Modern Masculinity

Hector sits down with award-winning podcaster and fellow storyteller Matt Gilhooly to explore the unraveling of Hector’s past relationship and the identity crisis that followed his greatest professional success. Together, they peel back the layers of ego, childhood conditioning, and the craving for external validation that many men silently carry. With emotional honesty and unflinching vulnerability, Hector shares what it means to look “successful” on the outside but feel disconnected on the inside — and how that dissonance became the catalyst for a new journey toward wholeness. This episode is a raw look into the modern masculine experience: the hidden shame, the healing process, and the redemptive power of reflection.Chapters:0:00:00 - Welcome to the Episode That Changes Everything00:02:03 - Opening the Vault: Where the Real Story Begins00:02:59 - Young Love, Old Patterns: The Roots of It All00:05:07 - Success, Ego, and the Illusion of “Having It All”00:09:44 - Marriage Starts Fast… But So Do the Cracks00:13:25 - Craving Control While Losing Connection00:15:18 - When Identity Collides with Intimacy00:17:42 - The Slow Burn of Resentment00:20:11 - Seeking Peace but Breeding Distance00:22:47 - The Relationship Becomes a Mirror You Avoid00:25:32 - Fatherhood Hits Harder Than Expected00:33:56 - Health Scares, Family Shifts, and the Weight of It All00:34:53 - The “Perfect” Neighborhood That Didn’t Fix Everything00:35:36 - Parenting Together While Drifting Apart00:36:47 - When Validation Replaces Connection00:37:30 - The Vasectomy That Said More Than Words00:39:39 - Speaking, But Not Hearing: When Communication Fails00:42:43 - Spiraling: The Pain Beneath the Patterns00:45:35 - Reclaiming Identity After Losing Yourself00:56:27 - Co-Parenting in the Aftermath: Navigating a New Normal00:01:00:56 - What Purpose Feels Like After the Breakdown00:01:03:28 - Wrapping Up: Reflections, Resources, and What’s NextLinks And Resources:WebsiteThe Life Shift PodcastInstagramTwitter/XHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector Santiesteban welcomes back Ed Frauenheim, co-author of Reinventing Masculinity and co-founder of The Teal Team, for a timely and timeless discussion on evolving manhood. Ed takes us deep into his current work challenging the "Tough Guy Show" culture—especially in traditionally masculine spaces like the ski industry—and sheds light on how that outdated performance is mirrored in global leadership. Together, they unpack the emotional, societal, and spiritual costs of stoicism, and why today's man must learn to embrace vulnerability, interdependence, and self-reflection to grow. Whether you're navigating fatherhood, rethinking your career, or searching for community, this conversation offers a compass toward something more grounded, authentic, and liberating.Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome to the Masculine Shift00:01:39 - Chaos, Headlines & Our Mental State00:02:39 - Rethinking Manhood in Real Time00:04:49 - Panic, Purpose, and Personal Truths00:06:59 - Scrolling, Boundaries & Staying Grounded00:09:06 - Power, Pressure & Performing Masculinity00:12:45 - Is Vulnerability Still Seen as Weakness?00:15:08 - Trump, Culture, and the Mirror of Manhood00:18:22 - What Are We Teaching Young Men?00:21:30 - Redefining Strength Through Collaboration00:23:42 - Who’s Really Holding the Power?00:29:17 - Hope for Young Men & the Road AheadLinks And Resources:WebsiteThe Teal TeamEd Frauenheim on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector is joined by Kevin Cronister—father of five, cybercrimes detective, and CEO of Guardian Training Solutions—to explore one of the most urgent and uncomfortable threats facing modern families: the growing epidemic of online child exploitation. Kevin pulls back the curtain on the grooming process, shares how predators infiltrate games like Roblox and Fortnite, and explains why a strong, present father figure is the #1 deterrent to child predators. This episode delivers vital tools, real-world stories, and a