Grace + Boundaries: Navigating Intergenerational Trauma with Erin Hearts
Erin Hearts
Grace + Boundaries is a weekly memoir in a podcast! Follow host, Erin Hearts, as she shares how she navigates trauma while setting boundaries from her higher self. Traumas, big or small, can add up to broken relationships within a family. These traumas continue being passed down until we take steps to repair and mend our broken hearts with self-care and psychological education. Gaining emotional maturity is also a large part of the path towards grace and boundaries. Erin has walked the path of trauma recovery for the past decade, and is learning day by day how to evolve from the hurt she feels in order to become the graceful, loving woman she has always intended to be. Erin has a Master's degree in Education, creatively teaches middle school, is a musician, and loves being a single mom to her tweenaged boy. Grace + Boundaries has been the name of this podcast since July 2023. From November 2021- June 2023, this podcast was called "Self-Care for Survivors of Trauma." This podcast is a community of honest, open-minded survivors of all types of trauma, big and small. Each week, host Erin Hearts will discuss an aspect of self-care- emotional, physical, spiritual, etc.- and share how she navigates life's challenges by doing special things for herself and making time for herself each day. Erin believes that learning how to take care of ourselves is the key to healthy relationships with others, and she's devoted the past six years to studying and practicing how to better love and support herself and her loved ones. Erin is a single mom, teacher, musician, and highly sensitive person. Instagram: @iheartserin
Episodes
Mentioned books
Nov 6, 2022 • 1h 18min
Episode 50: Female Voices Will Be Heard Roundtable Discussion
Are you going to vote on Tuesday? How do you feel about Roe vs. Wade having been overturned last summer? Those are two topics that are discussed in today's episode. I share my thoughts about casting my ballot for what I believe in, and I share a roundtable discussion that I had in July with six intelligent, thoughtful women who are involved in the podcasting world. Some featured voices include: Tiphany Kane: Radical Audacity in Love and LifeHilary Russo: HiLististically SpeakingEmily Palacios: Cycle ChatsPlus, ME, Erin Hearts. I share around the 48:00 mark. I hope you enjoy the episode. Thank you for listening! Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Oct 31, 2022 • 18min
Episode 49: How to Navigate Sharing a Child with a Narcissist
I met a woman today who was dealing with painful custody issues surrounding her divorce from a difficult person. I used the term "narcissist" in the title because I wanted to succinctly point you towards they type of difficult person I'm talking about in this episode. But, I also don't love using that term because it gets thrown around way too often. I use the word in the sense that is truest to me: a person who is extremely manipulative and dangerously retaliatory, especially in a situation such as divorce and child custody. If you have ever been a part of a relationship with someone who has narcissistic tendencies, or even actual NPD, then you'll know that this is someone who will take anything and everything he/she/they can when they find a tiny nugget of power. It's awful and the court systems and legal systems can't really help us suffering from emotional abuse because unless there has been physcial violence, it is very hard to prove anything is amiss in a relationship. I discuss how to get through these situations: working on yourself and your own maturity, and getting out your feelings in a place separate from the space you share with the difficult one. I had to train myself to be mature in triggering situations where bad behavior was rampant and so unfair. But stooping to a difficult person's level is crazy-making and an endless journey to nowhereland. Thank you for listening! Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Oct 26, 2022 • 18min
Episode 48: Dating Deathtrap #5 Living in Fantasy
Could you be using fantasy as a coping mechanism to distract from feelings? Well, I sure have for a lot of my life. I'm finally noticing exactly how and when it happens and how I can stop that compulsive behavior. It hurts me and it hurts the objects of my affection. It also derails me on my path towards being part of a healthy, loving partnership. I share three reasons why living in fantasy is detrimental to my goals (and maybe yours, too!) Living in fantasy and unrequitted love is not living. I want more. Thank you for listening! Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Oct 18, 2022 • 22min
Episode 47: Better Body Care, not dieting
How do you treat your body? I was 11 when I started dieting and trying to change my size to fit into society. I didn't treat my body well for decades. Now I care about respecting my body and treating it with the love I feel for myself. What does that look like? For me it means eating healthy with less, poisonous refined sugar, building muscle at the gym, and doing yoga with a teacher that cherishes herself and spreads that love around. Thank you for listening! I mention Rodney Yee's Yoga: https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=rodney+yee+yoga&view=detail&mid=BD0CEE063F443617E2C9BD0CEE063F443617E2C9&FORM=VIRE Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Oct 12, 2022 • 18min
Episode 46: Politeness vs. Phoniness
