Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Today we are celebrating a major milestone for our podcast, Nope, We're Not Monogamous: our 50th episode! To mark this occasion, I was joined by Danny, my producer, boyfriend and fellow non-monogamous adventurer. As we reminisced about our favorite episodes, we couldn't help but feel grateful for the incredible support we've received from our private Facebook group and Patreon patrons.Our journey through non-monogamy has been a rollercoaster, and we were excited to revisit episodes that covered topics like decolonizing polyamory, relationship anarchy, overcoming the challenge of being vetoed, and experiencing personal growth through jealousy. We also delved into the complex world of emotions, discussing the importance of jealousy, compersion, and creating a sense of safety when opening up or transitioning into non-monogamy.We also explored the concept of the 'relationship escalator' and the societal pressure to follow a traditional trajectory in relationships. By taking things slow and avoiding the pitfalls of this prescribed path, we've found that our connections become stronger and more secure. So join us as we celebrate 50 episodes of candid conversations, learning to live life outside the box and embracing the world of non-monogamy!Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Love Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced productsDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am speaking with Marie Thouin, a dating and relationship coach with a passion for understanding the intricacies of non monogamous relationships and a PhD researcher on compersion. Her experience with questioning the social norms around monogamy led her to exploring alternative relationship dynamics, and conducting research to help others find harmony in their own relationships. We get into what compersion is and the factors that help you achieve it and even block you from it.  You're gonna hear so many good tips around compersion, including how metamours and overcoming jealousy plays into it. Dr. Marie Thouin is the founder of Love InSight, a Mindful Dating & Relationship Coaching practice where she helps people of all backgrounds and relationship styles create vibrant & intentional love lives. She is also a leading scholar and researcher on the topic of compersion in consensually non-monogamous relationships. She shares her research on her website, www.whatiscompersion.com.💨 TLDR;What is Compersion?What are the Factors in Achieving Compersion?How Self-care Effects CompersionThe Role of Metamour Relationships in CompersionCompersion as a PracticeThe Importance of CommunityWhy the Word MattersIdentifying Bottlenecks in Your RelationshipsCompersion is Not an On/Off SwitchCompersion and Jealousy Can CoexistWork with Ellecia to go Beyond Jealousy and find your compersive feelings. www.elleciapaine.com/conqueringjealousy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Marie?www.loveinsight-dating.comwww.whatiscompersion.comSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Love Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced productsDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

My guest Christina Dynamite and I  are chatting about  our intimate journeys through non-monogamy and polyamory as we share personal experiences, challenges, and triumphs in navigating their unconventional relationships. We dive deep into relationships, sexuality, and even STIs, offering practical advice and invaluable resources for listeners.Christina B. Dynamite (she/her) is a vibrant Mental Wellness Coach, Educator, Nurse, and Artist who fiercely believes that being authentically yourself and chasing your passions are non-negotiable needs for a meaningful life.Dynamite is a human perpetually seeking growth and recovery from trauma, ADHD, addiction, and societal programming including white privilege. She is a bisexual polyamorous kinky queer who rides motorcycles, scuba dives, occasionally performs music & cabaret, and also serves on the board of the Oregon Holistic Nurses Association. She is deeply grateful for the encouragement, support, and love from her wife, 5 cats, 3 dogs, many mentors, muses, and friends.💨 TLDR;Journey to Non-MonogamyBuilding a Non-Monogamous RelationshipIntroducing MetamoursDestigmatizing STIs and Getting the Right TestingDefining Sex and Being SafeRecognizing Your Needs and Patterns Making Time for ConnectionDealing with JealousyMeeting Your Basic NeedsFinding Your CommunityThe Benefits of TherapyThe Importance of Practicing and Using Communication Tools❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Nurse Dynamite?IG: @Deenamita http://nursedynamite.com/https://www.facebook.com/nursedynamitepdx📚 Books mentioned: Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Love Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced productsDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

