Nope! We're Not Monogamous

In today’s episode, I'm sharing with you a recent workshop I did on taming the green eyed monster, jealousy. I'm talking to you about the overwhelming primal fear that takes over when you're feeling jealous and how to work through it without blowing up your relationships in the process, going from panic to calm and rational from feeling sure that you're being betrayed to feeling confidence and inner peace. You will get  loads of resources and nuggets so you can learn from my experience.I made a lot of mistakes in my relationships and in my journey from monogamy to non monogamy. I believe that I made them so that I can teach you the right way to do it because you shouldn't have to repeat my mistakes. 💨 TLDR;:45- What Jealousy Feels Like9:32- A Life Without Jealousy17:00- Jealousy vs Envy25:29- The First Step36:02- Tricks Your Brain Plays40:34- Stopping the Cycle❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.📚 Books mentioned: ● Polysecure by Jessica Fern📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Conquering Jealousy in Non Monogamy a 6 week journey👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In today’s episode I have the pleasure of speaking with Evelin Dacker.  We have a juicy conversation on creating sexual safety in non-monogamy.  She tackles the most asked questions from my listeners on STIs, new relationship energy and she breaks down STARS, and how she uses it to create healthy relationships and communication around sex.Evelin Dacker is a sex-positive Integrative Family Medicine physician. She is active in creating a safe space for LGBTQIA youth and adults and helping people through illness, trauma, and life transitions towards finding balance and joy. In addition to practicing medicine, Evelin created the safer sex communication model STARS to help facilitate open and honest sex conversations. She is a consent and sex educator, sexual health activist and TEDx speaker (on STARS).💨 TLDR;2:19- Polyamory6:24- New Relationship Energy and Poly9:46- S.T.A.R.S.26:58- STIs39:20- Sex Positive Doctors42:48- Hierarchy in Relationships46:06- Owning Yourself❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Evelin... www.Maketimeforthetalk.comwww.Evelindacker.comTedx Talk on STARS📚 Books mentioned: “Polysecure”, by Jessica Fern“All About Love”, by Bell Hooks📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In today’s episode I talk with Michael Love. He is the former publisher of ENM Magazine and PDXScene Magazine. Michael fancies himself an ambassador and advocate of Ethical Non-monogamy. Together with his nesting partners, they run a thriving online ENM Support Community that embraces all forms of Ethical Non-Monogamy, and host the ENM Talk Podcast show.  We talk about the spectrum of non-monogamy, what it’s like to be able to celebrate your partner’s relationships, and our journeys to Ethical Non-Monogamy.💨 TLDR;1:44- Finding an ENM Community 4:33- The Different Types of ethical non-monogamy8:25- Working Towards Celebrating Your Partner19:22- Communication22:04- The Spectrum of ethical non-monogamy25:20- Single and Dating vs Not Single and Dating27:15- Becoming ethically non-monogamous30:13- Possession in Relationships35:22- ENM Magazine Journey37:57- ENM Facebook Community❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Map of Non-MonogamyWant to connect with Michael...www.enmtalkpodcast.com https://www.facebook.com/ENMTalkPodcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/enmgroup📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am sharing Part 2 of an amazing conversation I had with Leanne and Greg Million. We continue our conversation with some really juicy sex tips, my enm playlist, and we also talk about how polyamory forces us to learn how to repair relationship ruptures in a way that most of us didn't learn in monogamous relationships. Leanne is a Relationship and Sexuality Coach, with an emphasis on those curious about or practicing poly/CNM, kink and alternative lifestyles. Greg is a relationship and empowerment coach specializing in helping others tap into the strength of their emotional life by supporting and guiding others on their journey of transformation into their most authentic, conscious, vulnerable and loving selves. Their coaching business, EMPOWERED NOW, is a safe space for the LGBTQ2IA+ community and people of all ethnicities, relationship structures and dynamics. 💨 TLDR;1:27- Becoming Non-Monogamous5:18- Rupture and Repair8:56- Polyamory as a Choice16:43- Transparency20:13- ENM and Culture27:30- The Sexiness of Clear Communication37:25- Know Yourself❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with The Millions?Website - gregmillion.com and leannemillion.comIG - @gregmillion.lifecoach and @leannemillionFB - Greg Million and Leanne Million📚 Books mentioned: 5 Sex Languages, by Douglass Weiss🎵ENM Playlist on Spotify📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/           - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine           - Instagram: https://www.instagram.Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am sharing Part 1 of an amazing conversation I had with Leanne and Greg Million. We talk about non monogamy and all of its forms-- the differences between consensual non-monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, solo polyamory, relationship anarchy, swinging, and the real power to be gained with relational autonomy. There's some really beautiful advice for dealing with jealousy and hear what happens when you put three coaches in a room with each other.Leanne is a Relationship and Sexuality Coach, with an emphasis on those curious about or practicing poly/CNM, kink and alternative lifestyles. Greg is a relationship and empowerment coach specializing in helping others tap into the strength of their emotional life by supporting and guiding others on their journey of transformation into their most authentic, conscious, vulnerable and loving selves. Their coaching business, EMPOWERED NOW, is a safe space for the LGBTQ2IA+ community and people of all ethnicities, relationship structures and dynamics. 💨 TLDR;3:25- Relationship Autonomy21:34- Jealousy30:07- CNM or ENM?36.31- Societal Misconceptions41:51- Creating Safety in Non-Monogamy53:14- Defining Your Relationship Style❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with The Millions?Website - www.gregmillion.com and www.leannemillion.comIG - @gregmillion.lifecoach and @leannemillionFB - Greg Million and Leanne Million📚 Books mentioned: Polysecure, by Jessica FernThe Ethical Slut, by Janet Hardy🎵ENM Playlist on Spotify📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/          - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine          - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Credits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

