Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Today I am giving you a sneak peek into our community Facebook group, also called Nope, We're Not Monogamous and a workshop we had last week! In that workshop, Elizabeth Claire de Lune and I explored boundaries.  We talk about rules and agreements versus boundaries, why we often don't develop a good sense for our boundaries and why safety is important for healthy relationships with yourself and with others. Elizabeth Clair de Lune helps humans at all stages of the divorce process - navigating the dissolution, building the resilience and new identity afterwards, and creating what’s next after you’ve found your footing again. She shows you how to harvest the lessons of high conflict, difficult experiences so that you can have the resilient backbone you need to offer your heart fully.Leave a review and let us know what you think or get exclusives by joining our Patreon.💨 TLDR;5:43- Boundaries and Agreements vs. Rules11:04- Connecting Your Body with Your Boundaries19:35- Finding the Edges of Your Boundaries29:54- Growing at Hyperspeed in Non-Monogamy32:45- Creating Safety in Non-Monogamous Relationships39:25- Safety vs. Security49:24- The Difference Between Boundaries, Needs, and Wants53:49- Creating Intentional Intimacy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Elizabeth Clare de Lune on Facebook or her website, www.elizabethclairdelune.comClass Registration📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online    - Website    - FacebookSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

This week I’m talking with my friend, Ashley Thibodaux. Ashley helps women find safety to rest in and believes that the only way to speed up is to slow down. We talk a lot about how to find safety in your relationship choices and how to create a list of non-negotiables, boundaries, and requirements of what you need in your relationships.Ashley leads programs, 1:1 coaching, fitness + rest classes rooted in creating safety in the body and coming home to your heart. Her mission is to deepen her connection with herself therefore creating deeper relationships with others. Then, she guides women to do the same. 💨 TLDR;3:04- Labels and Non-Monogamy6:02- Seeing Outside of the Box of Monogamy15:27- To Tell or Not to Tell?19:06- Recognizing Your Shame24:45- Finding Safety in Non-Monogamy30:20- The List42:25- Dating in Non-Monogamy48:37- Setting Boundaries52:35- It’s All About You❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Ashley?InstagramSassy + Spiritual Facebook Group📚 Books mentioned: ● The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online        - Website        - Facebook        - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout USEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory,Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

What the heck is human design and what could it possibly have to do with my relationships? I've worked with Amber for about six months, and the information that I got was so validating; for my relationships, for my business, and for my parenting. It was kind of mind blowing to have someone speak out loud, all of these pieces of me that I kind of knew were there, but I hadn't put into words. If you have any curiosity about human design, and what it might have to do with your relationships, a big piece of this is self acceptance and validation. And we all know that this is the key to moving through relationships, especially non monogamous relationships in a way that keeps us feeling loved and safe and connected. Amber Keyes is a Business Success Mentor who began her Human Design journey in 2014. She is deeply passionate about this system as the quintessential tool for all things business, and loves weaving her expertise in simplified business strategy, emotional regulation tools, mindset, and human design to help her clients create THEIR life, and THEIR business, on THEIR terms. She says the best thing about her work is watching her clients unsubscribe from unhelpful societal shoulds and step fully into their creative power, especially when it comes to making money doing what they love. When she isn't helping her clients with confidence, clarity, or consistent sustainable income, she is walking her dog, making memories with her son, and enjoying the life that her business affords her. 💨 TLDR;3:54- What is human design?9:22- Human Design and Relationships21:39- Radical Self Acceptance26:33- Human Design and Compersion28:17- Am I the Non-Monogamous “Type”?38:38- Sex and Human Design❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Amber?Join me in my Facebook Group, Your Life, Your Biz, Your Way With Human Design  Ways to work with meUse Code NOPE for $111 off a 90-Minute Human Design Discovery Session📚 Tools mentioned: ● Find your Human Design Type📰 Subscribe to Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

I'm talking to Tia Lynn, the Sexy Biz Babe who helps women own their confidence and power in the bedroom and the boardroom. We have a really great conversation around overcoming shame, enjoying things for yourself, and experiencing compersion. Tia helps online female entrepreneurs stand out in a crowded market by owning their Purpose, Pleasure, and Power, so that they can organically attract more clients with ease. Her methods are known to increase self-confidence, income, and to have the best sex of their life! 💨 TLDR;3:20- Exploring Non-Monogamy5:48- Moving Past Shame19:34- Communication in Non-Monogamy26:49- Avoiding Comparison27:59- The Joy of Gratitude29:29- Embodying Sexy, Confident, Non-Monogamy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Tia?Facebook- www.facebook.com/levelupwithtiaaInstagram- www.instagram.com/sexybizbabe/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout USEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the rSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