When does culturally appropriate "politeness" border on phoniness? That was a question I started pondering recently. Is it really polite if we act one way in front of people but rip them to shreds behind their backs? I myself am wrestling with how I can stay polite, yet authentic. That's the balance I want so I can be true to myself. I tell a story of my reckoning over trying to curb my people-pleasing behaviors in order to be more true to myself. It's hard for me to be authentic, but I have to get more to that side or else I end up with resentments. You might hear a little anger here in this episode. I'm human and I'm working on it. Thanks for listening, Survivors. Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Oct 3, 2022 • 24min
Episode 45: How Verbal Abuse in Childhood Affects My Life Today
Do you believe that the emotional injuries you suffered in childhood stick with you until they are processed? Or do you think we can just "keep them in the past" and deny they exist? I know from experience that I'm not able to sweep what happened to me as a child under the rug. I've been suffering from a lot of insomnia related to my perfectionism and workaholism. My brain wants to wake up in the middle of the night and fight fires. The "fires" are my brain's perception of mistakes I've made throughout the day and things I should do better next time. This stems from a deep fear I have of messing up and then getting yelled at or shamed for how I'm never good enough. I unconsciously believe that if I'm not perfect, I will get in trouble with authority figures, or maybe, die. It's that serious in my body. This is directly connected to the verbal abuse my parents inflicted on me in my childhood. So, how do I deal with that now? I share a pathway I've found- using EMDR and Family Systems therapy. I discuss how to comfort that inner child who's so worried she's not doing it right. I hope to reintegrate that fearful part of me into my adult self so that I can (literally) sleep better at night! Thank you for listening! Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Sep 27, 2022 • 17min
Episode 44: Dating Deathtrap #4- Dating Down and Re-Dating
Do you ever date someone who is out of your league in a negative way? I sure have. Partly it's been out of my desire to not hurt people's feelings, give people a chance, and be kind. But there's also another part of dating down that a codependent can get stuck in- dating someone "less than" so that I (unconsciously) can feel like I have control and the upper-hand in the relationship. It's not a conscious decision, but my instinct pulls those matches to me since I operate a lot in the dating world out of fear. What are your thoughts on re-dating the same person? I'll tell you why I think it's a no-no. Thank you for listening! Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Sep 20, 2022 • 25min
Episode 43: Dating Deathtrap #3- Desperation and Low Self-Esteem
How do we know when we are feeling desperate and should take extra precautions while we date? How can we tell if we have low self-worth? Sometimes it's hard to see these things until they're in the rearview. I share three ways you can tell if you're a little desperate or have low self-esteem when dating. I tell a story of a dating relationship I had in 2020 during the pandemic. I was a leetle more desperate for attention and affection than I knew back then. All relationships are here to help us learn and grow. That's why I'm sharing these honest stories with you all. Maybe hearing my experience can help others say no and start to react when they are treated less than they deserve. I mention the helpful book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I recommend. https://www.amazon.com/Verbally-Abusive-Relationship-Expanded-Third/dp/1440504636Thank you for listening! Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Sep 13, 2022 • 21min
Episode 42: Dating Deathtrap #2: Jumping to Conclusions
Trigger Warning! I mildly discuss a date-rape situation in this episode. No major details, just feelings and thoughts about the situation. My third installment in the "Dating Deathtrap" series is about my second relationship after my divorce, which is more than super-cringy. What happened with this man I dated was what plunged me into truly taking therapy and my immediate need for healing seriously. It led me to finding a new therapist who specializes in EMDR. Jumping to conclusions about someone we're dating is a "deathtrap" because on the positive side or the negative side, we're not living in reality. This causes problems and it's a recipe for a dating disaster. I learned from this relationship that even if someone seems like a great person and checks a bunch of boxes on my list of qualities I want in a partner, I need to take my time and pay attention. He could still be a psycho-boundary violator. It's in those more subtle moments that we get to know another person, not necessarily in the big things. Thank you for listening! What's a dating deathtrap for you? Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Sep 6, 2022 • 22min
Episode 41: Dating Deathtrap #1- Believing Words Above Actions
Have you ever wondered about how your mental health relates to the types of partners you attract? I'm two episodes into the juicy topic of mental health coupled with dating. Back in the beginning of my divorce, I was still in victim-mentality. Sadly, I was an easy target for someone to take advantage of in the dating world. I tell the story today about my first time joining a dating app and how that turned out. Let me give you the Cliff's Notes version: not good. It's a cautionary tale to myself and hopefully for others out there who have experienced emotional manipulation in the dating world. Thank you for listening! Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
