Sex for Saints

In this episode, we’re diving into something that can quietly wear down even the strongest relationships: the Two-Choice Dilemma, a concept from Dr. David Schnarch. It’s what happens when you feel stuck between two hard options—like speaking up and risking conflict, or staying quiet and feeling invisible. It often shows up in marriage, especially around sex and emotional connection. Let’s talk about how growth in a relationship isn’t pain-free, and why it’s so tempting to wait for a magical third option that doesn’t exist. Instead, real change starts when you face your own discomfort, manage your own anxiety, and make choices that are honest even when they’re hard. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your marriage, like you’re doing the emotional work alone, or like every option feels like a loss, this episode will give you something to think about and some real encouragement to keep going.

What I often see from those who listen to this podcast, or even from my clients, is that they want a quick fix to their problems in the bedroom. They think that if they learn the right position, or the perfect rhythm, or how to last longer, that it will magically fix all the issues they’re having. So let me say again….Better sex is not about technique. Technique won’t spark your desire again. Technique won’t make you feel wanted again. But it does feel like the easy answer. So if technique won’t do those things, what will? Let’s talk about what the harder work actually looks like, why we avoid it, and what’s possible when we stop skimming the surface and go deeper.

When your spouse suggests trying something new sexually, like a different position, a toy, or even roleplay, it can catch you off guard. Maybe your first thought is, “Where did that come from?” and your second is, “Do I have to say yes to this to make them happy?” These moments can stir up all kinds of questions: Is this who they really are? Is something missing in our relationship? Are they getting ideas from somewhere else? In this episode, we’re slowing that moment down. Instead of jumping to fear or assumptions, we’re taking a closer look at what’s really going on. Why do we want to try new things in the first place? What do those desires actually mean and what don’t they mean? We’ll talk about how to approach these conversations with curiosity and compassion, and how being honest about our desires can actually bring us closer. Because trying something new doesn’t mean your marriage is broken - it might be an invitation to grow, together.  

Have you ever felt like no matter how much you grow or how open you are to trying new things, it still doesn’t feel like enough for your partner? Maybe they’re asking for more - more intimacy, more variety, more connection, more emotional depth - and despite your efforts, you feel like you're always falling short. In this thought provoking episode, we explore what’s really happening in relationships where one partner feels like they can never give enough, and the other seems to always want something more. We take a closer look at both perspectives to understand the emotions, expectations, and deeper needs that are often hidden beneath the surface. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling inadequate or misunderstood in your relationship, this episode offers insight, compassion, and a path toward greater understanding and connection.

Are you the one who always initiates sex in your relationship, and you’re starting to feel burnt out by it? In this episode, we explore a common dynamic I see in coaching: the higher desire partner feeling like they’re carrying the full weight of initiation, facing repeated rejection, and wondering if they’re the only one who still wants intimacy. We’ll unpack why this happens, what constant initiating can do to a relationship, and whether stepping back might actually help, or hurt, your connection. If you’ve ever asked yourself, ‘Why am I the only one trying?’ this episode is for you.

Do you ever feel frustrated when your spouse doesn’t want sex the same way, or as often, as you do? In this episode, we explore how rigid expectations around sex can lead to disconnection and resentment in marriage. You’ll hear why focusing too much on “your” version of sex can actually block the emotional intimacy you're craving. Whether it's about initiation, frequency, or what “real” sex looks like, we’ll unpack how to move from frustration to deeper connection. This is a conversation about letting go of control and rediscovering what sex can truly mean for your relationship.

Ever found yourself pulled out of a beautiful, intimate moment by the thought, “Ugh, now I have to clean up”? You’re definitely not alone. For many women, post-sex cleanup can feel like an annoying chore that disrupts connection and intimacy. In this episode, we’re getting real about why this moment matters—and how to simplify the cleanup process so you can stay present, connected, and fully enjoy that sweet afterglow with your spouse.

Discover how sacred covenants in the Temple can reshape your views on intimacy and connection. Dive into the importance of authenticity and vulnerability in marriage. Explore how these principles foster deeper emotional and spiritual bonds. Learn how temple covenants serve as a roadmap for personal growth, guiding couples from duty to desire. Plus, find out about a live class designed to help couples invest in their relationships. Whether you're seeking more meaning in love or spirituality, this conversation is a must-listen.

Does sex in your marriage ever feel like a power struggle? You're not alone. Whether you're the partner who wants sex more often or the one who wants it less, the imbalance can create tension, guilt, and frustration on both sides. In my normal open and honest way, we are going to discuss why the lower-desire partner often ends up in control of the sexual rhythm in a relationship. We’ll dive into the emotional weight both partners carry, explore how this dynamic affects connection, and share practical ways to shift from a tug-of-war into a true partnership. If you’re ready to stop feeling powerless or pressured and start working with your spouse instead of against them, don’t miss this episode.

Katelyn Peach, Doctor of Physical Therapy, is back for this episode where we talk about pelvic floor physical therapy for men. One of the biggest misconceptions that Katelyn sees in her practice is that men think that they either don’t have a pelvic floor or since they don’t have babies, their pelvic floor is never an issue. This is far from the truth! Katelyn lets us know how pelvic floor issues affect men, what she can do, and even what your first visit will look like. If you or your husband has pain in the pelvic floor area, this is the episode to listen to! Did you miss last week’s episode where we talked to Katelyn about pelvic floor physical therapy for women? You can find that here. Katelyn Peach is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, specializing in pelvic floor physical therapy. She treats patients of all genders and ages with a variety of pelvic floor conditions, including sexual dysfunction, bowel and bladder issues, pelvic pain, and pregnancy/postpartum.  Katelyn received her Bachelor's degree in Exercise Science from Brigham Young University, an d her Doctorate of Physical Therapy from Rocky Mountain University. She has continued her education through Herman and Wallace Pelvic Rehabilitation Institute to specialize in pelvic floor. She currently works in a cash-based clinic in Murray, UT - Well Being Physical Therapy.  In her spare time, Katelyn enjoys spending time with her husband and 3 kids, dancing, reading, and baking all things sourdough.  You can find more information on her clinic's website, wellbeingphysicaltherapy.com, on Instagram @wellbeingphysicaltherapy, or on their Facebook page, www.facebook.com/pelvicphysicaltherapy.