Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Today I’m talking to Kelli Moore. Kelli is the co founder and CEO of Soulfire productions, a podcast network for thought leaders, free thinkers and visionaries. Kelli and I chat about jealousy, opening a relationship, what changes happen when you get pregnant and how hormones affect your sex drive and the openness of a relationship and how she and her husband have navigated that. Kelli hosts the podcast, Okay, Babe and is a really passionate person.  She desires to help people see themselves more clearly, and really believes that we can set ourselves free from expectations and people pleasing and the stories that hold us hostage in our lives. 💨 TLDR;2:58- Monogamish6:48- Facing Jealousy with Curiosity16:30- Talking About Non-Monogamy21:43- Pregnancy and Non-Monogamy26:07- Finding Intimacy Without Sex28:11- Relationships in Transition and Honoring Yourself37:10- Building Self-Trust with Journaling40:23- Creating Your Own Path❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Kelli... Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/kellitmoore/?hl=enOK, Babe- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ok-babe/id1497534094Soulfire Productions- http://soulfireproductionsco.com/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online      - Website      - Facebook     - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-mSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

This week’s episode is a little different!  Today I am sharing a conversation with my girlfriend, Salena.  We are giving you an inside look at the evolution of our relationship and how we have both discovered and came to terms with our queerness, navigated group sex, and STI convos.  Enjoy!💨 TLDR;4:19- How We Met14:49- Defining Our Queerness18:30- Opening Up32:27- Sexual Safety and STARS46:52- The Importance of Talking About It❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.📚 Resources mentioned: ● Evelin Dacker Stars Website- https://www.maketimeforthetalk.com/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

I am so excited to share with you this conversation with Emily Gindlesparger. Emily is the author of Please Make Me Love Me, an intimate memoir of opening her relationship, coming into a queer identity, forming multiple intense, long-term relationships, and ultimately, learning to live by her own terms. She expresses herself so beautifully and, in this conversation, shares from such a heartfelt place her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy to monogamy, and finding herself along the way. Professionally, Emily is a book coach and ghostwriter at Scribe Media, where she helps authors tackle the emotional journey of writing, tap into the wisdom of their experience, and share it with the world. 💨 TLDR;8:45- Opening up15:43- Finding Safety in Non-Monogamy19:38- Being Honest With Yourself27:12- Making Time For Yourself29:18- Letting Go of Self-Judgement to Live Authentically40:54- Building in Time to Feel Your Feelings❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Emily?Website: emilygindlesparger.comInstagram: @emilygindleMedium: @emilygindlesparger📚 Books mentioned: ● Please Make Me Love Me: A Memoir, by Emily Gindelsparger📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

This week I am talking to Leah Carey. Leah is a sex and intimacy coach and she's the host of Good Girls Talk About Sex. We talk about her evolution from someone who didn't talk about sex and who was very sexually repressed to someone who talks about sex a lot, very publicly. We also talk a lot about learning to share your needs and she shares her experiences and a tool for you to try at home!Leah works with people to explore new avenues of their sexuality and fulfill their greatest desires like diving back into the dating pool after a long time away, or having first time queer experiences, or investigating consensual non monogamy or learning how to communicate about kink. Her superpower is radical empathy. She reflects your true sexual nature back to you without judgment, so you can see yourself without shame. 💨 TLDR;4:41- The Journey to Non Monogamy19:52- The Journey to Sexual Connectedness25:40- The Power of Sex Workers30:48- Recognizing What Works for YOU44:32- Trolls vs. The Uninformed50:29- Tools for Speaking Your Desires❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Leah? www.Leahcarey.comInstagram @goodgirlstalkFacebook📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online            - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them asSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am giving you a sneak peek into our community Facebook group, also called Nope, We're Not Monogamous and a workshop we had last week! In that workshop, Elizabeth Claire de Lune and I explored boundaries.  We talk about rules and agreements versus boundaries, why we often don't develop a good sense for our boundaries and why safety is important for healthy relationships with yourself and with others. Elizabeth Clair de Lune helps humans at all stages of the divorce process - navigating the dissolution, building the resilience and new identity afterwards, and creating what’s next after you’ve found your footing again. She shows you how to harvest the lessons of high conflict, difficult experiences so that you can have the resilient backbone you need to offer your heart fully.Leave a review and let us know what you think or get exclusives by joining our Patreon.💨 TLDR;5:43- Boundaries and Agreements vs. Rules11:04- Connecting Your Body with Your Boundaries19:35- Finding the Edges of Your Boundaries29:54- Growing at Hyperspeed in Non-Monogamy32:45- Creating Safety in Non-Monogamous Relationships39:25- Safety vs. Security49:24- The Difference Between Boundaries, Needs, and Wants53:49- Creating Intentional Intimacy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Elizabeth Clare de Lune on Facebook or her website, www.elizabethclairdelune.comClass Registration📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online    - Website    - Facebook    - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny WalSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

This week I’m talking with my friend, Ashley Thibodaux. Ashley helps women find safety to rest in and believes that the only way to speed up is to slow down. We talk a lot about how to find safety in your relationship choices and how to create a list of non-negotiables, boundaries, and requirements of what you need in your relationships.Ashley leads programs, 1:1 coaching, fitness + rest classes rooted in creating safety in the body and coming home to your heart. Her mission is to deepen her connection with herself therefore creating deeper relationships with others. Then, she guides women to do the same. 💨 TLDR;3:04- Labels and Non-Monogamy6:02- Seeing Outside of the Box of Monogamy15:27- To Tell or Not to Tell?19:06- Recognizing Your Shame24:45- Finding Safety in Non-Monogamy30:20- The List42:25- Dating in Non-Monogamy48:37- Setting Boundaries52:35- It’s All About You❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Ashley?InstagramSassy + Spiritual Facebook Group📚 Books mentioned: ● The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online        - Website        - Facebook        - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout USEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. AndSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

What the heck is human design and what could it possibly have to do with my relationships? I've worked with Amber for about six months, and the information that I got was so validating; for my relationships, for my business, and for my parenting. It was kind of mind blowing to have someone speak out loud, all of these pieces of me that I kind of knew were there, but I hadn't put into words. If you have any curiosity about human design, and what it might have to do with your relationships, a big piece of this is self acceptance and validation. And we all know that this is the key to moving through relationships, especially non monogamous relationships in a way that keeps us feeling loved and safe and connected. Amber Keyes is a Business Success Mentor who began her Human Design journey in 2014. She is deeply passionate about this system as the quintessential tool for all things business, and loves weaving her expertise in simplified business strategy, emotional regulation tools, mindset, and human design to help her clients create THEIR life, and THEIR business, on THEIR terms. She says the best thing about her work is watching her clients unsubscribe from unhelpful societal shoulds and step fully into their creative power, especially when it comes to making money doing what they love. When she isn't helping her clients with confidence, clarity, or consistent sustainable income, she is walking her dog, making memories with her son, and enjoying the life that her business affords her. 💨 TLDR;3:54- What is human design?9:22- Human Design and Relationships21:39- Radical Self Acceptance26:33- Human Design and Compersion28:17- Am I the Non-Monogamous “Type”?38:38- Sex and Human Design❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Amber?Join me in my Facebook Group, Your Life, Your Biz, Your Way With Human Design  Ways to work with meUse Code NOPE for $111 off a 90-Minute Human Design Discovery Session📚 Tools mentioned: ● Find your Human Design Type📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

I'm talking to Tia Lynn, the Sexy Biz Babe who helps women own their confidence and power in the bedroom and the boardroom. We have a really great conversation around overcoming shame, enjoying things for yourself, and experiencing compersion. Tia helps online female entrepreneurs stand out in a crowded market by owning their Purpose, Pleasure, and Power, so that they can organically attract more clients with ease. Her methods are known to increase self-confidence, income, and to have the best sex of their life! 💨 TLDR;3:20- Exploring Non-Monogamy5:48- Moving Past Shame19:34- Communication in Non-Monogamy26:49- Avoiding Comparison27:59- The Joy of Gratitude29:29- Embodying Sexy, Confident, Non-Monogamy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Tia?Facebook- www.facebook.com/levelupwithtiaaInstagram- www.instagram.com/sexybizbabe/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout USEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

As we all know, the mental health impact of the pandemic combined with the process of opening up a monogamous, long term marriage can create a lot of challenges to overcome. Today we're talking about unwinding codependency, some of the mismatch that came up in the speed at which each of them wanted to open the relationship, some jealousy, fitting it into life while raising kids and running a business,  and so much more. Today I'm talking to Rachel Symington, aka the successful lazy bitch, and her husband Greg. They live in rural Kentucky with their two little kids and have been married for over a decade. They decided to become non-monogamous the summer of 2021, and have been exploring all of the aspects that come along with that. 💨 TLDR;2:15- Transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy8:39- Working Through Codependency15:14- Motivation and Compersion29:55- Nuclear Families and Kids with Non-Monogamy34:44- Dating in Non-Monogamy41:30- Lazy Successful Non-Monogamy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Rachel? InstagramFacebook📚 Books mentioned: ● And That’s Their Family, by Kailee Coleman📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website          - Facebook          - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they'vSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I'm talking with the world's most interesting podcast guest, Chuck Copenspire.  We talk about my favorite topic, relationships and non monogamy and near the end we explore self-consent and the power of being in tune with your body.Chuck Copenspire is a former life coach, dominatrix, animator, programmer, and woman. They're currently a trans masculine, non binary human, forager, tech optimizer, friend, neighbor, relationship autonomist, and solo parent. Their goals are–to be on as many podcasts as possible, to foster or adopt as many arthropods and vertebrates or other creepy crawlies as possible, to collect a jar of a billionaire tears generated by their ability to connect sincerely and deeply in the moment and help them connect with their benevolent power and humanity, and to inspire people who feel like they don't belong to find their truest expression and the people that resonate with it. 💨 TLDR;3:27- Autonomy in Polyamory5:42- Building Safety in Non-Monogamy16:38- Building Community21:39- Jealousy in Non-Monogamy28:09- Embracing Autonomy35:58- Recognizing Your Needs❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.Want to connect with Chuck?-Website: https://chuckcopenspire.carrd.co/-Spicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/possibillionaire6x/-Wholesome Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/a.beaut.iful.mess/-LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chucknspire-Twitter: https://twitter.com/Chuckenspire-TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@your.pansexual.crisis-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4RWdxJSuIasguMtkVGE8SQ📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course👀 Find Us Online           - Website          Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237