Grace + Boundaries: Navigating Intergenerational Trauma with Erin Hearts
Erin Hearts
Grace + Boundaries is a weekly memoir in a podcast! Follow host, Erin Hearts, as she shares how she navigates trauma while setting boundaries from her higher self. Traumas, big or small, can add up to broken relationships within a family. These traumas continue being passed down until we take steps to repair and mend our broken hearts with self-care and psychological education. Gaining emotional maturity is also a large part of the path towards grace and boundaries. Erin has walked the path of trauma recovery for the past decade, and is learning day by day how to evolve from the hurt she feels in order to become the graceful, loving woman she has always intended to be. Erin has a Master's degree in Education, creatively teaches middle school, is a musician, and loves being a single mom to her tweenaged boy. Grace + Boundaries has been the name of this podcast since July 2023. From November 2021- June 2023, this podcast was called "Self-Care for Survivors of Trauma." This podcast is a community of honest, open-minded survivors of all types of trauma, big and small. Each week, host Erin Hearts will discuss an aspect of self-care- emotional, physical, spiritual, etc.- and share how she navigates life's challenges by doing special things for herself and making time for herself each day. Erin believes that learning how to take care of ourselves is the key to healthy relationships with others, and she's devoted the past six years to studying and practicing how to better love and support herself and her loved ones. Erin is a single mom, teacher, musician, and highly sensitive person. Instagram: @iheartserin
Episodes
Mentioned books
Apr 11, 2022 • 20min
Episode 20: Saying No
Have you said no lately? Let's practice. I had to say no this week to someone important: my mom. It was difficult, but it brought me so much freedom. I strive to be my most authentic self, and saying no is part of that. I share the gifts that can come from saying no, and I read a passage from a daily reader that discusses choosing to have a separate identity than those in our family of origin. Book: Strengthening My Recovery: https://www.amazon.com/Strengthening-My-Recovery-ACA-WSO/dp/0996504907 Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Apr 4, 2022 • 24min
Episode 19: Emotional Availability
Are you attracted to emotionally unavailable people? I sadly have been for a lot of my life. Today I talk about why that happens and what we can do to change it. I discuss emotional availability and what that looks like to me today. I end with a story about a best-friendship I had in my 20's and how it masqueraded as deeply emotional, but was probably just a trauma-bond, which of course painfully ended. I mentioned The Artist's Way, a writing program for creatives that helped me learn how to journal: https://www.theartistswaybook.com/?msclkid=649c36ebb45011ecb80347e2332b7046Relationship coach Tracy McMillan: https://www.tracymcmillan.com/?msclkid=71a0a49db45011ec906d4e75e38699ab Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Mar 28, 2022 • 17min
Episode 18: The Joy of Being a Parent, and Learning to Set Limits
Quick- what are three things you love about being a parent? Let's revel for a moment in the joy children bring into our lives. I'm not denying that parenting is the hardest job in the world, but the paradox is that it is also the most joyful, free-spirited fun out there on the planet. I love being a mom. Today I talk about the fun my son had during a sleepover, and how I was able to sit back and enjoy the show. Then, I share a story about my son not wanting to go to bed and the (possibly manipulative) words he chose to try to pump me for more time and attention. I discuss how I've learned to set that bedtime boundary with him. I've taught myself that I need that boundary to be sane and civil. Taking care of me makes me a WAAY better mom. Enjoy! Feel free to message me on Instagram @iheartserin Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Mar 21, 2022 • 21min
Episode 17: Humility as a Ladder to Recovery
What comes to mind when you hear the word humility? To me, it's a strikingly beautiful concept that I see in the natural world that surrounds me. I discuss a situation I went through recently where I had to stick-up for myself on a large-scale. To get through that terrifying time, I relied on my humility, my ability to surrender the outcome of the situation, and belief that if I become the leaf in the stream, all water flow to greater freedom and serenity. Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Mar 14, 2022 • 20min
Episode 16: The Fallout of a Compliant Childhood
Were you a compliant child who did everything your caregivers asked of you to stay in the bounds of their conditional love? I sure was.I was praised for being quiet and following the rules.I was deathly afraid of my own voice, which had the power to get me criticized, mocked, shamed, or rejected. I lost my authenticity and became a sponge to other people's blame.The compliant child gets praised in our society. I was raised to follow that pattern, but I'm working on stopping it by teaching my son how to disagree respectfully and appropriately. What is the problem with raising compliant children? In this episode, I share the negative effects of my childhood compliance in my adulthood. It has kept me immature, not knowing myself, and very codependent in my adult relationships with significant others. Through therapy and a lot of reading, I have learned that I am not responsible for another person's actions, feelings, or choices. But living that assertion and voicing my opinions in love relationships, especially when sex is involved, is a work in progress. How has compliance affected your love relationships? What has been the fallout for you? I was a guest for the first time on another podcast! Listen to me tell how I became a podcaster at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mastering-the-podcaster-mindset/id1594794535?i=1000554321703Podcast: Mastering the Podcaster Mindset with Tiphany Kane and David Sais Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Mar 7, 2022 • 13min