framework for men who want to embody the protector archetype in a rapidly evolving digital world. It's not just about fear—it's about informed, masculine leadership that protects the most vulnerable. If you're a father or aspire to be one, this episode is a must-listen.Chapters:00:00:00 - Kicking Off a Must-Hear Conversation for Every Man00:00:56 - Enter Kevin Chronister: Protector, Father, Detective00:01:11 - How the Predator Playbook Has Evolved00:02:00 - Why Dads Can’t Afford to Sit This One Out00:03:35 - Kevin's Raw Story: Juggling Fatherhood and Fighting Crime00:07:32 - 36 Million Reasons This Crisis Can’t Be Ignored00:10:25 - How Online Predators Are Grooming Kids—And Getting Away With It00:17:10 - The Superpower Predators Fear Most: An Engaged Father00:20:03 - The Digital Defense Plan Every Parent Needs00:23:38 - “He’s Just a Friend Online” – Think Again00:24:26 - AI, Deepfakes, and the Future of Predatory Tech00:25:39 - Screen Time Rules That Could Save a Life00:28:33 - Spotting the Subtle Signs of a Grooming Attempt00:34:56 - When Kids Change: What Behavior Might Be Telling You00:39:19 - Easy Wins That Make a Big Safety Impact00:44:48 - Where to Go Next: Tools, Resources, and Real TalkLinks And Resources:Kevin on LinkedInGuardian Training SolutionsHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Fatherhood today comes with unique challenges—especially in a world dominated by screens, shifting gender roles, and the increasing struggles of young men. In this episode, Tom Bresnahan, a former Hollywood actor turned mentor and therapist, shares his journey from entertainment to empowering teenage boys. He discusses the impact of technology on young minds, the importance of emotional intelligence in parenting, and the delicate balance between discipline and understanding. Whether you're a solo dad, co-parent, or simply a man seeking to break generational cycles, this conversation provides deep insights and actionable strategies for raising resilient, emotionally healthy children.Chapters00:00:00 - Kicking Off the Conversation: Meet Tom Bresnahan00:02:08 - From Hollywood to Helping Young Men: Tom’s Journey00:03:59 - The Reality of Modern Fatherhood: Challenges & Pressures00:06:39 - Raising Emotionally Strong Kids: The Power of EQ00:11:33 - Tech, Screens & Social Media: How They’re Changing Our Boys00:14:55 - Men’s Role in a Rapidly Changing World00:17:56 - Facing Personal Struggles & Breaking Old Patterns00:20:42 - Raising Boys Who Thrive: What They Need from Us00:22:49 - The Critical Role of Mentors in a Young Man’s Life00:23:04 - What Happened to Rites of Passage? Why Boys Need Them00:24:52 - The Me Too Era & The Modern Man’s Dilemma00:25:45 - Masculinity in Crisis: Why Men Feel Lost00:26:45 - Breaking the Stigma: It’s Okay to Be a Man00:27:31 - Where Do Men Fit in Today’s Society?00:28:31 - The Masculinity Crisis: How We Fix It00:34:38 - Fatherhood Done Right: Key Lessons for Raising Boys00:37:09 - Practical Support: Programs & Resources for Parents00:41:11 - Defining Modern Masculinity: Strength, Balance & PurposeLinks And Resources:Tom on LinkedInTake Back Control by Tom BresnahanHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Jeff Hittner—executive coach, educator, and founder of Ambitious Dads—to unpack the evolving landscape of fatherhood and modern masculinity. From emotional regulation during your child’s tantrums to building a fatherhood philosophy that aligns with your values, Jeff explores the daily challenges and triumphs of being a present, intentional dad. Together, they dismantle outdated stereotypes, explore the science of male bonding, and share practical insights on cultivating deeper emotional intelligence. If you're a dad, a future father, or just a man navigating growth, this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and inspired to show up more fully.Chapters:00:00:00 – Kicking things off with gratitude and grounding vibes.00:01:05 – Enter Jeff Hittner: Founder of Ambitious Dads and fatherhood trailblazer.00:02:46 – Emotional regulation isn’t just