I am talking to life and relationship coach, Randi Robbins, about some of the various forms of non monogamous relationships and how to manage the exciting and sometimes overwhelming emotions that come with NRE, new relationship energy. Randi is a therapist turned life and relationship coach for polyamorous people. Randi often heard therapy clients share about judgmental and hurtful things that had been said to them about their relationships, sometimes from therapists! This led Randi to diving into coaching as a way to help polyamorous people around the world, providing support as a person who really gets it.Randi has been polyamorous for over a decade, and has previously been an organizer in kink communities. She has a husband, a non-nesting life partner, a toddler, and two goofy dogs. 💨 TLDR;Polyamory vs. MonogamyThe Pros and Cons of Non-MonogamyHow to Prolong New Relationship EnergyHow to Deal with Jealousy in Non-MonogamyFollowing Your Why in Relationships❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Randi?Website: randirobbins.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/randirobbinsllc/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@randirobbinsllcFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/findyourwaypolyam/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/ProduceSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Love Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced productsDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In today’s episode, I talk with Kim Coffin, a trauma informed body based empowerment coach who's paving a new way for women to discover their inner sexual and sensual confidence. Through her own journey of breaking through societal conditioning, and healing deep trauma, Kim has become an expert in female sexuality, tantric sex, and relationship transformation. Kim and I chat about our combined insights on non monogamy and polyamory and the power of pleasure and sacred sexuality practices in empowering women, and how to break free from societal conditioning to discover true sovereignty and personal truth. Join us as we uncover the transformative power of Kim's work and learn how to reclaim your own power and your own voice. 💨 TLDR;Connecting with Yourself Through SexualityExploring the Patriarchy in MonogamyRecognizing Trauma in Our Coping MechanismsFollowing Your PleasureNon-Monogamy as a ChoiceFree Tools to Approach Your Relationships❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Kim?Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=569755109 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/get_your_sexy_back_coach/ Private Facebook Group - Get Your Sexy Back - https://www.facebook.com/groups/2251812558445958/Get Your Sexy Back Podcast - https://zurl.co/rqIq Sacred Pleasure Membership - https://getyoursexyback.ca/sacred-pleasure-membership/Complimentary Discovery Call - https://calendly.com/talk-to-kim/unleash-your-unapologetic-power📰 Subscribe to Not A MSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  LeloGet in touch with all your pleasure points!Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am talking to Lelia Gowland, a married Southern woman with a literal white picket fence, who confronted her fears and her need for anonymity to very publicly embrace her queer and polyamorous identities and discover the beauty of deep connection and authentic self expression. You will hear us talk about how the polyamory landscape has evolved over the last decade or two, and how self acceptance of your personal identities, queer, polyamorous, non monogamous, whatever they are, can affect you.  Lelia is a writer and a speaker who centers her work on authenticity. She's written for publications like Forbes, Huffington Post, and Harper Bazaar, and she speaks to organizations and individuals about leading with authenticity to create happier, more productive lives.💨 TLDR;Embracing PolyamoryComing Out as PolyamorousUnlearning MonogamyFinding Connection Without LabelsEmbracing IdentityWhat Authenticity Doesn’t Look LikeBusiness and PolyamoryBeing Gentle With Yourself❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Leila?Join her newsletter! https://www.leliagowland.com/newsletterTake the authenticity quiz!  www.leliagowalnd.com/quizInstagram: @leliagowland📚 Books mentioned: Ethical Slut, by Janet HardyPolysecure, Jessica FernSex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamousGet free shipping on my favoSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

