Nope! We're Not Monogamous

The non-monogamous relationship journey is brimming with complexity and profound self-discovery. This episode opens a window into this world, as we chat with Victor Salmon, who walks us through their journey from their initial exposure to polyamory to their experiences within the BDSM community. Victor offers a fresh perspective on managing jealousy and understanding human connections.We get real about the intricacies of being a hinge partner and what it means to be a 'unicorn' in the Swinger community. Victor shares the importance of setting boundaries versus people-pleasing, and how trauma can impact relationships. We delve into emotional maturity and celebrate the growth that comes with breaking away from monogamous conditioning.Finally, we discuss how to set boundaries, understand our own attachment styles, and be sensitive to our partner's needs. By the end of our chat with Victor, you'll be equipped with a wealth of knowledge on crafting healthier, more satisfying relationships, whether you're venturing into polyamory or simply looking to understand it better. Victor Salmon, is a beacon of inspiration for those searching for a healthier emotional and relational outlook. Victor's initial exposure to non-hierarchical polyamory and subsequent experiences within the BDSM community have shaped their nurturing approach to emotional well-being. Victor excels at translating complex emotions into relatable insights that encourage self-reflection and cultivate healthier relationships. 📚 Books mentioned: Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall RosenbergPolysecure by Jessica FernConnect with Victorhttps://intimatevictor.com/resources/podcast/Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, Casey Donatello opens up about the challenges and dynamics of striving for equity in non-monogamous relationships. But just when it seems like they've found the perfect balance, a shocking twist threatens to unravel their carefully built connection. Tune in to find out what happens next.Meet Casey Donatello, a passionate advocate for boundary pushing and exploring dynamics within non-monogamous relationships. Throughout her personal journey that spans almost two decades, Casey has published three compelling memoirs, navigating the captivating landscape of alternative relationships with a raw, unfiltered perspective. Bridging the gap between fantasy and reality, her experiences enrich her candid discussions on equity, equality and the complex nuances that shape non-monogamous partnerships.Gain a fresh perspective on relationships by exploring Casey Donatello's real-world adventures in non-monogamy.Discover the indispensable role of open dialogue and trust, extending beyond non-monogamous relationships into all interactions.Understand the psychological impact of non-monogamy, providing insights into human vulnerabilities and open discussions on emotional challenges.Unwrap the concept of equity versus equality in non-monogamous relationships, setting the stage for thinking outside of traditional relationship norms.Empower yourself with effective techniques to navigate through the complexities of non-monogamy, enriching your understanding of emotional intelligence in relationships.Want to connect with Casey?www.caseydonatello.comCheck out Casey Donatello's Instagram page, In Bed with Strangers, for fascinating and engaging content related to non-monogamous relationships.Explore Casey Donatello's three memoirs, which provide an insightful and personal look into the lifestyle of non-monogamy.Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Are you tired of feeling disconnected from yourself and others? What if there was a way to build a unique web of relationships that truly support your well-being and growth? Well, we're here to tell you that it's possible! In my discussion with internationally known author and educator, Lee Harrington, we uncover the secrets to creating intentional, supportive relationships and fostering self-love.Discover how finding a balance between hyper-independence and codependence can lead to flourishing connections within communities. Lee shares their journey to self-love and self-connection through their new book, Become Your Own Beloved: A Guide to Delighting and Self-Connection. We also dive into the concept of New Relationship Energy, discussing how it can be experienced during various stages of relationships and the courage it takes to embrace new possibilities.Lastly, we explore the importance of listening to all voices within our relationships, including our own, as we navigate the world of polyamory. Learn how changing our minds can help build relationships more compatible with our lives, and the significance of self-love in these connections. Don't miss this enlightening and inspiring conversation that will leave you with a new perspective on self-love, relationships, and community.An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his many books include “Sacred Kink: The Eighfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond,” “Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macrame,” and “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys.” You can check out Lee’s adventures, as well as his podcast, tour schedule, free essays, videos, and more, over at PassionAndSoul.com.Want to connect with Lee?PassionandSoul.comIG:@passionandsoulFB: passionandsoul📚 Books mentioned: Become Your Own Beloved, by Lee HarringtonThe Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton and Janet HardySend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

