Dear Dr. Tracy

Growing up we learn so much from our mothers and growing up the messaging we receive is "obey thy mother."The things we learned from our mothers growing up and the way they coped in the world show up in us, throughout our lives.ButWhat if our mother was wrong?What if they are passing along their own trauma?What if they cross our boundaries and teach us not to listen to ourselves?Bethany Webster began blogging in 2013 about the Mother Wound and quickly experienced a worldwide demand for her work. Though blending research on intergenerational trauma, feminist history, and psychology with her own personal story, Bethany's work is the result of decades of research and her own journey of healing.She is a writer, international speaker, and transformational coach around the world sharing her growing body of work that is raising the standard of women's leadership and personal development. In this episode, we discuss: What is the Mother Wound? How does shame, guilt, and fear play a role? What does the Mother Wound look like for women? Why is it important to heal it? What happens in our lives when we are willing to heal? To Learn with Bethany: Visit her website Check out her book Learn more about her online course Join her facebook group Join me in my community! Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more What’s Coming Next?Healing after conflict: why you need repair in your relationship with special guest Dr. Morgan Anderson.Subscribe and Review in iTunesLovely Addition to Personal + Couple's Therapy“I just love listening to her podcasts. Super resourceful and I definitely recommend taking a listen" ~ Afireinside7I would love to hear from you. I would be so grateful if you left me a review on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say about the episode, but also so that others who might benefit from listening to this podcast can find it!Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” I can’t wait to hear from you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You finally have a minute to pause and relax. As you hold your cup of coffee, just heated up for the fourth time, and look around your house, you feel overwhelmed.How can you relax when the mess keeps triggering you?I get it. There can be so much stuff in our homes that we stop feeling happy in our space, get stuck getting rid of things, and in general, feel a sense of overwhelm by everything going on.Enter Katy Wells. She is a decluttering expert, podcaster, and simplifier, a boy mom, and she knows how to help you declutter your home and your life. In this episode, we discuss: Why are we so triggered by mess? What are the negative thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that come up with mess? Identifying when your "stuff" owns you, and what you can do to shift out of this Letting go of things that feel sentimental And Katy's top tips to help you start living a simplified and decluttered life To Learn with Katy: Follow Katy on Instagram Take her 14-day challenge Check out her toy course Join me in my community! Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more What’s Coming Next?The Mother wound with Bethany Webster.Subscribe and Review in iTunesLovely Addition to Personal + Couple's Therapy“I just love listening to her podcasts. Super resourceful and I definitely recommend taking a listen" ~ Afireinside7I would love to hear from you. I would be so grateful if you left me a review on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say about the episode, but also so that others who might benefit from listening to this podcast can find it! Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” I can’t wait to hear from you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A client once told me through tears that she hadn't been honouring her, and she pointed to her body.I could see reflected in her face the experiences of so many women - including me.It wasn't just a week of not listening to her body. It was years. Possibly her whole lifetime.We build these inner dialogues and narratives around our bodies and food, many of them being unconscious that guide us to make daily decisions. Some of these decisions leave us feeling good, albeit temporarily. While many of these are more examples of ways that we deeply abandon ourselves - the inner wisdom that our bodies hold.In this episode, I'm sitting down with Dr. Meagan Gallagher, psychologist at Integrated Wellness, on how we can start to listen to our bodies and goss these old messages around size, food, and body.  In this episode, we discuss: The common harmful and negative messages we learn about our bodies Breaking the connection between body size and self-worth (hint: stop saying to yourself that you'll do something when you lose those 5 pounds) The connection between stress and food (and how we can use our bodies to shift this) Learning to sit in discomfort and acknowledging that our bodies are noisy How to support someone if you suspect they are struggling with their body When to seek professional help Join me in my community! Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your partner share everything with their parents?This episode dives into this topic after receiving a question from one of our community members. In this episode, we discuss: What kind of impact could sharing everything with your extended family/mother-in-law have on you? Your relationship with your partner? Your relationship with their family? Exploring triangulation and scapegoat dynamics Key questions for you to explore within yourself The reason behind your partner's sharing How to move forward Join me in my community! Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the most common complaints I receive is, "We never talk about the hard stuff."What's the barrier to turning towards each other and talking?For many, it's time.For others, it's not wanting to upset the other person.Dr. Morgan Cutlip joins me on the podcast for this episode. Dr. Morgan is a relationship expert and owner of My Love Thinks. If you are struggling with the mental load, be sure to check out Season 2 Episode 6 and Dr. Morgan's great Instagram space @MyLoveThinks. Dr. Morgan and I also have a boundary webinar that we created together. In this episode, Dr. Morgan and I break apart all the details around the Weekly Check-In Meeting - a key strategy we encourage all of our clients to use. We talk about: The common objections to the weekly meeting How attachment styles may play a role in approaching our partners and how the weekly meeting can help you navigate this How we can tackle these barriers Why this meeting matters Our top question to put in this meeting And our confession - do we use this tool in our relationships? I want to hear from you. What ONE question would you want to ask each other this week?Join me in my community! Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're getting ready for another holiday season. With Passover, Good Friday, Easter, Eastern Orthodox Easter, and Ramadan coming up, it seemed like a great time to ask you, my community, some important questions about family get togethers and talk about how you want to show up.When it comes to family gatherings, 46% of you feel "okay negative" about them.In this episode, we talk about: What you can and cannot control when it comes to our family, including acknowledging a key emotion that shows up here Shifting towards consciously choosing so that you can show up aligned Being a united front with your partner Join me in my community! Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more Many said you have negative feelings about things you cannot control (86%). That's a lot!One of the things we must recognize is that family gatherings bring out things that we have no control over, including: Other's views of you Toxic behaviours and comments When others push your boundaries ... and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For the parents who just want their child to be happy.When I told my daughter that I just needed five minutes before I could rub her back at bedtime, she screamed at me. And what I did next was not my best moment. I could feel it coming over me. I screamed back at her. I know so many parents get to this point - the exhaustion and overwhelm. The Demands. Being pulled in so many directions.We raise our voice. We show up not aligned with how we want to. We maybe even slip into shame.It was my luck that I was sitting with Dr. Shefali the next day for the podcast. It was my luck that I was sitting with Dr. Shefali the next day for the podcast. Dr. Shefali is an acclaimed author, international speaker, and clinical psychologist. In this episode, we talk about: Navigating one of the hardest relationships in our life - with our children When our expectations are not met and setting our own boundaries Building compassion with ourselves as parents How do we approach the meltdowns How do I get my partner to do this work too To learn more about Dr. Shefali: Visit her website Check out her coaching program Follow her on instagram Join me in my community! Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more What’s Coming Next?I'm answering your questions in preparation for another holiday. How can we navigate difficult situations with our in-laws and family?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's podcast, I answer your question.Q. Dear Dr. Tracy. Every time I try to share something with my partner, he goes and makes it about himself. Recently, I was trying to share about an issue with my sister. He got so heated and upset - we've had frequent conflict about my sister - that I ended up stop asking for the support that I needed. I'm not sure what to do in these moments, but I do know that resentment is building up and it doesn't feel good. - Nicole In this episode, we discuss: Different ways to approach a conversation Recognizing why your partner might do this How to respond at two different times Looking for more: Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more What’s Coming Next?I sit down with Dr. Shefali and dive into the world of conscious parenting.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that 1 in 4 couples sleep in separate beds?1Despite this common experience, many people continue to feel a lot of stigma around speaking out about their need for a restful night's sleep - which may mean sleeping in a different room from your lover.People tend to learn that there must be something wrong with a relationship if a couple is sleeping in separate beds.There is a term for sleeping in separate beds that contributes to this learned stigma: "Sleep divorce." This term implies that sleeping apart is a sign of a relationship lacking in love and sex.But what if you continue to sleep in the same bed with restless night's sleep? Does your relationship improve or deteriorate? Are you more snappy and short with your partner the next day because their snoring kept you awake? Or maybe you feel a missing desire for your partner because you're the one waking with the baby all the time.I invited Renee Reina, Ph.D. in Psychology and host of the top-ranking parenting podcast "The Mom Room" to break through the stigma and talk about prioritizing sleep and continuing to nurture our relationships.In this episode, we discuss: Renee's community's surprising response to her disclosure of sleeping in separate rooms Early messaging around parents not sharing beds The relationship progression she experienced in terms of bed sharing and sleeping with her partner When sleeping in separate beds works - and when it doesn't Prioritizing and making choices to nurture her relationship Links: Listen to Renee's progression of their relationship and sleep, tune into Episode 44 Tune into our episode together on Mom Room about resentment and relationships  Join me in my online community, Be Connected, to learn how to improve your communication and connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our collective experiences recently have been beyond challenging. The frequent suggestions of "go for a walk" are often not enough anymore.Enter Eve Rodsky, an expert in family mediation and organizational management, and author of New York Time's bestselling book Fair Play and Finding Your Unicorn Space. Her message to us is to burn our guilt and get rid of other toxic messages that stop us from doing the very thing we need to find ourselves - and that is to find our Unicorn Space.Eve and I talk about finding your creative space to ensure a life lived aligned with your values.In this episode, we discuss: Why women are so burnt out What is the Unicorn Space and why it's so important 3 permissions you need to give yourself (Hint: something you need to do with your guilt!) Taking responsibility and choosing discomfort over comfort To Learn With Eve: Visit her website Follow her on instagram Check out her newest book Join Me in My Community: Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take my free quiz Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Join my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship Visit my website for more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices