Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Today, I am speaking with Ragnar, the modern viking! He shares with us his Viking longship analogy about relationships and my mind was kind of blown.  We also get into how polyamory helped him break the cycle of abuse and become a much more vulnerable human and his personal journey of identifying as and coming out as a polyamorous person. Ragnar Craigsson is a Trauma-Informed Mindset coach specializing in teaching driven individuals how to choose the most effective behaviors for accomplishing their goals. Ragnar focuses on self-determined behavioral modification through his coaching system, GoingAViking. The GAV coaching system combines ancient wisdom with modern psychology to teach you how to custom design a  mindset capable of Radical Acceptance, Iron Resilience, Post-Traumatic Growth, and Lasting relationships. Ragnar is a proud Solo-Polyamorous LGBTQIA+ Ally sapiophile and part of the kink/BDSM community. He has extensive experience with interpersonal trauma, and uses that experience combined with rigorous self-study to help others dealing with the same adversity to laugh through the storm and be less alone on the other side of their journey. Ragnar also lives a Modern Viking Lifestyle, from participating in Viking Age historical reenactment to living each and everyday applying ancient wisdom from the Havamal  he attempts to channel the spirit of the Viking Age into his life and passion for his clients.💨 TLDR;2:31- The Journey to Solo-Poly12:45- Breaking Down Non-Monogamy28:44- Extreme Vulnerability39:46- Your Relationship as a Boat – Entering Non-Monogamy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Ragnar?Instagram: @RagnarthemodernvikingFacebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/RagnarthemodernvikingEmail:ragnarthemodernviking@asgardinvestmentsllc.com📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I'm talking with Crystal Byrd Farmer, a polyamorous speaker and writer from Gastonia, North Carolina. We talked about her book, The Token - Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Diversity in Your Organization, and how to do the work to have more inclusive communities.  Plus loads of good stuff about polyamory, solo poly, BDSM, and more!Crystal is the former website editor of Black and Poly, an online community for black people exploring non monogamy. She also serves as a board member with the foundation for intentional communities and the BIPOC intentional community council. Her book The Token: Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Diversity in Your Organization, is out now. 💨 TLDR;2:32- The Journey from Monogamy to Solo Poly7:57- Naming Your Needs11:06- Kids and Non-monogamy12:33- Creating Equitable Spaces20:52- Being Open to the Uncomfortable27:36- Creating Healthy Relationships❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a 5 star review or a sweet note.Want to connect with Crystal?www.crystalbyrdfarmer.com📚 Books mentioned: The Token, by Crystal Byrd FarmerPolysecure, by Jessica FernCodependent No More, by Melody Beattie📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - WeSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I'm talking to Brooke Underwood, aka Oracle Brooke about the ebbs and flows of relationships as a metaphor for what's going on in each person's natal birth chart and non traditional relationships and the exploratory tendencies that are seen in people's birth charts. This conversation was super fascinating for me as it goes much deeper than anything I've ever talked about or learned in astrology. Brooke Underwood aka Oracle Brooke, is a Master Intuitive Channel, Embodied Astrologist and Spiritual Mentor who has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs and creatives shift limiting unconscious beliefs and inner conflict patterns so they can connect to their intuitive truth and live a life they love. She utilizes the ancient healing arts of Western & Vedic Astrology, Psychic Channeling and Hypnotherapy so her clients can amplify their soul mission while staying in symbiosis with their pure embodiment - in love with their life and business.💨 TLDR;3:42- Birth Chart Commonalities for Non-Monogamists10:25- Where to Start With Your Birth Chart14:27- Discovering Non-Monogamy19:23- Challenges to Opening in Your Birth Chart24:01- Radical Self-Love32:08- Synastry- Couple Charting40:27- Authentic Living❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Brooke?www.brooke-underwood.comhttps://www.instagram.com/brookeunderwoodofficial/📚 Books mentioned: ● Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul, by Jeff Green📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

My guest today is talking about her first ever visit to a sex club, her first ever polyamorous experience as a unicorn, and the biggest lessons she’s learned this last year in her journey to ethical non-monogamy. Kelsie Riffey can be found by day domming the business world, assisting high achieving women and scaling their businesses to seven figures and beyond, and by night you can find her on the middle of the dance floor hips swaying, fully liberated and expressed. 💨 TLDR;2:23- Discovering Non-Monogamy5:40- A Unicorn Story17:56- Balancing Boundaries and New Relationship Energy25:49- Leading One Authentic Life30:39- The Sex Club Experience35:06- First Date Music❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Kelsie?Instagram - @_kelsiecorrine_ 📚 Books mentioned: ● Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook               - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the rSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today, I talk with Deana Tanner about the five main pillars of polyamory: autonomy, personal responsibility, boundaries, effective communication and understanding emotions. We talk about growing up polyamorous, creating healthy relationships, and how to identify what you really want to make informed decisions.  Deana Tanner has taken her 20 years of experience in leadership education and converted it to real world personal growth and development coaching for the queer and polyamorous communities. After starting out her marriage in a form of non-monogamy and radically progressing to full blow polyamory she became keenly aware of not just the lack of healthy relationship standards in the polyamorous and queer communities, but a serious lack of polyamory and queer informed professional services. She firmly maintains that the skills she uses with her clients is merely just the shit we should have learned in school. 💨 TLDR;5:29- Kitchen-table Polyamory10:10- The Role of Resiliency in Relationships14:10- Stepping out of the Monogamy Box18:46- Jealousy and Tools for Coping26:26- Creating Healthy Relationships32:39- Learning What You Really Want37:59- Pillars of Polyamory❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Deana TannerWebsite: https://www.practicalpolyamorycoaching.com/@Practical_Polyamory on TikTokPractical Polyamory Growth Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/877583006185319📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia PSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am talking with Ying Ying Lee.  