for kids—Jeff shares the real inner work.00:05:32 – Screw-ups happen. Here’s why repair and apology are your superpowers.00:10:15 – Can you be vulnerable and still strong? This convo says hell yes.00:22:50 – What’s your fatherhood philosophy? Start creating your vision now.00:26:38 – The modern dad is here—and he’s way more than a provider.00:31:36 – Yes, your biology changes when you become a dad. Here’s the science.00:41:20 – Final reflections + where to follow Jeff for more dad-fueled wisdom.Links And Resources:Jeff Hittner’s Substack: Ambitious DadsJeff Hittner on LinkedInAmbitious Dads Program: Learn More Here.Hector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this episode, Hector has a great talk with his longtime friend and Modern Man Podcast host, Ted Phaeton, about the weight men carry—fatherhood, marriage, business, and the relentless pursuit of being that guy in every arena. Ted shares how he’s juggling the chaos of raising a newborn while running his podcast and coaching business, all while staying dialed in on his health, discipline, and leadership. They get into why men need to embrace both their strength and their softness, how breathwork and Muay Thai are shaping Ted’s ability to lead, and why the “have it all” myth is setting guys up for failure. If you’ve ever felt stretched too thin, stuck between your responsibilities and your purpose, this one’s for you.Chapters:00:00:00 - The Weight We Carry as Men00:00:56 - Newborns, Business, and the Chaos in Between00:02:46 - Keeping the Plates Spinning: Fatherhood vs. Career00:04:42 - What Every Man Needs to Hear (But Rarely Does)00:10:31 - Mastering the Clock: Time, Discipline, and Execution00:16:37 - Staying Steady When the Storm Hits00:18:42 - Pressure, Peace, and the Art of Staying Cool00:22:45 - Brotherhood, Breathwork, and the Real Meaning of Self-Care00:23:35 - Warrior & Poet: The Full Spectrum of a Man00:25:26 - Life Has Seasons—Are You Built for All of Them?00:27:45 - The Most Dangerous Man in the Room00:30:22 - Who You Are vs. Who They Told You to Be00:33:09 - The Four Codes Every Man Should Live By00:36:26 - Building a Life That Works—Not Just One That Pays00:38:05 - The Trap of Chasing the Wrong Success00:40:54 - Your Next Steps—And Why This Conversation MattersLinks and Resources:Ted on LinkedInThe Modern Man Show WebsiteThe Modern Man Show on YouTubeMore links for Ted here!Hector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Will Knecht, a man who’s been in the trenches of fatherhood, marriage, and masculinity long enough to know that the work never really ends. They get into the realities of being a dad, a stepdad, and now a grandpa, all while navigating what it means to be a man in a world that’s constantly shifting the goalposts. Will opens up about imposter syndrome, the weight of expectations, and the loneliness so many guys carry in silence. This is a conversation about legacy, about breaking cycles, and about how to show up fully as the man your people need you to be—without losing yourself in the process.Chapters:00:00:00 – Press Play and Brace Yourself00:01:22 – Will Knecht Steps Into the Arena00:01:56 – Fatherhood, Manhood, and the Weight We Carry00:04:26 – The Masculinity Maze: Finding Your Way00:06:09 – Feel It or Fail: Why Emotions Matter00:07:53 – Dad Didn’t Say ‘I Love You’—Now What?00:15:49 – School vs. Real Life: Which One Wins?00:23:14 – Alone in a Crowded Room: The Silent Struggle00:28:31 – The Last Word (And It’s a Good One)Links and Resources:Will on LinkedInMoreTheMan NewsletterHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Lawrence Dunning is back, and as always, he’s bringing the real. A top 1% real estate agent, investor, Jiu-Jitsu black belt, and host of Enter the Lionheart, he’s lived a life full of big wins and brutal lessons. This time, he opens up about business partnerships gone wrong, the stress of lawsuits, and the hard truths that come with getting older—like juggling fatherhood, a career, and aging parents, all while trying to stay grounded. If you’ve ever felt