This week, I am talking with relationship coach, Lucy Price.  Join us as we discuss the power of non-monogamous relationships and the importance of understanding our own feelings and desires before following someone else's lead. Lucy shares her experiences, mistakes, and valuable lessons she learned along the way, highlighting the concept of monogamish relationships and how to navigate open relationships while respecting everyone involved. We also touch on the challenges of finding authenticity in relationships, the impact of unresolved wounds from our past, and the importance of healing and reclaiming power after toxic relationships.Gain invaluable guidance and learn how to improve your communication, elevate your intimacy, and confidently explore your relationship preferences. Listen now and embrace the journey to better understanding yourself and your relationships!Want to connect with Lucy? www.shiftyourstory.netIG: @lucy.m.priceTikTok: Lucy.m.price0Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today we are celebrating a major milestone for our podcast, Nope, We're Not Monogamous: our 50th episode! To mark this occasion, I was joined by Danny, my producer, boyfriend and fellow non-monogamous adventurer. As we reminisced about our favorite episodes, we couldn't help but feel grateful for the incredible support we've received from our private Facebook group and Patreon patrons.Our journey through non-monogamy has been a rollercoaster, and we were excited to revisit episodes that covered topics like decolonizing polyamory, relationship anarchy, overcoming the challenge of being vetoed, and experiencing personal growth through jealousy. We also delved into the complex world of emotions, discussing the importance of jealousy, compersion, and creating a sense of safety when opening up or transitioning into non-monogamy.We also explored the concept of the 'relationship escalator' and the societal pressure to follow a traditional trajectory in relationships. By taking things slow and avoiding the pitfalls of this prescribed path, we've found that our connections become stronger and more secure. So join us as we celebrate 50 episodes of candid conversations, learning to live life outside the box and embracing the world of non-monogamy!Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callLove Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced productsDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am speaking with Marie Thouin, a dating and relationship coach with a passion for understanding the intricacies of non monogamous relationships and a PhD researcher on compersion. Her experience with questioning the social norms around monogamy led her to exploring alternative relationship dynamics, and conducting research to help others find harmony in their own relationships. We get into what compersion is and the factors that help you achieve it and even block you from it.  You're gonna hear so many good tips around compersion, including how metamours and overcoming jealousy plays into it. Dr. Marie Thouin is the founder of Love InSight, a Mindful Dating & Relationship Coaching practice where she helps people of all backgrounds and relationship styles create vibrant & intentional love lives. She is also a leading scholar and researcher on the topic of compersion in consensually non-monogamous relationships. She shares her research on her website, www.whatiscompersion.com.💨 TLDR;What is Compersion?What are the Factors in Achieving Compersion?How Self-care Effects CompersionThe Role of Metamour Relationships in CompersionCompersion as a PracticeThe Importance of CommunityWhy the Word MattersIdentifying Bottlenecks in Your RelationshipsCompersion is Not an On/Off SwitchCompersion and Jealousy Can CoexistWork with Ellecia to go Beyond Jealousy and find your compersive feelings. www.elleciapaine.com/conqueringjealousy❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Marie?www.loveinsight-dating.comwww.whatiscompersion.comwww.instagram.com/Love_insight_dating 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callLove Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced productsDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

My guest Christina Dynamite and I  are chatting about  our intimate journeys through non-monogamy and polyamory as we share personal experiences, challenges, and triumphs in navigating their unconventional relationships. We dive deep into relationships, sexuality, and even STIs, offering practical advice and invaluable resources for listeners.Christina B. Dynamite (she/her) is a vibrant Mental Wellness Coach, Educator, Nurse, and Artist who fiercely believes that being authentically yourself and chasing your passions are non-negotiable needs for a meaningful life.Dynamite is a human perpetually seeking growth and recovery from trauma, ADHD, addiction, and societal programming including white privilege. She is a bisexual polyamorous kinky queer who rides motorcycles, scuba dives, occasionally performs music & cabaret, and also serves on the board of the Oregon Holistic Nurses Association. She is deeply grateful for the encouragement, support, and love from her wife, 5 cats, 3 dogs, many mentors, muses, and friends.💨 TLDR;Journey to Non-MonogamyBuilding a Non-Monogamous RelationshipIntroducing MetamoursDestigmatizing STIs and Getting the Right TestingDefining Sex and Being SafeRecognizing Your Needs and Patterns Making Time for ConnectionDealing with JealousyMeeting Your Basic NeedsFinding Your CommunityThe Benefits of TherapyThe Importance of Practicing and Using Communication Tools❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Nurse Dynamite?IG: @Deenamita http://nursedynamite.com/https://www.facebook.com/nursedynamitepdx📚 Books mentioned: Polysecure, by Jessica FernSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callLove Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced productsDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

