Sex for Saints

Episode 401 - Lies Your Brain Tells You About Sex

Dec 26, 2025
Discover how your brain's instinct to prioritize safety sabotages sexual connection in marriage. Learn about the stories rooted in past experiences that shape your beliefs. Higher-desire and lower-desire partners face unique lies that perpetuate fear and disconnection. Explore practical ways to recognize and challenge these damaging thoughts. Curiosity becomes a tool to foster intimacy, moving from confusion to clarity. This conversation sheds light on transforming your relationship with sex by reframing harmful narratives.
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INSIGHT

Brain Prioritizes Safety Over Sexual Connection

  • The brain's primary job is safety, not happiness, so it treats sexual vulnerability as threat.
  • That protective wiring causes the brain to spin convincing but often false stories about sex and rejection.
INSIGHT

Amygdala Treats Sexual Risk Like Physical Threat

  • The amygdala treats emotional risk like physical threat, so sexual uncertainty triggers the same alarm system.
  • That leads people to prefer painful explanations over uncertainty, filling in blanks with worst-case stories.
ANECDOTE

Lindsay's Worst-Case Story About No Initiation

  • Lindsay assumes Carter doesn't find her attractive after he skips initiating for three weeks.
  • The reality is Carter's stress, poor sleep, and performance anxiety explain his low initiation, not Lindsay's attractiveness.
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