode, I dive into just how harmful destination addiction is and how to overcome it.  Also mentioned on today’s episode: A FREE 4-day challenge to get you UNSTUCK and on the road to your dream career. Register here: www.quitterclub.com/unstuck

On to today's episode. I want to talk to you about an extremely important concept that I don't think most people don't implement in their life. It's called the Compound Effect. What most of us typically do is pick a huge goal, go after it with everything we have, get burned out, and stop. Understanding the Compound Effect will change all of that. It'll allow you to start making lasting changes without all of the effort and drama. It is the difference between having a life where you can constantly grow and one in which you won't.  In this episode, I go into what the Compound Effect is and how to start implementing it into your life today. 

I'm so excited to bring you this week's episode with the amazing Janelle Nicole Christian. After nearly 6 years in BigLaw, Janelle transitioned into the career and digital media field through her company, SideBiz SMART, and her platform, Hey J. Nicole. Janelle's mission is to help 6-figure employees start and stabilize successful side businesses in order to ditch corporate America and begin living healthier, wealthier, and more fulfilled lives as entrepreneurs. After scaling her business to multiple six-figures in under a year and helping her clients do the same, Janelle's work focuses on helping miserable millennials understand the value in decentralizing work (particularly corporate structures) and building a life around their personal priorities, gain clarity on their values, address and remove limiting beliefs regarding income and success, create a clear plan to define their life work, and guides them through any necessary pivots towards their dreams. In this episode, we discuss: - how Janelle discovered what really lights her up. - why it's important to just get started, even if you don't know what you want to do. - how she replaced her legal income in less than a year. - and so much more.

This week I have a super exciting topic that completely changed the way I thought. It's the concept of clean pain versus dirty pain, and it really helped me manage my mindset. This topic, which was first coined by Dr. Stephen Hayes, described the suffering we add to our human experience. We constantly make up narratives about ourselves that cause all of this unnecessary self-inflicted pain. It is crucial to understand when you’re doing this so you can stop it. Join me as I dive deeper into this topic and discuss ways you can work around it.

This week I'm finally addressing one of the biggest blocks for most people: Overcoming The Fear of What Others Think. There is a reason that so many of keep falling into patterns of doing what others expect of us even if it makes us miserable. We're evolutionarily wired to want to be accepted by our tribe. But while it is natural it doesn't mean we have to keep living this way. In this episode, I break down how to push past the fear of what other people think about you and start living a life on your own terms.

Want to know the secret to my success? I stopped pretending that I had it all together. The more I share my mistakes, my failures, my insecurities, the more people are attracted to me. The more I stop pretending like I have it all together, the more I allow myself to show up exactly as I am. The more I show up and take imperfect action, the more successful I become. There is a reason that “vulnerability” and “authenticity” are such buzzwords right now. We’re all sick of curated. We’re all sick of perfect. We crave more humanness. Just think about the people you follow online. Do you love following people who act like they have it all figured out, are breezing through life, and have no problems?!? I’m guessing no. It’s boring and fake. We love following people who share their struggles. Who show us that they’re just figuring it out just like the rest of us. And, yet, so many of you are still stuck trying to look perfect in your lives. Trying to pretend like you have it all together at work. Trying to portray that you’re not struggling with parenthood. Trying to put on a brave face. I want you to know that perfect is boring. Nobody wants perfect. Be human. Let people in. It’ll lighten the load and make the experience so much more fun.  

This week's episode is all about doing difficult things. Somewhere along the line, a lot of us adopted the mistaken belief that there is an easy way to have our dream life. But that's false, there are no shortcuts.     When we adopt that mentality, we end up making it so much harder on ourselves. We fall short on certain goals, or we bypass certain milestones because we're hyperfocused on having an easy life. But hard things challenge us to grow and learn and live a life far beyond ourselves. We can do hard things, stop wishing your way out of them.

By far, the #1 question I get asked is some version of: “I hate my job but I have no idea what else I would do. How do I find some clarity?!” I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that no one can give you a clear answer to that question. Because what you’re really saying is: “I’ve lost touch with who I really am. I’ve done what I was supposed to do and found myself unhappy. I feel lost and don’t know how to get back to what I truly want.”  The clarity you’re looking for can’t come from outside of you. The answer isn’t in some online assessment. It has to come from within. It only comes from getting a better understanding of who you are when you aren’t trying to please everyone else or look perfect.   But here is the good news: Doing the work to find clarity in what you want to do with your life will change every single aspect of it. It will bring you back to yourself. It’ll lead to more self-compassion, self-trust, and self-acceptance. It will help you stop the self-sabotage that will otherwise continue to ruin your life. It will give you control over your own internal state so you’re not at the mercy of reacting to everyone and everything around you.  It will let you show up as the full, flawed human that you are so you can experience all that there is in this life. What more important work is there?! So don’t go for the easy answer. Take the time to find out who you truly are and do it on purpose.  This week in the podcast, I go more in-depth into how to start discovering clarity in what you truly want.