

Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jan 12, 2023 • 60min
Navigating Polyamory as a Pagan, Pansexual, Parent
Emily Otto is a healer for healers and an intuitive business coach who helps women listen to their heart's desires and create it through business and wild abundance. She is also a pagan, polyamorous pansexual parent who I adore. She shares her story of non-monogamy, what it's like to find other polyamorous people to connect with, and we talk about how important it is to discuss the wants and needs of each partner, and figure out how to fulfill them in a way that's mutually satisfying!💨 TLDR;The Journey to PolyamoryThe Benefits of Coaching in Polyamorous RelationshipsOpening Back Up With Small ChildrenWhere Paganism and Polyamory MeetFinding Clarity on Boundaries and Communicating ThemBeing Unquestionable AuthenticPracticing Self-Consent❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Emily?www.emily-otto.com@emilyottorebelle on TikTok, Instagram and FacebookBusiness Coaching for Healers and Spiritual Entrepreneurs with Emily Otto on Facebook Groups📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! 👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutGet free shipping on my favorite toys!!About UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in gSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Dec 29, 2022 • 39min
Finding Community and Authenticity in Polyamory, Ep. 39
Today I am talking with Delphine Lumen. Delphine is someone who has a passion for learning about what makes happy, healthy relationships and has spent the last year or so creating social events like coffee socials, speed dating, and friending events for non monogamous folks. She creates spaces where genuine curiosity is welcome and heteronormativity, cis normativity, and mono-normativity are challenged. We talk about her story from growing up in a non-traditional household to spending seven years intentionally celibate before then starting to date and engage in polyamorous relationships. She talks about how people in polyamorous relationships deal with their jealousy and the challenges that are involved in untangling your genuine feelings from societal programming so that you can be authentically yourself in relationships.💨 TLDR;What does it mean to be polyamorous?What it was like to start dating again as a polyamorous personThe challenges of being non-monogamousJealousy and non-monogamous conditioningThe spectrum of non-monogamyCoffee socials, speed dating, and friending eventsBeing authentically you❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Delphine?www.LightsOnRelationships.comhttps://www.facebook.com/LightsOnRelationships📚 Books mentioned: ● The Ethical Slut, Janet Hardy📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Dec 15, 2022 • 52min
Love Outside of the Romance Novel with Eleanor O’Brien, Ep. 38
Today, I am speaking with Eleanor O’Brien is the artistic director of Dance Naked Creative, a sex-positive theater and event company. She is a writer, performer and facilitator. We talk about her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy, how polyamory helped her expand her sexuality, and how writing a show about polyamory helped her overcome some of the challenges during that transition. Eleanor O'Brien starts a journey of non-monogamy and discovers that it's harder than it looks, especially when she begins to fall in love with someone other than her husband.💨 TLDR;How Polyamory Helped Eleanor Expand Her SexualityLove vs. MonogamyNavigating Jealousy in RelationshipsThe Rise of Polyamory and How It’s Changing RelationshipsFocusing on What You Love and Are Grateful For❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Eleanor?WEBSITE PATREON INSTAGRAM FB DANCE NAKED FETLIFE TWITTER 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Dec 1, 2022 • 48min
Somatic Practices in Non-Monogamy with Isha Vela, Ep. 37
This week I am talking with relationship anarchist and solo polyamorous person, Isha Vela. Isha and I talk about how they came to understand and embrace non-monogamy as part of their identity, how you can use somatic practices in non-monogamy, and what non-monogamy looks like in different parts of your life. "When I began loving in that way, it felt very much like coming home. It felt very much like, oh, this has always felt normal to me."Isha Vela is a trauma psychologist, somatic practitioner and shadow doula supporting individuals and couples of all configurations in deepening intimacy, connection and relationship satisfaction using body wisdom and somatic expressive techniques. Using nervous system awareness and attunement techniques, Isha helps people transform their intimacy wounds into intimacy superpowers.In addition to relationship work, Isha is a sovereignty coach and the creator of Body Based Business, a way of creating a bespoke business in alignment with your values and nervous system.💨 TLDR;Finding non - monogamy as a structure.What is somatic work?What relationship anarchy looks like for IshaComing out as non-monogamous.What makes a relationship successfulWhat it looks like to use somatic practices in your relationshipHow polyamory varies by age ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Isha?www.ishavela.comIG: @isha_velaBody Based Business FB group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/bodybasedbiz/?ref=share📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- HostSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Nov 17, 2022 • 1h 1min
The Power of Wants and Needs in Relationships, Ep. 36
Today, I'm talking to Dr. Joli Hamilton, again! We had such a great time on Episode 21 that we decided to do it all over again! We're talking about how to differentiate your needs and wants and desires and how that shows up in long term relationships that are opening up or have been open for a while. We touch on how we deal with jealousy and how to use our reactions to dig deeper into what’s changing in ourselves.Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli’s also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur's Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love and host of the Project Relationship podcast. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.💨 TLDR;How do you know when it’s time to evaluate a relationship?How to deal with frustration when you’re in a non-monogamous relationship.The entry point to moving out of the adolescent phase.What is desire? What is fantasy?Bringing your desire to your partner is not enough.How to turn on your internal flame and turn it on your partner.There’s no “right” way to deal with jealousy.❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Dr. Joli?Quiz- www.JoliQuiz.comGrab my top 5 Relationship Guides here - http://www.ListenToJoli.com Connect on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drjoli_hamilton/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Nov 3, 2022 • 43min