I am talking to life and relationship coach, Randi Robbins, about some of the various forms of non monogamous relationships and how to manage the exciting and sometimes overwhelming emotions that come with NRE, new relationship energy. Randi is a therapist turned life and relationship coach for polyamorous people. Randi often heard therapy clients share about judgmental and hurtful things that had been said to them about their relationships, sometimes from therapists! This led Randi to diving into coaching as a way to help polyamorous people around the world, providing support as a person who really gets it.Randi has been polyamorous for over a decade, and has previously been an organizer in kink communities. She has a husband, a non-nesting life partner, a toddler, and two goofy dogs. 💨 TLDR;Polyamory vs. MonogamyThe Pros and Cons of Non-MonogamyHow to Prolong New Relationship EnergyHow to Deal with Jealousy in Non-MonogamyFollowing Your Why in Relationships❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Randi?Website: randirobbins.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/randirobbinsllc/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@randirobbinsllcFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/findyourwaypolyam/📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - InstagramCredits- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters- Hosted on BuzzsproutAbout UsSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callLove Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced productsDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

In today’s episode, I talk with Kim Coffin, a trauma informed body based empowerment coach who's paving a new way for women to discover their inner sexual and sensual confidence. Through her own journey of breaking through societal conditioning, and healing deep trauma, Kim has become an expert in female sexuality, tantric sex, and relationship transformation. Kim and I chat about our combined insights on non monogamy and polyamory and the power of pleasure and sacred sexuality practices in empowering women, and how to break free from societal conditioning to discover true sovereignty and personal truth. Join us as we uncover the transformative power of Kim's work and learn how to reclaim your own power and your own voice. 💨 TLDR;Connecting with Yourself Through SexualityExploring the Patriarchy in MonogamyRecognizing Trauma in Our Coping MechanismsFollowing Your PleasureNon-Monogamy as a ChoiceFree Tools to Approach Your Relationships❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Kim?Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=569755109 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/get_your_sexy_back_coach/ Private Facebook Group - Get Your Sexy Back - https://www.facebook.com/groups/2251812558445958/Get Your Sexy Back Podcast - https://zurl.co/rqIq Sacred Pleasure Membership - https://getyoursexyback.ca/sacred-pleasure-membership/Complimentary Discovery Call - https://calendly.com/talk-to-kim/unleash-your-unapologetic-power📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamousSend us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callLeloGet in touch with all your pleasure points!Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am talking to Lelia Gowland, a married Southern woman with a literal white picket fence, who confronted her fears and her need for anonymity to very publicly embrace her queer and polyamorous identities and discover the beauty of deep connection and authentic self expression. You will hear us talk about how the polyamory landscape has evolved over the last decade or two, and how self acceptance of your personal identities, queer, polyamorous, non monogamous, whatever they are, can affect you.  Lelia is a writer and a speaker who centers her work on authenticity. She's written for publications like Forbes, Huffington Post, and Harper Bazaar, and she speaks to organizations and individuals about leading with authenticity to create happier, more productive lives.💨 TLDR;Embracing PolyamoryComing Out as PolyamorousUnlearning MonogamyFinding Connection Without LabelsEmbracing IdentityWhat Authenticity Doesn’t Look LikeBusiness and PolyamoryBeing Gentle With Yourself❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Leila?Join her newsletter! https://www.leliagowland.com/newsletterTake the authenticity quiz!  www.leliagowalnd.com/quizInstagram: @leliagowland📚 Books mentioned: Ethical Slut, by Janet HardyPolysecure, Jessica FernSex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamousGet free shipping on my favorite toys!!👀 Find Us Online           - Website           - Facebook           - Send us a texthttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237