MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel

Exploring the link between ADHD and oversharing, insights reveal how impulsivity and emotional dysregulation drive women to disclose too much. The discussion delves into personal boundaries, navigating the complexities of intimacy in conversations, and the unintended consequences of oversharing in relationships. Strategies for mindful communication emerge, emphasizing active listening and boundary management to foster healthier interactions. The unique challenges faced by women with ADHD are examined, making for a relatable and informative dialogue.

This week on the show, I’m hyperfocusing not on a topic or a question, but a person: the neurodivergent comedian and actor Emma Willmann. You might know Emma from her comedy (she’s done stand-up on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert) or her acting (she played “Beth” on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend).But I didn’t want to know about any of that. I wanted to spend some time with the person who has made a career out of smart, inclusive humor and understand how she does it. Plus, we talk about her ADHD and dyslexia diagnoses.Related resourcesEmma’s websiteEmma on InstagramListen: How to manage ADHD at workADHD and creativityTimestamps(1:58) Breaking up with your phone(5:39) Comparing and contrasting ADHD types(9:53) If you could get rid of your ADHD, would you?  (15:04) Is ADHD good for a stand-up comic?For a transcript and more resources, visit the Hyperfocus page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sometimes when we start on something important with ADHD, we find ourselves unable to make any real progress on it. This can be really frustrating, but that frustration doesn’t always turn into focus. This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye tackles what happens when we’ve gotten ourselves to start work on something important, but our brains aren’t working with us. Listen for some tips to help when stuck in an unproductive headspace.Related resourcesRachel’s How’d You Get THAT Job?!  episode, Changing focus between two jobs fights off my ADHD boredomHow the Five-Second Rule changed my ADHD lifeTrouble getting work done is real. Executive function challenges may be the culprit.Timestamps(00:46) Rachel’s quote(01:53) Being set up to start a task, but unable to make any progress(02:56) Differences in neurotransmitter activity(05:37) Personal ideal stimulation points(08:45) What can we do to help?(12:52) Recap and creditsFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Romantic partners often support and help each other out with different things. And with ADHD in the relationship, there might be some extra support needed here and there. But what happens when that support crosses the line into parentification, or taking care of your partner like they’re your child? Or the other way around, where your partner is responsible for taking care of you?Psychologist Lesley Cook (@lesleypsyd) visits the podcast to talk about how to notice parentification happening in your relationship, and the resentment that can build when it goes unnoticed. Related resourcesLesley’s TikTok, @lesleypsydA Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle FrankTimestamps(03:03) What is a parentified relationship?(05:37) When an ADHD partner is the “parent” in the relationship or takes on too much responsibility(07:33) Are parentified relationships typically gendered?(08:48) Fairness versus equity in relationships(11:44) Weaponized incompetence(14:49) What happens to a relationship when it’s parentified for too long?(17:19) Notice, shift, repair(18:45) What to do when you notice yourself taking on too much responsibility for your partner(21:08) People pleasing, and the need to fix things(22:46) How to ask the right questions to your partner(24:07) Noticing your ADHD at play, and using it as an explanation, not an excuse(28:02) Setting an example as a parent to kids(32:24) Lesley’s parting advice(33:00) Where you can find Lesley and creditsFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Shame often looms large for women with ADHD, influencing self-image and relationships. The discussion delves into how societal expectations exacerbate these feelings. Practical strategies are shared to help women cultivate self-compassion and manage emotional challenges. Listeners are encouraged to confront shame and embrace healthier coping mechanisms. This enlightening conversation fosters understanding and encourages empowerment in navigating ADHD.

Sometimes, our brains spiral and it seems like there’s nothing we can do about it. This can happen to anyone. Maybe you have an awkward social interaction and can’t stop thinking about it — then your mind jumps to worse and worse scenarios, far from what actually happened. And for those of us with ADHD, it can be extra difficult to exit that spiral. A situation like this happened to Rae Jacobson recently. Thankfully, she had an interview on the books with Dr. Jodi Gold, a psychiatrist who also has ADHD. Jodi specializes in psychotherapy of anxiety and mood disorders — perfect. On this episode of Hyperfocus, Rae and Jodi have an impromptu therapy session featuring a discussion of automatic thoughts, mood dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity. And, yes, “ADHD rabbit holes.”Related resourcesThe influence of ADHD on social skillsAnxiety, imposter syndrome, and ADHD (Mallory’s story)What is perseveration?Timestamps(2:23) Rae’s situation(6:56) What do we really mean by “rabbit hole?”(13:00) On automatic thoughts(17:53) Masking and people-pleasingWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.For a transcript and more resources, visit the Hyperfocus page on Understood. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD traits such as forgetfulness and impulsivity are often viewed as ‘bad behavior’ while growing up. Kids with ADHD might get punished for these things that are actually due to their brains working differently. So what happens when these kids grow up into adults with ADHD? Some might continue to punish themselves.This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye breaks down why the threat of punishment is not the most effective motivator for people with ADHD, and gives some tips that can help end the cycle. Related resourcesMasking ADHD symptoms to go above and beyond (René Brooks’ story)Behavior: What is it and how can parents affect it?  7 discipline tips when your child has ADHDTimestamps(00:41) René’s quote(02:18) ADHD is not defiance(05:01) Ways we punish ourselves(06:28) How can we motivate ourselves without punishment?(11:05) RecapFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Monogamous romantic relationships have been seen as the norm for a long time. They’re the kind most commonly represented in the media, often as the only “right” kind of relationship. However, open relationships, polyamory, and other consensual non-monogamous relationships are more common than you might think. People with ADHD often find ways of living life outside of the typical standard. This could include being non-monogamous!Martha Kauppi is a marriage and family therapist and sex therapist. She is the author of the book Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients). Listen to this conversation on jealousy, reaching agreements with your partner, and what consensual non-monogamy really is.Related resourcesPolyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients) by Martha Kauppi8 Steps To Opening Up: Starting The Conversation About Non-Monogamy, a Free eBook by Martha KauppiMartha Kauppi’s website, www.instituteforrelationalintimacy.comTimestamps(00:55) Why learn about consensual non-monogamy?(04:04) What is consensual non-monogamy?(05:36) What is the biggest misconception about non-monogamy?(08:40) Building a relationship that works for you, not just what you see in the media(11:46) Viewing non-monogamy as an option in life(15:42) Moving toward consensual non-monogamy in a relational way(21:03) How would you start a conversation about opening your currently monogamous relationship?(24:20) Tips for working through jealousy (25:35) What is compersion?(30:13) It’s OK if non-monogamy isn’t for you! (32:10) Where can you find Martha? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Dr. Monica Johnson, a licensed psychologist specialized in ADHD, dives into the intricate relationship between ADHD and eating habits. She explores how distractions and forgetfulness impact meal planning and eating routines, especially for women. The discussion highlights common issues like impulsive eating and emotional bingeing, while also offering practical tips for cultivating healthier patterns. Dr. Johnson emphasizes the importance of enjoying food without guilt, promoting a balanced approach to eating that enhances overall well-being.

Jessica McCabe, creator of the YouTube channel 'How to ADHD', shares her journey from diagnosis at 12 to understanding ADHD at 32. She discusses the transformative moment when ADHD medication made her feel 'normal' and how it boosted her confidence. Jessica opens up about the struggles of being a new mom with ADHD, including navigating social anxiety and postpartum challenges. She also highlights the importance of community support and shares insights on breaking the stigma around ADHD medication.