After 28 years of pure monogamy, my guest today dove into a sexuality community to explore something different during what one might call a midlife crisis, only to find herself with a primary relationship that created a load of freedom and challenged her to know the difference between her edges and her boundaries. My guest today is Kim Holden. Kim and I chat about exploring sexuality and relationship dynamics after you've been through a divorce, practicing tools to recognize your own personal yes and your own personal no when you're making decisions, and examining the difference between your edges and your boundaries in relationships.Kim Holden is an intimacy and relationship coach. She guides singles and couples to untangle feelings of unworthiness, shame, and invisibility and connect with their power, confidence, and unique flavor. She holds exquisite space for clients to open up and access their authentic pleasure and truth. As a breast cancer survivor, she is dedicated to helping other survivors renew their joy through connection to body, mind and soul in a new and meaningful way. 💨 TLDR;The Journey from Monogamy to Non-MonogamyTools for Reconnecting with YourselfFinding Your Embodied YesHaving Multiple Stories Be TrueThe Importance of CommunityDefining What Your Relationships AreTools for Co-Regulating❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Kim?www.kimholden.comInstagram📚 Books mentioned:  I Love you the Purplest, by Brenda JoosseSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Sara and I are talking about her experiences with polyamory and some of mine too! We cover coming out to family and friends as polyamorous, how polyamorous people might handle breakups of their partners, and how to deal with metamour relationships. Dr. Sara Sohn, DPT, PT, WCS is a highly accomplished and experienced pelvic floor physical therapist, sex counselor, and mentor for leaders working in taboo areas. Sara holds a strong belief that pleasure is a fundamental right and dedicates her efforts to mentoring health and wellness providers to become courageous leaders in sexual literacy. With over half a decade of experience as a leading pelvic health provider, Sara has dedicated herself to educating the community, speaking nationally, and preparing others to lead in areas that are often stigmatized or taboo. Additionally, she has a personal lifestyle of polyamory, long-term partnership with two partners, and enjoys solo backpacking and singing. To learn more about Sara and her work, visit the links provided.💨 TLDR;Kitchen Table PolyHandling Partner Breakups in PolyamoryIntegrating MetamoursPolyamory as an Identity vs ChoiceThe Coming Out ProcessMetamour RelationshipsPoly Check-inBuilding a Supportive CommunityJealousy as a CatalystLabbingThe Importance of Understanding Sexuality for Health and Wellness Providers❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Sara?Website - www.confidentpelvicrehab.comFacebook group - www.facebook.com/groups/cprforyourprivatesFree Book Club - https://p.bttr.to/3DjzCLE📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamousGet free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online           - Website         Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today, I’m chatting with Kyra Gilchrist, a relationship anarchist and solo polyamory advocate. Kyra shares with us how she coped with the aftermath of being vetoed from the relationship that she was in when she was last on the show in episode nine. She describes how being vetoed can be traumatic, how she coped with it, and the tools and skills that she learned working through it. Kyra is a childcare and birth worker of color living in Seattle with her two cats and turtle. In her spare time she grounds herself with reading, nature and loved ones. She is passionate about social justice and hard cider. 💨 TLDR;What is Being Vetoed/ Couples Privilege?Deconstructing Monogamy for PolyamoryHow Trauma Can Shape Your ExperienceHow to Deal With the Emotions That Come Along with MemoriesWhy Friendship and Community Are ImportantHealing Comes From WithinHonoring Your GriefHonoring Yourself and Your Progress❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamousGet free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsEllecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner livesSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Domina Anne Shirley coaches people on how to be the Dominant in their own lives. Today, she shares her struggles with the idea of non-monogamy and we talk about the different facets of dominance and submission as well as how empowering non-monogamy can be.  We discuss the importance of finding safety and trust within oneself, and I share my own exploration of power dynamics. Domina Anne is a Dominatrix Life Coach who supports individuals at owning who they are, so they can create a life, relationships, partnership finances or business they deeply desire from a kink perspective.  She supports individuals and couples at exploring kink in safer ways. And she teaches, coaches and mentors individuals at becoming a Dominatrix.💨 TLDR;Accepting Non-Monogamy as a Relationship StyleWhat It Means to Have Dominant EnergyWhat is a Dom(me)?Playing with Power DynamicsGenerational Gap of AcceptanceThe Importance of Being Connected to Your Body❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Domina Anne?https://linktr.ee/domina_anne_shirleyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/domina.anne.shirleyIG: @dominaanneshirley📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamousGet free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  LeloGet in touch with all your pleasure points!Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237