MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel

Monogamous romantic relationships have been seen as the norm for a long time. They’re the kind most commonly represented in the media, often as the only “right” kind of relationship. However, open relationships, polyamory, and other consensual non-monogamous relationships are more common than you might think. People with ADHD often find ways of living life outside of the typical standard. This could include being non-monogamous!Martha Kauppi is a marriage and family therapist and sex therapist. She is the author of the book Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients). Listen to this conversation on jealousy, reaching agreements with your partner, and what consensual non-monogamy really is.Related resourcesPolyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients) by Martha Kauppi8 Steps To Opening Up: Starting The Conversation About Non-Monogamy, a Free eBook by Martha KauppiMartha Kauppi’s website, www.instituteforrelationalintimacy.comTimestamps(00:55) Why learn about consensual non-monogamy?(04:04) What is consensual non-monogamy?(05:36) What is the biggest misconception about non-monogamy?(08:40) Building a relationship that works for you, not just what you see in the media(11:46) Viewing non-monogamy as an option in life(15:42) Moving toward consensual non-monogamy in a relational way(21:03) How would you start a conversation about opening your currently monogamous relationship?(24:20) Tips for working through jealousy (25:35) What is compersion?(30:13) It’s OK if non-monogamy isn’t for you! (32:10) Where can you find Martha? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Dr. Monica Johnson, a licensed psychologist specialized in ADHD, dives into the intricate relationship between ADHD and eating habits. She explores how distractions and forgetfulness impact meal planning and eating routines, especially for women. The discussion highlights common issues like impulsive eating and emotional bingeing, while also offering practical tips for cultivating healthier patterns. Dr. Johnson emphasizes the importance of enjoying food without guilt, promoting a balanced approach to eating that enhances overall well-being.

Jessica McCabe, creator of the YouTube channel 'How to ADHD', shares her journey from diagnosis at 12 to understanding ADHD at 32. She discusses the transformative moment when ADHD medication made her feel 'normal' and how it boosted her confidence. Jessica opens up about the struggles of being a new mom with ADHD, including navigating social anxiety and postpartum challenges. She also highlights the importance of community support and shares insights on breaking the stigma around ADHD medication.

Individuals with ADHD excel at problem-solving for others, but often struggle with their own challenges. The emotional dysregulation they experience can make it difficult to advocate for themselves. In this discussion, the complexities of transitioning from school to work are revealed, along with the irony of ADHD coaches facing their own organizational hurdles. Tips focus on fostering self-compassion and adapting personal goals for better emotional processing and growth, empowering listeners to navigate their unique journeys.

Navigating social events can be daunting, especially for women with ADHD and social anxiety. The struggle often involves over-preparation and the fear of saying the wrong thing. Insights into how ADHD exacerbates social anxiety reveal practical strategies for managing these feelings. Techniques like 'putting a clock on it' help minimize stress during interactions. Personal reflections provide a glimpse into resilience, inspiring listeners to tackle societal pressures with confidence.

If you have ADHD, the science says you’re much more likely to have a substance use disorder in your life than someone who’s neurotypical. ADHD brains often lack dopamine. Drugs and alcohol can provide a hit of dopamine, albeit a temporary one. That’s why it’s so common for people with untreated ADHD to self-medicate. Elaine O’Brien used to fit that ADHD archetype to a tee. Eventually, though, she entered recovery and also started practicing Ashtanga yoga, a style that she describes as “very rigorous and very codified.”She fell for the physicality of the practice and the routine it demands. “It got me in my body and I started to feel good,” she says. “I really started to feel good.”For years, Elaine had struggled with substance issues and untreated ADHD. She’s been in recovery for almost two decades but recently began to wonder if the ADHD diagnosis she’d rejected in high school might actually be right.How did her journey take this path? Listen to this week’s Hyperfocus episode to find out. Related resourcesElaine’s studio: Second Story Pilates and YogaStudy: Medication reduces risk of drug abuse for people with ADHDADHD and addiction: Knowledge is powerDoes exercise help ADHD?Timestamps(3:04) Elaine’s diagnosis story(7:09) ADHD and substance use(13:52) Exercise and sobriety(19:28) “Isn’t your job to help people calm down?”To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

People with ADHD can benefit from having routines and systems that help them cope. But, what happens when life comes into play and throws that routine off?This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about what can happen when we get thrown off our game by special life circumstances like getting sick or moving. Listen for some tips that can help get you back on track.Related resourcesADHD and hormones (Cate Osborn’s story)Timestamps(00:51) Cate’s quote(02:39) ADHD and hormones(03:58) “Exception moments,” or temporary states when our life is a bit different than usual(06:15) How can we help ourselves during these periods?(11:29) RecapFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.orgHave a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Margie DeSantis, producer of the Sorry, I Missed This podcast, dives into the unique challenges women with ADHD face in romance. She shares captivating subreddit posts, shedding light on quirky dating dilemmas. Topics include the struggle of managing romantic expectations, the pressure of the 'manic pixie dream girl' stereotype, and the emotional complexities of love. With humor and honesty, they discuss how ADHD affects relationship dynamics, communication, and the importance of authenticity in navigating love.

Women with ADHD often wrestle with the heavy burden of depression, leading to feelings of exhaustion and discouragement. The discussion highlights how ADHD symptoms can easily be mistaken for depression, complicating diagnosis. Dr. Monica Johnson sheds light on the interplay between these conditions, revealing their impact on daily life. Listeners also gain valuable insights into effective strategies for managing this dual struggle, making it a must-listen for anyone facing these challenges.

Editor's note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and self-harm. Please take care when listening and skip this one if you need to.Dr. Stephen Hinshaw is one of the leading voices when it comes to ADHD in women and girls. That’s in large part due to his work on The Berkeley Girls Study. (Its full name is The Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study, but most people know it by that shorthand or acronym: The BGALs Study.)Under Steve’s leadership, researchers began studying 140 girls with ADHD and a control group of nearly 90 girls without it. They’ve been following these girls into their adulthood, producing a reams of information that has helped shape current understanding of ADHD in women and girls. That said, Rae Jacobson had plenty of questions for Steve: Why did you want to study ADHD in girls at a time when it was typically seen as a boys’ disorder? Why is it that one type of ADHD seems to lead to such negative outcomes? What do we do about the stigma that still surrounds the disorder? Related resourcesSteve’s booksThe 3 types of ADHDHow ADHD can affect your mental healthTimestamps(2:20) The beginnings of The Berkeley Girls study(4:26) Combined-type ADHD and negative outcomes(9:18) Self-esteem, ADHD, and girlhood(16:20) ADHD as a “trend”(20:40) What to do about ADHD stigma   To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.  Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give