I'm no expert on racism. But I am a person who's always learning and growing and challenging my own internalized racism. I consider this podcast and my other platforms to be absolutely anti-racist. So while this may not be a topic I address very often it is a topic that I feel passionately about. So today I'm sharing a conversation I had with my friend Kyra. Kyra is a solo poly relationship anarchist and a person of color who's passionate about hard cider and social justice. She is a child care and birth worker of color living in Seattle with her two cats and her turtle and in her spare time she grounds herself with reading and nature and loved ones, and is just a phenomenal human being. I'm really excited to share this conversation with you. Enjoy.💨 TLDR;1:36  - What is Relationship Anarchy?3:49  - Deconstructing a religious conservative upbringing9:08  - Dating as a Solo Polyamorous Relationship Anarchist13:52- Misconceptions around polyamory and sexism21:25- Racism and Decolonizing Relationships31:11- Rupture and Repair in relationships40:59- How Racism Effects Relationships52:53- Unlearning Monogamy59:37- Resources for Decolonizing Polyamory❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.📚 Books and resources mentioned: Visit our website for a list of  POC ENM Resources from Kyra📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/           - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine           - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Credits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In today’s episode, I'm talking to Danny, the producer and editor of Nope, We're Not Monogamous, and also one of my partners. He shares the story of how a couple of high school sweethearts from a small town in the Midwest wound up in a committed married polyamorous quad, living in the Pacific Northwest. We talk about how that came about, the challenges that they faced, how they've overcome them and we dig deeper into the role insecurity plays in relationships.💨 TLDR;3:27- From a monogamish relationship to full blown polyamory14:12- Insecurities23:39- Transitioning Relationship Styles31:33- Trust36:17- Group Sex ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/           - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine           - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Credits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

My friend, April Filiczkowski, the Green Goddess Pleasure Queen, and I discuss our previous monogamous marriages and the switch to polyamory after divorce, raising kids in polyamorous households, the myth of happily ever after, and veganism and how it can affect relationships and sex!April helps people live a more pleasurable turned on life by helping them love and honor themselves through food, gardening and sexual liberation. She is passionate about Mother Earth, healthy eating and a healthy balanced sex life. She helps people live a greener, healthier, more abundant life. 💨 TLDR;2:59- Inspiration on dealing with conflict5:21- Past relationships & monogamy11:21- Societal pressures12:17- Family & polyamory14:20- Kids & polyamory18:02- Jealousy & self-worth23:28- Society & polyamory28:27- Veganism24:22- Veganism & sex35:57- Why polyamory❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with the Green Goddess Pleasure Queen…The Green Goddess on FacebookThe Green Goddess on Instagram📚 Books and Resources mentioned:  Layla Martin- Vita InstituteMama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts“Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/           - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine           - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Credits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Krista Kathleen, the author of Beyond The White Picket Fence - Breaking Out of the Life Everyone Expects You to Live, and I chat about her journey into non-monogamy and how it changed over time. We dig into what it means to live authentically regardless of pressures from our family and society to show up as expected.Krista has been coaching women online since 2016 after she got fired from her full time nursing career and divorced all in the same week. She sold her belongings and left the United States to travel all over the world, working and living in 50 different countries. She had her first baby, Lincoln, at home during the pandemic and just published her first book: Beyond the White Picket Fence. Krista plans to open her own life coach certification in fall 2021 and has a goal to train & mentor at least 1,000 life coaches in the next 10 years. 💨 TLDR;2:01- Starting the Non-Monogamy Journey8:59- Battling Jealousy13:39- From an Open Relationship to Polyamory20:13- New Relationship Energy, what is it?23:29- Monogamy as a Choice25:23- Being Open and Authentic35:29- Expectations40:28- Sexual Shame42:06- Children and Non-Monogamy45:37- Safety and Power49:30- Advice for Healthy Relationships❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform. Get in touch with Krista: WebsiteFacebook groupInstagram YouTubeBuy my book📚 Books mentioned: The Ethical Slut by Janet HardyA Woman’s Guide to Power Unbound by Kasia Urbaniak📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/           - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaineSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today we're talking to Katy Alaniz, a poly friendly therapist whose focus is really on helping clients rediscover confidence, sexuality, healing from trauma, and a lot of focus on body image, eating disorder recovery, and also how all of that intersects with relationships. Katy is a cis pansexual demisexual polyamorous woman who is super passionate about treating eating disorders and body image issues. She has a badass 10 year old, a couple of cats, she loves fresh hydrangeas, and good coffee. We have the best conversation with her about her life experiences as a solo polyamorous woman, the lessons that she has learned, and the tools she shares with her clients. 💨 TLDR;2:21- Solo Polyamory6:57- Fear of Non-monogamy11:15- Transition to Polyamory15:43- Parenting and Polyamory20:44- Polyamory as a Choice24:07- Therapy Work28:15- Body Image42:56- Preventative Therapy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 📚 Books mentioned: ● Health at Every SizeSee more Katy!The Wakeful StateIG- @theweightytherapistFB- @thewakefulstate👀 Find Us Online           - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/           - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine           - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Credits- Host: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Executive Producer: Ellecia Paine. Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237