Episode 15: Covert Narcissism and Disconnection
One day in 2015 I Googled the words "Emotional Abuse" and I couldn't believe my eyes! My life was there in black and white. Everything I read lead me back to one word: narcissism. But it wasn't the overt narcissist that I was dealing with. It took me a while longer to learn there is more than one type. We've all heard the word "narcissism" overused, but have you heard of the covert narcissist? These individuals are extra tricky to discover, and usually we only discover them when we are in a very close relationship with one. Even after using the label to help me protect myself from these types of people in my life, I still question myself at times because they can present as such do-gooders in certain areas of their lives. Listen to hear the one golden nugget from my therapist about the true effect of being in a relationship with a covert narcissist. If you think you might be in a relationship with a narcissist, start learning and seek help. Here are some resources that helped me: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/covert-narcissist-signs/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-abuseBook: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37660370-the-covert-passive-aggressive-narcissistBook: 30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics by AB AdminBook: Dodging Energy Vampires By: Christiane Northrup, M. D. Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Feb 28, 2022 • 20min
Episode 14: Sleeplessness, Shame, and EMDR
The speaker discusses their experience with sleeplessness after leaving an abusive marriage and realizing it was caused by anxiety and shame. They reflect on how sleeplessness worsened during their troubled marriage and explore the connection between insomnia, sobriety, and personal growth. They also share their struggle with insomnia and anxiety in their new role as a teacher, and discuss the power of EMDR therapy in addressing anxiety and shame.
Feb 21, 2022 • 24min
Episode 13: Taking my Trauma Seriously after being Life-Coached by Martha Beck
Three years ago, I had the awe-inspiring experience of having the Martha Beck as my life coach. These three sessions were written about in the September, October, and November issues of the O (Oprah) Magazine. Today I share what life-altering advice Martha gave me during those sessions, and how it helped me take my childhood abuse seriously. I discuss the sexual trauma I went through, and how it was preceded by severe emotional neglect in my family of origin. I share my largest take-aways from my life-coaching sessions, and how now, three years after that experience, I'm still reeling from and taking steps towards healing what I learned in those talks. https://marthabeck.com/ https://marthabeck.com/podcasts/ YOU can be the one you've always wanted to take care of you. Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Feb 14, 2022 • 21min
Episode 12: Triggers at the Workplace
Have you ever been emotionally triggered at work? Of course you have, and so have I!Work is a microcosm that demonstrates our internal landscape. It's a mirror to our emotional inner-needs, just as all relationships with others can be. As a survivor of trauma, I feel that my lower self-esteem and reliance on approval of others gets triggered often. Now that I am aware of these psychological occurrences, I can take the time to sooth myself when these things happen.I discuss how a traumatic experience from my childhood got recreated with my bosses at work, how workaholism lead me to burn-out, and how today I stop and regroup when I'm overwhelmed. I take the time to validate myself and practice becoming that loving parent that takes emotion care of me the way I deserve. YOU can be the one you've always wanted to take care of you. Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
Feb 7, 2022 • 15min
Episode 11: Delectable Delights of February 2022
In my Delectable Delights series, I discuss five things that make life worth living for me at this moment: a show, music, book, podcast, and food. Today I discuss: 1. The movie The Lost Daughter: http://netflix.comhttp://news.yahoo.com/olivia-colman-maggie-gyllenhaal-dig-133052109.html2. Author: Elena Ferrante (Italian author) http://elenaferrante.com/The Lying Life of AdultsMy Brilliant Friend3. Podcast: Unapologetically Sensitive with Patricia Young: http://unapologeticallysensitive.com/4. Food: Heavenly Hunks Oatmeal Chocolate Chip bites: https://Amazon.comNo-bake Energy Bites Recipe: http://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/239969/no-bake-energy-bites/5. Music: Tori Amos http://www.toriamos.comWinter, Crucify, A Sorta Fairytale, God, and on and on... http://www.spotify.com to try them outYOU can be the one you've always wanted to take care of you. Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!