Ying Ying founded SOP Lifestyle Productions, with a vision to create fun, unique & sensual getaways and vacations where attendees can be comfortable exploring new things and expanding their knowledge and experiences. We talk about her journey to non monogamy, the spectrum from swinging to polyamorous, what happens inside a hotel takeover, and she answers the questions we get asked most frequently about swinger events!SOP stands for Swinger, Open, Poly, and her events are inclusive of everyone in the Lifestyle, from Swinger to Open to Poly to Kink, and more, regardless of ages, gender and backgrounds; singles, couples and more are welcome.  SOP Lifestyle Productions' signature event is a complete hotel Takeover, the Winter Lifestyle Takeover every November and they are expanding their offerings to include the Tropical Lifestyle Takeover, the Summer Lifestyle Takeover, the Europe Lifestyle Takeover, Signature Experiences, Lifestyle Vacations, and other fun lifestyle events in Canada and around the world.💨 TLDR;4:00-The Spectrum of Non Monogamy13:23- Swinging vs Open or Poly17:46- Societal Expectations24:30- Polyamory; Choice or Identity27:26- Hotel Takeover Events4022- Consent and Safety at Lifestyle Events❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Ying Ying Lee?https://swingeropenpoly.com/https://www.facebook.com/SOPLifestyleProductions📚 Books mentioned: ● Ethical Slut, by Janet Hardy📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In today’s episode, I'm sharing with you a recent workshop I did on taming the green eyed monster, jealousy. I'm talking to you about the overwhelming primal fear that takes over when you're feeling jealous and how to work through it without blowing up your relationships in the process, going from panic to calm and rational from feeling sure that you're being betrayed to feeling confidence and inner peace. You will get  loads of resources and nuggets so you can learn from my experience.I made a lot of mistakes in my relationships and in my journey from monogamy to non monogamy. I believe that I made them so that I can teach you the right way to do it because you shouldn't have to repeat my mistakes. 💨 TLDR;:45- What Jealousy Feels Like9:32- A Life Without Jealousy17:00- Jealousy vs Envy25:29- The First Step36:02- Tricks Your Brain Plays40:34- Stopping the Cycle❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.📚 Books mentioned: ● Polysecure by Jessica Fern📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Conquering Jealousy in Non Monogamy a 6 week journey👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they'veSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In today’s episode I have the pleasure of speaking with Evelin Dacker.  We have a juicy conversation on creating sexual safety in non-monogamy.  She tackles the most asked questions from my listeners on STIs, new relationship energy and she breaks down STARS, and how she uses it to create healthy relationships and communication around sex.Evelin Dacker is a sex-positive Integrative Family Medicine physician. She is active in creating a safe space for LGBTQIA youth and adults and helping people through illness, trauma, and life transitions towards finding balance and joy. In addition to practicing medicine, Evelin created the safer sex communication model STARS to help facilitate open and honest sex conversations. She is a consent and sex educator, sexual health activist and TEDx speaker (on STARS).💨 TLDR;2:19- Polyamory6:24- New Relationship Energy and Poly9:46- S.T.A.R.S.26:58- STIs39:20- Sex Positive Doctors42:48- Hierarchy in Relationships46:06- Owning Yourself❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Evelin... www.Maketimeforthetalk.comwww.Evelindacker.comTedx Talk on STARS📚 Books mentioned: “Polysecure”, by Jessica Fern“All About Love”, by Bell Hooks📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic nonSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In today’s episode I talk with Michael Love. He is the former publisher of ENM Magazine and PDXScene Magazine. Michael fancies himself an ambassador and advocate of Ethical Non-monogamy. Together with his nesting partners, they run a thriving online ENM Support Community that embraces all forms of Ethical Non-Monogamy, and host the ENM Talk Podcast show.  We talk about the spectrum of non-monogamy, what it’s like to be able to celebrate your partner’s relationships, and our journeys to Ethical Non-Monogamy.💨 TLDR;1:44- Finding an ENM Community 4:33- The Different Types of ethical non-monogamy8:25- Working Towards Celebrating Your Partner19:22- Communication22:04- The Spectrum of ethical non-monogamy25:20- Single and Dating vs Not Single and Dating27:15- Becoming ethically non-monogamous30:13- Possession in Relationships35:22- ENM Magazine Journey37:57- ENM Facebook Community❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Map of Non-MonogamyWant to connect with Michael...www.enmtalkpodcast.com https://www.facebook.com/ENMTalkPodcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/enmgroup📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with themSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am sharing Part 2 of an amazing conversation I had with Leanne and Greg Million. We continue our conversation with some really juicy sex tips, my enm playlist, and we also talk about how polyamory forces us to learn how to repair relationship ruptures in a way that most of us didn't learn in monogamous relationships. Leanne is a Relationship and Sexuality Coach, with an emphasis on those curious about or practicing poly/CNM, kink and alternative lifestyles. Greg is a relationship and empowerment coach specializing in helping others tap into the strength of their emotional life by supporting and guiding others on their journey of transformation into their most authentic, conscious, vulnerable and loving selves. Their coaching business, EMPOWERED NOW, is a safe space for the LGBTQ2IA+ community and people of all ethnicities, relationship structures and dynamics. 💨 TLDR;1:27- Becoming Non-Monogamous5:18- Rupture and Repair8:56- Polyamory as a Choice16:43- Transparency20:13- ENM and Culture27:30- The Sexiness of Clear Communication37:25- Know Yourself❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with The Millions?Website - gregmillion.com and leannemillion.comIG - @gregmillion.lifecoach and @leannemillionFB - Greg Million and Leanne Million📚 Books mentioned: 5 Sex Languages, by Douglass Weiss🎵ENM Playlist on Spotify📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online           - Website:Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237