As we all know, the mental health impact of the pandemic combined with the process of opening up a monogamous, long term marriage can create a lot of challenges to overcome. Today we're talking about unwinding codependency, some of the mismatch that came up in the speed at which each of them wanted to open the relationship, some jealousy, fitting it into life while raising kids and running a business,  and so much more. Today I'm talking to Rachel Symington, aka the successful lazy bitch, and her husband Greg. They live in rural Kentucky with their two little kids and have been married for over a decade. They decided to become non-monogamous the summer of 2021, and have been exploring all of the aspects that come along with that. 💨 TLDR;2:15- Transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy8:39- Working Through Codependency15:14- Motivation and Compersion29:55- Nuclear Families and Kids with Non-Monogamy34:44- Dating in Non-Monogamy41:30- Lazy Successful Non-Monogamy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Rachel? InstagramFacebook📚 Books mentioned: ● And That’s Their Family, by Kailee Coleman📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website          - Facebook          - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I'm talking with the world's most interesting podcast guest, Chuck Copenspire.  We talk about my favorite topic, relationships and non monogamy and near the end we explore self-consent and the power of being in tune with your body.Chuck Copenspire is a former life coach, dominatrix, animator, programmer, and woman. They're currently a trans masculine, non binary human, forager, tech optimizer, friend, neighbor, relationship autonomist, and solo parent. Their goals are–to be on as many podcasts as possible, to foster or adopt as many arthropods and vertebrates or other creepy crawlies as possible, to collect a jar of a billionaire tears generated by their ability to connect sincerely and deeply in the moment and help them connect with their benevolent power and humanity, and to inspire people who feel like they don't belong to find their truest expression and the people that resonate with it. 💨 TLDR;3:27- Autonomy in Polyamory5:42- Building Safety in Non-Monogamy16:38- Building Community21:39- Jealousy in Non-Monogamy28:09- Embracing Autonomy35:58- Recognizing Your Needs❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Chuck?-Website: https://chuckcopenspire.carrd.co/-Spicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/possibillionaire6x/-Wholesome Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/a.beaut.iful.mess/-LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chucknspire-Twitter: https://twitter.com/Chuckenspire-TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@your.pansexual.crisis-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4RWdxJSuIasguMtkVGE8SQ📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

We're talking all about jealousy in non monogamy and how to process all these really hard complicated feelings and move through them without blowing up your relationships. My dear friend Wilder is joining me today and you might remember her from episode four of Nope, We're Not Monogamous, Wilder is in a closed triad with a married couple and gets to experience all of these feelings of essentially being the third person in an established relationship and moves through it so beautifully. She is sharing a lot of the ways that she's done that and I share a lot of my own experiences of being someone who is in a marriage that brought more people into it and the feelings of jealousy from that side. 💨 TLDR;2:18- Using Jealousy as a Stopping Point7:13- Jealousy as Passion11:42- Owning Your Jealousy22:16- Finding Your Best Self28:13- Whose Hurting Who?31:57- Naming Your Needs38:59- Expectations are Resentments in the Making48:19- Tools for Jealousy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Resources we mentioned... the video that includes the history of monogamy is here.📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia  Get out of your own way so you can experience love, inner peace, compersion, and security in your open relationships in Conquering Jealousy in Consensual Non-Monogamy👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - Instagram Credits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout USEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relatingSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

I'm talking to Shai and Lea today, the creators of the Secure Poly Collective about the biggest pitfalls of open relationships and I'm really excited to share this with you because they have so many wonderful tools and ideas. They share with you about how to feel more safe, seen and loved while also having the freedom to explore open relationship adventures that lead to fulfilling growth and healing and service to others.Shai and Lea are considered two of the go-to people for ethical non-monogamy education. They've built a worldwide brand that includes both a Free and Membership Based Community, Dating,Events, Education & Coaching. Their mission is to help partners thrive, not just survive, in conscious open relationships using their signature Eco-AmoryTM philosophy. What differentiates Lea and Shai in their teachings is that they see conscious non-monogamy as a vehicle for deep healing and personal growth.💨 TLDR;3:18- The journey to Non-Monogamy18:26- Discomfort Without Collapse21:49- Shifting to Polyamory25:54- 5 Biggest Pitfalls of Open Relating32:39- The Power of NRE35:07- Quality Time43:08- Eco-Amory❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Shai and LeaConnect on FacebookConnect with Shai on InstagramConnect with Lea on InstagramCheck out Leveled Up Love📚 Books mentioned: Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda JetháPolysecure, Jessica FernEthical Slut, Janet HardySend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Kate Loree is a sex positive Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in non monogamous, kink, LGBTQ and sex worker communities. Kate and I discuss attachment styles, her epic communication system, and the importance of somatic tracking when you're making decisions in non monogamous relationships.Kate is a certified sex educator and an EMDR certified therapist with additional training and trauma resiliency model for the treatment of trauma. She's been practicing psychotherapy since 2003. And she's also the co host of her own sex positive podcast Open Deeply with Sunny Megatron. She's a frequent public speaker, and she is also an author of what I think will be a best selling book, Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious Compassionate Open Relationships. This book tackles a lot of the difficult challenges that are posed by non monogamous relationships. She is sharing stories from her own life as well as her clients experiences to illustrate the highs and lows and in-betweens of life. 💨 TLDR;4:28- Journey to Non Monogamy7:28- Consent in Non Monogamy12:33- EPIC Communication16:52- Somatic Tracking24:27- Unresolved Trauma and Relationship Triggers33:44- Grounded Decision Making and Re-learning Love39:00- Sharing the Work42:49- Power of Self-Love❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Kate?https://kateloree.com/Instagram http://instagram.com/opendeeplywithkateloreeTikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@opendeeplywithkateloree?lang=enFacebook https://www.facebook.com/kateloreelmft Twitter http://twitter.com/kateloreelmft 📚 Books mentioned: Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships, Kate LoreeSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

This week I am speaking with Dr. Joli Hamilton.  This is one of my favorite episodes that I've recorded yet. Meeting someone whose journey feels so similar to my own is so validating and is really what I hope to provide for so many of you the listeners. Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT (pronounced ay-sect) certified sex educator. Joli’s also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur's Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love and host of the Project Relationship podcast. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.💨 TLDR;2:14- The Journey to Non-Monogamy16:29- Coming Out23:10- Kids and Non-Monogamy32:34- Jealousy40:24- Self-Awareness50:17- Finding Community in Non-Monogamy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Dr. Joli?Grab her top 5 Relationship Guides hereConnect on Instagram  📚 Books mentioned: Ethical Slut, Janet HardyProject Relationship by Dr. Joli Hamilton📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia PaineSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237