the weight of responsibility piling up, this one’s for you.Chapters:00:00:00 – The Man Who Wears Many Hats (And a Black Belt)00:02:10 – Lessons from Lawsuits: What They Don’t Teach in Business School00:03:47 – Health, Family, and the Reality Check of Middle Age00:05:11 – Why a Sick Man Only Wants One Thing00:07:47 – The Illusion of Balance: Juggling Fatherhood, Business & Self-Mastery00:11:07 – Meditation, Cold Plunges, and Training the Mind Like a Fighter00:14:58 – Facing Fear: From the Fight Game to Life’s Hardest Hits00:26:04 – Rewriting the Past: Inner Child Work & Breaking Old Patterns00:30:35 – Shifting Perspectives: The Mindset That Changes Everything00:39:20 – Closing the Loop: Where to Find Lawrence & What’s NextLinks and Resources:Lawrence on LinkedInTeam DunningHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Marshal Gillen, an award-winning speaker, speaker trainer, and men’s coach opens up about the wreckage and rebirth that followed his last breakup—140 days since his life fell apart, but who’s counting? He and Hector discuss the struggles men face in toxic relationships, the mind games of narcissistic abuse, and the brutal realization that maybe self-worth was never really there to begin with. This is for the guy who feels like he’s losing himself, the one searching for answers, and the one ready to take his power back. No fluff, no filters—just the raw truth about healing, masculinity, and starting over.Chapters:00:00:00 – Where It All Begins00:01:56 – A Familiar Face, A Different Man00:02:21 – The Armor We Wear, The Weight We Carry00:04:18 – Love, Need, or Trap?00:04:59 – The Invisible Chains We Call Love00:06:21 – The Mirror That Love Holds Up00:08:21 – When a Boy’s Tears Dry Too Soon00:11:33 – The Wounds We Deny, The Patterns We Repeat00:21:18 – Dancing in Circles with a Ghost00:25:11 – The First Domino to Fall00:27:24 – The Unbreakable Knot of Pain and Love00:30:49 – When the Past Knocks, Will You Open the Door?00:35:32 – Who Are You Without the Pain?00:39:22 – Four Steps, A Lifetime of Change00:40:22 – The Purpose Waiting on the Other Side00:43:41 – Brotherhood, Sanctuary, and the Art of Being Seen00:47:33 – Faith, Strength, and the Masculine SoulLinks and Resources:Marshal on LinkedInMarshal on InstagramAll of Marshal’s Links and Resources for N.A.R.C. SupportSacred Kingdom ChurchHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector and Jake Isaacs, the co-founder of Gathering the Kings, have a real heart-to-heart about what it means to be a man these days. Jake opens up about figuring himself out, ditching old ideas about being a guy, and how a tough challenge changed how he sees his purpose, leading others, and relationships. They get real about the stuff guys don't talk about, the myths that hold them back, and the tough truths about being genuine in today's world. It's raw, honest, and will make you think long after the episode's over.Chapters:00:00:00 – Kicking Off with the Guest Who Redefines Growth00:02:04 – Why Jake Isaacs’ Journey Starts with Reading00:03:03 – What Happens When Identity Becomes Your Shield00:04:08 – Childhood Stories That Shape Who We Are00:05:44 – Misaligned Marriages: Hard Lessons from Jake’s Past00:08:12 – The Dangerous Myth of ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life’00:12:53 – Are Nice Guys Really Finishing Last?00:14:37 – Unpacking the Power of Polarity in Love00:18:43 – The John Mayer Script for Love: Myth or Reality?00:19:47 – Building Family Mastermind Moments That Stick00:20:42 – Loneliness, Brotherhood, and the Male Crisis00:21:40 – How Vulnerability Can Change the Game for Men00:23:49 – Why Owning Your Story Is a Superpower00:25:19 – Lessons from a Lifetime of Reading and Reflection00:28:05 – Mentorship as the Secret to True Growth00:32:36 – Silent Retreats and Darkness: A Different Kind of Growth00:37:53 – Redefining Modern Masculinity: The Big TakeawayLinks and Resources:Jake on LinkedInJake on InstagramGathering the KingsGathering the Kings on YouTubeHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!