The Importance of Human Connection and Sex Work, Ep. 35
Today I am talking with my friend Numina Mara. Numina is a fantastic human and we had an amazing conversation that covered her love of the courtesan lifestyle, her experience in the sex industry, and what decriminalizing it could mean. This conversation is juicy and if you aren’t already a patreon, you should do it because her sex tip is even juicier!💨 TLDR;What non-monogamy looks like for herHow to work through toxic behaviors that come from bad relationshipsEntering sex workFantasy vs. human connection in sex workThe importance of sexual education and sexual health❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more join our Patreon! Want to connect with Numina?Numina Mara OnlyFansCheck out Numina Mara (@MaraNumina) on Twitter 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reaSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Oct 6, 2022 • 48min
Pregnancy & Non-Monogamy, Ep. 34
Today I’m talking to Kelli Moore. Kelli is the co founder and CEO of Soulfire productions, a podcast network for thought leaders, free thinkers and visionaries. Kelli and I chat about jealousy, opening a relationship, what changes happen when you get pregnant and how hormones affect your sex drive and the openness of a relationship and how she and her husband have navigated that. Kelli hosts the podcast, Okay, Babe and is a really passionate person. She desires to help people see themselves more clearly, and really believes that we can set ourselves free from expectations and people pleasing and the stories that hold us hostage in our lives. 💨 TLDR;2:58- Monogamish6:48- Facing Jealousy with Curiosity16:30- Talking About Non-Monogamy21:43- Pregnancy and Non-Monogamy26:07- Finding Intimacy Without Sex28:11- Relationships in Transition and Honoring Yourself37:10- Building Self-Trust with Journaling40:23- Creating Your Own Path❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Kelli... Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/kellitmoore/?hl=enOK, Babe- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ok-babe/id1497534094Soulfire Productions- http://soulfireproductionsco.com/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine iSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Sep 22, 2022 • 52min
Discovering Our Queerness, Ep. 33
This week’s episode is a little different! Today I am sharing a conversation with my girlfriend, Salena. We are giving you an inside look at the evolution of our relationship and how we have both discovered and came to terms with our queerness, navigated group sex, and STI convos. Enjoy!💨 TLDR;4:19- How We Met14:49- Defining Our Queerness18:30- Opening Up32:27- Sexual Safety and STARS46:52- The Importance of Talking About It❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.📚 Resources mentioned: ● Evelin Dacker Stars Website- https://www.maketimeforthetalk.com/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Sep 7, 2022 • 49min
Finding Yourself in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 32
I am so excited to share with you this conversation with Emily Gindlesparger. Emily is the author of Please Make Me Love Me, an intimate memoir of opening her relationship, coming into a queer identity, forming multiple intense, long-term relationships, and ultimately, learning to live by her own terms. She expresses herself so beautifully and, in this conversation, shares from such a heartfelt place her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy to monogamy, and finding herself along the way. Professionally, Emily is a book coach and ghostwriter at Scribe Media, where she helps authors tackle the emotional journey of writing, tap into the wisdom of their experience, and share it with the world. 💨 TLDR;8:45- Opening up15:43- Finding Safety in Non-Monogamy19:38- Being Honest With Yourself27:12- Making Time For Yourself29:18- Letting Go of Self-Judgement to Live Authentically40:54- Building in Time to Feel Your Feelings❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Emily?Website: emilygindlesparger.comInstagram: @emilygindleMedium: @emilygindlesparger📚 Books mentioned: ● Please Make Me Love Me: A Memoir, by Emily Gindelsparger📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relatSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Aug 11, 2022 • 1h 2min
Good Girls Talk About Non-Monogamy, with Leah Carey, Ep. 31
This week I am talking to Leah Carey. Leah is a sex and intimacy coach and she's the host of Good Girls Talk About Sex. We talk about her evolution from someone who didn't talk about sex and who was very sexually repressed to someone who talks about sex a lot, very publicly. We also talk a lot about learning to share your needs and she shares her experiences and a tool for you to try at home!Leah works with people to explore new avenues of their sexuality and fulfill their greatest desires like diving back into the dating pool after a long time away, or having first time queer experiences, or investigating consensual non monogamy or learning how to communicate about kink. Her superpower is radical empathy. She reflects your true sexual nature back to you without judgment, so you can see yourself without shame. 💨 TLDR;4:41- The Journey to Non Monogamy19:52- The Journey to Sexual Connectedness25:40- The Power of Sex Workers30:48- Recognizing What Works for YOU44:32- Trolls vs. The Uninformed50:29- Tools for Speaking Your Desires❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Leah? www.Leahcarey.comInstagram @goodgirlstalkFacebook📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online - Website - Facebook - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinginSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237